


Amortentia

by jedikiller



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Actual plot, Angst, Ben Solo is a Mess, Consensual Sex, Crossover, Drama, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Life and Death situations, Mashup, Matt is protective, Minor Character Death, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Star Wars/Harry Potter, Tension, Unprotected Sex, alternative universe, can be read from a female POV too, so that my non binary bbs can feel comfortable, writing reader as non binary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:41:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 106,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25642969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedikiller/pseuds/jedikiller
Summary: It's your fifth year at Hogwarts, but people are acting off. Especially the person you've been interested in all these years: Kylo Ren. Being a student at Hogwarts wouldn't be so hard if you weren't dealing with the Solo triplets, piles of homework, or the Dark Lord, but thankfully you have your close friends to keep you sane and in line when making bad decisions.This will be a three part fic. Story starts in fifth year, where students are 16/17 years old. Story will continue into sixth year (17/18) and seventh year (18/19). I know this isn’t canon Hogwarts ages!Part One: Chapters 1-15Part Two: Chapters 16-31Part Three: Chapters 32-45Fic Playlist:https://open.spotify.com/playlist/22LNIK7XzUMlAiozgTqbWS?si=cDiJCG7gQJyx3nn2FEkvYw(Best listened to on shuffle.)
Relationships: Ben Solo/Reader, Ben Solo/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You, Matt The Radar Technician/You, Matt the Radar Technician/Reader, Solo Triplets/You
Comments: 80
Kudos: 136





	1. Triplets

It was easy to recall: the ceiling above you coated with twinkling stars, the way all the current students sat in formation, heads turning to watch you and the other first years enter. 

Everything was new to you, being muggle-born. Your parents didn’t know how to take it at first, but after some thought they accepted your magical abilities. Being so supportive, they sent you off to Hogwarts with a hug and kiss, a suitcase packed full of your favorite muggle treats, and your childhood cat.

You watched as the candles above you floated in mid-air, something you weren’t sure you could ever get used to. But, it was fascinating. Your attention shifted when you heard someone clear their throat, causing a silence to fall over the entirety of the room.

A gray-haired man dressed in silver robes and half-moon glasses with an incredible beard stood behind a gold owl podium with his arms outstretched. “Welcome, welcome to another year at Hogwarts!” You listened as the Headmaster began his start of the year speech.

As you were focused on the powerful man, you were suddenly knocked to the side. Running into the girl beside you, you apologized as you tried to regain your footing. You looked to see who had shoved you, finding a brown-haired girl mouthing the words “I’m sorry” to you, while pointing her finger to the right of her.

Leaning forward slightly, you were able to see who she was pointing at. Tall for his age with dark brown hair, a large nose and full lips. He was handsome, but you were far too annoyed to care. You watched as he pushed another boy, this time forward, causing a disturbance in the group of first years.

With your eyebrows knitted in irritation, you bit your lip as you tried not to speak out in front of everyone. The brown-haired girl moved back, letting you get a better look at the troublesome boy. He caught your eye briefly, giving you a wink before looking away. You felt yourself blush, even though you still wanted to punch him in the face.

He tapped his friend on the shoulder to get his attention and then pointed at you. The boy craned his neck to get a look, and that's when you realized. Twins. He was identical to the one who had been causing discourse, but maybe a bit paler. There was something about him that intrigued you, making you a bit more interested than in his stupid brother.

Trying to focus on Albus Dumbledore, you turned your attention to the front of the room as a woman took center focus, pulling out an old hat and a long piece of parchment. Everyone listened for the first name as the woman cleared her throat. “Hermione Granger!” she called, and you heard the brown-haired girl next to you gasp.

The two of you locked eyes and you gave her a small smile; you could tell she was nervous. Everyone watched as she sat down on a stool and the older woman placed the hat on her head. All the muggle born first years, including yourself, jumped when the hat came to life and began to talk.

“It’s a sorting hat.” You heard someone whisper to you. You turned your head, only to see the same boy who had been pushing people around.

“Ben Solo!” called the woman.

“That’s me!” the boy beside you shouted, causing heads to turn. You felt your face grow red, wishing you could disappear into the crowd. You watched as Ben sat proudly on the chair, the hat hardly touching his head before it yelled, “Gryffindor!”

“He’s an idiot, don’t mind him.” You turned to see who had spoken to you, and your eyes grew wide as they landed on a carbon copy of the two twin boys you had just seen, except this one had curly blonde hair.

“He’s an idiot too.” You heard as the other dark-haired boy placed his hand on the blonde one, grinning down at you.

“Fuck off.” The blonde loudly whispered as he shrugged his brother’s hand off him.

“Matt Solo!”

“You’re so fucking irritating, Kylo.” The blonde spat before pushing rudely through the first years, making his way to the front. The hat was placed on his head, seconds later declaring “Slytherin”, and the entire table furthest left of the hall erupted into cheer.

“Makes sense, mum and dad called that before we got on the train.” The last boy remaining whispered. You nodded your head, pretending to know what he was talking about. You knew there were houses, each student being sorted into one, but that was the extent of your knowledge.

“Kylo Organa!” The woman called, and you heard a burst of laughter come from two people on opposite sides of the room.

“Momma’s boy!” taunted Ben to his brother for some reason you didn’t know. Everyone in the hall looked confused as they glanced from one to the other, assuming it was some inside joke.

“Gryffindor!” the hat shouted, and you watched as the boy known as Kylo walked over to his brown-haired twin, leaving the other in Slytherin.

The woman called a few other names; Susan Bones, Neville Longbottom, Ron Weasley, and Draco Malfoy. You felt yourself spacing out, trying desperately to listen for your name. The woman called for a ‘Harry Potter’ and you watched as everyone around you began to whisper as he approached the sorting hat.

“Gryffindor!” The hat announced after a few moments, causing the entire table of Gryffindor’s to explode. You couldn’t help but smile at every house’s enthusiasm when a new student joined them.

The old woman cleared her throat, looking at the long parchment through golden framed glasses. She called your name, and you felt your heart skip a beat. It felt like all eyes were on you as the first years cleared a path to the front. Heavy footed, you made your way to the seat and sat in front of the entire room.

Holding your breath, you felt the hat being placed on your head. Not knowing what to do, you closed your eyes, listening as the hat spoke to you. It seemed as if he was picking away at every part of your brain, trying to see you for who you really were. “Oh, I know where you belong; Ravenclaw!” he declared, and you saw the table of your new housemates jump from their seats and cheer.

Feeling ecstatic, you skipped over to the table of blue and bronze, being greeted by a beautiful girl named Cho. You remember shaking her hand, as well as many others as they slapped you on the back and tussled your hair. Little did you know, Hogwarts would become your second home.

-

From your seated position, you sat in your school robes with the other Ravenclaws, watching as the newest batch of first years entered the Great Hall. Your eyes scanned over the nervous eleven year olds, remembering just how you had felt five years ago.

With your two best friends at either side of you, you listened respectively as Albus started the same speech he always gives. As he spoke, you caught something out of the corner of your eye. Looking briefly towards the end of the room, you saw a familiar blonde-haired boy with glasses trying to get your attention.

Rolling your eyes, you looked away, but could still see him waving his arm in your peripheral view. Luna Lovegood, who became your first friend at Hogwarts, leaned in to whisper something to you. “He’s not going to stop, just wave back.” The sorting began, and you once again looked over at Matt. A giant smile grew across his face as he waved again, and you threw up your hand and waved back.

You loved Matt, you really did, but sometimes he could be a little irritating. You were thankful for his friendship, him being one of your three closest friends here at Hogwarts. The two of you instantly clicked, you liked his dry and witty humor, you both had the same taste in music, and you occasionally liked the idea of having someone around who could send others running in the opposite direction because of how loud he can yell.

“At least him and Ben aren’t shouting about like they did last year.” Rey leaned in to whisper to you and Luna. Rey had been assigned as your dormmate, as well as Luna, making the three of you become inseparable.

You heard someone ‘shh’ the three of you, and you looked up to see Cho Chang giving all of you a dirty look. “Be respectful!” she mouthed, and the three of you murmured apologies. Professor McGonagal had finished with the sorting process, picking up the hat and moving back to her spot at the staff table.

Dumbledore stood from his position, walking over to the same owl podium that he spoke from each year. As he began to speak, the sound of a woman clearing her throat interrupted him. With a surprised expression, he looked over his shoulder to see a short, brown-haired woman in all pink start to rise from her seat next to Professor Snape, gaining dirty looks from all the teachers.

“If I may?” she asked in a high pitched, almost annoyingly too sweet voice.

Everyone could tell Albus was taken aback as he arched his eyebrow but obliged by motioning with his arm for her to continue. The woman giggled, flashing a smile as she came around the table and stood in front of him.

Hearing whispering behind you, you turned to see the Weasley twins, Fred and George, snickering to each other as they talked. You assumed they were already planning their pranks for this year, probably targeting the poor woman before you.

As she started to speak, you turned to pay attention. She introduced herself as Dolores Umbridge, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and that she also had a few titles with the Ministry of Magic. You rolled your eyes, not focusing in on the rest of her speech knowing the track record for all DADA teachers; no one lasted more than a year. 

Umbridge completed her speech, taking back the seat next to Snape, and Dumbledore announced that the feast had began. The room was immediately filled with chatter as friends caught up with those they hadn’t seen since the previous school year. The table before you was filled with foods from all different cultures, you looked around and selected whatever seemed best to you.

While you ate, you chatted with Rey and Luna. Luna told you about all the research her and her father had done over the summer for their newspaper; The Quibbler. She told you that she caught a few Billiwig’s on her trip to Australia and started to breed them. Rey’s summer was filled with combat training that her father urged her to do, him always being paranoid about the Dark Lord’s uprising. She was often compared to Hermione Granger, being one of the smartest people in the school.

You were so distracted by your friends that you hardly noticed their groans of protest as Matt and Ben pushed themselves between them so that they could sit next to you. You felt Matt wrap his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a squeeze.

“Did you miss me?” He asked sarcastically, taking a piece of food off your plate and popping it into your mouth.

“Do I dare say I did?” you joked, sending apologetic looks to your girlfriends for the boy’s behavior.

“You don’t have to say it, I already know the answer.” Ben said, placing his hand on your arm and squeezing it lightly. “But I’m sure I know who you missed most.”

His last sentence made you choke on your drink, coughing as Matt smacked you on the back. “Oi, Ben don’t talk like that! You’re gonna kill her!”

With eyes now watering, you wiped away tears and swallowed again. “Shut the hell up, Ben. I know for a fact I didn’t miss you.” It was a lie, but only half. Out of all three of the brothers, he was probably the one you liked least. He was so loud and rambunctious, always the center of attention. And always teasing you relentlessly about your crush on Kylo, though you never admitted to him that his suspicions were right.

“Shit, that really cuts deep.” Ben jokingly brought his hands up to his heart and made a face as if he was in pain.

“You’re so dumb.” Rolling your eyes at Ben, you tried to shift your attention to your friends who were getting up from the table. “Are you guys going back to the common room?” You asked and they nodded their heads. Trying to scoot back from the table, you felt a hand at your back. Turning to Matt, you frowned. “I need to unpack, let me go.”

“Oh, haven’t you heard?” He asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Heard what?” you folded your arms across your chest, waiting for him to continue.

Matt and Ben stood from the table, and before you could protest Matt was picking you up into his arms and swinging you over his shoulder. You let out a yelp, terrified of heights as the tall boy started to walk down the isle between the two tables. “I’m taking you to the Slytherin common room, I always knew you were sorted into the wrong house anyways.”

Feeling frustrated, you smacked his muscular back a few times, demanding to be let go. You twisted your neck and caught a glimpse of Kylo sitting at the Gryffindor table with Seamus, Dean, and Finn, glaring daggers into Matt as he carried you out.

“Matt, please let me go.” You whined, but he refused, continuing to walk down the corridor with you swung over his shoulder. You called out for Rey and Luna, but all they could do was shrug while Matt laughed.

“Mr. Solo, do you really want to start off this year with detention?” You heard a deep, baritone voice ask.

“Uh-no sir.” Matt replied, stopping dead in his tracks. You could feel the blood starting to rush to your head, wondering if you were starting to look like a tomato.

“Then please put your poor victim back down on her feet.” The voice you had now identified as Snape’s demanded.

The sound of Matt groaning, knowing his fun was over, came and he gently placed you back down on the ground. Fixing your hair, you huffed and gave him a dirty look. “You’re annoying.” You turned to Ben and waved your arms at him. “And you were no help.”

Ben shrugged, and you turned back to Matt. “I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast. Hopefully we’ll have some classes together this year.”

Matt pulled you into a giant hug, almost suffocating you as he pressed your head against his chest. “IF I DON’T HAVE ANY CLASSES WITH YOU THIS YEAR I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!” His voice boomed throughout the hallway, causing students to stop and stare. “I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF AND IT’S YOUR FAULT!”

With your free arm, you pushed yourself away from him, taking note of all the people around now looking in your direction. “Merlin, you’re so embarrassing!” You shouted at him as he started to make his way down the corridor.

“I could be even more, if you’d like!” He yelled back at you from a few yards away. “You know I like a good challenge!”

Watching your friend disappear, you turned to Luna and Rey who had been waiting patiently for you to finish. “Sometimes, I think Matt is a little too loud for me.” Luna confessed as the three of you made your way to the Ravenclaw common room. “And I’m starting to think as each year goes by, he somehow gets louder.”

“Remember when he was going through puberty?” Rey asked, and you recalled how every time Matt would yell his voice would crack. You all burst into a fit of laughter. “So embarrassing that I’m related to those idiots.”

“Well, at least they’re your cousins. Could be worse.” You shrugged as you passed by all the moving portraits hung on the wall. You found your way to the west tower of Hogwarts, and the three of you began to climb the tall staircase together.

Once reaching the top, the familiar bronze, eagle shaped door knocker awaited you. The only thing you had found tedious about being a Ravenclaw was having to answer a riddle every time you wanted entrance to the common room. You thought back to your first year, where you occasionally couldn’t gain access and would have to wait for another Ravenclaw to come by with the right answer.

“You are my brother, but I am not your brother. Who am I?” asked the knocker.

Without a second thought, your reply came quickly. “Your sister.” The sound of unlocking was heard, and the door began to open. You let out a sigh of relief; the first riddle of the year was always the easiest.

You and your two best friends entered the common room, watching as the Prefects helped the first years to their proper dorms. You smiled and waved at a few familiar faces, following behind Luna and Rey as they pushed past students and aimed for the entrance to the dormitories behind the statue of Rowena Ravenclaw.

Climbing the second staircase, Luna opened the door to the three of yours’s dorm. It looked the same as last year, three beds equally apart in a bronze walled, circular room. The bed posts were a dark brown, hanging with blue tapestries. All your luggage had already been brought up from the train and were set down next to your bed.

Feeling exhausted, you jumped up and laid out on the mattress, closing your eyes and letting out a deep sigh. Luna came into view, standing over you as you opened your eyes. “What’s wrong?” she asked in her light, airy voice.

“Nothing.” You smiled, thinking of what was to come. “I’ve got a good feeling about this year.”


	2. Slut

A light breeze woke you, and you mumbled while pulling the blankets up further on your body. Still half asleep, you shifted in your bed to look towards the window. You saw Luna sitting there on the window sill, still dressed in her white nightgown with her long silver hair tied back in a braid.

“Luna?” You asked, sitting up slightly in bed. You could hear Rey stirring about in her sheets, assuming your voice had woken her up.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She she said quietly. 

One of the great perks of being a Ravenclaw was the gorgeous view of the mountains, something you could look out on every day and never get tired of. Wrapping yourself in a blanket, you joined Luna, resting your body against the wall.

Letting your eyes scan over the area below, you looked to Gryffindor tower, noticing a large amount of girls standing near their windows all peeking out. “What are they looking at?” You asked Luna, motioning to the girl’s dorms across the way.

Without looking, Luna spoke softly. “Ben Solo has been running outside with his shirt off for the last hour. I haven’t really paid him much attention.”

Rey bolted up in her bed. “Ben is running around outside…in September, shirtless?”

“Yes, I think he was also wearing very small and tight running shorts.” Luna hummed.

“No fucking way.” Rey threw the blankets from her bed, rubbing her eyes as she walked over to join you and Luna. “Where the hell is he?” She asked, eyes scanning across the green grass near the edge of the forest.

The three of you leaned towards the opened window until Luna pointed with her thin, pale finger. Rey pushed through the window, half her body slightly dangling out as she cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted, “SLUT!” at her cousin.

You watched as he stopped in his tracks, running his hand through his hair and looking up towards Gryffindor tower. All the girls who had been watching him quickly ducked from view as he searched for the source of name-calling.

Rey took a deep breath and shouted again, “YOU’RE A FUCKING SLUT!” and then slammed the window closed, huffing as she trailed off to the bathroom.

Luna stayed put as you stood from your seated position, looking up at you. “She’s not wrong.” She shrugged, eyes drifting back to the mountains.

You let out a laugh. Pulling out your robes for school, you laid them out on your bed and headed to the refresher. Rey was already out of the shower, towel wrapped around her thin and athletic body as she styled her hair for the day.

Making sure your hair wouldn’t get wet, you hoped into the shower and got cleaned up. You heard someone knock on the glass of the shower, and you wiped away the steam to see Rey’s face. “Breakfast is starting soon.” She said loudly over the running water.

You thanked her and hurried up in the bathroom, turning off the water and grabbing one of the blue towels to wrap around your body. Trying not to drip water all over your dorm, you dried off in a hurry, throwing the towel back around you and rushing back into the bedroom.

“Sorry.” You apologized, seeing your two friends already dressed and ready to go down to the Great Hall. You threw your robes on, slipped your feet into a pair of black shoes, and picked your wand up from your bedside table.

Luna gave you an airy smile and Rey waved the two of you out of the dorm, stepping down the spiral staircase and moving through the common room. Nervous first years stood about, already clutching their book bags. You smiled, remembering you had done just the same.

“I’m starving.” Rey complained as the three of you stomped down Ravenclaw tower. “Quidditch try outs are next week and I feel like I’ve gained weight. My broom won’t even be able to carry me.” Rey pinched her flat stomach.

“Shut the hell up.” You laughed, pushing her with your hand. “You’re so thin and in shape, people would kill to look like you.”

You approached the entrance of the Great Hall, stopping in your steps as you watched Kylo enter, catching his eye just before he disappeared.

“What’s wrong?” Luna asked, tilting her head.

“Nothing.” You stammered. “I-uh-let’s get some breakfast. I want to know what classes we have for this quarter.”

You watched as the known ‘Golden Trio’ came down the stairs opposite of you, Hermione with her nose already in a book while Ron and Harry chatted. As they approached, Harry greeted you all with a smile, Ron with a head nod, and Hermione still glued to her book.

“Hello, Harry.” Luna greeted in her dreamy voice. “Hello, Ron, Hermione.”

“I don’t know how you do that without walking into things.” You said to Hermione as the six of you walked into the Great Hall.

“Trust me, she’s got loads of experience.” Ron laughed. “Can’t believe she’s already studying and the school year hasn’t started.”

“Ronald, it’s the first day of classes.” Hermione closed her book, looking up at the tall red-head who had clearly grown a few inches over summer.

“Hopefully we’ll have some together.” Luna smiled, Rey leaving the conversation to go sit at the table.

“Yeah, Luna, that would be lovely.” Harry replied.

With a smile, you and Luna pardoned yourselves from the Gryffindors and made your way over to the Ravenclaw table, Luna sitting beside Rey and you taking a seat across from them. Professor Flitwick was busy walking around the table, passing out schedules.

“Ah! Ms. Lovegood! Good to see you this year, how are the Nargles?” He asked as he thumbed through the stack of parchment.

“Not good, Professor. My father and I have kept mistletoe out for the last six months hoping it’d attract them, but we’ve got no luck.” She sighed as he handed her her schedule.

“Well, my dear I’m sure you’ll be finding them someday.” He pulled out another piece of parchment and handed it to you. “Doing well?” He asked.

“Yes, sir. It was a lovely summer.” You beamed, holding out your schedule in front of you.

“Glad to hear, and what about you Ms. Skywalker?” he asked Rey, tapping her on the shoulder with her rolled up schedule.

“Just as good as the year before, thank you.” She spoke through a mouthful of food, making you laugh.

“Well, ladies, I look forward to the new year! Make sure to stay out of trouble!” He patted Rey on the back and continued down the table to pass out schedules.

“He’ll never let me live that down.” Rey rolled her eyes. You knew what she was talking about; third year she had gotten into an argument with one of the Slytherin girls, resulting in the Slytherin having a bloody nose and a black eye. “She deserved it.”

Luna hummed, ignoring the conversation and filling her plate. You shrugged at your best friend. “It was pretty funny.”

“Thank you!” Rey lifted her hands up, a sign of relief. “Oh shit, look at our schedule…two classes with Slytherin.” As soon as she had finished her sentence, you heard a loud commotion coming from the Slytherin table.

“Oi!” Matt yelled to you, your face turning red with embarrassment as he stood up on his seat, pointing at his schedule. “TWO CLASSES!” He gave the thumbs up as you sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Is it possible to die of embarrassment?” You asked your two friends, watching Matt shout across the hall at his brothers.

“I haven’t yet, so I’m sure you’re in the clear.” Rey commented, rolling her eyes at her loud cousins. “And they say Harry Potter is bad, I’m pretty sure these dumbasses are a lot worse.”

The three of you broke into a fit of laughter. A bell chimed through out the school, signaling the beginning of the school day. “C’mon, we’ve got to get to Charms,” You said to your friends, “can’t be late on the first day, especially since Flitwick is our head of house.”

The three of you made your way to the charms classroom, located in the charms corridor on the third floor. Pushing through the crowd of students trying to find their way to new classes, Rey made a way for you and Luna to follow behind. 

“So many damn people.” Rey mumbled to herself, but loud enough so you could both hear.

Reaching the charms corridor, you walked along the hall until finding classroom 2E. The room was just as the same as it’s been the last four years, dimly lit with four small windows at the head of the classroom letting sunrays fall on the wooden rows of desks. Portraits hung on the stone walls with all desks facing the front of the room where Professor Flitwick had already started writing on one of the two blackboards.

Aiming for a seat in the back, you went to sit, swinging your book bag onto your desk and pulling out your copy of ‘Achievements in Charming’ and setting it in front of you. Matt came bursting through the door loudly, his friend Poe Dameron right behind him as they scanned the row of desks for a seat. You watched Matt catch sight of you, quickly rushing over to the seat beside you.

As Rey also made her way to that seat, Matt threw his hand out, grabbing her by the arm and pushing her to the side. She let out an annoyed ‘HEY!’ as he sunk into the seat beside you, panting out of breath with a stupid grin on across his face.

“What the hell, Matt.” Rey smacked him lightly on the back of the head, not even waiting for a response before taking a seat in front of the two of you beside Luna.

“Good morning, everyone!” Came Flitwick’s squeaky voice as he greeted the class. “I hope you all were studying over the summer since you fifth years will be taking your O.W.L’s in June!”

The class groaned in unison at the mention of the end of the year testing. “Oh, don’t be like that!” Professor Flitwick reacted to the students. Today we will be doing a bit of reviewing. I’m hoping you will remember your summoning charms from the previous year?”

A scoff came from the side of the room and you looked over to see Draco Malfoy sitting with Armitage Hux by his side with Pansy and Phasma at the desk next to them. You rolled your eyes, watching Draco sink down into his chair while Hux sat with his arm on the desk, chin resting on his hand as he zoned out.

“Who could preform the charm for me then, anybody?” Flitwick asked, looking around the room. “Ms. Skywalker, would you be so kind?”

Rey nodded, clearing her throat. She turned to face you and Matt, holding her wand out. “Accio glasses.” She said, making the curve-like movement and Matt’s glasses came flying into her hand. Once sitting in her palm, she closed on the glasses tightly, the sound of snapping coming shortly after.

“Very good!” Flitwick beamed, ignoring Matt’s frustrated shout once realizing his cousin had broken his glasses. “I’d like for you all to practice the summoning charm with each other today since they will be on your O.W.L’s!” The class groaned again.

Dismissing the class to practicing, Matt stood from his chair and pried his broken glasses from Rey’s grip. “I cannot stand you.” He hissed, fixing his glasses with the repair charm and placing them back on the bridge of his large nose.

Rey shrugged. “Don’t steal my seat next time.” And turned to face Luna.

“Want to be partners?” Matt asked, gripping his wand in his hand. You nodded, watching him as he summoned a book from across the room. It came flying at your head quickly, Matt reaching out to grab it before it could do any damage.

“Really?” You snapped as he laughed, setting the book down on the desk.

“Hey, guys!” Poe whispered, grabbing both of your attention. “Watch this.” He cleared his throat, pointing his wand directly as Hux. “Accio robes!” he whispered, and the class grew silent as Hux was dragged across the row of desks, hitting his thighs hard against them as they stopped him from being pulled to Poe.

The three of you burst into laughter as Hux looked around, glaring at Poe. Flitwick lifted his head from a book he had been reading, observing Hux as he cursed under his breath. “Remember, students, if you summon something that someone is holding or wearing, you can cause a lot of harm!” and went back to reading.

As Phasma straightened the desk back out, Hux turned back to his group of friends. They were well known throughout the school as being the ‘assholes’, no one really liking them. Even Poe and Matt belonged to their same house and couldn’t stand the four of them, let alone any of their friends. It was rumored that their parents had ties to the Dark Lord, making people want to avoid them even more.

The rest of class was spent summoning objects and you laughing as Matt and Poe messed around. Charms class had always been one of your favorites because Flitwick was so lenient. The bell to dismiss class rang, and Flitwick reminded you all to review the banishing and levitation charm before coming to class on Wednesday.

You parted ways from Matt and Poe in the hall, saying your good bye’s before heading to your next period. Looking around for Luna and Rey, you couldn’t spot them, assuming they had already left for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Knowing that the class was held on the third floor of the Hogwarts Turris Magnus.

With a sigh, you walked through the crowd of black robes, passing by familiar faces who would smile as you went on your way. Climbing up the steps, you reached the Serpentine Corridor and spotted the classroom entrance.

Hurrying on your feet, you saw someone coming in the other direction. Realizing it was Kylo, looking as handsome as ever in his new school robes, you felt yourself blush. The two of you reached the door at the same time, both stopping to awkwardly look at each other.

“Hey-uh-“ You paused, not knowing what to say. You were offended that he hadn’t approached you yet, wondering what his reasoning could be. “Nice to see you.” You mumbled, looking away from his eyes and walking into the classroom.

You looked around for an open seat, spotting one towards the right of the room. You sat quietly, taking note of everyone in attendance. Kylo entered soon after, his eyes drifting to the open seat next to you. He contemplated taking it, but before he could make a decision his brother Ben was pushing past him, pulling out the chair beside you and sitting down.

Ben looked over to his brother with a playful smile, shrugging as Kylo gritted his teeth. Professor Umbridge began to descend from her office at the top of the small stair case, dressed in all pink just as the night before. She greeted the class, asking for silence before beginning.

Ben, being the annoying asshole he was, started to pinch at your arms while she spoke about the future coursework, making you squirm in your seat. Kylo watched from across the room, jaw tightening in frustration. You let out a small squeak, smacking him away with your hand. “Fuck off!” you whispered as he laughed.

Umbridge waved her wand and a stack of books began to float mid-air, dropping each one on front of a student. You leaned over your book, reading the title; Dark Arts Defense: Basics for Beginners. You crinkled your nose as Hermione Granger raised her hand, stating that the book mentioned nothing of using defensive spells.

“Using spells?” Umbridge giggled in a high-pitched tone. “I don’t imagine why you’d need to use spells in my classroom.” She replied, taking a step towards Hermione.

“We’re not going to use magic?” Ron asked, knitting his eyebrows together.

Professor Umbridge turned to face him, “You’ll be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk free way.”

“What use is that if we’re going to be attacked? We won’t be risk free.” Harry chimed in.

Umbridge turned her back to him. “Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class.” She replied harshly, walking back to the front of the room.

You could feel the heavy uncomfortableness of the room as everyone waited for what would happen next. Watching the woman, she turned back to face the class. “It is the view of the ministry that a theoretical will be sufficient to get you through your examinations, which, after all, is what school is all about!”

“And how are those theories supposed to help us with what’s out there?” Harry asked immediately after Professor Umbridge had finished speaking.

“There is nothing out there, my dear. Who do you assume would want to hurt children like yourself?” She asked, bringing her hands together as she peered down at him from her platform.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe…Lord Voldemort.” Harry responded.

A whisper broke out amongst the room, Rey turning to look at you and exchange a glance from across the way. You heard Ben mutter, ‘no way’ under his breath, clearly admiring Harry’s back-talking.

Umbridge stood there, lips twitching as she thought of what to say next. Letting her mouth form into a creepy smile, she lifted her hand. “Let me make this quite plain,” she started to pace down the aisle between the desks, “you have been told that a certain dark wizard is at large once again.” She continued to walk, passing Harry’s desk and now only feet away from your own. “This is a lie.”

“It’s not a lie, I saw him, I fought him!” Before Harry could continue, Dolores Umbridge was spinning on her heel.

“Detention, Mr. Potter!” she shouted, cutting him off as she came back towards the front of the classroom.

“So, according to you Cedric Diggory dropped dead on his own of his own accord?” Harry continued. 

“Cedric Diggory’s death was a tragic accident-“ she started.

“He was murdered, Voldemort killed him! You must know that-“

“ENOUGH!” Umbridge bellowed, arms straight at her side. “Enough.” She said again, much more softly. “Meet me later, Mr. Potter, my office.” Clearing her throat, she turned to the blackboard and began to write. “The rest of the period will be spent in silence, I expect all of you to read the first two chapters before the bell rings.”

Everyone let out a groan, clearly not interested in doing so. Umbridge sat at the desk in the front of the room, watching over everyone as they read. The period went by slowly, Ben occasionally resting his hand on your thigh as a joke before you would shove him off. The bell rang, and you were thankful for the break in silence.

The class cleared out quickly, you watched as Ben patted Harry on the shoulder, whispering something in his ear as they walked down the hallway. You turned to your two friends, joining them on the way down to the Great Hall for lunch.

You went to take a seat at the Ravenclaw table with your two friends before spotting Kylo out of the corner of your eye. You excused yourself, telling them you’d see them at third period, and made your way over to the Gryffindor’s.

“Hey.” You smiled, taking the seat across from Kylo.

“Hey.” He replied, looking shocked as you sat down.

“Haven’t seen you much since the start of the year.” You grabbed some food and put it on the plate before you.

“It hasn’t even been 24 hours.” He replied, regretting his tone as you stopped mid-motion to look at him. “Sorry.” He apologized. “Just, ya know, tired.” Even after all these years and you being around frequently because of your friendship with Matt, he was still somehow unable to talk to you like a normal human being.

“Was your summer alright?” You asked, trying to make conversation. “Matt told me the pranks you pulled on Ben.” You paused. “Clever, really. I think the twins would be impressed.” You glanced over at Fred and George Weasley, the notorious pranksters of Hogwarts.

“Ha, yeah. It was a good one. Didn’t spend too much time studying, was pretty busy.” He started to think back on his summer; to the things he kept hidden from his family.

“That’s nice.” You smiled as he looked up and you could have sworn for a split second his cheeks went pink. “Dad got me a few new plants for my collection.”

“More? Won’t you run out of room for them?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. Everyone in your friend group knew your love for plants and herbology.

You giggled, the sound of your laugh making his heart flutter. “No, I don’t think I will. Dad is actually building me a small greenhouse to keep in the backyard.”

“Must be nice to have such a supportive father.” Kylo trailed off, looking down at his food. He had never admitted it to you, but Matt has mentioned before that Kylo and his father didn’t get along very well.

“What are you doing, you don’t belong here, nerd.” Ben appeared beside you, swinging his legs under the table and grabbing a sandwich off a platter.

“Ben…” You were irritated, wishing he could read social cues.

“What class do you have next?” He asked, reaching for your schedule but you snatched it away before he could grab it.

“Care of Magical Creatures. And keep your sandwich hands off my paper.” You snapped, looking at his dirty fingers covered in some sort of sauce.

Ben slowly brought his fingers up to his mouth, licking each one slowly. After being wiped clean, he gave you a wink.

“You’re disgusting.” You said, watching him wipe his saliva fingers on his robe.

“That’s not what the ladies say.” He responded quickly, making Kylo groan.

The bell rang throughout the castle, letting everyone know it was time to head to third period. You stood from the table and gave Kylo a wave. “See you.” He nodded, watching you as you joined back up with Rey and Luna and headed out towards the grounds, his eyes not leaving your figure until you were out of sight.

-

“Hello, ‘fter noon, class!” Hagrid welcomed the Ravenclaw and Slytherin students as they awaited what was in store for today. “Glad to see yah ‘ere on the first day!” He clapped his giant hands together, shifting weight between each leg. “Now today I thought it would be fun to do ah little hunt!”

People glanced around at each other, curious by what he meant. “Who ‘ere has heard of ah Bowtruckle?” He asked, looking around for a raised hand. “Yes, Ms. Lovegood, go ‘head.”

“The Bowtruckle is a hand-sized, insect-eating tree dweller with long sharp fingers, brown eyes, and a general appearance of a flat-faced stick figure made of bark and twigs, which serves well as camouflage in its natural habitat.” Luna recited almost as if she was reading the description from a book.

“Yes, very good! Ten points to Ravenclaw!” Hagrid grinned. “Now fer today I want ya to get together in groups. You’ll be lookin’ for these little guys out in the forest, they’re hard tah spot so make sure yer paying attention!”

The class started to form into groups, yours obviously being of Poe, Matt, Rey and Luna. You followed behind as they started for the edge of the forest, searching for Wiggentrees. The five of you passed by Draco, Pansy, Phasma, and Hux, all of them sneering as you continued to walk.

“How’s the legs, Huxy?” Poe taunted. “Feeling okay after that little spill earlier?”

“Watch yourself, Dameron.” Hux warned, sticking his nose in the air.

“Yeah, because I’m so scared of a ginger.” Poe brought his hands up and pretended to be afraid before you were walking out of earshot from the group of Slytherins. “Prick.” Poe muttered under his breath.

Class moved by fast, probably due to the fun you were having searching for the tiny creatures. You were only able to observe three, their cute, green bodies extremely lanky as they moved around. Watching Luna, she was so gentle with them as they climbed into her hand, spinning with happiness as she beamed down at them.

Hagrid dismissed the class and everyone made their way back towards the castle for free-period and dinner. Yours was spent in the library with Matt as the two of you reviewed charms for Wednesday. You heard Matt close his book, setting it down on his lap and looking to you.

“You doing okay?” He asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

“Yes?” You answered, confused by his sudden concern. “Why?”

“Just checking in. You know, if you ever wanted to talk about anything…” he paused for a moment before continuing, “I’m here for you.”

A smile started to stretch across your lips. “Thanks, Matt.” You heard his stomach grow loudly. “You should probably eat.” You laughed, raising an eyebrow as he clutched his stomach.

Getting up from his seat, Matt outstretched his hand towards you. “Coming?” He asked.

You shook your head, remembering the snacks your parents had packed in your suitcase as they did every year. “I want to get some more studying done before bed.” Matt gave you a silly look, holding himself from making fun of you. “I’m a nerd, I know.” You said for him as he smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Promise?” He asked.

“Promise.” You replied.

You sighed, watching him trail out the library and buried yourself back into your books.

-

Quite a few hours had passed going unnoticed. You yawned, looking up at one of the clocks on the library wall. It was almost 11pm, which meant you needed to get back to your dorm before curfew. Packing your books into your bag, you swung it over your shoulder and said good bye to the librarian, Ms. Pince. She didn’t like many people, especially not Matt and his loud mouth, but the two of you had an unspoken respect for each other.

Walking down the empty halls, you made your way back to Ravenclaw Tower. You passed by the portraits on the walls as their eyes grew tired, some already asleep. You heard the distant footsteps from someone down the hall, looking up to see who it was.

Kylo.

He looked tired and worn out, the way he dragged his large feet with each step. It looked like he was coming from the Slytherin common room, or at least that was in the direction of where he was returning from. You hoped he would look up at you, but he kept his head down as he walked by.

Stopping in the middle of the corridor, you turned around. “Kylo?” You asked, making him stop in his tracks. “Are you alright?” You questioned, too afraid to approach him.

Kylo turned his head to look at you from over his shoulder. You waited, but no reply came. Instead, he gave you a half-hearted smile before continuing on his way, eventually leaving you to yourself again.

There was something off about him, you could tell from the moment you saw him. You assumed he was tired, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe a good night’s rest will have him feeling better.

Maybe.


	3. What the Hell?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinda slow chapter, sorry bb's. But the ending is good <3

It was incredibly difficult to stay awake during potions class this morning. You regretted staying up so late the night before, but you were too anxious to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. Seeing Kylo look so burned out worried you. The look on his face kept replaying in your mind whenever you tried to close your eyes and sleep. 

Thankfully this year you had potions with the Hufflepuff's, which meant no distractions from any of the triplets. To be honest, you were thankful not to have it with the Gryffindor's or Slytherin's. Snape made it obvious that he favored the Slytherin's and you couldn't handle him bullying the Gryffindor's. It was nice to be a part of a neutral house, as well as sharing a class with another one. 

The ambiance of the potion's classroom made it even harder to stay awake. Snape's monotone voice made it hard to pay attention, and the room was so dark that it was perfect lighting for a quick nap. You focused just enough to write down a few notes, keeping you awake and seemingly attentive to the boring lecture. You looked to your right, seeing that Rey was just as bored as you were. She had her head rested in her hand, also trying her best to stay awake. Luna was sitting in front of the two of you, twirling her long blonde hair around her finger. 

Class ended, and you packed your things up quickly before making your way to the greenhouses for herbology. Even though you felt exhausted, you were excited for your favorite class. With Rey and Luna beside you, the three of you entered the main greenhouse, only to see that you'd be sharing the class with the Gryffindor's this year. You scanned the room for Kylo, noticing that he was not there yet. 

Neville came up beside you and gave you a small smile. "Hi, Neville" you said, placing your book bag down. It was no secret that the two of you were the best at herbology at Hogwarts. Professor Sprout had said more than once that she was saddened that neither one of you got sorted into Hufflepuff, and even though you were a proud Ravenclaw, you were secretly sad sometimes too. 

"Are you worried at all about OWL's this year?" Neville asked. "I've been studying a lot over the summer."

"I'm surprised you need to study for herbology." You replied. "It seems to be second nature for you, Neville." He smiled at your remark, but before he could reply Professor Sprout had entered and started talking to the class. 

You watched as Kylo entered the greenhouse quietly with class already a few minutes along. He crept towards the corner of the room, picking a seat next to Dean Thomas. Kylo looked just as tired as you were. There were dark circles under his eyes and his appearance seemed unkept. He looked up at you but you looked away. For some reason, making eye contact with him made you uncomfortable. 

You wished you had been in better spirits so that you could enjoy the first day of herbology, but it all seemed like a blur. You were thankful that it at least went by quickly, and Professor Sprout excused the class a bit early. 

"Thank god," Rey said as you trailed behind her out of the greenhouse, "I'm starving. We'll be the first ones in the Great Hall for lunch." She glanced back at you. "Is everything okay?" 

"I'm fine, just really exhausted." You admitted. "I think I'm going to skip lunch. I want to get some sleep before astronomy tonight." 

Rey nodded. "Then I'll see you at dinner? I'm going to practice after lunch. We have our first game coming up and I want to be as ready as I can be for it." 

"Yes, I'll see you later tonight." You replied. The two of you exchanged your goodbyes and you made your way up to Ravenclaw Tower for a well needed nap. 

-

Feeling rested from your nap and full from your late dinner, you started your way up to the Astronomy Tower. As you ascended the steps, you could hear all the other students struggle up the staircase behind you. It took only a few months over the summer for you to forget how much of a workout it was to climb the steps of this tower. You reached the top, trying your best to hide the fact that you were out of breath. 

Luna saw you enter the classroom and waved you over to the seat beside her. You smiled and took it, leaning back and trying to catch your breath. Professor Sinistra entered, passing out constellation charts soon after. She explained the assignment and then released the class to do their work. What you loved most about this class was that it was fairly independent. Each student sat apart from each other with their own telescope, looking out into the night sky. It was incredibly peaceful, and when working independently you were able to get things finished a lot quicker. 

An hour and a half passed by and you had finished your assignment. You tried to turn it in, but your Professor insisted you keep it to study until it's due date. You rolled it up and placed it into your bag before exiting the classroom. 

It was late and the castle was pretty empty. You occasionally saw a few students on their way back to their common rooms, but besides that you were alone. Walking past the library, you peeked through one of the windows and saw Matt studying by himself. You smiled, proud of him for being so studious. Before you could walk away, he looked up and saw you watching him. He quickly threw all his things together and stormed out of the library to greet you. 

"I missed you, I haven't seen you all day." He frowned, pulling you into a hug. 

You hugged him back and apologized for being so absent. 

"Walk with me back to my common room, please?" He asked. 

You internally groaned but felt bad for not seeing your best friend for the entire day. You nodded in agreement and the two of you made your way towards the Slytherin common room. 

The two of you caught up with each other's day, chatting about how classes were. Matt admitted to being nervous about the year, and you agreed. All fifth years felt a lot of pressure from all their professors. You had heard that the fifth year was the hardest, only because if you didn't do well enough on your OWL's, you couldn't pursue your chosen career. Matt wanted to be an Auror, and you could tell he was nervous about passing his OWL's by the way he talked about the new Defense Against the Dark Art's teacher. You felt bad for him, not only because being an Auror is a hard career to get into, but his favorite class had a hard time keeping one teacher for more than a year. Matt had gotten pretty attached to Remus Lupin, your third year teacher, and was heart broken when he had to leave. 

Reaching the entrance to the common room, Matt pulled you into a hug. As he suffocated you with his arms, you heard Matt say, "Kylo?" You quickly pushed him away and looked up to see Kylo exiting the Slytherin common room. "What are you doing over here?" Matt asked. 

Kylo just gave him a dirty look with no answer. He then looked at you for a moment before walking away. 

"What the hell?" Matt shouted at his brother, but he didn't turn around. The two of you watched as he disappeared down the hallway. 

You and Matt looked at each other in confusion. 

"Maybe he was visiting Poe." Matt said, and you shrugged. "Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow." Matt pulled you into one last hug before disappearing behind the common room door. 

You stood there in silence for a few moments, your mind racing with ideas as to why Kylo was hanging out in the Slytherin common room. You tried to shake the thoughts, but they followed you all the way back to your own common room, keeping you awake late into the night just as before.


	4. Astronomy Tower

The next few weeks went by quickly, especially with the ridiculous amount of homework your professors had been assigning all fifth years in preparation for OWL’s. You and Neville stood together in one of the greenhouses during a free period, repotting dittany plants for Professor Sprout in exchange for some herbs.

“Is Rey nervous for their first game today?” Neville asked, wiping his hair from his face and getting some dirt on his forehead.

“I don’t think so. She shouldn’t be, especially after all the practicing she’s been doing over the summer. I really think she might go on to play professionally.” You leaned up against one of the tables, taking one of your gloves off to scratch your eye.

November was finally here, which meant the start of quidditch season. You hadn’t seen Rey much over the last few weeks. She was busy either practicing with the team, trying to finish homework, or off somewhere in the castle working out.

“Have you been well?” He asked, stopping to turn and look at you.

Sighing, you nodded. “Yes, fifth year is just…overwhelming. I didn’t think we’d be this busy with homework and studying. I guess I always thought I could get by without having to put too much work into anything, but now I don’t think that’s going to cut it.” You admitted. 

“Hmm.” Neville nodded. “What about you and Kylo?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, knowing fully well Neville knew the two of you had yet to make any moves on each other. Out of all your friends, he was the only one you confided in regarding your crush. Neville was great at keeping secrets, proving so by keeping this very one for over five years now.

“It's the fifth year, come on. I really think you should do something about it. You guys are ridiculous, always dancing around the matter but nobody says anything.” He wasn’t wrong. Neville wasn’t stupid either. 

“I’m not sure. I don’t feel like it’s the right time yet.” You glanced up at Neville to see him giving you a look. “Hey! Don’t look at me like that.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He apologized.

“Besides-“ you paused for a moment before continuing. “He’s been acting differently ever since the start of the year.”

“Different?” Neville asked while taking off his gloves and placing them in his bag.

“Yeah, he’s acting strange. I thought I saw him coming from the Slytherin common room a few times-“ You started before Neville cut you off.

“I’m sure he’s just visiting his brother.”

“No, he’s not. One night, I walked Matt back down to the dungeons and as we were parting ways Kylo came out of the common room…” you trailed off, still wondering why Kylo would’ve been down there in the first place.

“Don’t think too much about it, everyone has friends in different houses.” Neville tried to reassure you, but it didn’t do much.

“Yeah, but who?” The two of you swung your bags over your shoulders, ready to depart to the Great Hall. 

“Come on, let’s get some dinner before the match.” Neville replied.

-

“Does this look alright?” Luna asked as she adjusted the giant, makeshift eagle hat that was sitting on top of her head. The eagle was painted bronze with wings outstretched to show blue feathers.

You glanced at your best friend. “Uh, yeah Lunes, it fits you.” You smiled as she shifted the hat once more while looking in the mirror.

“I could make you one, you know. It’s not too difficult.” She offered, looking you up and down in your casual clothes.

“I-err-that’s alright. I think it suits you best.” You imagined yourself wearing one similar and the two of you matching at every Ravenclaw game. You could already hear the relentless jokes that Matt and Ben would hock at you. It would be never ending.

“Well, let’s go then. The boys should be waiting for us over by the field.” Luna took one last look at her reflection before leading the way out the door, being careful to not knock her hat into the doorframe.

As the two of you passed through the common room, you were greeted by a large group of Ravenclaws dressed up in their house colors and chatting excitedly while they pre-gamed. A boy walked over to the two of you and offered you his flask, but you declined.

The two of you trekked down the long, spiral staircase of Ravenclaw tower and found an exit onto Hogwarts grounds. Students were already starting to fill the bleachers and you could see a group of boys across the way. Luna threw up a hand and waved at them before you headed over.

Ben, Matt, Kylo, Poe and Finn were awaiting the two of you, Matt pulling you into a hug as soon as you were within reach. “You smell like alcohol.” You grimaced as Matt released you, swaying a bit on his feet. “How drunk are you guys right now?” You raised an eyebrow to Poe, looking between him and Ben knowing full well they were intoxicated also.

“Drunk enough to pretend to care about a Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff quidditch game.” Ben replied, throwing his arm around your shoulder and resting his head on the top of yours.

“Hi Neville.” You heard Luna say. You tried to turn your head to get a look at your friend, but Ben still had you around his arm.

Neville, Harry, and Ron passed by, sending the group of you a wave. “Hermione in the library again?” You called, already knowing the answer as they responded with a ‘yes’.

“Let’s get going! Are we all going to squish together in the Ravenclaw section?” Finn asked. You looked over at him, realizing he had blue paint on his face.

Smiling to yourself, you listened as everyone agreed and made way into the stadium. Seated high amongst the sea of bronze and blue, the crowd cheered as Ravenclaw’s team flew through the sky during their entrance. You glanced over at Kylo, standing with the crowd as he looked disinterested.

Wishing he was next to you instead of Ben, you let out a loud sigh without realizing it. Ben looked over to you and gently squeezed your arm.

Ravenclaw scored and the crowd went wild, Luna’s hat sending off caw’s like a bird in celebration. “That’s so fucking cool!” Matt stammered, poking at her hat as he gazed in amazement while Luna tried to deflect his hands.

Ben, being just as drunk, pushed past you to get a better look at her hat. You watched as your poor friend stood uncomfortable, the boys stumbling around while they gawked.

“Bunch of idiots.” You heard someone mumble in your ear, and you turned to catch Kylo grinning at you. “Can’t believe I’m related to them.”

“Not just related, identical.” You laughed as Finn tried to protect Luna’s hat from being damaged by the two drunken imbeciles.

“I still like to think I’m the more attractive one.” Kylo shrugged and you nodded in agreement, quickly noticing and then turning slightly red.

The Hufflepuff side of the stadium burst into a cheer and the Ravenclaws around you groaned in unison. “Ravenclaw better win, I don’t want to deal with Rey if they lose.” 

Kylo hummed in agreement. You felt him move his hand across your own.. “Have you finished your star mapping that’s due in astronomy next week?” He asked, keeping his eyes on the game.

“I have a few more to record, but I’m almost done.” You responded, looking up at him. “Why?”

“I’m having a hard time finding a few constellations.” He admitted, taking in a deep sigh while continuing to look out at the field.

You stayed silent for a moment, wondering what he was getting at. “Did you need…help?” You finally asked, secretly hoping he’d say yes. The thought of you and him together at the top of the Astronomy Tower late at night and alone made your heart race.

“Are you offering?” Kylo smirked, finally looking down at you.

“Um, yeah. Sure. Tonight?” You asked, thankful that things were going the way you had wanted.

“Tonight.” Kylo agreed, turning back to the game as Ravenclaw scored again. “I’ll meet you up there at about midnight, sound good?” He asked over the loud cheering.

You smiled, feeling as if your heart was about to start beating out of your chest.

-

With your notes and book in hand, you made way through the halls of Hogwarts, aiming for the Astronomy Tower. Knowing Kylo was waiting for you at the top, you sucked in a breath before ascending the staircase, your heart racing with each step.You were surprised you had never been alone with just Kylo.

Reaching the top, you spotted Kylo already set up, standing with his back to you as he gazed out one of the large windows. The wooden floorboards creaked as you approached him, and he turned to give you a small smile.

“It’s beautiful up here, isn’t it?” He marveled, watching you place your things down next to his telescope.

“Yeah.” You agreed, slightly out of breath. It was odd to see him like this, almost as if he was giddy. “Do you come here often?” you wondered out loud.

“Sometimes.” He admitted, not revealing much else.

There was a small pause before you cleared your throat. “Well, um, what stars are you struggling to map? Can I see your chart?” You asked, stepping a bit away from him.

You watched as Kylo reached into his book bag, pulling out a sheet of parchment with his handwriting. Handing the paper to you, you brought it up close to your face, squinting as you tried to get a look at it through the darkness. You were mildly surprised by his handwriting; it was quite beautiful.

“You write in cursive?” you asked, handing him back his homework.

Kylo nodded. “Don’t act so surprised.”

Feeling yourself blush, you were thankful for the darkness of the room. “Sorry, I guess it was just a little unexpected…your brother’s handwriting is complete trash.” You laughed a little.

“Though we may look similar in appearance, I like to think I’m nothing like them.” Kylo said, moving closer. 

“Anyways, let’s have a look at how you’ve got your telescope set up. I know sometimes it can be hard to find Jupiter’s moons.” You found yourself babbling, going on as you tried to push away your attraction to the man you were spending time with in a secluded room.

You peered through the telescope, adjusting it as you looked out into the night sky. You felt something brush up against your side, jumping to look. “Oh.” You felt flustered, finding Kylo at your side now as he watched your every move.

“Sorry, I was just trying to get a look at your adjustments.” He apologized, but didn’t move away.

“It’s…alright.” You continued. “Uh, so you were looking a little off, not at the direct angle that Professor Sinistra had written in the instructions. That’s alright though, it happens sometimes.” You turned to look at him. “Want to take a look?”

He nodded in response and you took a step to the side. You watched as the tall man hunched over, gripping the cold metal of the device. “Brilliant…” he muttered under his breath before turning to you. “No wonder you’re in Ravenclaw.”

Laughing, you shrugged. “I’m glad I could help.”

Kylo took a step towards you, getting rid of the small gap between the two of you. He set his hands on your arms, rubbing them slightly as he looked down at you. “You feel cold.” He stated, letting his fingers trace along your skin.

The sensation gave you goosebumps, subconsciously leaning into his touch. He was right, you were cold. Gazing up into his eyes, you nodded.

He started to lean into you, letting his head down to meet yours. Knowing what was about to happen, you looked up, letting your lips reach his own. Kylo wrapped his large arms around you, pulling you closer as he kissed you. Falling into his touch, you cupped his face with your hands and kissed him back deeply.

Moments passed as you stood in the middle of the Astronomy Tower, the stars shining around you as the two of you were in an embrace. Kylo finally broke the kiss, looking down at you as you subconsciously licked your lips.

He couldn’t believe he had finally done it, and it was just as he had always imagined it to be. You took a step back, wiping your mouth before you started to feel a little frantic. “I’ve got to get to bed.” You said on the spot. “I’m sorry..” you trailed off. “Please don’t tell Matt or Ben.”

You started to pick your things up quickly. Why were you so anxious? Wasn’t this what you wanted? Did Kylo have feelings for you or did he think you were an easy fuck? 

“I’ll see you in class.” You mumbled before descending the steps of the tower, heart beating heavily as you left Kylo alone.


	5. Colovaria

The next few weeks flew by quickly, and you weren’t sure whether it was due to the homework overload of fifth year or something else. You and Kylo hadn’t talked much since the night he kissed you, and you were starting to think that this was something kept between only the two of you.

You were waiting for someone to bring it up, for Matt or Ben to make fun of you, or Rey to scold you for kissing her cousin. But so far, nobody said anything. Everyone seemed too busy anyways; Rey with quidditch, Matt and Ben with their studies, and of course you and your own.

Sitting in the Great Hall for breakfast, you gazed in the direction of the Gryffindor table, staring holes into Kylo’s back. You wanted to talk to him, but you still couldn’t forgive yourself for storming out on him so suddenly. It had made things awkward, especially when time was spent with friends. You and Kylo would both avoid making eye contact, nodding hellos to each other when spotted in the halls, and that was about it.

Things at Hogwarts were starting to get weird, too. All your friends had been so up in arms over Professor Umbridge and her aggressive rules that she was starting to issue throughout the school. It almost seemed like Dumbledore wasn’t Headmaster anymore.

Heavy stomps could be heard towards the entrance of the Hall and you looked up to see Ben looking frustrated with shoulders hunched as he walked in, pushing up a pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose.

_ Wait…glasses? _

You did a double take, raising an eyebrow while watching the man walk over to the Gryffindor table, now shouting at…Ben and Kylo?

“Matt?” You asked, standing from the Ravenclaw table and walking over to the three boys, noticing that the one with glasses had Slytherin robes on.

“WHO THE HELL DID THIS TO ME?!” He screamed into the face of his brother Ben, the whole Hall going silent as they turned to look.

Ben couldn’t contain his laughter, doubled over as Kylo shook his head. You heard more laughing behind you and turned to see Poe Dameron clutching his stomach while giggling.

“WAS IT YOU?” Matt bellowed, pointing a finger across the Hall at Poe. He grabbed Ben by the robes, shaking him furiously. “DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?”

You watched as one of the Weasley twins high-fived Poe, Matt too distracted by anger to notice. “Matt…” you trailed off, trying to get your best friend’s attention.

“WHAT?!” He yelled again, snapping his head in your direction, causing his glasses to come askew.

Biting your lip to avoid laughing, you took a deep breath. “We can fix it, you don’t need to be so angry…”

“Yes, I think I can help with this one.” Hermione stood up from the table, giving you a nod.

“Matt, let go of Ben. Come on.” You coaxed him like a child, holding your hand out.

With a groan, Matt shoved Ben back into his brother, snarling a string of curse words before taking your hand and following you and Hermione out of the Great Hall. You glanced back to see Kylo watching, the two of you making eye contact before he quickly looked away.

“I can’t fucking believe they did this to me! How the fuck?” He asked, waving his hands around his now black hair.

A bell rang, signifying the start of class but you continued to follow Hermione down the hall and towards the lavatory. You glanced up at Matt and smiled, listening to him go on about his black hair.

“What’s so fucking funny?” He snapped, looking down at you.

“I think I like you better with blonde hair, truthfully. I’ve imagined you with black but now that I see it…you’re definitely a blonde.” You smirked, watching him grow more frustrated.

“WHY DO YOU THINK I’M SO UPSET ABOUT THIS?!” He yelled as you entered the bathroom. “And why the hell are you bringing me in here?”

“Come, Matt. This will be fast.” Hermione spoke as she pulled her wand from her pocket. “I don’t want Umbridge or any of her little hall monitors seeing me use magic outside of class.”

“Yeah, her and her bullshit rules.” Matt said, crossing his arms and letting out a breath.

“I know, Harry, Ronald and I are worried that there is something more to this. We need to be able to protect ourselves from whatever it could be, and we won’t be able to if we aren’t allowed to use magic in school.” She pointed her wand at Matt’s hair. “ _ Colovaria _ .”

You watched as Matt’s hair turned blonde within seconds, smiling as he checked himself out in the mirror. “Much better.” He huffed. “Thanks, Hermione.”

“Don’t mention it.” She smiled, leading the way out. “We should get to class before anyone sees us-“

Armitage Hux rounded the corner, raising his eyebrows up at the three of you. “Skipping class, are we?” He asked with a crooked smile. “Would be a shame if I somehow mentioned that to someone…”

“Would be a shame if I punched you in the face and broke your nose right now…” Matt mocked, clenching his fists in anger.

“Is that a threat?” Hux asked, taking a step forward.

“I think you already know the answer to that.” Matt took the next step, inching closer to the ginger.

“Matt.” You pulled on the back of his robes. “Come on, let’s get to class.”

“Yes Matt, let’s get to class.” Hux sang, making Matt roll his eyes heavily in his direction.

“You’re lucky,  _ Armitage _ .” Matt spit through his teeth as you lead him down the hallway. “Fuckin’ prick,” Matt mumbled, and you let out a giggle. “I hate that guy, and I hate that we’re in the same house.”

“Oh Matty, must you always be filled with so much rage?” You asked, looping your arm in his.

“Don’t call me that.” He grumbled as the two of you followed Hermione through the halls.

“Oh, shut up, you know you love it.” You heard Hermione call from the front, making Matt blush.

“NO!” He defended.

You stopped, letting go of Matt’s arm and started to walk in the direction of the dungeons. “I’ll see you later, I got to get over to first.”

“We’ve got a History of Magic with Slytherin, let’s go Matt. Hopefully Professor Binn’s won’t be too upset about our tardiness.” Hermione chimed, waving a goodbye to you.

“See you at lunch!” Matt yelled across the way, and you laughed, throwing up a hand of good bye as you disappeared from view.

-

Sitting in your regular spot in the library, you were snuggled up against Matt’s side as the two of you were nose deep in books. Luna sat across from you, subconsciously braiding a piece of hair while she studied notes and Rey had her feet up against the table while she wrote an essay with a book sitting on her lap.

Hearing light footsteps approaching, you looked up to see Hermione Granger. Everyone shifted in their seats, mumbling hello’s to her as she took the place next to you and sat down with a huff. Everyone leaned in towards her, clearly seeing that something was off.

“What’s wrong, Hermione?” Matt asked, taking his glasses off to rub his eyes and yawn.

“Umbridge. I can’t stand that woman. I feel like a prisoner in this castle.” She sighed, leaning back against the wall.

“Right? This is bullshit.” Rey slammed her hands on her book. “DADA is my favorite class, and now we can’t even use magic? How does that even make sense?”

“I feel like it’s going to keep getting worse.” You said.

“It is. And it will.” Hermione reassured you, bringing a finger up to her lips and subconsciously tapping it. “Harry has an idea but…we’re not entirely sure. It hasn’t been all figured out yet.”

“An idea?” Luna asked, leaning in towards the conversation.

Hermione lowered her voice. “Yes. He’s thinking maybe we could have secret meetings where we could practice defensive spells without getting caught. We aren’t sure about it, nor if anyone would want to-“

Matt cut her off quickly. “I’m in. Just tell me where and when.”

Everyone nodded in agreement, but Hermione shook her head. “We still aren’t entirely sure how to go about it. Or where we could even do it.”

“What about the Room of Requirement?” Luna hummed while twirling her hair.

“The Room of Requirement?” Matt asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “What the hell is that?”

“A magical room in Hogwarts, it only appears to those who are in need…” Hermione pondered for a moment before continuing. “You’re right, Luna. That could actually work!” You saw light flash through Hermione’s eyes. “I need to go tell Harry at once!” She stood quickly. “You guys should get going to your dorms, anyways. It’s getting late and I’m sure Umbridge’s select few are already wandering the halls.”

You nodded in agreement. Grabbing your things, all of you packed away your study session and followed her out the library. You gave Hermione and Matt a hug before parting ways with Luna and Rey to the Ravenclaw Tower.

“Are you guys seriously considering sneaking around school and letting Harry teach us defensive spells?” You asked as the three of your footsteps echoed through the empty halls.

“Yes?” Rey answered, raising an eyebrow. “Aren’t you?”

“Of course. I just can’t tell if Hermione is being serious or not. We could get in a lot of trouble if anyone found out.” 

“Harry is a smart man, he’s fought You Know Who before. I’d rather learn defensive spells from him than Umbridge.” Luna admitted, her voice kept low as you continued through the corridor.

“I’m down for it, regardless of what could happen. My dad wouldn’t care anyways, he would be proud of me for wanting to learn. I told him what’s been going on over here and he doesn’t like it. The Ministry is trying so hard to hide something from all of us, but they’ll realize soon enough we’re not idiots.” Rey said.

Giving a hum of agreement, you followed your two best friends up the spiral staircase to your common room. Your mind was a cloud of thoughts, everything from OWL’s to Kylo. You still didn’t know why you ran out on him like that and were secretly wishing you could have a second chance.

But, second chances are hard to come by. And who knows, maybe you already blew it.


	6. Mandragora

The following week was spent much similar to the one before; loads of studying and awkward interactions with Kylo. Ever since the idea had come up, nobody had mentioned the Room of Requirement or practicing defensive spells.

Sitting on top of your blankets with your head rested on pillows, you read over notes for Charms class. Rey burst in through the door, startling you. She looked flustered as she started to throw her clothing around.

“Uh…” you watched her as she tore her part of the room apart.

“I can’t find my bloody jersey!” Rey snapped, getting on her hands and knees to look underneath her bed. “Merlin-“ She reached underneath, pulling out the blue and bronze uniform top and clenching it in her fist. “Gotcha!”

You watched as she pulled it over her head, shaking her hair out and throwing it up in a bun. “Are you coming tonight?” She asked, turning to look at herself in the mirror.

Glancing out the window, you watched as rain started to drizzle. “I need to study for this exam, Rey. But I’ll see you tonight?” You hoped she’d be understanding.

“Slytherin is gonna eat shit tonight.” She spoke while adjusting her hair a few times. “Are you going to that party tonight?” Rey turned to look at you, inching towards the door.

“Party?” 

“Yeah, Gryffindor common room. It’s after tonight’s game. Didn’t Ben tell you? Or Kylo?” She tilted her head at you.

“I haven’t really seen anyone today, I’ve been cooped up in here.” You waved your arms around the mess of books and notes on your bed.

“Got it, well when you’re done being a stereotypical Ravenclaw, come have some fun.” She winked before leaving you alone with your books.

-

Standing in front of the mirror, you tilted your head as you took one more look at yourself before heading for the Gryffindor common room. The game had ended over an hour ago, and since Rey hadn’t stopped by to change, you assumed her and Luna were already at the party, celebrating a victory for Ravenclaw with your fellow Gryffindor friends.

The halls weren’t empty but instead filled with upset looking Slytherins, making you even further assume that Ravenclaw was victorious. You climbed up the moving staircase, careful to not teeter as it moved you up towards the portrait of the Fat Lady. Wondering how you’d be getting inside, you looked around nervously for a familiar face.

Spotting Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas a few floors down from you, you waited patiently by the painting for them to catch up.

“Oi!” You heard Seamus call to you with a wave.

You threw your hand up at him, smiling as they came closer. “Help me.” You laughed as Dean pulled you into a hug.

“Mandragora.” Sean said to the Fat Lady, and she nodded before revealing a secret entrance to the Gryffindor common room.

You couldn’t believe how much noise she contained from behind her. The moment you stepped through the threshold you were bombarded by heavy bass while countless bodies danced around you.

Trying to get a better look of the room, you moved to the side, sneaking behind Dean and Seamus as they made way towards Finn and Poe who were in conversation. You watched as Seamus pulled a flask from his robes, offering it to his friends.

Standing by the boys, you scanned the room for more familiar faces. You saw Harry laughing as Ron drunkenly danced around to the music and Hermione clapping her hands to the beat, Neville off in a corner talking to Ginny, and Rey in the heart of it all, still in her Quidditch uniform as she shook her hair out while dancing.

Feeling a tap on your shoulder, you turned to see Seamus now offering you a drink and you agreed, taking a swig for yourself. Before you could hand Seamus back his flask, someone was wrapping their sweaty arms around you, pulling your head into their shirtless chest and lifting you into the wall.

Screaming out of pure reaction, you pushed away until you were able to get a glance at who was touching you; Matt Solo.

“I’m so happy you’re here!” He yelled over the music, still keeping you close to his body as you tried to push him away.

“Get off me, you’re disgusting!” You shoved Matt, taking note of how drunk he was. He looked at you and made puppy-dog eyes. “How much have you had to drink?” You asked, not sure if you wanted to know the answer.

“I couldn’t tell ya! I started drinking before the game and…yeah lost count!” You watched as he tried to add up his drinks in his mind. “Come dance with me!” He grabbed your hand and started to pull you towards the moving bodies, but you resisted.

“I don’t know…” you trailed off, glancing around to see if you could spot Kylo anywhere.

“Don’t be stupid, come on!” Matt tugged you again, and this time you complied, following him out to the crowd.

Matt led the way, pushing past people until you were in the middle of it all. You saw Luna to the right of you, dancing with her hands up in the air while Fred Weasley mimicked her, enjoying himself with a smile painted across his face.

Feeling someone grab your arm, you turned to see Rey as she pulled you into a hug and shouted something you couldn’t hear into your ear. She grabbed you by the neck and kissed you on the lips, and you listened to some idiot whistle at the two of you from somewhere in the crowd.

Rey gave you one last smile before turning towards Finn and pulling him close to her, wrapping her arms around his neck and dancing to the beat of the music in unison. You felt someone press up against you and start dancing, so you pushed your body back into theirs and moved with them.

Judging by the build of the person behind you, you assumed it was Matt. Rolling your hips back and forth, you threw one of your hands up and felt him slide his hand down your waist, grabbing onto your hip and pulling you even closer to his body so that he could grind up against you.

Taken aback by the contact, you ignored it and continued to dance as he started to move his hands up and down your sides, moving them towards the front of your thighs and thrusting his hips into you. You turned your head slightly and felt him run his hand over your neck.

Wondering what the hell was wrong with him, you turned your body and stepped back in surprise to see Ben behind you with a goofy look on his face. Before you could say anything, he was taking hold of your face in his large hands and leaning down to place his lips heavily onto your own.

You kissed him back for a moment, letting him almost knock you over with the force of the kiss. Ben ran his hand down towards your ass and cupped it in his hand and gave it a hard squeeze. Time felt as if it was at a stand-still until someone was grabbing Ben by the back of his shirt and throwing him backwards.

“What the fu-“ Ben shouted, but before he could finish, a fist was being thrown towards his face.

“Kylo!” You yelled, catching his attention. He locked eyes with you and fire seemed to be seeping from his skin as he heaved in heavy breaths.

Ben shoved Kylo back, throwing him into a few bystanders. Kylo regained his balance and took another swing at Ben, this time knocking him in the eye and throwing him back. People gasped and you called after Kylo as he started pushing his way through the crowd.

You watched as Ben stood to his feet, a few girls running to his aid to check on his eye, eyebrow now split open and bleeding. Without thinking, you ran towards the direction you saw Kylo leave in, parting through the sea of people and catching a glimpse of him disappear out the way you had come in.

Kylo was standing against the railing of the staircase, pushing hair out of his face as he caught his breath from the adrenaline rush. Approaching him slowly, you tried to catch his eye but he wouldn’t look at you. Standing there in the silence of the castle, you almost forgot that there were hundreds of paintings surrounding the two of you, mostly all asleep with the few still awake paying no mind to what was going on around them.

“Why did you do that?” You asked, breaking the silence.

Kylo ignored you, now turning his back to you as he attempted to look anywhere but at you. Feeling frustrated, you stood beside him, pushing him lightly with your hand. “What’s wrong with you?” You looked up at him as he bit at his cheek.

“I like you, okay?!” He bellowed, waking up a few of the sleeping portraits.

You listened to them ‘shh’ him before Kylo turned on his heel and stormed off, leaving you alone with the moving staircases.


	7. Sweetheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my bb, Xo. Thanks for helping me be a better writer <3

Snow was falling heavily outside the castle this morning, the chill matching the mood you had found yourself in over the last few days. The last week has been more than uncomfortable for you. You hadn’t talked to Kylo since the night he confessed feelings for you, nor had you had any sort of communication with Ben.

It was easy to tell that Ben and Kylo were still not talking. You noticed Ben’s black eye was finally starting to go away when you glanced at him across the Hall. He was sitting among Fred and George Weasley while Kylo kept his distance with Neville and Dean.

Poking at your food, you let the voices of everyone around you eventually start to fade out. Luna and Rey were beside you, but it felt like they were miles away. The only thing that brought you back down to earth was the soft touch of someone resting their hand on your shoulder.

Looking up, you met the gaze of Matt and gave him a small smile. He wasn’t stupid, Matt could tell you were upset. This past week had been spent with him by your side; walking you to class, sitting by you during meals, and checking on you periodically throughout the day.

News spread fast at Hogwarts, so you, Ben, and Kylo had been the talk of the castle. It was weird walking past groups of girls and hearing them whisper about you. You wondered what people said about you or what they thought, but Matt was constantly telling you to ignore it.

Taking Matt’s hand, you stood from the table and walked with him through the halls towards the charms classroom. Kylo watched in irritation as you held hands with Matt, holding tightly as if he was your protector. He felt his stomach start to twist and turn. Not only had you kissed Ben and Kylo, but were you a thing with Matt now too? He tried to shake his thoughts from his mind. There was no way, right? You and Matt had always been friends, nothing more than that.

Class was going by painfully slow. Zoning out, you rested your head on your desk as Professor Fltwick went over something you had learned in your third year. Wanting to get up and stretch your legs, you excused yourself to the bathroom and slipped out of class.

Wandering the halls, you made way towards the nearest lavatory. Listening to your shoes clack against the hard floors of the castle, you subconsciously cracked your knuckles. For a moment you thought you heard somebody approaching from the other end of the hall. You stopped for a second to see if you could catch a glimpse of them before passing down the hall.

It was Ben.

He didn’t see you yet, though. He was so far down the corridor that even you were surprised you could recognize him. Curious as to what he was doing, you decided to follow in the direction he had disappeared to. Poking your head around the corner, you saw him slip into a broom closet.

Raising an eyebrow, you approached the door, pressing an ear up to the wooden surface and attempting to hear something. The sound of fumbling followed by the striking of a match caught your attention. You swung the door open suddenly, scaring the shit out of Ben and causing him to drop the just lit joint he had in his mouth onto the floor.

“Merlin!” He breathed heavily as you closed the door behind you. “Don’t sneak up on me like that, I thought you were one of Umbridge’s  _ select few _ .” You watched him bend over to pick up the joint, placing it between his lips and taking a long drag.

“When did you start sneaking out of class to smoke pot in broom closets?” You asked with raised eyebrows as he offered you the marijuana, but you declined.

“I’m bored, I don’t need to be in class anyways.” He shrugged, taking another drag and exhaled it close to your face. “Why did you follow me into a broom closet? Come back for seconds?” He asked, leaning up against the wall and distancing himself slightly from you.

“You’re the reason I haven’t talked to Kylo in over a week.” You huffed, crossing your arms at him.

“You’re the reason I have this black eye!” Ben motioned to his face dramatically. “I didn’t know kissing you would guarantee a punch to the face from my own fucking brother. And for your information, I haven’t talked to him in a week either.”

“Why did you even do it?” You asked, stepping towards Ben as he continued to lean up against the wall, taking drags of his spliff.

“Kiss you? Why not? You weren’t innocent either, the way you were grinding against me, I know you felt my…” He looked down towards his pants and you made a disgusted noise.

“I thought you were Matt!”

“Oh, okay so if it’s Matt it’s alright to grind your ass up against his dick but if it’s me, then it’s a problem?” Ben rolled his eyes at you.

“Yes, it’s a problem! Matt would never kiss me, or even try to pull any sort of move!” You raised your voice as Ben scoffed.

“Trust me, Matt would make a move…” Ben mumbled, and you raised an eyebrow to him.

“What the hell are you talking about?” You felt your face start to flush with anger. “Matt has respect and boundaries, unlike you,  _ Solo _ .”

“He’s a man, just as I am.” Ben stood confidently, taking one last drag of the joint. “If the opportunity ever came, he would take it.” He took a step towards you, but you didn’t feel intimidated. “You’re beautiful, really. I’ve always thought that, and I’ve always wanted to know” He placed his thumb on your jaw line and stoked it lightly before pulling away. “what you taste like. And I had the opportunity, and I took it. And you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like it, you know how I know that?”

You felt limp at his touch, wanting to lean into him but also knowing you should keep distance. “How?” You asked with attitude, pulling your face away from his touch.

“Because, sweetheart, if you didn’t like it you would have pulled away. But, you didn’t. In fact, the only reason we stopped kissing was because my dumbass brother ripped me off of you.” Ben said with a smirk, and before you could answer, he left you alone in the closet.

**-**

You had decided to take a nap after dinner since this would be your first evening meeting with Harry and everyone else in the Room of Requirement. The name for the group had been decided, “Dumbledore’s Army”. It made you feel like you were preparing to go into battle. 

Since everything had to be kept a secret, Harry told everyone to meet around 9pm. Sneaking around the castle was much more difficult now that Umbridge had students patrolling the grounds for her. 

Luna and Rey were ready to leave, waiting for you as you got some things together. The three of you descended the steps of Ravenclaw Tower together, making sure to be extra quiet. You were unsure of how to get to the Room of Requirement, but were thankful that at least Luna knew how. 

Luna stopped in front of a blank wall, and walked back and forth quietly. You looked at Rey but didn’t say anything, the two of you both confused by what she was doing. 

Out of nowhere, a giant brown door began to form across the bare wall. Luna stopped pacing and turned to the two of you and smiled. “Here we are.” She opened the door and all three of you stepped into a giant room with white walls, a fireplace, and many other Hogwarts students. 

You looked around, noticing that most students were in Gryffindor robes. You saw a few Hufflepuff’s and Ravenclaw’s, and only two Slytherin’s; Matt and Poe. It felt glorious. Seeing so many smiling faces, chatting amongst themselves and casting playful spells. You noticed Ben goofing around with Fred and George Weasley, and before you could look around for Kylo, Matt Solo was swooping you into a hug. 

“Good to see you.” you said once Matt released you. 

“I cannot wait to fuck around with some spells, it’s been way too long since I’ve gotten to use my poor baby.” He said, looking down at his wand. 

Before you could respond, Harry had started to address the group. He told you that today you’d all be practicing some stunning spells. 

Hermione and Ron were up first. You assumed it was because they had used the spell before. All the boys stood at one end of the room behind Ron, while all the girl’s stood on the other behind Hermione. 

Before Ron could even get a sound out, Hermione was already sending him flying back with her spell. Everyone watched as Ron fell on his back, the boys laughing while the girls cheered Hermione on. 

After that, everyone went two by two to practice their spells. You watched as Fred and George both unleashed the stupefy spell on each other at the same time, making them both go flying backwards. 

Laughing along with everyone else, you heard Harry say you were up next. You stood ready, wondering who you’d be going up against. 

“Ben, get up there.” Harry said, and you felt your palms start to get sweaty. 

You watched as the tall boy got in position, directly across the room from you. You could hear the girls behind you whispering words of encouragement. You definitely heard Rey say “Knock him on his ass for me.” and you tried to hold back a smile. 

This could be payback. 

You heard Harry say “Go!” and without a second thought, you were shouting “Stupefy!” and watched with pleasure as Ben fell back a few feet. 

Everyone laughed as Ben complained, taking Dean’s hand as he lifted him up. “I let them do that, it wouldn’t have been very gentlemen-like of me not to.” he tried to defend. 

“Sure…” you heard Poe laugh. 

You couldn’t help but be proud of yourself. It did indeed feel good to knock Ben on his ass. 

The rest of the time was spent practicing the same spell over and over. Even though it was repetitive, Harry somehow made it incredibly fun. After two hours had passed, Harry said some final words before everyone started to head back to their common rooms. 

Cho Chang and one of her friends walked ahead of you, Luna, and Rey. You had been happy to see her there. Cho had always been so friendly to you, and was the first Ravenclaw to welcome you after being sorted. 

“I’ve got a good feeling about this.” You said to your friends. 

“It feels so good to be able to use our wands again.” Rey said, and Luna nodded in agreement. 

“Isn’t it swell being able to play nice with all your friends?” you heard a male voice say behind you, and the three of you jumped. 

Ben Solo started to walk along-side the group of you, wrapping one arm around Rey. She shoved him off with a look of disgust. 

“You’ve got a fast hand on your wand, I was impressed.” Ben said directly to you. You were waiting for him to make his statement into a dirty joke, but before he had the chance, someone was turning the corner on the group of you. 

Cho and her friend stopped in their tracks, and the four of you followed. Draco Malfoy and Armitage Hux stood before you with smirks on their faces. 

“A little late to be out, isn’t it?” Draco asked. 

“I do believe so.” Hux replied. 

“What are you doing running around the castle together late at night?” Ben asked. “Having a gay affair?” 

The two Slytherins glared at him. 

“You know exactly why we are out here, Solo.” Draco sneered. “I could get all of you in a lot of trouble.” 

“Calm down, Draco. We were just studying and lost track of time.” Rey said, coming up with the lie on the spot. “My stupid cousin here was just walking us back to Ravenclaw Tower. You know, to protect us from you creepy idiots wandering the halls.” 

Ben puffed out his chest. “I am a protector of women.” He said. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Rey said, and without looking at him slapped his shoulder. 

“Sure, we’ll let it slide this time. But I hope you know, the next time I catch any of you in these halls past 9pm, it will be an absolute pleasure reporting you to Professor Umbridge.” Hux said. 

“Who gives a shit? It’s not like she’s in charge of this place.” You replied. 

“Oh, I think you’d be surprised, sweetheart.” Draco said, taking a few steps closer to you. 

Ben got defensive, stepping in front of you. “Fuck off, Malfoy. Let me walk them to their common room and we’ll be on our way.” He pushed past him, and the three of you followed. 

Once you were all out of earshot, the group of you let out a sigh of relief. 

“Quick thinking, Rey.” Cho said, and Rey gave her a nod. 

You looked up at Ben and whispered a “thank you”. He smiled and replied, “anything for you” and gave you a wink. 

Though you were upset with Ben, it was hard to stay mad. He had charm, you couldn’t deny that, which was probably why almost every girl at Hogwarts has had a crush on him at some point. 

Ben stopped at the steps of Ravenclaw Tower and wished the five of you a good night and headed towards the Gryffindor common room. As you ascended the stairs, you started to wonder what Ben’s intentions with you were. 

Was this just for fun or did he have feelings for you?


	8. Not Entirely

Dumbledore’s Army met two times a week every week. Tonight was going to be your fourth week participating, and you found yourself looking forward to it. Not only did you get to physically practice spells, but you also got to see all your friends. 

Except for Kylo. 

He had been absent more than ever. At meals you would look for him along the Gryffindor table but he wasn’t there. He wouldn’t look at you during your shared classes, and you had yet to see him in the halls at night. 

It hurt. You blamed yourself for his absence. It had been so long since Ben kissed you and Kylo admitted his feelings for you. It was your fault for not talking to him sooner. If you ever had a chance, you thought you had definitely missed it by now. 

Rey and Luna had been off somewhere doing their own thing, so you walked to the Room of Requirement yourself this evening. The castle was peaceful at night and you enjoyed the walk. You turned a corner only to almost run into someone. 

Quickly stepping out of their way to avoid collision, you looked up to see Kylo Organa looking down at you. 

“Kylo.” you said without thinking. 

He just looked at you with no response. 

“I’m sorry,” you started, but Kylo cut you off. 

“What are you doing walking around the castle by yourself at night?” 

“I-uh, what?” You were caught off guard. 

“Umbridge is cracking down on her rules, you should be more careful. Go back to your dorm.” He said. 

“Umbridge can kiss my a-” you were cut off again. 

“Umbridge can do whatever she wants. Be smarter, you are in Ravenclaw aren’t you?” 

“What are you talking about?” you said. “And last time I checked, Umbridge didn’t run Hogwarts. Why are you being so rude to me?”

“Just go back to your dorm. Please.” Kylo said. 

“No, I’m busy.” You replied, moving past him. 

He grabbed you by the wrist and pushed you up against the wall. 

“You’re not going to the same thing my stupid brothers have been going to, are you?” He asked. He was so close to your face. The last time he was this close, the two of you ended up making out. 

“Why does it matter?” 

“Because, if you or any of those other idiots get caught, you’ll get in a lot more trouble than you think.” Kylo replied. “Please just listen to me and go back to your dorm.”

You shoved him away from you. “No.” You continued to walk down the hall, this time without him following. “You can sit and watch Hogwarts fall apart. I’m not going to.” 

Kylo didn’t bother responding. He had missed you so much and regretted this being your first interaction in weeks. He was upset that his brothers hadn’t said anything to you, and that they were spending extra time with you that he didn’t get. He let out a low huff when you rounded the corner, feeling like an idiot for how he talked to you.

-

When you entered the Room of Requirement, something felt off. You could tell that Harry was worried about something. He asked all of you to practice your patronus’ as you had the previous time you were all together. 

Instead of interacting with all of you like he usually did, Harry stayed in the corner of the room whispering to Hermione.

“Something feels off.” Rey whispered to you and Luna. 

You shook your head in agreement. You watched from across the room as Finn cast a patronus. A giant, white bear appeared from his wand and started to run about the room. It collided into Matt, causing him to fall over as the bear dispersed. 

“We should probably practice, shouldn’t we?” Luna asked. “Do you have any happy memories in mind?” She looked to you. 

“Uh, sure. Yeah, let me think.” You stood for a moment, thinking back to a memory when you were younger. Maybe the thought of the first time your father gifted you a plant could produce a patronus. You steadied yourself and said the spell with confidence. 

The three of you watched as the tip of your wand lit up and then faded. You sighed, feeling frustrated. Rey moved closer to you and whispered, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. Something does feel off, you’re right. I was hoping that I was just imagining things, but since you’ve brought it up I’m a little nervous.” You admitted. 

“What’s going on?” Luna asked. “Did something happen?”

You paused before saying anything. You looked around the room to make sure no one was listening to your conversation. “I ran into Kylo on the way here. He seemed pretty upset that I was coming here today.” 

“Everything makes Kylo upset.” Rey said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah, but I felt like he was warning me.” You replied. “He said that if we get caught that we’ll get in more trouble than we think. I’m just confused. I don’t understand why, but it seems like he’s almost on Umbridge’s side.”

“That’s doubtful.” Rey responded quickly. 

“Not entirely.” You said. “He’s been acting weird lately. I don’t know exactly what he’s doing, but I think he’s been spending time with Slytherins.”

“There isn’t anything wrong with having friends in other houses.” Luna said. “You have friends in Slytherin.” She looked over to Matt and Poe laughing while Poe’s coyote patronus circled his feet.

“I don’t think that’s who he’s been spending his time with.” You said. “I’m just uneasy about it all.”

Before either of your friends could respond, Harry spoke to get everyone’s attention. The group came together, sort of like a huddle, and stood in a half circle in front of Harry. He looked to Hermione for support, and she nodded. 

“Dumbledore’s gone-” he started but was cut off when everyone gasped. “I know. I don’t know what this means for us, but I definitely know it means that we have to keep doing what we’re doing. Clearly something is going on, and I want all of you to be able to protect yourselves.” 

“Where did he go?” Finn asked. 

“I don’t know. What I do know is that Umbridge has clearly wanted control of Hogwarts since she started working here, and the Ministry of Magic has her back. We can’t trust anyone right now.” Harry said. “We will still be meeting twice a week, I just need all of you to be more careful about walking around the halls at night. Avoid anyone you see in Slytherin robes...besides Matt and Poe.”

Matt and Poe both nodded. 

“I don’t know why, but she has a lot of Slytherins patrolling for her. Make sure you guys keep quiet about what we are doing in here too. No telling friends, and no talking about it to each other outside of this room. Even if you think no one is around to hear.” Harry continued. 

Everyone nodded in agreement.

“Great, I’ll see you all in a couple days.” and he dismissed the lot of you.

In  small groups every few minutes, people left. You, Rey, Luna, Cho, and her friend, Jael, all left together for the Ravenclaw dorms. You walked together in silence, all five of you lost in your own thoughts.

What Harry said was a little scary. Hogwarts was changing and you no longer felt safe in your second home. Even the halls felt darker than usual. Most of the portraits seemed to be hiding in their own paintings. Was what Harry said what Kylo was trying to warn you about?

You felt someone grab your hand. Rey gave it a squeeze. You smiled at her, but it felt forced. You didn’t feel secure anymore. You watched as Cho and Jael linked arms, guessing that they also felt uneasy. You wanted to speak to your friends, but were nervous to be heard by anyone patrolling the castle. 

“Everything will be okay.” Luna said softly. 

You wanted to believe her. Her voice was so soothing, but it couldn’t cut through your anxiety. Cho and Jael must have heard Luna. They both turned to look at her. You could see in their eyes that they wanted to believe everything would be okay too. 

You really hoped she was right. 


	9. I Missed You

Your eyes were closed. Someone was wrapping their arms around your waist and pulling you close to them. You rested your head on their chest with your eyes still closed. “I missed you.” they said. It was Kylo. You didn’t even have to open your eyes to know. 

“I missed you too.” you replied. You opened your eyes and looked up at him. You felt a wave of heat flash through your body. It wasn’t Kylo, it was Ben. 

You closed your eyes again, and then opened them. You were in the library. You had been dreaming. “Shit.” you thought to yourself, looking for a clock so you could see what time it was. 

It was midnight. 

Merlin, how did you manage to pass out without Professor Pince saying anything? She must have not noticed. You were tucked towards the far corner of the library. 

You gathered your things and prayed that you wouldn’t have any run-ins with Umbridge’s select few. The castle was still, even the portraits were sleeping. You made sure you were walking with light feet so that your footsteps wouldn’t echo in the empty halls. 

You rounded a corner and saw someone further ahead of you, walking in the same direction. They were short with black hair and you immediately knew who it was. Not knowing how to get their attention, you started to walk quicker in their direction. The person turned around to face you once you were only about seven feet away. 

Harry Potter. 

You didn’t want to speak until you were close. Thankfully he was polite and waited for you to join him. “What are you doing out so late?” You asked in a whisper as the two of you walked together. 

Harry paused before responding. “I’ve been having bad dreams. Snape is helping me with them.” He didn’t want you to know that these ‘dreams’ were unfortunately a connection between him and Lord Voldemort. 

Snape helping Harry, of all people? You frowned. “I’m sorry, Harry.”

“It’s alright.” He replied. “Could I ask you the same?”

“Hmm?” you looked at him. “Oh, right. I fell asleep in the library. Too much studying. I’m worried about OWL’s.” 

“You’ll do great, don’t be worried.” He said. “You sound like Hermione.” he added. The two of you laughed together quietly. 

“Harry, could I ask you something?” He nodded and you continued. “Do you honestly think something bad is going to happen? You felt bad for Harry, but trusted him. No one believed him when he said the Dark Lord was back. 

“Yes, I do.” He said. 

You were anticipating his answer and weren’t surprised by it. You wondered when the Dark Lord would appear again, but didn’t want to continue talking about it. You didn’t want to stress him out with too many questions. 

“Thank you for teaching us how to protect ourselves. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t know how.” You pulled him into a hug. “If you ever need anything, just let me know, Harry.” 

“Thanks.” He said with a small smile. 

“You know we are all here for you. We’ve got your back.” You said, and he nodded. 

The two of you reached the end of the corridor, both knowing you now had to go your separate ways. “It was good seeing you, Harry.” 

“Have a good night.” He responded. “And be careful.” 

“I will.” you promised before the two of you parted. 

-

The next morning at breakfast, you sat between Luna and Rey as the three of you ate. Thankfully, you had a free period this morning and was looking forward to spending it studying. Your gaze was fixated on Kylo as he sat beside Neville and Harry, keeping to himself while he ate. Harry looked exhausted, and you wondered if it was because of the bad dreams he told you he’d been having. 

Rey and Luna had finished eating and were ready to head over to the library. Your plate looked untouched, and you hoped your friends wouldn’t notice. Something about today felt off, and it was ruining your appetite. 

“Ready?” Rey asked. You nodded and grabbed your book bag. 

The three of you made your way out of the Great Hall, and as you did you caught one more look at Kylo before exiting. You missed him and wondered if things would ever be normal between the two of you again. 

Immediately after leaving the Great Hall, you heard Ben Solo shouting. You, Rey, and Luna stopped in your tracks. The other students in the surrounding area did the same. Ben and Seamus looked like they were about to go for each other’s throats. 

“Seamus, you’re being ridiculous.” Ben said. 

“My father said Harry is full of it. The Dark Lord isn’t back. I already have to go through enough sharing the same room as him, I don’t need another one of you trying to convince me I’m wrong.” Seamus argued. 

“If I hear you call Harry a liar one more time, I swear it’ll be the last time you say it.” Ben threatened. 

You watched as Hermione, Harry, and Ron came out of the Great Hall. 

“Yeah? What are you going to do, punch me?” Seamus asked. It was quite funny to watch him try to get in Ben’s face, especially since Ben was so much taller. 

“Yeah, I think I will.” Ben hunched over and pressed his forehead against Seamus. “Keep my friend’s name out of your mouth, yeah?” 

“Get off me!” Seamus pushed Ben away from him. 

“Guys, stop!” Hermione shouted, but neither one seemed to hear. 

Ben formed a fist with his hand and pulled back, ready to take a swing. Matt grabbed his brother’s arm and pulled him back. “Seriously, Ben? Don’t get yourself in trouble. Leave him be.” 

Seamus walked off, leaving Ben frustrated. You could tell Harry was thankful that Ben stuck up for him. Ben gently pushed Matt away from him before going off in another direction. 

“I didn’t want to make him upset. I just don’t want him getting in trouble.” Matt said as he walked over to the three of you. 

“Don’t worry Matt, he knows.” Luna said. 

“He just needs some time to cool off.” You added. “It was good that you grabbed him.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Matt replied. “I’ve got to get to potions. I’ll see you three later tonight.” 

You said your goodbyes and the three of you went off to study for your free period. 

-

You stood in the Room of Requirement watching as Poe and Matt dueled in front of everyone. They seemed pretty equally matched until Poe disarmed Matt, sending his wand flying into the air. 

“Not fair.” Matt huffed. 

“Plenty fair!” Poe responded. “Who’s next?” he asked, looking around the room. 

“I’ll take you.” Fred Weasley responded, stepping up to the challenge. 

“No Fred, I’ve got this.” George said, putting a hand on his twin brother’s shoulder. 

“I’ll take on both of you at once, I don’t care!” Poe said. 

“Oh, you’ll regret that.” The twins said at the same time. They both raised their wands and shouted, “stupify!” but Poe blocked their attacks. 

You as well as a few others in the room gasped, impressed with Poe. He turned around, caught your eye, and winked. Taking his eye off his opponents was a bad move. The twins saw their chance and disarmed Poe, sending his wand flying into Fred’s hand. 

“Bit off a little more than you could chew?” George laughed as Poe groaned. 

A shake came over the room and everyone stopped dead in their tracks. 

“What the bloody hell was that?” Ron asked. 

“It came from the other side of that wall.” You said, pointing in front of you. 

The room shook again, and you heard someone let out a little scream. 

“Shhhh.” Harry said to whoever had yelled. 

“Someone’s trying to get in.” Ginny said, taking a step back from one of the walls. 

The room shook a third time, and Matt positioned himself in front of you. Nervously, you grabbed the back of his robes. 

“Everyone move away from that wall!” Harry demanded, maneuvering some Huffelpuff’s and a Gryffindor. 

Seconds later, an explosion came, sending chunks of the wall flying. You covered your face with your arm, hearing a few people shout in fear. Matt stepped back and grabbed you. With your arm still covering your face, you felt bits of rock hitting your legs. 

The dust started to clear, and you looked up to see Armitage, Professor Umbridge, and a few other Slytherins standing in the spot that they had destroyed in the wall. Draco Malfoy came into view, holding Cho Chang by her robes. She looked like she had been crying, her face was red and eyes a little puffy. 

“There you all are.” Umbridge said in her overly sweet tone. “You all just got yourselves in quite a lot of trouble.” She smiled. 


	10. Fine

After Umbridge had caught all of you, you were all brought back to her classroom. She disappeared to her office for a few minutes. Draco, Hux, Argus Filch, and a few others stood watch over the lot of you to make sure that no one said a word. You turned to get a look at Rey. 

“Eyes to the front!” Argus snapped, and you quickly looked forward. 

You were terrified. Never before had you found yourself in trouble like this. You had no idea what was going to happen, but the feeling in your stomach promised you that it was nothing good. 

You wiped your palms on your robes. They were clammy from your nerves. Would you be sent back home? You felt your mouth go dry. What if you got expelled? Merlin, that would be the worst possible outcome. 

Umbridge emerged from her office, walking slowly down the steps. The clack of each heel seemed to ring in your ears. You could tell everyone around you was just as nervous. You felt bad for Harry, he probably felt the worst out of all of you. 

“I want each of you to come meet me in my office.” Umbridge began. “Separately.” 

No one responded. Not even with a head nod. 

“I don’t care how late you’re here, nor do I care that you have class in the morning. You all decided to go against the rules of our school, and you will be punished.” Umbridge continued. “You there.” She pointed to Jael. “I’ll start with you. Come with me, dear.” 

Jael stood nervously. As she walked past you, you noticed her hands shaking. “Don’t be nervous, we’re just going to have a little chat.” Umbridge smiled darkly. 

All of you watched as Jael and Professor Umbridge disappeared behind her office door. You heard nothing but silence for the next ten minutes. It seemed like everyone was too nervous to even breathe. 

Jael was dismissed and allowed to go back to her dorm. You wondered what Umbridge had asked her. You didn’t feel prepared for any of this. You kept wiping your hands on your robes and trying to calm yourself down, but nothing was working. Umbridge called Ron Weasley into her office next, and you watched the red haired boy follow her up. 

Every ten or so minutes, Umbridge would release whoever she had been talking to and called a new student up. The group was starting to wear thin. Only you, Rey, Harry, and a few Hufflepuffs remained. No one had said a word the entire time since you were still being watched by Umbridge’s minions. You could hear Rey nervously tapping her foot behind you. 

A Hufflepuff student went next, and then Rey followed. She turned to give you a look before going up to Umbridge’s office. It felt like the first time you had ever seen Rey look anxious. You wanted to give her a smile, but were too scared. Even if you had tried, you weren’t sure if you could produce one. 

The inside of your bottom lip had started to bleed. You had been chewing on it nervously while you awaited your turn. You closed your eyes and tried to relax. You heard the office door open and Rey’s heavy footsteps descend the small staircase. You looked up at her just as she passed by. She looked down at you and widened her eyes a little bit before walking past you. 

The look she gave was not reassuring. 

You heard Umbridge call your name next, and your stomach dropped. You stood uneasily. It felt like Umbridge was burning holes into your skin while she watched you approach her. 

“Come in, dear.” She said, waving you inside. 

Her office was horrifying. Everything was pink. She had decorative plates hanging on the wall with kittens on them, their soft meows were the only sound to break the silence. Everything was placed so perfectly, even the pens on her desk were lined up evenly. 

“Would you like a cup of tea?” She offered, holding out an already poured cup to you. 

“Uh, no thanks.” You declined politely. 

“It’s late, don’t you think some caffeine would help keep you awake?” She said, offering the cup to you again. 

“No, thank you.” You declined again. Something inside you was telling you to not accept the tea. 

“Very well.” She sighed, seeming a bit frustrated you hadn’t taken it. “I’m sure you know why you’re sitting here with me.” She began. You stayed silent, so she continued. “We already know that Harry Potter was teaching you and your friends defensive spells. Now tell me, why did you decide to go against Hogwarts’ rules and participate in something such as this?” 

You stayed quiet. 

“My dear, if you decide not to talk, your punishment will be far worse.” She smiled. “I’m sure you don’t want that.”

“Maybe if you were a better teacher, a 17 year old student wouldn’t have to step up and teach his classmates how to protect themselves.” You replied. 

Umbridge was taken aback by your comment. “That’s no way to speak to the Headmistress of Hogwarts.” She said. 

“You’re not the Headmistress.” You snapped. “Dumbledore is the Headmaster of this school.” 

“Dumbledore has been absent from this school for months, child. He is your Headmaster no more.” 

You crossed your arms and didn’t respond. You could see that Umbridge was chewing on her cheek.You smirked, assuming that she was frustrated with you. 

“Is something about this funny to you?” She asked. 

“Yeah, I think so. You’re a ridiculous woman, you know that? And far too old to be obsessed with the color pink.” 

“I’d be careful with my words if I were you.” Umbridge replied, still biting at her cheek. 

“I’m already in trouble, there isn’t much worse I could do. You think of us all as some sort of terrorists, but we’re not. Just because you’re too stupid to recognize that Lord Voldemort is back doesn’t mean that we are. I should be able to protect myself. My school should be protecting it’s students. But I’ve never felt so uncomfortable here until you showed up.” You said, watching Professor Umbridge flinch when you said Voldemort’s name. 

She stayed quiet for a moment, and you could tell she was trying to keep herself composed. “You will report to the Great Hall every evening, two hours after dinner. You will join alongside all your friends in detention. If you are late or miss anything, you will find yourself in even more trouble.” She stood from her chair. “Do I make myself clear?” 

“Fine.” you said through gritted teeth. 

“Fine indeed. Now off to bed with you.” She shooed you out of her office and called the name of her next victim. 

Before storming out of her classroom, you caught a glance of Harry. He wouldn’t look up at you but you wished he would have. You wanted to reach out to him, you wanted him to know that no one blamed him. This was everyone else’s own choice, not his. He didn’t force any of you to do this. All of you wanted to learn. You believed him, you knew the Dark Lord had returned, and you knew Harry was the only one who could teach you to protect yourself. 

You walked the empty halls back to Ravenclaw Tower. Even though you were tired, you felt some sort of fire ignite within you. It was something new, a passion you hadn’t felt in quite some time. For some reason, you weren’t nervous anymore. You liked that you had been caught, and you didn’t care that you talked back to Umbridge. She deserved every bit of it and you hoped that you weren’t the only one to do it. 

As you prepared to answer the riddle to gain entrance to your common room, you heard someone speak your name softly. You jumped and looked around to see who it was. Matt had been waiting for you. 

“Matt, you just about gave me a heart attack.” You said, walking towards him. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He replied. “Definitely didn’t think I’d be waiting this long for you.” He laughed. 

You smiled at him. “I’m okay, thanks.” You paused. “Thank you for stepping in front of me when that explosion happened. I really appreciate you for that.”

“Of course, I’d do anything for you.” He replied, pulling you into one of his tight hugs. “It’s late, and a long walk back to my common room. I should probably head back.” 

“Before you go, can I ask you something?” You grabbed Matt’s hand. “Did she offer you a cup of tea?” 

“Yeah, she did.”

“Did you take it?” you asked. 

“Nah, tea’s gross.” Matt replied. “Why, did you?” 

You shook your head. 

“That woman’s a nasty one, isn’t she.” Matt said, and you nodded in agreement. “Try not to think about it too much, or else you really won’t get any sleep tonight.”

“Sure.” You said. “I’ll see you later. Safe travels.” You smiled, and Matt disappeared as he descended the steps. 

You stormed into the common room with your head held high. You expected it to be empty, but you saw Cho Chang curled up on one of the chairs next to the fire. You could hear her sniffling. She looked up and saw you, quickly wiping her tears away. 

“Cho, are you okay?” You asked, taking the seat next to her. 

“I’m so sorry.” She started, tears already starting to fall again. “She made me talk. I didn’t want to.”

“What do you mean?” you replied, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“Umbridge, she called me to her office. She offered me a cup of tea and I was stupid and took it. She had some sort of truth elixer in there. I didn’t want to admit to anything, but I couldn’t help it. She drugged me..” Cho’s voice trailed off. 

“Merlin, that’s horrible.” You watched her continue to cry. “Don’t worry, no one will blame you for this. It’s not your fault.”

“But it is my fault. I was the one who told on all of you.”

“She drugged you, you couldn’t have known that.” You were thankful you hadn’t accepted the offer of tea. “Everything will get sorted.”

“The way Harry looked at me...I just know he feels betrayed.” She replied. 

“Harry doesn’t know yet.” You said. “Trust me, he’ll understand. Harry is like, one of the nicest guy’s at this school. If anything, he blames himself, not you.”

“I don’t want him to blame himself either.” Cho said. 

“Just talk to him the next chance you get. In the meantime, you should try and get some rest.” You glanced up at a clock and saw that it was already 3 in the morning. “Come on, I’ll walk up with you.” 

You stood from the chair and reached your hand out to her. She took it, and you helped her up. The two of you held hands as you walked up the stairs to your dorms. Yours was a floor beneath her own, so you said your good nights before she went up to her’s. 

When you entered, Luna and Rey were already fast asleep. You were envious of them, knowing that you’d be much more exhausted in the morning. You stripped of your robes and crawled into bed, letting your exhaustion take over and you quickly fell asleep. 


	11. A Foot Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is keeping up with this series. You all mean the world to me <3 I am already done with part one of this series and the first four chapters of part two. I am looking forward to how this will all play out! Thank you again <3

It had been two weeks since Cho Chang told Umbridge about Dumbledore’s Army. You didn’t blame her, but it still sucked. Every day, the group of you had to sit in the Great Hall after dinner and write with some wicked quills she gave you. It would cut the words that you wrote into your hand. It hurt like hell, especially since it kept reopening the same wound over and over. 

Thankfully, you were oddly used to it now. The first time it happened, you were in absolute shock. You remember thinking that you just had to write the same sentence over and over. You felt stupid for thinking that would be the worst of your punishment. 

The first letter you wrote cut deep.You had watched in horror as the letter ‘i’ started to carve itself into your opposite hand. You were too nervous to look up, but from the sounds that others were making around you, you figured the same thing was happening to them. You heard a few people let out a hiss, while others sucked in their breath. You looked up quickly and made eye contact with Ben. The look in his eyes was a mixture of anger and sadness. It was the first time he had looked at you without a flirtatious twinkle in his eye. 

He looked scared. 

All of you continued writing, though. No one was going to back down to Umbridge. An entire hour went by before she dismissed the lot of you. Everyone left silently, holding their injured hand in shock. Some even had tears in their eyes, but they wouldn’t dare let Umbridge see. 

“What an end to Dumbledore’s Army.” Rey said to you and Luna as you sat in your dormitory. She was looking down at her freshly bleeding hand after another evening spent with Umbridge. 

“It wouldn’t be so depressing if we weren’t reminded of it every day.” You replied. “I’m tired of writing with those damn things.”

“I wonder if this is going to scar.” Rey said, now getting up to clean the blood from her hand. You watched as she did. 

“Most likely.” Luna said, and Rey groaned. 

“I don’t want to be reminded of this for the rest of my life.” Rey said, now wetting two towels in the bathroom sink. 

“I unfortunately think that’s the point.” You replied. 

Rey handed you and Luna each a wet towel so that you could clean up your fresh wounds. 

“I don’t even understand how this is legal. Isn’t this considered abuse or something? This is some torturous shit.” Rey complained. “I hate it here.”

There was nothing anyone could do. With Dumbledore gone and the Ministry backing Umbridge, it seemed like she was going to be able to get away with whatever she wanted. 

“Don’t say that.” Luna responded.

“Why not? Nothing seems right anymore.” Rey said. 

“Hogwarts isn’t Hogwarts. It’s been hell ever since Dumbledore left.” You said. “He’d never do that to anyone, even if they truly deserved it.” 

“I wish the year would end quicker so that I could go home. I’m over it.” Rey said. 

Luna stayed quiet. You could tell that she wanted to be positive for the three of you, but there was no point. Rey was too hot headed and Luna did not want to start an argument. 

“I think I’m going to go for a walk.” You said. 

“What? You can’t do that. You’ll get in trouble.” Rey replied. 

“More trouble than I’m already in?” You asked. “What’s she going to do, make me write more words?” 

“Whatever, do what you want.” Rey shrugged. 

You ignored Rey’s tone and made your way out of the dorm room. You felt a weight lift from your shoulders once away from your friends. Though you loved them, at time’s Rey’s attitude would wear you down. It used to be easy to have alone time, but now it was next to impossible. You couldn’t remember the last time you were by yourself for an extended amount of time. You missed being able to walk around the lake later in the evening or wander the halls without fear of getting into trouble. 

You had made your way through the castle and were now sitting near the courtyard. This was the closest to being outside as you could get. With Umbridge and her rules, it would be next to impossible to make it out without anyone knowing. You really just wanted some fresh air, especially after being cooped up inside all day. 

You felt bad for leaving Luna and Rey, especially with all the tension, but it was making you anxious. Rey was right. You hated it here too. Umbridge had ruined everything for you. Your second home now felt like a prison. You couldn’t even spend your free periods in the greenhouse without being harassed. Even other Professors seemed to fear Umbridge. She was an absolute monster. 

You heard footsteps and turned to see Kylo approaching. “Does she have you patrolling the castle as well?” You asked. You were annoyed to see him and ready to have him talk down to you like a child, just as he had the last time you saw him. 

Kylo stayed silent. He sat beside you, taking your hand into his own. You winced. The hand he had touched was the one with words cut into it. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologized for hurting you. He took a look at your hand, and you could see the anger in his eyes. “None of you deserved this.” 

You were thankful he hadn’t said “I told you so” yet. You figured he had already gotten it out of his system on his brothers. 

“It was worth it, I guess. At least I learned more in those few weeks than I had this whole year at Hogwarts.” 

“How much longer do you have to endure detention?” Kylo asked, still looking at your wounded hand. 

“Probably until the end of the year.” You replied. 

Kylo made a look of disgust. “I wish you hadn’t gone. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

“I’m fine, Kylo.” You snapped. Maybe he was going to talk to you like you were a child. “Can we please not do this? If you want to fight, save it for later.” 

“I don’t want to fight.” He said. “I just wanted to see you.” 

You felt your chest burst with warmth. 

“Matt and Ben aren’t taking the punishment too well. It’s wearing Ben down the most.” Kylo and Ben still had unsolved problems and weren’t really talking, but he could see the exhaustion in Ben’s eyes. “I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright. I was hoping you’d be a little better off.” 

“Like I said, I’m fine.” You replied. The two of you stayed silent for a minute before you spoke again. “Thank you, though.” You did genuinely appreciate him checking up on you. 

He moved his hand to your thigh and gave it a squeeze. It didn’t feel sexual, but more so as a sign of acknowledgement. “You’re tough, I’ve known it for years now.” 

“Yeah?” you replied. 

Kylo nodded. “Could I walk you back to your common room?” Kylo asked. 

You were surprised. “Yeah, I’d love that.” You smiled. 

The two of you walked through the castle quietly. Neither of you had said a word since leaving the courtyard. You were hoping he’d take your hand, but he still hadn’t. You decided to make the first move, but instead of grabbing his hand you looped your arm in his. 

“Males and females are supposed to be at least a foot apart at all times.” you heard a voice behind you call. 

The two of you jumped and you immediately moved away from Kylo. You turned around to see Hux standing just a couple feet down the hall. How the hell did he sneak up on you so quietly? 

“Go bother some other poor soul, Hux.” You snarled. 

“I would, but I saw two people breaking a rule and you know I can’t let that go ignored.” He replied, walking closer to the two of you. “It’s good to see you, Kylo.” He added with a wicked looking smile. 

“Seriously, Hux. Fuck off.” You said. 

“Cursing too? From you of all people? Aren’t you in enough trouble as it is? I’d watch my tongue if I were you.” Hux warned. 

You stepped forward, but Kylo gently pushed you back. You looked up at him and he gave you a look that clearly said, “Don’t.” 

“I’m walking them back to their common room. Just let us go in peace.” Kylo said. 

Hux looked the two of you up and down. He waved his hand, “Sure, go on.” He didn’t sound genuine at all. “Just watch your mouth, kid.” 

“We’re in the same year!” you snapped. Kylo gave you a death glare and you decided not to carry on. You heard Hux laugh as he walked down the corridor. “You should have let me punch him in the face.” You said once Hux was out of earshot. 

“I truly hate to admit it, but Hux is right. Someone like you should be looking to stay out of trouble.” 

“Since when did you agree with anything Hux said?” You joked. 

“I just think you should be more careful.” He replied. 

“I don’t think I need you looking out for me.” You said, regretting how it sounded. 

Kylo raised an eyebrow, but you ignored him.

The two of you reached Ravenclaw Tower. You stood in front of each other, a foot apart, neither one of you ready to say goodbye, but neither of you had said anything the rest of the walk there. You wanted to reach out and touch him. Even just a hug would feel like enough, but you were too worried the wrong person would see. 

“Stay out of trouble.” Kylo said before turning on his heel and leaving you to yourself. 


	12. Fireworks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are enjoying this series. I know part one is a little slow, but things get more heated in part two, which we are almost at. Thanks for reading <3

Kylo’s last words to you continuously repeated themself in your head the rest of the week. You really were trying your best to stay out of trouble. You found yourself getting to class on time, studying hard for your OWL’s, and going to bed at a reasonable time. Everything almost felt like it was back to normal. 

Well, that was a lie. You were still having to write words that would cut into your hand every night, and Hogwarts felt more like a prison than school. You hardly got to see you friends from other houses, and you no longer felt comfortable walking around the halls alone. It seemed like Umbridge was trying her best to keep all of you separate. You couldn’t remember the last time you were alone with a Gryffindor or Slytherin. You missed your friends, and you missed Kylo. 

You had your Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL test this evening. You weren’t as anxious as you thought you’d be, especially since this was the first OWL you’d be taking. Ravenclaws, Gryffindors, Slytherins, and Hufflepuffs pooled into the Great Hall, each taking a seat while Professor Umbridge watched from a chair at the front. 

Rey was to your left and Luna was to your right. Each of you exchanged good lucks to the other before facing forward and waiting for the test to begin. Once the Hall was silent, Umbridge waved her wand and a stack of tests began to float through the air, distributing itself to the students. 

Once the parchment had landed on your test, you immediately began. You frowned at the first question, knowing already that the test would consist of answers found in the book that Umbridge had passed out at the beginning of the year. You heard Hermione let out a sigh from a few feet away. You already knew she was just as frustrated as you were. 

An hour passed, but it felt like forever. There was no sound besides the ticking clock and the scratching of quills on parchment as students continued with their test. You were about halfway through your test, or at least that’s what it seemed like. 

You noticed an odd fizzing sound, and started to look around. You realized others had heard it too when a handful of students also looked up from their test. Umbridge cleared her throat, and you all went back to writing. 

The same sound came again, and this time more people heard it. About half the room had looked up from their tests, and Umbridge told them to get back to their work. But before anyone could, the same sound came again. Umbridge got up, frustrated, and walked down one of the rows of desks. 

The source of sound was what seemed to be similar to a sparkler, but floating in mid air. It glided towards Umbridge, and then burnt up and died right in front of her face. She snarled her nose and looked around as students laughed at her. 

“Get back to taking your tests!” She shouted. 

Before anyone could focus back their attention, the doors to the Great Hall burst open. Poe, Fred, and George came flying in on brooms, throwing fireworks up into the air as they did. They exploded and white and red sparkles danced above everyone’s head. 

Everyone immediately got out of their chairs and cheered as the boys continued to throw fireworks. There were so many that it was hard to focus on a single one. So many colors were bursting around you. Blue, purple, red, green, yellow, and white. You watched as some fireworks chased students, laughing as they yelled and ducked out of their way. 

Poe flew low so that he could high five Ben’s outstretched hand. Rey was shouting in approval and Luna was giggling with Ginny. Even Hermione was happy to see the fireworks instead of taking the test. Matt picked you up and spun you around while you held onto him tightly with your arms around his neck. You caught a glimpse of Kylo across the room with a dirty look on his face while he watched the two of you. You immediately felt bad and wished Matt would put you down, but he was having too much fun. 

The twins let out one last firework, one that resembled a giant dragon. Everyone watched as it chased Umbridge out of the Great Hall and exploded all around her. The woman let out a shriek, and all the rules that she had hung up on the walls shattered and fell to the floor. All the students cheered as Fred, George, and Poe flew off into the courtyard and outside the castle. 

Everyone quickly followed, abandoning their tests. You grabbed Matt’s hand and followed the crowd, cheering along with them all. Fred, George, and Poe let off one more heavy display before disappearing into the sky. You watched all around as people cheered and laughed. You saw Harry and Hermione just to the right of you, and watched as Harry fell to the ground. 

No one around you seemed to notice besides Hermione. She ran to Harry’s aid, trying to help him back up. You tried to move through the crowd to get to them, but there were too many people. Everyone was too excited with what was going on to let you pass. 

You watched as Hermione propped Harry up on her lap and yelled for help. You shoved Matt to get his attention and pointed in their direction. He began to push past people aggressively. Ron was now trying to help Harry up, and Matt knelt down to assist. 

“He needs to go to the Hospital Wing!” Hermione yelled over the crowd. 

Matt turned to you. “I’ve got him, don’t worry. Go back to the common room with Luna and Rey, I’ll see you later.” 

“I want to stay with you guys, I want to make sure Harry is okay!” You replied. 

“He’ll be fine.” Matt assured you, and him and Ron started to walk away. 

You felt frustrated and wanted to go after them. Harry was your friend too. You wondered what had made him faint. You thought back to when you had seen him up late at night. Was there something more to the dreams he had been having? 

The fireworks had subsided, and the crowd started to disperse. You found Rey and Luna quickly and told them what happened. 

“I hope Harry is okay.” Luna said, sounding worried. 

“Me too.” you replied. 

The three of you were on your way back to Ravenclaw Tower. There was no point in going back to finish your test, especially since everyone had run out on it. 

“You know, I think I’m going to go up to the Hospital Wing.” Luna said, stopping in her tracks. 

“Why?” Rey asked. 

Luna didn’t answer. “I’ll be back in an hour or so.” She said, and started to walk in the opposite direction. 

You were frustrated that Luna went to go check on Harry, especially since you had wanted to be there for him in the first place but Matt wouldn’t let you. 

“Don’t bother with her.” Rey said as if she could read your mind. “Come on.” 

You rolled your eyes and followed Rey back to your common room. It was buzzing with students as they talked about what had just happened. You wondered why Poe, George, and Fred had decided to do something like that. Regardless, you were impressed by the display. But something inside you felt as if they wouldn’t be returning to Hogwarts, and you felt sad. 

You and Rey walked through the common room and up to your dorm. She swung the door open and jumped on her bed. 

“Do you think they’re coming back?” You asked. 

“Who?”

“Who do you think? The three idiots who just did an entire firework show for the school.” 

Rey laughed. “No way. And even if they wanted to, I’m sure Umbridge would expel them. Did you see the look on her face when that dragon exploded on her? It was unreal!”

You nodded your head in agreement. Though everything was exciting, it was hard not to think about Harry. 

“Are you alright?” Rey asked, sitting up in her bed. 

You knew it would be hard to lie to her, so you decided to be honest. “I’m worried about Harry, that’s all.”

“Me too, but I keep reminding myself that he’s incredibly strong. Harry has been through more than any of us. He always comes out okay.” She gave you a little smile. 

You smiled back, feeling a little more relaxed. Both you and Rey decided to study for your other upcoming OWL’s while you waited for Luna to return, but the thought of Harry not being okay stayed in the back of your mind. 

-

More than a few hours had passed before Luna came through the door. Both you and Rey looked up from your books, waiting to hear the news.

“Harry is okay.” Luna said as she pulled her book bag from under her bed and started to shove things inside it. 

The two of you let out a sigh of relief. 

“But we’re going to the Ministry of Magic tonight.” Luna continued. You watched as she placed extra clothes and some bandages into her bag. 

“Whoa, hold on a minute,” you stood from your bed. “You’re going to the Ministry of Magic...tonight?” 

“Yes, in just a few minutes actually. I came up here to let you two know that he was okay before I left.” Luna replied. 

“Luna, why in the world-?” you started to ask, but she quickly responded. 

“Harry had a vision. Apparently Lord Voldemort has his godfather, Sirius. He saw him being tortured. He has to save him, and we don’t want him going alone.” 

You and Rey locked eyes for a split second. No words were needed for communication, the two of you immediately knew you were both on board.

“You think you’re going to the Ministry of Magic without me?” Rey stood from her bed too. “No way. I’m coming with.”

“Me too.” you chimed in. You felt the fire within you start to burn again. You had been waiting for something like this.

Luna looked surprised. “Harry will be happy to have you both. This isn’t going to be easy, you know.” 

“We know, but Harry would do the same for us. Let’s get going.” Rey replied. 

The three of you left your dorm immediately, rushing down the stairs of Ravenclaw Tower to meet with Harry and whoever else was going. The castle was still and you all tried your best to keep your quick footsteps light. 

“Luna,” you got her attention quietly, “how exactly are we supposed to get to the Ministry of Magic?” With the rush of everything, you had forgotten to ask such an important question. 

“Thestrals, of course.” Luna responded as if you should’ve already known. 

“The winged, skeleton horses that only people can see if they’ve seen someone die?” Rey asked and Luna nodded. 

You realized you were wearing only a t- shirt and pants. The thought of flying through England’s cold, night sky was enough to make you shiver. “You guys, I have to go grab a jacket. There’s no way I can fly there in what I’m wearing, I’ll freeze.” You stopped. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

“I’ll have everyone wait for you.” Luna replied. “Meet us on the west side of the lake.” 

“How will I get outside?” You asked. 

“Trust me, Professor Umbridge is a bit preoccupied at the moment.” Luna responded. 

Not wanting to waste time, you decided not to ask anymore questions and just trust your friend. You quickly said goodbye and started your way back to Ravenclaw Tower. 

Your heart was racing, but in a good way. For some reason, you didn’t feel anxious. That fire was still burning bright within you, and you were excited to help your friend. He had taught you how to protect yourself, and now you got to help protect him. You’d do anything for your friends, just as they’d do anything for you. Dumbledore’s Army was so much more than a learning environment, it was a group of people who loved and cared about each other. 

You felt someone grab your shoulder, and it ripped you from your thoughts. You were swung around by whoever it was, and you let out a low huff in surprise. You looked up to see Kylo standing there, hand still gripping your shoulder. 

“What the hell was that for?” you hissed, trying to shrug him off. 

“Please don’t tell me you’re going.” He said softly. 

“What are you talking about?” You didn’t want to deal with him trying to parent you again. 

“Don’t play stupid. I know where you’re going. Please, don’t go. It isn’t safe.” He was fearful of you getting hurt. He couldn’t say much to convince his brothers to stay, but he hoped you had more of a head on your shoulders. You were smarter than them and less likely to go looking for trouble. 

“I have to, Kylo. Harry would do the same for me.” This time you managed to get him to let go of you. “Harry would do the same for all of us.”

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.” Kylo went on. 

“Oh, but you do? You’re the one not even willing to help out a friend. You know for a fact Harry would do anything to help you if you needed it. I don’t want to hear it from you.” You snapped and started walking towards Ravenclaw Tower again. 

“Please just listen to me.” Kylo said as he walked alongside you and kept your pace. 

“I’m not listening to anyone, especially not you. I don’t know what your problem’s been this year, but you’ve changed. You’re never around anymore. You sulk about and keep to yourself, and I’m lucky to even see you at meals or in class.” You said, and Kylo stopped in his tracks. “I’m tired of you telling me what to do. You’re not my boyfriend and you’re not my dad either. Why would I listen to you?”

You stopped now too, only a few feet away from him. “If you did like me, you’d spend more time around me. If you cared about any of your friends, I’d see you interacting with them more often. You wouldn’t join Dumbledore’s Army, and now you’re not even willing to go fight for one of your close friends?” You felt tears start to form in your eyes. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.” 

Kylo walked towards you and put your hands in his. “Please.” He looked down at you, but you turned your head to keep from making eye contact. “If you go, I’ll be up all night worried.” 

You stayed silent. Kylo wished he could read your mind. Maybe this was the time to tell you he loved you, and that he really did care about you. If he said how he truly felt, maybe you’d trust him and not go. 

Kylo bent down, trying to bring his lips up to yours. You let go of his hands and pushed him away before he could make contact. Tears were now falling down your cheeks and you didn’t want him to see you crying. You weren’t sad, you were frustrated. 

“If you did care about me, then you’d come.” You said, turning on your heel and leaving Kylo to himself. 


	13. Thestrals

While wiping the tears from your face, you ascended the steps of Ravenclaw Tower quickly. Never in your five years at Hogwarts had you run up these stairs, but you were thankful that the adrenaline rush kept you from feeling tired. 

You were angry. This moment was supposed to be about helping Harry. This evening was going to revolve around saving someone that meant the world to your friend. But Kylo had to ruin it. 

Well, almost ruined it. 

He lived rent free in your mind, and you wanted it to be clear tonight of all nights. Why did he have to try and kiss you at a time like this? Was he truly that much of an idiot? You weren’t sure if you could forgive him. You understood that he was trying to look after you, but it felt like he was trying to keep you from doing things. It almost felt possessive, and you  weren’t even his to begin with. 

You belonged to no one, and nobody could tell you what to do. 

Even if you had a partner, you hoped that they wouldn’t act like him. If a friend of yours was in need, you’d want them to help. Was Kylo selfish? Why wouldn’t he care about Harry? 

No one at Hogwarts was as loving or caring as Harry Potter. Harry would die to protect anyone from evil. If someone didn’t like Harry, you didn’t trust them. You let your thoughts wander for a moment.

Maybe you shouldn’t trust Kylo anymore. 

You grabbed the first sweater you could find and threw it over your head. You felt bad for taking so long and tried to make up for it. Harry’s godfather could be dead any minute. You prayed that Kylo wouldn’t be sulking in the shadows waiting for you. He had already wasted your time, you couldn’t afford any more of it lost. 

As soon as you reached the bottom of the tower, you took off towards the lake. You had forgotten the chance of being caught by anyone patrolling the halls, but you couldn’t care less even if you were. There was nothing they could do to keep you. 

Your footsteps echoed through the corridor but all you could hear were your heavy breaths. You pushed past one of the doors that led outside. You ran across the grass, quickly passing the greenhouses you used to love working in. For a moment, you thought about how you hoped that next year would be different. You wanted to be able to enjoy school again. 

Rounding a corner on the outside of the castle, the lake was now in view. You saw people standing at the edge, but couldn’t make out who they were yet. You felt a little ridiculous running up to them, especially since you were so out of breath. Only a few more feet, then you could start to breathe normal again. 

As you grew closer, you were able to make out who was waiting for you. Rey, Luna, Neville, Ginny, Ron, Matt, and Ben stood there quietly talking amongst themselves. You saw Rey throw up a hand and wave at you once you were within earshot. 

“Glad you made it.” Ginny said, placing her hand on your back while you tried to catch your breath. 

“You might have to start joining me on my morning jogs.” Ben laughed. 

You glared at him. “Absolutely not.” you huffed as you continued to catch your breath. 

“We should probably get going.” Luna said. 

It was then when you realized that neither Harry or Hermione were with the group. 

“We’re meeting up with Harry and Hermione in the forest.” Rey said. You swore she could read your mind at times. 

“What are they doing there?” you asked as the group of you started to walk towards the edge of the forest. 

“Driving Umbridge away with a group of centaurs.” Matt said. 

You let out a laugh. “No way.”

“Most definitely.” Matt assured you. “Someone had to do it. It was the only way we were able to sneak out of the castle.” 

“What about her minions, though?” you asked. “I didn’t see anyone in the halls on my way out here.”

“We took care of them.” Ron replied. “Ginny had some of Fred and George’s candies. They ate them up and started puking all over the place. It was hilarious.”

“And smelly.” Ginny added. 

“I’ve taken those once or twice to get out of class.” Ben admitted. “They work like a charm.” 

All of you entered the forest together. You could hear twigs occasionally snapping underneath footsteps and the leaves rustling in the wind. You linked arms with Matt, shuddering as the wind hit your face. You were thankful you went back for your sweater. 

“So how exactly are we going to find these creatures when none of us can see them?” Matt asked as you walked deeper into the forest. 

“I can see them.” Luna replied. No one wanted to ask questions, but you knew why she could. Her mother had passed away in a tragic accident when she was younger. You could tell Matt felt uncomfortable after asking the question, but it wasn't his fault for not knowing. Him and Luna weren’t that close, after all. 

“It’s going to be wicked riding on top of something through the sky and not even be able to see what you’re sitting on.” you heard Ron mumble to Neville. 

Footsteps could be heard approaching from the other direction and all of you immediately stopped walking. Everyone paused for a moment as the footsteps became louder. 

“Harry? Hermione?” Rey called into the darkness. 

You heard whoever had been approaching whisper “Lumos” and the tip of their wand shone bright in the darkness. You then saw Hermione and Harry standing there with a few scratches on their face. 

Ron rushed up to his two best friends and hugged them tightly. “You took care of Umbridge then?” He asked once letting them go. 

“She’s gone, that’s for sure.” Harry responded. “We will have plenty of time before she’s back.” 

“Good going you guys.” Neville said as he patted Harry on the back. “Let’s get going to the Ministry now then, yeah?”

“How are we gonna do that without any thestrals?” Ben asked. 

“What do you mean?” Luna said, now about ten feet away from all of you. She had reached inside her bag and pulled out what looked like raw meat. You watched her toss it up into the air and it magically disappeared. “We’ve already found them.” 

“Ah, right…” Ben let his voice trail off. 

“How are we going to do this, exactly?” Rey asked. “Especially since only you and Harry can see them. 

“We’ll help you, don’t worry.” Harry replied. 

“There are only six of them, though. So some of you will need to double up.” Luna said. 

“I want to stay close to you.” you said, looking up at Matt. 

“I’ve got you, no worries.” He replied, smiling down at you. “We’ll take one together. Load us up!” He said, spinning his finger around in the air. 

Harry and Luna began to help you all find your way to a thestral. Luckily Luna had brought raw meat she took from the kitchen which made everything a lot easier. 

“Here, put this in the palm of your hand.” She said, placing the meat into your hand. “And hold it out like this.” She had her arm outstretched with her hand open and facing up. 

You did what she said and held still. You waited until it felt as if something was breathing gently on your arm. Something warm touched your palm, but you could not see it. The meat was then picked up and quickly disappeared. 

“They’re friendly, see?” Luna smiled. “Here, give me your hand.” You let her guid you to what you assumed was its neck. The creature was cold and boney, but you gently stroked it. “She likes you.” Luna said softly. 

“This is so whacky.” you heard Matt say from behind you. “You look like a bunch of lunatics.” 

As you continued to stroke the thestral, you looked around at your friends. Rey was already sitting on hers and it was hard not to laugh. It looked like she was floating in mid air. Harry was helping Ben onto one while Ginny and Neville were feeding another. 

“I think she’ll let you get on her now.” Luna said. “Let me help you.” Luna repositioned you, this time having you place your arm somewhere on the animal. You held on tightly before boosting yourself up and swinging a leg over it’s body. 

“Whoa.” You said to yourself. Nothing was weirder than knowing you were sitting on something but looking down and seeing only the ground. 

“Come on, Matt.” Luna said, reaching her hand out to him. 

“I think I’ve got this.” He said politely to her. You watched him feel the creature’s back before grabbing your hand and pulling himself up. He positioned himself behind you and let out a sigh of relief. “This is crazy.”

“Everyone ready?” You heard Harry call. 

“What are we even supposed to do?” You said to Matt as everyone around you responded to Harry. “Is there a certain way to fly these things or…?” 

“You’re asking the wrong person.” Matt responded. 

Before you could call out to Luna or Harry, they were already taking off. You watched as Harry ascended into the sky while Rey, Ginny, Neville, and Luna followed. 

“Oi!” You heard Ben shout. “How do we get these things to work?” You turned to see him sitting with Hermione in front of him with a look of confusion on his face. His body jerked back as his thestral started to run before taking off. 

Ron’s followed, and you felt yours start to move beneath you. “Hold on!” you heard Matt say, and you wrapped our arms around the creature’s neck right before it took off into the night sky. 

“Bloody hell!” you heard Ron yell. 

The wind was so loud in your ears that it was almost impossible to hear anyone else, but you were pretty sure you heard Rey whooping with excitement just ahead of you. 

Your eyes watered, but you didn’t care. You looked down at Hogwarts as you flew past it, taking in its beauty. You could hardly see the rolling hills that surrounded it as well as the lake and forest below. You didn’t care, though. This was by far the most wild experience you had had since entering the wizarding world. 

The thestral took you up above the clouds and you could now see the rest of your friends. Ben was being wild with his arms outstretched while Hermione screamed. Matt laughed behind you and you assumed he was watching them as well. Your thestral flew past Neville, and you turned to get a look at him. 

“You alright, friend?” Matt called over the wind, but you weren’t sure if Neville heard. “Just loosen up, nothing bad’s gonna happen!” 

Luna seemed the most comfortable on her’s. Ginny was holding onto her waist from behind while their thestral glided through the sky. You watched them move up and down so softly, it looked like a fun rollercoaster ride. 

“How long do you think it’ll take for us to get there?” you shouted to Matt. Your eyes were now watering so badly that tears were spilling down your face. You were too nervous to let go of the thestral’s neck and wipe them away. 

“I’m not sure, but hopefully not too much longer, this cold air is kicking my ass!” he shouted back and you laughed. 

Your thestral started to move lower in the sky, coming down through the clouds. You gasped at the sight below you. All of London was shining brightly, matching the stars in the sky you were in. 

“It’s beautiful!” you heard Matt yell. 

It was beautiful. You saw everyone else come down from the clouds, now flying through the clear sky. You hoped no one would see, even if it was late at night. Harry was still leading the way, and you were thankful that the thestrals all seemed to know that they needed to follow. 

All of you were now flying much lower. The top of the city’s buildings were now within reach. Your thestral lowered even more into the city and weaved through the streets. 

“Merlin, we’re gonna crash!” you shouted while Matt laughed behind you. “Stop laughing, you dick!” you wanted to turn around and smack him but were too terrified to look anywhere but ahead. 

Your thestral gracefully landed and walked a few more steps before coming to a stop. You immediately felt foolish for shouting while Matt made fun of you. Everyone else had also landed, only slightly scattered from each other. You dismounted your thestral and waited for Matt to get off too so that you could smack him in the arm. 

“Hey!” he said, rubbing his arm where you had hit it. 

Hermione and Ben approached the two of you, both of them with wild hair from the wind. “That was the most fun I had ever had in my life.” Ben said while running his fingers through his hair. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” Hermione said before looking at you. “I’m terrified of heights.” 

“You’re brave for doing it, Hermione.” you replied, making her smile. “Maybe you belong in Gryffindor after all.” The two of you laughed. It was often that you’d hear Ravenclaw’s complaining and wondering why Hermione wasn’t in your house. 

The four of you met up with the rest of the group. Everyone’s faces were pink from the cold air. You couldn’t help but wonder what you looked like after that wild ride. 

“Everyone all right?” Harry asked, looking to all of you. The group nodded their heads at him. “Great, let’s get going.” 

Harry started to lead you all down one of the streets while everyone tried their best to stay quiet. The street lamps illuminated the path as you followed behind Harry. You felt someone intertwine their fingers with yours, and you looked up to see Rey smiling at you. She held your hand tightly as you continued down the street, occasionally giving you a squeeze. You wondered if she was nervous, but you didn’t want to ask. You assumed everyone was a little nervous. 

No one knew what you were walking into, not even Harry. 


	14. It's Going To Be Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am halfway done with part two and I can't wait to start posting it. Only one more chapter left for part one after this.Enjoy <3

Harry stopped in front of a red phone booth. “We’re here.” 

Everyone stared at him. “A phone booth?” Matt asked. 

“Yes, a phone booth.” Harry replied. “I think it will only fit a few of us at a time, so we’ll have to take turns.”

You watched as Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Neville squeezed into the tiny booth. Luna closed the door for them and Harry picked up the phone and pressed only one button. 

“Make sure you hit zero.” He said loud enough for the rest of you to hear him. 

The phone booth seemingly turned into an elevator as Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville disappeared into the ground. Rey looked to Ginny and Luna. “I guess we’ll go next.”

The three girls crammed into the telephone booth. “See you guys on the other side!” Rey waved, just as Luna had pressed the button. You watched the three of them disappear into the ground, just as the others had before. 

“Our turn!” Matt said, pushing past Ben and getting into the booth first. 

“That’s not very gentleman-like of you, Matty.” Ben said as he held the door open for you. 

Matt rolled his eyes as you and Ben crammed into the phone booth with him. You felt weird having the two Solo boys pressed up to you so closely. 

“Watch your hands.” Ben said in your ear. 

“Oh, shut it.” You replied. 

Matt picked up the phone and pressed zero. The phone booth started to slowly move downwards, just like an elevator would. There was nothing to look at besides the grey concrete that surrounded you. You felt Ben push up against you, and you tried to avoid him by leaning more towards Matt. 

“Merlin, Ben. Give me space.” you hissed. 

“There’s no space to give!” He replied. “Get over it.”

“Stop fighting, kids.” Matt said. “We’re probably almost there anyways.” 

“Oh, are we there yet?” Ben asked and Matt let out a scoff. 

The surrounding concrete disappeared and you were now floating towards the floor of what could only be the Ministry of Magic. You saw your friends below waiting as they stood on the black tile floor. It was incredibly dark and hard to see, especially since the walls were black as well. 

The phone booth found the floor and Ben pushed the door open. All three of you came toppling out. You found your balance and was thankful not to fall. Matt’s shoes squeaked against the floor as he did the same as you. 

“Follow me.” Harry said.”And stay quiet.” He added before taking off down the corridor. 

Everyone walked at a quick pace to keep up with him with wands at the ready just in case anything happened. All you could hear was the shuffling of your feet and the light breathing between everyone around you. Harry led you all down another hall before taking a left. The Ministry was much darker than you assumed it would be. Everywhere you had been was so black and well kept. The floors were shiny and the walls looked untouched. 

Harry was now leading you all down a hallway that was similar to those you had been just walking, but this one had a door at the end. You felt your heart racing as everyone approached it. This was where it would all begin. You had a feeling something was waiting for you on the other side. The adrenaline you had felt earlier was still pumping through you, and the fire within you was still burning bright. But even with it all, you still felt scared. What if one of you got hurt? What if one of you died? What if you died? You tried to shake the negative thoughts from your mind. You signed up for this, you were already in too deep. There was no going back, and you weren’t about to just sit outside and wait until your friends were done fighting for what was right. 

Harry stopped in front of the door. Before opening it, he turned to face all of you. He looked nervous too. Ron put his hand on his friend's shoulder. “We’re with you, Harry.” 

“We’re in this together.” Ginny said, and everyone agreed. 

“Thanks, you guys.” Harry said. He turned the knob to the door and you all went inside. 

The air in here felt different. You had never been inside such a large room. It seemed like it was three times the size of the Great Hall. There were rows and rows of tall shelves with what looked to be orbs sitting on top of them. They were all clear with white and light blue colors swirling within them. The beginning of each row was marked with a letter. You looked up at the orbs and noticed that they all had tags hanging from them as well. You reached for the one closest to you to read off a name on the tag. 

_ Augustus Arnolds  _

“Don’t touch that.” Harry said to you, and you immediately stepped back. 

You started to wonder what these orbs were and if one had your name on it. Matt got your attention and you noticed that the group had started to move down one of the aisles. You caught up to them and walked slowly behind, glancing at every tag you could and trying to make out the name. It felt like someone was whispering in your ear, but you couldn’t tell where the sound was coming from. You looked around to see if it was Matt, but he was too far for it to be him. You tried to focus on the sound, but couldn’t make out any of the words. 

Was one of these orbs calling to you?

“This one says my name.” Luna said. She was looking up at one of the orbs on the second shelf. 

“Don’t touch it, Luna.” Rey said. 

You watched as your friend stared at the orb with her name, wide eyed. “It could be dangerous, Luna.” you said, placing a hand on her back and pulling her out of the orb’s trance. 

“You’re right.” She hummed. You kept your hand on her back, ushering her forward. Her eyes were still on the orb until she had to turn her head to continue to see it. 

You wondered why it was all so infatuating. What was this place? You still couldn’t figure out where the whispering was coming from and was starting to feel irritated. 

“Can you hear that?” you asked Rey. 

“Hear what?” she looked at you confused. 

“Does it sound like someone is whispering?” You asked.

“I have a ringing in my ear, but it doesn’t sound like whispering.” She replied. 

Were you going crazy? 

You followed your friends down another aisle and saw Harry standing at the very end of it. 

“Harry?” you heard Hermione call to him, but he didn’t answer. He kept his gaze on one of the orbs in front of him. 

“What’s wrong with him?” you heard Ben ask from behind you. 

“What’s wrong with any of us?” you asked, turning to look at Ben. “I’m sure he’s not the only one who is feeling hypnotized by whatever is in this room.” 

“Do you think all of us have an orb with our name on them?” Ginny asked, looking at the row of orbs in front of her. 

“I don’t know, but it could be likely. There are a lot of them in here.” You replied. 

“I want to go find my name.” Ben said. 

“No!” Hermione snapped at him. 

“Harry, what’s wrong?” You heard Neville ask as he approached his friend. 

“It wants me to pick it up.” Harry said with his gaze still on the orb. “I can see my name on it.” 

“Yes Harry, pick it up.” a voice came from down another row. 

All of you jumped and began to look for the source of the voice. A tall hooded figure appeared and started to walk towards Harry. 

You took a step back into Ben. Your hands were shaking and you didn’t know what to do. Everyone seemed to be stuck in place while the hooded figure approached Harry. 

“Don’t you want to see your prophecy, Harry?” the hooded figure asked. 

“Who the hell is this guy?” you heard Ben whisper in your ear. 

You turned your head to catch a glimpse of Rey. She looked just as nervous as you were. Her fingers were gripped tightly around her wand. 

“Back up.” Ron said to the figure, putting himself between Harry and the person approaching. 

Harry reached forward and grabbed the orb. He stared into it for a few seconds while everyone watched. 

“Now, give it to me.” the hooded figure demanded, stretching out his hand towards Harry. 

“Like hell he will!” Ron shouted at the figure. 

It was coming closer now. 

“Give me the orb, Harry.” the figure said again. 

Harry snapped out of his trance. “Where’s Sirius?” He asked, turning around to now face the figure. 

“Sirius? Not here, dear boy. No. The Dark Lord used your little connection in order to make you think that he was.” 

“That can’t be. I saw him. He was in here being tortured by Voldemort.” Harry said. 

“Do not speak the Dark Lord’s name.” the hooded figure hissed. “Now, give me the orb, Harry.”

“Stupify!” Ron yelled, and the hooded figure went flying into one of the shelves of orbs. You watched as they came falling down, shattering one by one. The white and blue colors within them escaped and slowly rose until they dissipated into thin air. 

Six black masses suddenly appeared, all looking identical to the hooded figure Ron had just sent flying. One of them immediately unleashed a spell on you, but Ben blocked it. Everything was happening so fast, it was hard to keep track of anyone. All you knew was that Ben was by your side, fighting off whoever this hooded figure was. They were yelling out spells you hadn’t learned yet as the two of you continued to block them together. 

There was no time to think. It seemed as if these figures were trying to force all of you into the same place. You felt cornered. You and Ben kept stepping back, trying your best to disarm the figure but it was no use. 

The figure was able to push you and Ben down with a spell, and you let out a scream. They walked over to him, putting their foot on his chest. 

“I thought you looked familiar.” A cold, female’s voice came. She bent down to get a better look at him. “I just can’t remember where from.” You watched as Ben squirmed under her with a look of confusion on his face. 

“Stupify!” you yelled, seeing your chance. You sent her soaring into another row of orbs. You grabbed Ben by the hand and helped him up and the two of you started to run. 

“What the hell was she going on about?” Ben asked as the two of you continued to run, desperately searching for your friends. 

You didn’t reply, but also wondered why he would look familiar to a Death Eater. 

Both of you stopped in your tracks when you heard a female scream close by. You started running directly to the source, immediately recognizing Hermione’s voice as she yelled spells at her attacker. She had managed to unmask one of the figures, and you saw it’s long blonde hair moving swiftly as it tried to back Hermione into a corner. 

“Expelliarmus!” You shouted, sending the person’s wand flying. They turned around to look at you, and you froze. Was that Draco Malfoy’s father? 

“There’s more than one of you?” you heard him say once his eyes drifted over to Ben. 

“Stupify!” Hermione shouted, and she sent the man into a rack of orbs. “We need to find Harry!” You and Ben nodded in agreement and followed her. 

Hermione led the two of you out of the room and into another. It was dark with stone steps and a giant arch. All your friends were there, fighting off these hooded figures. Some were unmasked now, but you didn’t recognize anyone like you had Draco’s father. 

You watched as one of them pushed Ginny down, and Luna came to her rescue. Harry was fighting one off alone while Matt and Nevile worked together to fend off another. A woman with crazy curly black hair cast a spell your way, and you were thankful you noticed before it hit. You blocked it. She looked surprised and continued to spew out curses as you protected yourself from them. 

You were starting to sweat. Your heart was racing, and you were scared that one small slip up would cost you your life. She kept on hurling curses at you, and you were terrified. The ones she spoke were ones that you had been warned about in previous years; they were unforgivable curses. 

A blinding white light appeared, and everyone paused for a moment confused. Then, more white light came, attacking the hooded figures. You slipped back, letting whatever it was take control of the battle. The white lights soon faded, and you realized that they were adults here to protect you. 

“Sirius!” Harry shouted at an older man with long hair. 

You didn’t know any of these people, but you didn’t have to realize that you were safe now. 

The woman with curly black hair saw that you were distracted and decided to attack. She cast a spell your way, causing you to fall back and hit your head on one of the stone steps. You cried out in pain, reaching up to feel the back of your head. You knew you were bleeding but were too scared to look. 

You looked up to see Matt over you. “It’s going to be okay!” he said, but you could tell he was scared. You wondered how much you were bleeding. It felt like you were starting to lose a lot of blood. Your vision was starting to become blurry and everyone’s voice sounded far away. 

Harry screamed and you tried to get up, but Matt wouldn’t let you. You heard the same woman who had been attacking you say “I killed Sirius Black” over and over again in a sing-songy voice. You wanted to continue fighting, but you could hardly see. 

Matt picked you up and held you in his arms. He had something in his hand that felt soft. He was holding it against the injury on your head. You tried to look at him, but all you could see were colors mixed together. 

“Matt.” you heard yourself say. 

“It’s going to be okay.” Matt said to you again. 

You believed him. His words continued to repeat over and over again in your head until you slipped into darkness. 

It’s going to be okay. 


	15. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am posting the first chapter of part two right after this! It will be chapter sixteen. Thank you to everyone reading this <3

Your eyes slowly opened. All you saw was a white ceiling and the top of a white wall. You assumed you were in a hospital. You tried to lift your head to get a better look around, but it hurt to move. 

You could hear whispering, but couldn’t make out the words. You groaned, and heard people shift about the room. A blonde head with glasses came into view. He looked down at you and smiled. “I knew you’d be okay.”

“Matt.” Was all you could manage to say. 

“Luna is here too. Ben and Rey have been in and out since you’ve been in here. We’ve been waiting for you to wake up.” He said. Matt saw the confused look on your face and decided to continue. “It’s only been three days. It’s not like you’ve been unconscious for months, don’t worry.” 

You heard someone enter. “Step back.” A female voice that you didn’t recognize ordered Matt to move. “They just woke up, give them some space.”

You assumed whoever it was happened to be a nurse. You wanted to tell them it was okay, you wanted to talk to your friends. You wanted to know what had happened. 

“Let them rest.” The nurse said. 

Rest? You had been resting for three days. You listened as the nurse left the room. Matt and Luna shuffled over to you, both their faces coming into your point of view.

“You hit your head.” Luna said in her airy voice. 

“No shit.” you thought. 

“You passed out. I picked you up and ran to an exit. I knew I had to get you to a hospital, you were losing a lot of blood. I was scared. You had a huge gash in the back of your head from where you fell.” Matt said. “Totally ruined my clothes.” He added with a laugh. 

“While Matt was getting you to the hospital we were able to fend off those Death Eaters with the help of the Order of the Phoenix.”They were the ones who showed up to help.”

“Harry?” you asked. You were frustrated that you couldn’t say much else. You wanted to know if your friend was okay. You wanted to know if  _ everyone  _ was okay. But you were more worried for him, especially since you had heard him yelling before everything went black. 

“His godfather was killed. He chased after Bellatrix, the one who did it, and none of us could stop him. Voldemort appeared to him, and he fought him off until Dumbledore came to his rescue.” Luna said. “So, Harry is ok. And people believe him now too.”

You felt your insides go warm. You were happy that Harry finally got justice, but were sad for his loss. You knew how much his godfather meant to him. 

The door to your room opened again, and you were nervous it was the nurse. You heard footsteps coming towards you and a familiar male voice ask, “Are they awake yet?” 

Definitely Ben Solo. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” You heard Rey say while she grabbed your hand. 

“Me too.” Ben said, pushing Matt away and sitting on your bed. “Thought you were a goner.” 

“Shut up, Ben.” Matt said while shoving his brother lightly. 

“Well, lucky you because you don’t have to go back to Hogwarts for the remaining year.” Rey said. 

“Why?” you asked, trying to shift in your bed. 

“Dumbledore’s excused you. He’s actually excused all of us.” Luna replied. 

“Why?” you asked again. 

“The press has been all over us. They’re trying to get any bit they can from anyone who was there that night.” Rey said. 

“You’re lucky to be in this hospital, no one is around to harrass you.” Ben said. 

“Yeah, lucky.” Matt rolled his eyes at his brother. “I’m sure they’d rather be healthy instead of healing from a head injury, you idiot.” 

“Dumbledore doesn’t want anyone bugging us. I’m sure he knows that we’re all a bit traumatized by what happened…” Luna trailed off. 

“Yeah.” you replied. 

Though you thought you’d be excited to not return to school, you felt your stomach dropped. Even though you and Kylo had ended on a bad note, you wanted to see him before the start of summer. Now you wouldn’t be able to see him until the beginning of the next school year. 

“Anyways, you’ll be out of here in no time. Then you’ll be able to head home and recover over the summer.” Matt said. “But, you better write me.” 

You gave Matt a look. Of course you’d write your best friend. 

“You better write all of us.” Rey said, giving her cousin a look. 

“You better all write me back.” you managed to get out. 

“Duh.” Matt responded. 

You heard the door open, this time knowing it had to be the nurse. “All of you! Leave them be!” she said, trying to shoo your friends away. 

“We’ll see you later.” Rey said, giving your hand a squeeze. 

“Don’t be slipping back into a coma!” Ben said to you, and you watched Matt push him over. 

“Not funny.” Matt said. 

“It’s fine.” you smiled. 

“Rest up.” Luna said, putting her hand on your leg. 

“I’ll see you soon.” Matt promised. 

Your friends left the room, leaving you alone with the nurse. 

“How are your pain levels?” she asked, looking down at you. 

You hadn’t really noticed how bad your head hurt until your friends were gone. “8 out of 10.” you responded. 

“I’ll give you something that’ll help with the pain.” She said. “It’ll help you sleep too.” 

You watched as she injected something into your IV pouch. You hadn’t realized it was later in the evening, but it was probably because you couldn’t turn to look out any windows. The medication started to set in, and you felt your headache start to fade. Your eyes grew heavy and your body did too. 

Before you fell asleep, all you could remember thinking about was how happy you were to know all your friends were okay. 

-

You stood on the platform waiting for the next train. Harry, Hermione, Ginny, and Ron had already gone home the week that you were still recovering in the hospital. Hermione had sent you a get well soon card with a thoughtful letter written inside it. Harry had also sent you a letter, thanking you for being there that night at the Ministry. 

Luna left briefly after them. She made sure to stop by and say goodbye to you before returning home. Neville was with her, too. He had brought you a plant and left it on the bedside table. The two of them spent a few hours with you before saying goodbye for the summer. Neither of you discussed what had happened at the Ministry that night. No one really seemed to discuss it. It was like a pact between the group of you, no one spoke of it but everyone knew it happened. 

You watched as Matt and Ben joked around with each other on the platform while Rey kept her distance. Their train was coming right after yours, and you were thankful to be able to see them before all of you parted ways. Out of all of them, you saw Matt the most while in the hospital. He spent a lot of his time sitting beside your bed, and often ended up falling asleep and staying late into the night. Rey would visit at least once a day, and Ben would every other. 

You were thankful for your friends.

Your train pulled up to the platform, and you turned to look at your friends. Though you were thankful they were here, you were still sad that Kylo wasn’t. Hogwarts still had a week and a half left of school, and since Kylo refused to go to the Ministry that night he didn’t get to leave early. You wondered if he was mad at you for leaving, or if he was hurt by you refusing to let him kiss you. You didn't want it to matter, especially since he couldn’t have picked a worse time to try and kiss you. But, you still wanted to make things right. Even though he got on your nerves, you still cared about him. 

You still liked him too. 

Matt pulled you into a hug and kissed you on the forehead. “I am going to miss you so much!” he yelled, his voice echoing throughout the platform. 

“Matt, please spare me the embarrassment.” you joked as he released you from the hug. 

Ben pulled you into a hug next. “Stay out of trouble, kid.” he said. 

“Me? You’re the one who gets into trouble.” you said. “Especially with your birthday coming up. Don’t go too crazy.” 

“Dad would never let that happen.” Matt replied. 

“Or Mom.” Ben chimed in and they both laughed. 

“Take care of yourself.” Rey said. 

“You too, Rey.” you grabbed your friend and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you for everything this year.” 

“Same to you. Hopefully next year won’t have to be as crazy.” she laughed. 

“Definitely, I could use a break. Especially after all that studying for OWL’s. I hope it gets a little easier.” you replied. 

“Me too.” She smiled. 

“I love you guys.” you said, smiling at your friends as you got ready to board your train. You listened as they told you they loved you back, and you felt your chest grow warm. “See you all soon.” You waved your last goodbye and stepped onto the train. 

You found your seat and watched your friends out the window. They all had big smiles on their faces, waving to you as your train started to move. Matt jokingly ran alongside you for a few seconds, blowing kisses and yelling about how much he’ll miss you. You laughed at your friend and blew one back. 

Though the year had been crazy, you wouldn’t have been able to get through it with your friends. You were looking forward to getting home and spending time with family. You already knew your father was waiting for your train to arrive, and you were so excited to see him. You promised yourself that this summer you’d let yourself relax and not stress too much over school. You also told yourself you weren’t allowed to be fixated on Kylo all summer either. 

This was a summer for you to heal and become a stronger version of yourself. You had already surprised yourself so much this year, you were excited for what the future held. Dumbledore would be back at Hogwarts and Umbridge wouldn’t be anywhere in sight. You let out a sigh of relief. 

Hogwarts would finally feel like home again. 


	16. Sixth Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the start to part two, which is year six! Reader will be going through some character development as well as making some mistakes. Also, there will finally be smut in part two. Thank you to everyone reading <3

You stood just outside of the train station in London. You watched as your father’s car disappeared down the road, still waving as if he could see you. He had just dropped you off with your luggage for your sixth year at Hogwarts. You were beyond excited to see your friends and be back, especially after everything that had happened last year. 

You walked through the busy station, passing muggles as they hurried across the platform. You wondered what it’d be like to see all your friends again. You hadn’t seen anyone since you said your goodbyes to them before the start of summer. You kept your promises, though, and wrote to all your friends. And thankfully, they all wrote back. 

Well, except for Kylo. You hadn’t received anything from him at all the entire summer. Not even a thank you for the birthday gift you had sent him. You’d be lying if you said your feelings weren’t hurt, but you just hoped everything was alright. You definitely did not want things to be awkward between the two of you. 

Rey wrote to you about how she had been practicing quidditch, of course. You wondered when she would just admit to herself that she should become a professional quidditch player, but her father really wants her to go into their family business. Luna told you about all the creatures her and her father had tracked down to study through her letters. You weren’t surprised that that was how her summer was spent. Neville and you shared letters back and forth about herbology and plants, and you and Ben wrote to each other only a few times to check in on one another. 

Nothing too much. 

Matt wrote you the most. You were receiving letters from your best friend at least twice a week. It was almost difficult for you to keep up with writing back. Matt seemed concerned for you and your wellbeing, especially after everything that had happened. You were thankful for such a caring friend, but you assured him you were alright. 

You also received a few letters from Hermione and Harry. One was a thank you from Harry. Hermione wanted to talk about what classes you had decided for your sixth year. Sixth year was important because all the classes were now advanced and pointed towards your future career goals. It didn’t surprise anyone when you said you wanted a career in herbology. 

You approached the wall between platform 9 and 10. You took a look around to make sure no one was looking before charging at the wall to platform 9 ¾. You were met by the sounds of students rushing around the platform, some loading the luggage onto the train while others were saying goodbye to family members. You saw Ginny and Ron Weasley across the way getting showered in kisses by their mother and it made you smile. 

“Can I load up your luggage for you?”

You turned around to see Matt standing behind you with a giant smile on his face. You let out a screech of joy and jumped into his arms. “I take that as a yes!” he laughed as he hugged you back. 

“Matty, I’ve missed you so much!” You said, not wanting to let go of your friend. 

“I’ve missed you too.” He replied. 

“Hey, it’s my turn!” 

Matt was pushed to the side by his brother, Ben. You hugged him, happy to see him after the long summer break. 

“You been okay?” He asked after letting go, and you nodded in response. 

“Come on, let’s get on the train before it leaves without us.” Matt said. You had noticed that he already loaded your luggage and you were thankful. “Rey and Luna are waiting.” 

Your heart almost burst at the sound of your two friend’s names. You knew you missed your friends, but you didn’t realize how much you truly did. Summers could be boring since everyone lived so far away from each other. You hoped after seventh year that you’d all end up living in the same area so it was easier to see each other. 

You and the two boys hopped on the train and started down the narrow hallway. You looked into every window to see who was sitting with who in the divided sections. You saw Cho and Jael and gave them a wave. Hermione and Ron were sitting alone in another and you wondered where Harry was. You passed another that was full of Slytherins. You saw Draco and Armitage Hux sitting awfully close to each other with Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle, and Phasma. You also saw Neville, Seamus, Dean, and Finn in another. Neville and Finn quickly came out to give you a hug as you passed by which made you feel even more like you were at home. 

Though you were able to see so many familiar faces, you wondered where Kylo was. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t be able to search the train without getting some questions from your friends, nor did you feel as if you could ask his brothers where he was. You assumed he would have been with them, but maybe things got tense over the summer. 

You followed Matt and Ben through a sliding glass door to find Rey, Luna, and Ginny waiting. The three of them stood up to give you hugs. Rey was first, of course, pulling you into a tight squeeze. When she let go you could have sworn she bruised your ribs. “Working out extra this summer?” you asked and she laughed. 

Luna was second, and her gentle touch almost made the world stand still. She hugged you softly while rubbing your back a few times before letting go. “Doing alright?” she asked. You nodded and wondered if she could tell that you were worried about Kylo. 

Ginny was last, which didn’t surprise you since the two of you weren’t super close. The hug was fast, but you were still thankful to see her. You wondered why she was spending time with Rey and Luna, especially since you hadn’t noticed them being close friends before. 

The train ride to Hogwarts was the best one you had ever had. Matt and Ben bought a ton of candy from the trolly to share with everyone, Ginny brought some items from Fred, George and Poe’s joke shop that they had started, and Luna showed all of you some photos of the creatures she managed to track over the summer. It felt so relieving to be in the presence of all your friends that you forgot about Kylo for the entire train ride. You couldn’t help but smile. Ben had his arm around your shoulders playfully while Luna sat on your other side. The scenery outside even seemed more beautiful than before. The sun was shining down on the rolling grass hills and mountains that you passed. You felt so comfortable and happy. 

You felt at home. 

The ride went by so quickly, you were surprised when the train started to slow down. Night had fallen and you listened as Hagrid directed first years towards him. You took a deep breath once outside, tasting the fresh air. You and your friends were given a carriage and you boarded it, wishing you could see the thestrals that were pulling you. You couldn’t believe that all those previous years you had thought the carriage was pulling itself. 

Riding up to the castle was just as beautiful as you remembered it. The lights from the windows were glowing bright, almost putting the stars in the sky to shame. You were thankful for a clear night since the weather was mild and you didn’t need to put a cape on over your robes. You were snuggled up between Matt and Rey. The gentle lullying of the carriage plus the body heat of your two friends made you feel sleepy. 

You watched the castle grow larger as your carriage approached. It came to a halt and Ben held out his hand to help you out. “Thank you.” you said, feeling yourself blush. 

“Good to see you learned some manners over the summer.” Hux said as him and his friends passed by. 

“Oh, go f-” Ben started but stopped as soon as he saw Rey giving him a dirty look. 

“Not even here for an hour and you’re already getting yourself into fights.” She huffed. 

“What?” he said, looking confused. “Hux started it, give me a break.” 

“I’m trying to avoid as much confrontation and mischief as I can this year.” Rey said. “Last year seemed about enough for me. I’m sure we’ll all be the talk of the castle, anyways. We’ve got to all be on our best behavior.” 

“Do you think they’re going to kick us all out or something?” Matt said to his cousin. 

“Who knows, but I think we were lucky to not be expelled last year.” Rey replied. 

“Dumbledore would never do that to us.” You said. 

“Yeah, what did your dad say to you over the summer to make you such a hard ass, Rey?” Ben laughed. 

“Don’t be mean.” Luna said to Ben. 

“He just said to be careful, that’s all.” Rey replied. 

“Don’t worry too much, Rey. I’m sure this year won’t be anything like the last.” You tried to reassure your friend. “Plus, classes will be keeping us in line as well.” 

“Yeah, don’t remind me.” Rey laughed. “I’m looking forward to the new year but I’m also not.”

“I feel that.” Matt responded. 

You approached the open doors of the castle. You and every other student that wasn’t a first year were moving orderly among each other and making way into the Great Hall. You held hands with Rey and entered the massive room, saying your goodbyes to Matt and Ben quickly as they seperated to go to their houses’ tables. You glanced over at Gryffindor’s trying to find Kylo, but didn’t see him. 

Making your way to Ravenclaw’s table, you choose a seat where you had a view of the Gryffindor’s. Luna and Rey sat on either side of you, and you felt yourself start to worry. You watched as students continued to flood into the Hall, keeping your eye out for Kylo. The crowd started to wear thin, and you came to the conclusion that you wouldn’t be seeing him. 

After everyone was seated, the first years were brought in. You looked around at all of them as they stared in awe of the Great Hall’s ceiling. Dumbledore stood and cleared his throat, causing a silence to fall over everyone. He began the same speech he had given all the previous years, as well as going over the rules of the castle. He also welcomed back an old professor who went by the name of Slughorn. 

The first years were sorted into their houses soon after, and you cheered for each new Ravenclaw. The first feast of the year began, and you tried your best to eat without thinking too much about Kylo’s absence. You desperately wanted to ask his brothers where he was, but you felt like they’d make fun of you for caring. Plus, you figured they would have mentioned it by now. You wondered if Rey or Luna could tell something was off, but you tried your best to act like everything was fine. 

Once dinner was over, the three of you made your way to Ravenclaw tower. You saw a few friends in the halls and gave them a smile. You were curious who you’d have classes with this year and hoped that you’d be with a lot of your friends. You, Rey, and Luna caught up with Cho and Jael and walked the rest of the way together. Cho told you guys about how excited she was to be in her seventh year and that she had a job lined up for after graduation. Her and Jael planned on moving to London together after this year, and you could tell the two best friends were incredibly excited. 

You were envious of them. You thought it’d be so much fun living in the city with your closest friends. But, you knew your time would come. You said goodbye to the two girls and parted ways as they climbed the stairs to their dorm. Yours was just the way as it always had been. A beautiful view of the mountains and forest and a nice window sill to sit in and admire it all. All your luggage was waiting for you, and the three of you continued to chat as you started to put things away. 

All three of you wanted to get a good night’s sleep before the first day, so you decided to retire early for the night. Rey laughed at how much of stereotypical Ravenclaw’s you all were, but the sixth year was incredibly important. And like she said, she wanted to stay out of trouble. 

You curled up in your bed, facing the window. You could hear your friend’s shallow breaths as they slowly started to fall asleep. You caught one list glimpse of the moon before closing your eyes. Hopefully this year will be better. It couldn’t be worse than last, that was for sure. You kept trying to fall asleep, but your thoughts were trying to keep you up. 

Where was Kylo? 


	17. Splendid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys sorry for not updating, school started and I literally forgot about posting. I feel so bad! Enjoy this next chapter.

You yawned as you sat down for breakfast with your two friends, Rey and Luna. You watched as Professor Flitwick passed out the schedules, hoping you and your friends had picked similar classes to each other. You decided to do a smaller course load this year, especially since you’d heard how much homework professors gave out during the sixth year. 

“Hello, hello!” Flitwick said to the three of you. “How was your summer’s? Stay out of trouble, I presume?” He handed a rolled up piece of parchment to Luna. 

“Yes, Professor.” Luna responded. “Thank you.” 

“Well, isn’t that good!” He said, passing Rey her schedule. “No more Ministry runs, I hope!” He handed you yours, and then continued to make his way down the table.

“Merlin.” Rey said, covering her face with her hands. 

“I’m sure he got quite the earful from someone higher up.” Luna replied. “You know, since three of his students disappeared and fought off Death E-”

“Luna, please.” Rey said, getting her friend to be quiet. 

Someone snatched your schedule up from behind you. “Hey!” you shouted, turning to see Matt. “I haven’t even gotten a look at it yet.” 

“Not my fault you’re so slow.” He said, unrolling the parchment. You watched his eyes dance across the paper. “Wait, you’re not taking Defense Against the Dark Arts?”

“No, I don’t really need to.” You replied as he made a sad face. “I don’t need to know that in order to be a herbalist.” 

“You fucking plant nerd.” Matt said, handing you back your schedule. “We only have ONE class together.” He scrunched his face up and pretended to weep. “And last year I could hardly survive with just two classes together.”

“I’m sure you’ll survive this year too, Matt.” You said to your friend. 

“I don’t know, with Poe gone I don’t really have any buddies in my house.” Matt complained. 

“Make new friends, weirdo.” Rey replied. 

“It’s not that easy!” Matt said. 

You listened to Rey and Matt argue as you looked over your schedule. Herbology and Potions Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with a free period during the evening. Care of Magical Creatures and Charms on Tuesday and Thursday with a free period also in the evening. It honestly seemed like a perfect schedule to you. You didn’t have to take Charms, but you wanted to since it was your Head of House’s class. Plus you wanted to be able to use your wand a little bit this year. 

“Do we have anything similar?” Luna asked, handing you her schedule while Rey and Matt continued to argue. 

“It looks like we’re both taking Charms and Care for Magical Creatures.” you replied, handing her her schedule with a smile. You grabbed Rey’s schedule from off the table and scanned over it. You were surprised to see she was taking Herbology. It made you smile. 

She noticed you were looking over her schedule and shooed Matt away. “What do we have?” she asked. 

“Herbology.” you replied. “I’m surprised you decided to take it. 

“Well, my dad did grow up on a farm. I figured it would make him happy.” she replied. “What about Charms?”

“Charms too.” You said. 

“Hell yeah.” Rey replied. “We should probably get going to Herbology.” 

You nodded your head in agreement. “I’ll see you later today.” You said to Luna. 

You and Rey said goodbye to Luna and made your way out to the greenhouses. You were excited for your first day but disappointed that you didn’t see Kylo at breakfast. You figured he had gotten there before you and hoped to see him at some point in the day. It felt like you needed to see him or else you wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about him. 

The two of you entered the main greenhouse and you were excited to see Gryffindor’s inside. Neville came up to you first and greeted you with a giant smile on his face. You were excited to have another year in Herbology together. You scanned the room and noticed that Ben and Kylo were not present, and you weren’t surprised. They never seemed to be interested in the subject. 

You took a seat next to Neville and Rey sat on your other side. Hermione and Ron were on the other side of Neville, and you said hello to them both. “I’m surprised to see you in here.” you said to Ron. 

“I figured it would be an easy class to take.” He admitted while Hermione rolled her eyes. “I wanted at least one.” He shrugged. 

“I think you’d be surprised.” Neville responded. “I don’t think any classes are easy during the sixth year.” 

“That’s what I tried to tell him.” Hermione said. 

“Well, good luck.” You said to Ron. “If you need any help, I’m sure we can all assist.” 

“Guys, I’ll be fine.” Ron insisted. 

Before anyone could continue, Professor Sprout addressed the class. As she talked, she passed out pieces of what looked like small, dead logs. Professor Sprout put one down in front of Ron and Hermione, and you watched as Ron reached for it and she slapped his hand away. 

“Snargaluff’s.” Neville leaned in to whisper to you, and you nodded. 

“Alright everyone, I need you to carefully extract the pods that are within these Snargaluff’s. You should know how to do so if you did your summer readings!” Professor Sprout said. 

Thankfully, you had done your summer reading. Snargaluff’s could be quite difficult to retrieve pods from, especially since they had thorn like tentacles that would attack when feeling threatened. 

“One of us has to distract it while the other gets the pods.” Rey said. “I can distract it if someone will do the other part.”

You nodded. “I’ll grab the pods. Just make sure you put on some gloves.” 

Rey reached into her bag and pulled out a pair of gloves and slipped them on. “Ready?” she asked. 

“Ready.” You replied. 

You watched as your friend touched around on the base of the log until the green, thorn like tentacles emerged. They latched onto Rey’s hand and you were quick to dig into the other side and look around for the green bulbs. You pried a few off and placed them into a bowl while Neville helped Rey get the tentacles to let go. 

“We make a pretty good team.” You said while looking around the room and watching others struggle with theirs. 

“That was quick.” Professor Sprout said as she approached your table. “I’ll get you a few more to extract.” 

“Great.” Rey said. You were sure she was hoping that since the three of you finished early you’d be released early. Unfortunately, Professor Sprout expected a lot from you and Neville since you were both her best students. 

“Great indeed!” Neville repeated excitedly.

Professor Sprout returned and dumped the Snargaluff’s onto the table. The three of you got back to work taking turns on who would distract the tentacles and who would remove the bulbs. By the time class was over, you had completed 6 in total. 

“I’d like a five page paper on the extraction process of a Snargaluff by next class!” Professor Sprout shouted to everyone as they filed out of the classroom. 

“Five pages?” Rey said to you. “We really won’t be getting any breaks, will we.” She groaned. 

“Welcome to the sixth year at Hogwarts.” You laughed. You couldn’t believe it either. Five page essay due in less than two days? Sixth year must be as bad as everyone says. 

“I’ve got Defense Against the Dark Arts with Matt next period.” Rey said as the two of you approached the castle. 

“Good luck with that. Hopefully this year they’ll find a teacher and stick with them.” You replied. 

“Yeah, I doubt it.” Rey said. “I’ll see you at dinner?” she asked, and you nodded. 

“See you, I have a free period this evening too if you want to study.” you said. 

“I’d love that!” Rey shouted over the sea of students as she made her way in the opposite direction.

You waved at her and headed down towards the dungeons. You entered the room to see yet again Gryffindor robes. You saw Hermione sitting alone and decided to join her. “If I had known you had this class next, I would have walked with you.” She said when she saw you. 

“Next time.” You smiled at her while pulling out your book. 

“Oh yes! We have a class together?” You heard Ben say from behind you. 

“Shhh, Ben. Are you really trying to piss Snape off on the first day of class?” You gave him a dirty look. 

“No Snape this year.” Ben said, pulling a chair up next to you. 

“What are you talking about?” you said, looking around the room. 

“The Professor that Dumbledore brought back for this year is teaching potions.” Ben replied. 

“Then where’s Snape?” Hermione asked. 

“Beats me. Hopefully gone for good.” Ben replied. 

“There’s no way. Especially since he’s a Head of House.” You said. 

“A man can dream.” Ben said, pretending to stare off into the distance. “Hopefully Slughorn is nicer.” 

You turned at just the right time to watch Kylo walk through the door. You felt your heart skip a beat and you quickly turned back around. 

“You alright?” Hermione asked and you nodded. 

Finally, you were able to see Kylo. Even though you thought it would help you feel better, you somehow felt worse. Your hands were sweating and you felt shaky. You just hoped that Ben of all people wouldn’t notice. You turned around again to get a quick glance at him and saw that he was sitting towards the back with Dean and Seamus. 

“Alright, class! Welcome to your first day of potions. I am Professor Slughorn and it is so great to have you here with me.” Professor Slughorn began. “Now today I’d like for you to get into groups of five and work together on brewing your own amortentia potions. Can anyone tell me what those are?” 

Hermione’s hand shot up into the air. “Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. It is distinctive for its mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from the potion in spirals. Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what attracts them.” 

“Very good, Ms. Granger!” Professor Slughorn beamed at her. “Very impressive, ten points to Gryffindor!” 

You nudged your friend and smiled at her. “You really should have been a Ravenclaw.” you whispered. 

“Very good, now you have until the end of the class to produce your potion. Please, follow the directions carefully. I don’t want any accidents on the first day!” Slughorn said before dismissing the class to do their work. 

Harry and Ron joined the three of you, and together you worked on your potions. You looked over the list of ingredients before heading to the herb shelf. Ben followed behind you, watching your every move and picking up whatever you did. 

“Did you even read the recipe?” you asked, not even bothering to give him eye contact. 

“I will.” he said. “Just grabbing ingredients first.”

“How do you know what to grab if you haven’t read the recipe?” you asked. 

“Oh trust me, I know what to grab.” He said. 

You turned to look at him and he made a squeezing motion towards your butt. You rolled your eyes and slapped his hand away. “Yeah, good luck with that.” 

You returned to your cauldron and began chopping up ingredients. You looked around the room and saw Kylo focused on his own work even though he was sharing a table with Neville, Dean, Seamus, and another Gryffindor boy named Sawyer. You heard an explosion and looked to see a Gryffindor girl standing next to her cauldron with smoke coming from her hair. 

“Careful now!” Slughorn said while some of her friends laughed. 

You were careful to mix the ingredients properly, and both you and Hermione were done way before anyone else. You leaned in to smell the potion, and it did indeed smell like all your favorite things. There was just one you did not want to admit, and it was because you knew it was the smell of Kylo’s natural scent. 

“Very good, you two. I didn’t think anyone would be finished so quickly. I would love to speak to you two after class.” Slughorn said after checking yours and Hermione’s potions. “You also, Harry.” He added before walking away. 

“Help me with mine.” Ben whined. 

“Oh? I thought you had it all figured out.” You said, relaxing into your chair. 

“I need you now.” Ben complained. 

“Need me? That’s a lot to admit, Ben.” you said with a smile. 

“I’ve needed you since we had that little encounter at that party last year.” he said under his breath, and you felt your heart start to race. 

“Don’t bring that up right now.” You said, annoyed with him and thankful that he had said it so quietly. 

“But, later?” He asked, and you hit the back of his head with a book. 

“Never.” You said. 

“Don’t say never.” Ben replied. “I’m sure you’ve thought back to it too.” He leaned in and winked at you. 

“You’re so annoying.” You said. “Let’s just finish your potion so you can leave me be, how about that?” 

“It’ll buy you some time.” Ben replied. 

You looked over his ingredients. “You didn’t even grab the right stuff.” You groaned, getting up to grab more items from the shelf in the back. You returned and set them on the table. “This could be avoided if, you know, you read the recipe.” 

Ben rolled his eyes. 

“You gotta actually try this year, Ben. Looks won’t get you everywhere for the rest of your life.” You said while chopping up ingredients. 

“Don’t remind me.” Ben said, now sitting up in his chair and helping. “Thank you for helping.” 

“Yeah, don’t mention it. Just try to do more than the bare minimum next class.” you said, and he nodded. 

You were able to help Ben complete the potion, and class ended soon after that. You, Hermione, and Harry held back to talk to Slughorn. 

“Now, you three are quite impressive. I’d like to invite you to one of my Slug Club meetings!” He said with excitement. “I only ask the best of the best students. You three have caught my attention, on the first day too, so I just have to have you!” 

The three of you exchanged a glance at one another before anyone answered. Harry, of course, was the one to do so. 

“That would be great, Professor.” He said. 

You and Hermione nodded in agreement. 

“Splendid! This friday, around 9pm. Please meet in my office.” Slughorn said. 

“Sounds good.” You replied. 

“Wonderful, I’ll see you three on Wednesday.” Slughorn said, and the three of you walked out together. 

“Best of the best.” Hermione said once you were out of earshot. 

“Don’t act too surprised.” You laughed. “Hermione, we all know you're the best of the best. You’ve been told that the entire time you’ve been at this school.” 

She smiled at you. “I feel bad for the other students, though. It feels quite selective and not very inclusive.” 

“Agreed.” You said and Harry nodded. “I wonder who else will be there.” 

“At least we know the three of us will be.” Harry said. 

“Yeah, wouldn’t it suck if we had showed up alone and it was just a bunch of Slytherin’s or something?” you said, and the three of you laughed. 

“Where are you headed?” Hermione asked. 

“This is my free period. I was thinking about getting an early dinner and then heading to the library.” You replied. 

“Great idea. I think I’ll join you.” she said. “If that’s alright.”

“Of course.” you responded with a smile. 

“I’m going to go try and find Ron.” Harry said. “I’ll see you two.” 

You and Hermione said goodbye to Harry as he went off in another direction. 

“How was your summer?” You asked Hermione as the two of you made your way to the Great Hall. 

“Oh, you know. Same as usual. Spent a lot of it studying.” She responded. “What about you? Have you been doing alright?”

“Alright?” You looked at her confused. 

“Yeah, you know. After everything.” 

You paused before answering. Hermione was the first one to ask how you’ve been after everything happened. “I think I’m alright.” You said. 

“Well, if you don’t think you are, just let me know if you need anything.” She said as the two of you sat together at the Ravenclaw table. “I’ve been through a lot with Harry and Ron. I love them to death but it can be too intense sometimes. My parents had me in therapy for a few years. It was really helpful. But, of course, I couldn’t see a muggle therapist.” She laughed. 

“Thanks, Hermione.” you smiled. 

“Some people think talking about things isn’t going to do any good, but I disagree. It’s good to talk about how we feel.” She said and she started to put some food onto her plate. 

You thought for a moment to talk to her about Kylo, but you chickened out. You weren’t ready to admit to someone other than Neville your feelings for him. 

The two of you ate dinner together. Rey and Luna joined when you were almost finished. You and Hermione waited for them to eat until the four of you made your way to the library. You took note that Kylo was yet again not at dinner, but you figured maybe he was eating later. You didn’t see a lot of your friends at dinner, which is why you gave him the benefit of the doubt. 

As the four of you walked to the library, you had a run in with Matt. “You would NOT believe who’s the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.” Matt said as he approached. 

“Who is it?” you asked, trying not to laugh at the look on Matt’s face. 

“It’s fucking Snape! Of all people.” Matt replied. 

Hermione let out a snort. “That’s surprising.” She said. 

“Well, at least he finally got the teaching position he wanted.” You said. “Thank Merlin I’m not taking those classes this year.” 

“Yeah, lucky you.” Matt said. “Where are you guys headed?” He asked. 

“Library, to do some studying.” Luna replied.

“Want to join us?” You asked. 

“I probably should, shouldn’t I.” Matt replied. “Snape assigned some crazy reading assignment that I have to finish before Wednesday. Plus I have to write a piece on what I read too.” He let out a loud groan before you all entered the library. 

“How many pages do you have to read?” You asked as you started to pass study tables in the library to get to your regular one in the back. You took note of how many sixth years you saw already working on their homework. 

“84 pages. And then write a three page paper on what I read about.” Matt whined as the group of you sat down. 

“That’s rough.” Rey replied. “And I thought I had it bad.”

“Don’t remind me.” Matt groaned. 

“Well, lucky for you, we’ve all got homework so no one will be much of a distraction to another.” You smiled at Matt, giving him a squeeze on his shoulder. 

“Yeah, you’ve got this Matt. Don’t worry.” Luna chimed in. 

All five of you spent what felt like forever in the library. You had finished your paper for herbology and looked up and the clock. Three hours had already passed. You glanced at your friends, all of them nose deep in their studies. 

“I think I’m going to head to bed.” You said, pulling your friends from their homework trance. 

“You’re done already?” Matt whined. 

“Yes, Matt.” you said as you started to pack up your things. 

“I’m still not done with my paper.” Rey said, taking note that yours was finished. “Can I look over yours?”

“Sure, just don’t lose it.” You laughed, handing it to your friend. “I’ll see you guys later.”

“You’ll be fine walking alone?” Luna asked. 

“Oh course, Lunes. You know me, I like my alone time.” You smiled and waved bye to your friends before heading towards Ravenclaw Tower. 

This year already felt so much better than last, though last year still seemed to linger. You knew you shouldn’t be afraid of walking the halls at night anymore, but you still were. You turned a corner and jumped. Three Gryffindor’s were walking down the hall in your direction, and you sighed in relief. The closer they got, you realized it was Finn, Neville, and...Kylo. 

“Fuck.” You thought to yourself. You quickly turned around, thinking there would be a chance they hadn’t noticed you, but you froze once hearing Neville shout your name. 

You stopped and waited for them to catch up to you. You were holding your breath and felt like an idiot when you took a deep exhale once they were within earshot. 

“Hey, have you finished that paper for herbology yet?” Neville asked. 

You kept your eyes on Neville, refusing to look in the direction of Kylo. “Yes, I did just a couple minutes ago. Why, what’s up?” You felt like Kylo was burning holes into you; you knew for a fact that his gaze was on you. 

“I did too, I just wanted to read over yours and do some comparisons. Do you mind?” Neville asked. 

“Sorry, Neville. Rey has it.” You apologized. “I’ll let you look over it tomorrow, though. If that’s alright?”

“Sure, no problem.” He said. 

“Great, I’ll catch you tomorrow. Later, guys.” You nodded to Finn and Neville, still ignoring Kylo, and walked quickly past them and towards Ravenclaw Tower. 

“Kill me.” you thought. You felt so awkward and uncomfortable from the interaction. You wondered if you were possibly being a little dramatic, but when things came to Kylo they often were as weird as they seemed. 

You climbed Ravenclaw Tower quickly. You were looking forward to having your dorm to yourself. You said hello to a few fellow housemates as you passed through the common room and made your way upstairs. You threw your robe off and loosened your tie before taking a seat in the window sill. You looked out over the forest and mountains, taking deep breaths and trying to relax. You hated that your body got so over stimulated by the smallest interactions with Kylo. You wouldn’t say you loved him but...you definitely had a big crush on him. It made you feel stupid, especially since he didn’t return a single letter to you over the summer. He said he cared about you and that he liked you, but if he really did would he have treated you like that? Or maybe he was over you because of what happened that night before you left for the Ministry. 

You sighed deeply. Maybe you blew it with him. 


	18. Idiot

The second day of classes seemed to go by much slower than the first and you had no idea why. Well, you had an idea, but you didn’t want to admit it to yourself. You looked down at your breakfast, not feeling hungry. 

“You need to eat.” Luna said. 

“I’m just not hungry this morning.” You replied, pushing your plate back so that you could rest your elbows on the table. You glanced over at the Slytherin table and saw Matt talking to a few seventh years. “Looks like he’s making friends, maybe.” You said. 

“Good. It’s important to like at least a few people in your own house.” Rey responded. 

“Yeah. Not all Slytherins are bad. They just get a lot of shit.” You said, trying to be positive for your friend. 

“You guys have Care for Magical Creatures this morning, right?” Rey asked. 

You nodded your head. “With Slytherin, apparently.” 

“Have fun with that.” she replied while standing and grabbing her book back. “I’m going to my first class. I’ll see you two later for charms.” 

“See you.” both you and Luna said. 

“We should probably get going too.” Luna said. 

“Yeah, probably.” You looked over to Matt again. “Let’s grab Matt so we can all walk together.”

Luna nodded in agreement and you both rose from your seats. You waved at Matt to get his attention and he stood up quickly. “Coming!” He shouted over the heads of students and you felt yourself go a little red with embarrassment. 

“You’re so loud.” You groaned once he approached. 

“You’ve known me for six years now, that shouldn’t be anything surprising.” He replied, laughing. 

“The two of you balance me out.” You said to both Luna and Matt. Luna was calm and relaxing, Matt was loud and sometimes a little stressful. But, you still loved him. 

“Guess we’re all perfect for each other.” Luna hummed, and you agreed. 

The three of you made your way out towards Hagrid’s hut where students formed for class when the weather was nice out. Hagrid was already standing outside saying hello to students with a giant smile on his face. 

“Well, hello!” his voice boomed as he saw the three of you approach. “So happy ya decided ter continue with the class this year.” 

“Of course, Hagrid. It’s one of my favorites.” Luna replied. 

“Same here, I wouldn’t miss it.” you said. 

“Glad ter hear, glad ter hear!” Hagrid said. “Well, this looks like the lot of ya. Today we’ll be looking fer the glumbumble. If ya didn’t do yer summer readings, yer more than welcome to look them up in yer book before you go out looking for ‘em. When ya find some, I want yer to study ‘em. Don’t touch! They secrete a liquid that brings on a certain sadness ya won’t wanna experience.” 

“You two already know what that is, I’m guessing. Right?” Matt said to you and Luna. 

“Luna knows every magical creature.” You said. “She probably knows more than the book.”

Luna smiled. “That’s kind of you. But, yes. I do. They look like bumblebees, a bit. But they’re grey and like to hide out in dark places. I think we’d have the best luck finding them nesting in bushes. Most likely bushes in the shade.”

“Perfect. Lead the way, lady.” Matt said to Luna. 

You and Matt followed Luna around the grounds as she looked inside each bush that was in the shade. You walked past a group of Slytherins also looking for the glumbumble. You saw Draco, Hux, Blaise, and Phasma watch as Crabbe and Goyle looked into a bush. They seemed to be much more aggressive than needed, and all of a sudden a small cloud of glumbumble’s flew out and started to attack them. 

Matt let out a loud laugh as the Slytherins ran around in circles trying to shoo them away. “Idiots.” He said. 

“You can’t be too aggressive when searching for them. You’ll either scare them off or piss them off.” You said. 

“Speaking of which, I think she found some.” Matt said, pointing to Luna. She was sitting by a bush on her knees while writing notes down on a piece of parchment. 

“Way to go, Lunes.” You said, taking a seat next to her and peering inside the bush. You saw what looked like about fifty glumbumbles nesting inside. 

The three of you took notes, filling up your paper’s space quickly. “Let’s turn these into Hagrid and get going.” Matt said once he had finished. “I hope we don’t have homework.” 

“I’d doubt that. I think we’ll get lucky if any class doesn’t assign homework once this entire year.” You said. 

“I can be hopeful, okay?” Matt said, pushing you gently. 

You turned in your notes to Hagrid but had to wait for the rest of the class to return. As you assumed, Hagrid assigned homework once everyone had returned. You listened to everyone besides you and Luna let out a groan. 

“You jinxed it.” Matt said as the three of you headed back towards the castle. 

“Did not, you idiot.” You said, smacking him with your book bag. “It’s not even that bad anyways. Just reading a chapter in our book? That’s easy, Matty.”

“Yeah, well, Snape assigned a boatload of homework to all of us. On top of that, I have a ton of homework for transfiguration too.”

“You’ll survive.” You said. 

“If I don’t, I’m blaming you for my death.” He replied. 

“Deal.” you said, ignoring him as he scoffed. 

“We’ve got charms next, what about you, Matt?” Luna asked. 

“Potions.” He replied. 

“You’ll like that class.” You said to Matt. “Slughorn is an interesting character. It’s refreshing to have him teaching instead of Snape, honestly.”

“Finally, something to look forward to.” He said. 

“Will I be seeing you later?” You asked before you and Luna parted ways from Matt. 

“Probably not. I need to get on this homework, so I think I’m going to skip dinner. Plus, one of the Slytherin seventh years said they’d help me.” Matt replied. 

“Look at you making friends.” You said and Matt rolled his eyes. “Proud of you.”

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll see you two tomorrow.” He waved and went the other direction. 

You and Luna headed over to the charms classroom, pushing past all the other students walking in the halls. “Doesn’t it feel like there’s way more people here than last year?” you asked Luna. 

“I think it’s the same as usual.” Luna replied. “But it’s a lot of people, nonetheless.”

“We need a new plague.” You said, and Luna gave you a weird look. “I’m joking!” you said. Clearly  _ The Office _ wasn’t a watched show in the magic world. 

The two of you entered the charms classroom only to see that you’d be sharing the class with Gryffindors. You saw Kylo sitting up front with Neville and were thankful that he wouldn’t be able to stare holes into your back like he did during potions. 

“Sit with me!” Ben said, grabbing your arm. 

“What, I-” you started but Ben cut you off. 

“Come on, sit.” He insisted. 

You looked at Luna and she shrugged before going to sit with Rey. 

“You’re extra annoying, today.” You said, taking the seat next to Ben. 

“Only for you.” He replied, blinking his eyes at you while making a puppy dog face. 

“Today we will be practicing turning vinegar into wine.” Professor Flitwick began. You watched as cups filled with vinegar appeared on everyone’s desks. “And if any of you are successful, no you are not allowed to drink it!” You heard some groans come from the class. “Yes, I’m sorry but that’s the rules! Anyways, good luck!” He dismissed the class to work on their own. 

You listened as everyone in the room began saying the spell and pointing their wands at the cup. You watched Ben point his wand and confidently say the spell only for it to do nothing and you laughed. 

“You think you’re any better?” he asked, raising an eyebrow to you. 

“Commutatione vinum.” you said, casting the spell and watching it do nothing. 

“Ah, and you call yourself a Ravenclaw.” Ben laughed. 

“Shut up, idiot.” You said, putting your wand down on the desk and folding your arms. 

“Idiot?” Ben asked. He grabbed your wand and swiftly walked out of the room without anyone noticing. 

You sat at your desk for a moment with your mouth open in shock. You looked around the room before getting up and following after him. “Hey idiot!” You called to him once seeing him down the hall. “Give me my wand back!” 

“I’m sorry, since I’m such an idiot I’m having a hard time understanding what you want from me.” Ben said over his shoulder. 

You ran over to him and tried to grab your wand out of his hand. He held tight onto it and laughed. “You’re cute when you’re angry.” 

“That’s like, the worst thing you could say to someone if you’re trying to flirt.” You replied. “Give me my wand.”

“I’ll give you a wand.” He said with a wink. 

“Yes, _ my _ wand.” you held out your hand. 

Ben looked at your outstretched hand and grabbed it with his own and pulled you into him. “I’d love to kiss you, but I think I’ll wait until your 18th birthday.” He whispered in your ear. 

You pushed him away. “What makes you think I want to kiss you?” 

“I just know these things.” Ben replied. 

You saw your chance and snagged your wand out of his hand. “Sure.” You replied before starting to walk back towards the classroom. 

“Matt was thinking about throwing a party for your birthday.” Ben said while catching up to you. “Especially since you didn’t get to come to ours.” He made a pouty face. 

“You guys didn’t even have a party.” You said, rolling your eyes. 

“Yeah, well, at least we can celebrate yours. Be thankful your birthday isn’t during the summer when you’re away from all your friends and instead with your two stupid brothers and your parents who clearly don’t love eachother anymore.” Ben replied. 

“Merlin, Ben. That’s a little sad.” 

“I’m used to it.” He shrugged. 

The two of you snuck into class, going unnoticed just like when you left. You took a seat and looked around the room and noticed that no one had been successful with casting the spell. 

“Did he think it would be funny to give us an impossible spell for the first day of class or something?” Ben asked. 

“I’m sure it’s possible. Just difficult.” you replied. You watched as Hermione squealed with joy as her vinegar turned to wine. “See, Hermione did it.”

“Who’s surprised.” Ben said, putting his feet on the desk and leaning back. 

“Giving up already?” you asked. 

“Nah, I’ll practice later.” 

“Safe.” You replied, rolling your eyes. 

“Ben Solo, please take your feet off the desk!” Professor Flitwick said from across the room. Everyone turned to look at Ben and you watched his face go red with embarrassment while he put his feet down. 

“Such a bad boy.” You said. 

“Shut it.” He replied. 

“Hey, it’s just what I’ve heard.” You said. 

Ben ignored you and you didn’t feel like continuing to press his buttons. Instead, you went back to trying to turn the vinegar into wine while he watched. He smiled slightly every time you tried to cast the spell and nothing happened. You so badly wanted it to work so you could shut him up, but like everyone else except Hermione, you were unsuccessful. Flitwick excused the class and asked everyone to practice the spell. You met up with Rey and Luna outside the classroom and made your way to the Great Hall for dinner. 

“I’m so frustrated.” Rey said. 

“Me too.” you replied. It wasn’t often that either of you would fail at something. 

“I need to know how Hermione did it.” Rey grumbled. “I’m asking her after dinner.”

“Let me know what she says.” You replied. 

“I’m sure we’ll get it.” Luna said, being the only positive one. “But for now, I’m excited for dinner. I’m so hungry.” 

The three of you entered the Hall and took your seats at the Ravenclaw table. You watched as Rey and Finn made eye contact from across the room and then quickly look away from each other. 

“What was that?” you asked. 

“What was what?” Rey replied while putting food on her plate. 

“Is there something going on between you and Finn?” you asked. 

“No, nothing. What makes you think that? We’re just friends.” She said with a mouth full of food. 

“Alright, Rey.” you said, leaving it be. 

“I think you two would make a good pair.” Luna said and you heard Rey start to choke on her food. 

“We’re just friends, Lunes.” Rey said after she swallowed. 

“Nothing wrong with friends. You’re friends with Matt.” She said looking at you. 

“Yeah, but Matt and I don’t look at each other like _ that _ .” you replied, grossed out at the thought of dating Matt. 

“Well, alright.” Luna said. 

“What about you, Luna?” Rey asked. “Who are you ‘friends’ with?” 

You watched Luna look over at the Gryffindor table, her eyes on Ginny. “I have you two.” She replied. 

“Yes, you do. And we love you.” You said, not mentioning the fact that you saw her looking at Ginny. If Luna wanted to tell you guys anything, she would when she was ready. 

“And I love you both too.” She replied with a smile. 

The three of you finished dinner and exited the Great Hall together. Rey split off from you and Luna, vowing to find Hermione and learn the spell. You and Luna wished her good luck and headed back to Ravenclaw Tower. 

The two of you spent the remainder of the evening studying in your dorm together. You wanted to ask her about Ginny but you knew it wasn’t your place to bring it up. Though you were close, you had never opened up about your crushes and she hadn’t done the same with you. For a while you just assumed Luna wasn’t interested in anyone, but maybe you just weren’t paying attention. 

You tried a few times to turn the vinegar into wine but gave up after a bit. You figured Rey could show you tomorrow if she was successful in learning from Hermione. The two of you said good night to each other and crawled into your separate beds. Rey came in about thirty minutes later. You listened as she moved around the dorm quietly, assuming the two of you were already asleep. 

“I really hope she learned how to do that spell.” was the last thing you remember thinking before falling asleep.


	19. Hello

“Hurry up and eat.” Rey said as she watched you slowly eat your dinner. 

“Rey, we have all weekend before our homework is due.” You replied while taking another bite. 

“Yes, but I want to spend it practicing quidditch, not studying.” She groaned. 

“I told you I’ll help, but I also have to label all the parts of a moke for Care of Magical Creatures.” You said. 

“Fine, fine, fine.” Rey said quickly while bouncing her leg. She was acting like she had just drank an energy drink. 

“The homework isn’t that difficult for Herbology.” You went on. “You can find all the answers in the book. Just look in the index for ‘moly’, it’s easy.” 

“No, it is not easy. I just want your help, okay? You understand those plants better than I do. Plus, I know you read that book cover to cover at least three times over the summer.” She replied. 

She wasn’t wrong. “Okay, I’m done eating. Let’s get to the library.” You said, pushing your plate away from the table. You watched as she bounced up from her seat and tapped Luna on the shoulder. 

“I’ll meet up with you two later.” Luna replied. 

“Sounds good, see you.” You said, placing a hand on her back while passing by. 

The first week of classes had been anything but easy. The professors had definitely not held back from assigning homework. You were thankful that you had decided to only take core classes with no added on electives. The free period you had every evening saved you from being over ran with homework. You wondered how Hermione did it since you knew she was taking at least six classes. 

“When we get to the library I’m just going to dog-ear the pages in our book about moly so that you can find information.” You said to Rey. She gave you a look. “I’ll look over it when you’re done to make sure it’s accurate, don’t worry.”

“You’re the best.” She said. 

“Sometimes.” You replied with a smile. 

“No, all the time.” She said.

The two of you entered the library and made way towards the back. Hermione, Ron, and Harry were studying at the table already and made room for the two of you to join. “What homework are you guys working on for this evening?” You asked once seated. 

“Defense Against the Dark Arts.” Ron groaned. “It’s like Snape wanted to torture us this year.”

“Doesn’t he do that every year?” you asked. 

“Yeah, but this year is worse. You’d think now that he’s teaching his favorite class he’d ease up a bit. Ya know, because he’s happy.” Ron replied. 

“Is Snape ever happy?” Rey asked. 

“Yeah, when he’s bothering Gryffindors.” Harry said and you all laughed. 

“What are you guy’s working on?” Hermione asked, leaning on the table with her elbows. 

“I’m going to get some Care for Magical Creatures stuff done.” You replied while looking through your Herbology book and dog-earing the pages that mentioned moly. 

“And I’m working on Herbology.” Rey replied. “Have either of you finished the assignment yet?” She asked, looking at Hermione and Ron. They both shook their heads and she sighed. 

You passed your book to Rey and she thanked you. The five of you went back to your studies. Hermione, Ron, and Harry would occasionally ask each other a question about their homework, and Rey would tap on your shoulder and ask you to look over her’s every ten minutes or so. You were thankful to get your labeling done early since you wanted to be able to nap before the Slug Club meeting. 

“I’m going to head up to the dorms for a quick nap.” You announced while putting your stuff into your book bag. “I guess I’ll see the two of you a little later.” You said to Hermione and Harry. 

“Oh yeah, your stupid club meeting.” Ron said. 

“Don’t be like that Ron, I didn’t get invited either.” Rey replied. “It’ll probably suck anyways.” She looked at you. “No offense.”

“None taken. I’m not really expecting anything of it. I’m sure it’ll be interesting.” you said. “Anyways, see you all.” you waved. 

“See you at nine.” Hermione said, reminding you of the time and you nodded as the rest of your friends said goodbye. 

You headed up to your dorm wondering if Luna would be there. You had no idea where she was and figured she would have met you guys in the library by now. You quickly climbed Ravenclaw Tower and headed up to your dorm room. With Luna and Rey both absent, you stripped of your robes and daily outfit and climbed underneath your blankets. You glanced at the clock real quick, taking note that it was 7pm. You set your alarm for 8pm to give yourself enough time to wake up and get ready and swiftly fell asleep. 

-

“Hey, isn’t that thing you’re supposed to go to start at nine?” you heard a voice say as someone shook your shoulder. 

“Yeah, why?” you asked, rubbing your eyes and looking up to see Rey standing beside your bed. 

“It’s 8:45.” Rey replied. 

“Shit!” you shouted, jumping from your bed and almost knocking Rey over. “I set an alarm but I guess it didn’t wake me up.” you groaned as you quickly got dressed. 

“I’m sorry we didn’t wake you.” Luna replied. “We just got back from the library.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. Thank you for at least waking me up now.” You said while throwing on a pair of shoes. You were disappointed that you didn’t get to take your time with getting ready, but unfortunately you had overslept. “I hope it isn’t awkward to show up late.” You said, noticing that it was 8:50 now. 

“His office isn’t too far from the dorm. I’m sure you’ll only be a few minutes late.” Luna replied. 

“Right.” you replied. “Thank you for waking me up, Rey. I’ll see you guys in an hour or so.” You blew them a kiss jokingly and ran out the door. 

You could feel your heart racing as you practically sprinted through the Ravenclaw common room. You were thankful that not many people were around because you felt a little bit foolish. You descended the steps of the tower quicker than you had ever in previous years, and immediately regretted exerting so much energy once you reached the bottom. 

Trying to catch your breath, you walked a bit slower through the halls as you made your way to Slughorn’s office. You turned a corner and stopped in your tracks at the sound of a female sobbing. You looked around until you saw a red headed girl standing with her back against the wall and her face in her hands. 

“Ginny?” you asked as you approached her. She was wearing a nice, white and purple dress and had her hair pulled back neatly. 

She moved her hands from her face and you got a look at her. It looked like she had been crying for more than a few minutes. Her face was red and her eyes were a little puffy. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked, stepping closer to her. 

“Nothing.” she said, wiping tears from her face. 

“Clearly something is bothering you. It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone.” you said, wrapping your arm around her shoulders. 

“I don’t have time, though. I need to pull myself together. I’m supposed to go to some club meeting and I’m already late.” She replied. 

“Slug Club?” you asked and she tilted her head at you. “Me too. But I think this is more important.” She nodded at you. “We can be late, it’ll be fine.”

Ginny sighed. “I’m just really confused.” 

“What are you confused about?” you asked. 

She paused before replying. “Have you ever liked more than one person? But only one of them shows interest in you and the other doesn’t?” 

“Yes.” you thought to yourself, but didn’t want to answer. You had feelings for Kylo and maybe even for Ben, but Ben was the only one who gave you the time of day. You just shook your head at her.

“Well, I like this guy, and he likes me back. And I like another guy, and I always have, but he hasn’t shown any interest in me. And on top of that, I think I might have feelings for one of my friends.” She admitted. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Who would make you the happiest?” you asked. 

“I don’t know. That’s what’s hard. I think the one who’d make me happiest is the one who won’t pay attention to me.” she replied. 

“I don’t think so. If they were going to make you happy, they wouldn’t make you feel miserable.” you said. 

“You’re right. But, I’m also too scared to admit my feelings for my friend. I don’t know if they’d feel the same way.” She said, and you took note that she wasn’t using any gender specific pronouns. You thought back to the way Luna was looking at Ginny earlier in the week. Did they both have feelings for each other?

“Well, if I could give you any advice, it would be don’t think too much about it. Everything will work itself out. And if one of them won’t pay any attention to you, then they’re not worth your time. You are beautiful, smart, and athletic. Anyone would be lucky to have you, so don’t downgrade.” You said and you saw Ginny perk up a little bit. 

“Thank you.” She said with a small smile. 

“Of course. I know we aren’t super close, but I’m always here for you if you need to talk.” you replied. 

“That’s so sweet of you, thank you so much.” She said and you pulled her into a hug. 

“Now let’s get to this stupid club meeting.” you said once letting go and she giggled. 

“Hopefully we aren’t too late.” She said. 

“Nah, we’ll be fine.” You said as the two of you headed towards Slughorn’s office. 

-

The first Slug Club meeting wasn’t bad. Though you and Ginny had arrived late, Professor Slughorn didn’t seem to care. Besides the two of you and Harry and Hermione, there were two twins from Slytherin, another Slytherin boy you had never met before, a Gryffindor, and two Hufflepuff girls that you had seen around. 

Slughorn asked everyone questions about their families and what their parents did for a living. You learned that Hermione’s parents were dentists, and you were thankful to not be the only one who was muggle-born at the table.

Professor Slughorn wanted to have a Slug Club meeting once a month, and a special holiday party around Christmas. It sounded fun, but you weren’t entirely sure the purpose of the club. But, you were able to enjoy it with a few of your friends and it didn’t take much time out of your schedule, so you didn’t mind. 

You said goodbye to your Gryffindor friends and started to make your way back to Ravenclaw Tower. You were surprised that you were the only Ravenclaw in the Slug Club but didn’t mind the walk back alone. You thought for a moment to take a stroll around the lake, but decided on another night. It was already late, and even though you didn’t have class in the morning, you still wanted to be able to get up at a reasonable hour to do homework. 

A tall figure turned the corner and started walking towards you. You could already tell who it was by the way they were walking: Kylo. You knew you’d have to pass him, and since the two of you were alone, it would be weird not to say anything...right? As he approached, you felt your heart racing. Trying to steady your breath, you said “hello” to him softly when he was just a few feet away. 

Kylo stopped and looked at you. This was the first time you had said anything directly to him over the last week. He felt like he couldn’t even form words. 

You stood there while he stared at you and started to feel like an idiot. “Well, sorry for saying anything.” You said and started to walk past him. 

“Wait,” he said, reaching out and touching your arm. “I’m sorry for not saying anything.” 

“For not saying anything just now or not saying anything after I wrote to you all summer?” You asked. You were already irritated with him, but now you were angry. 

Kylo stayed silent. 

“You have nothing to say?” You asked. 

He just looked at you. You took a step towards him and got in his face. “You couldn’t pick up a quil and write back to me, not even once. I get that you may have been upset with me because I didn’t listen to you and went to the Ministry that night. But, I’m fine. Everything ended up being fine. And I wanted to make things right between the two of us before school started again, but you had to go ahead and fuck things up. And now everything is just awkward.”

“I was busy.” Kylo replied and you gave him a shove. 

“Well, if you liked me as much as you said then you would make time for me.” You said, getting in his face again. You grabbed both sides of his face and brought him close to yours and kissed him on the lips. You felt him start to kiss you back while his hand started to make its way towards your lower back. Just before he could reach your butt, you pushed him away. “You don’t deserve to touch me.” You said, wiping your mouth and walking away from him. 

You wanted him to chase after you, but you knew he wouldn’t. You started to think about the conversation you had with Ginny. Maybe it was time to take your own advice and go after the one who has been giving you attention, not the one who was ignoring you. 


	20. Wormwood Trees

You had woken up early this Sunday morning and was mildly surprised. The previous night had kept you up pretty late, especially since you were helping Rey write a report. You looked over at your two friends and saw them fast asleep and were a bit envious. You tried to go back to sleep, but you just kept tossing and turning. After about a half hour, you decided to give up and have an early breakfast. 

You quietly dressed yourself and crept out of your dorm. The common room was completely empty, to your surprise, but you were thankful to not have to interact with anyone. Yesterday was so busy that you didn’t really have any time to process what happened with you and Kylo, nor did you know what you were going to do about it. 

You knew you should probably talk to someone. You entered the Great Hall and saw Neville sitting by himself at the almost empty Gryffindor table. “Perfect.” you thought to yourself. 

“Hi, Neville.” you said while taking a seat next to him. 

“Well, good morning. You’re up early.” He said. 

“So are you.” you said with a smile. 

“Indeed I am.” He smiled back. “What are you up to?” 

“I figured I’d have an early breakfast since I was already up. I got pretty much all of my homework done yesterday, so I think today will be pretty laid back for me.” You replied. “What about you?”

“Same as you, actually. I thought I’d maybe do some work in the greenhouse for Professor Sprout.” he said. 

“Oh yeah?” you asked while putting some food on your plate. 

“There’s a lot of wormwood to be harvested.” He replied. “Professor Sprout said she’d give me extra credit if I helped her out with it.”

“Do you need an extra hand?” you asked. 

“Actually, I’d love that. You’re always good company to have anyway.” Neville said with a smile. 

The two of you ate your breakfast quickly and made your way out to the greenhouse. You saw that Professor Sprout had left multiple wormwood trees out on the counters so that they could be harvested by Neville. 

“Now I’m really glad you’re here to help.” Neville said while looking at all the trees. “This would have taken a while.” 

“Glad to help.” You said while picking up a pair of gloves and putting them on. 

You and Neville got to work with scissors and started trimming the trees. You’d delicately placed each bundle of leaves into little boxes so that Professor Sprout could retrieve them later. You worked in silence for a bit, but you couldn’t stop thinking about what happened between you and Kylo. 

“Neville, could I talk to you about something?” you asked while still working on one of the trees. 

“Sure, what’s up?” he asked. 

“Well, you know my history with Kylo. But I’ve got quite a lot to catch you up on.” you said. 

“Is that so? Go ahead, then.” He replied. 

“Last year we ended up kissing once. And then everything got weird. He admitted he had feelings for me but never did anything about it. And then that night we went to the Ministry, he tried to stop me. I got mad at him and told him I was going.” you said. Neville stayed silent, so you decided to continue. “Anyways, I wrote him all summer. Not once did he write back to me.”

“That’s weird.” Neville said. 

“Right?” you asked. “And then I saw him the other night. I asked him why he didn’t write back to me and he said he was busy.” 

“Busy?” Neville scoffed. “What a poor excuse.” 

“I know. It hurt my feelings. Like, if you really cared that much about me then you’d at least find time to write back.” 

“Definitely.” Neville agreed. 

“And then Ben. He’s been showing interest in me since last year. But, this year he’s shown a lot more. I think he’s into me and I don’t know what to do.” you said. 

“Do you like Ben?” Neville asked. 

“I have no idea. I’ve always just viewed him as kind of an idiot. I love him as a friend, but I’ve never thought of us together.” You replied. 

“I think if Kylo isn’t going to put any effort into at least a friendship with you, then he’s not going to put in any effort for a relationship either.” Neville said. 

You felt your heart drop. What he said was true, and somehow you already knew it, you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself. “You’re right.” you said. 

“And if you do decide to go after Ben, just be careful.” He said. 

“Be careful?” you stopped working on your tree and looked over at him. 

“Yes, be careful. Ben’s an interesting one.” Neville replied. 

“Got it. Thanks, Neville. I’m really glad you can be honest with me.” You said. 

“Of course, it’s what friends are for.” He replied. 

The two of you went back to harvesting wormwood, and you couldn’t help but feel a weight lift from your shoulders. Neville was right, and so was that gut feeling you had. If Kylo cared, he would make an effort. But he hasn’t, so he doesn’t. Plus, there wasn’t any harm in trying things out with Ben. He was friendly and definitely a flirt. At least the two of you knew each other decently well, so you didn’t think he would use you like he has done with others in the past. Plus, you were pretty sure Matt would kill him if he did that to you. 

You and Neville went on to catch up with each other. He told you about his summer and what his plans were for seventh year. You were impressed with him, especially since it seemed like he had the next ten years of his life planned out. You were a little jealous, too. You knew you wanted to do something with herbology, you just weren’t sure what. There was a wide range of things you could do, but nothing stuck out to you yet. But, you tried not to worry about it. With all the homework and studying you had ahead of yourself this year, worrying about the future would just add unneeded stress. 

Hours passed quickly, and the two of you were finally finished just before dinner time. You looked up at the clock while taking your gloves off with a sigh. “We had an early breakfast, looks like we’ll be having an early dinner too.” You said. 

“I honestly didn’t even realize we were in here for that long.” Neville replied. “Without you, this would have taken me at least a day and a half.”

“It’s a fair trade off for you having to help me with my boy problems.” you replied.

Neville laughed. “It’s not so bad helping you out. Trust me, it could be worse.”

“I still really appreciate it. You’re the only one I can go to without feeling judged. Thank you.” You said and you pulled Neville in for a hug.

“Always here for you.” He said. “Now let's go get some dinner, I’m starving.” 

“Sounds good to me.” You replied, and the two of you headed back towards the castle. 

“Hey!” you heard someone call, and both you and Neville turned around. It was Ben, of all people. You glanced at Neville and he just smiled. You rolled your eyes at him. 

“Just got done with some homework, are you guys headed to the Great Hall?” He asked once caught up with the two of you. 

“We actually are.” You replied. 

“Ah, perfect. I’m starving.” Ben said while wrapping an arm around your shoulder. You felt yourself blush. “So, your birthday is in just a few weeks. Don’t worry, I’ve already been talking to Matty about plans for it.” He smiled at you. 

“And what’s that?” you asked. 

“I’m not telling you, it’s a surprise.” Ben winked. 

“If you wanted it to be a surprise, don’t bring it up.” You said. 

“Fine, this is the last time you’ll hear of it.” Ben replied. “A secret from now on.”

The three of you walked into the Great Hall and you decided to eat at the Gryffindor table with them since Rey and Luna were nowhere to be found. 

“So, what were you two up to?” Ben asked with a mouth full of food. 

You grimaced at him. 

“We were trimming some wormwood trees for Professor Sprout.” Neville replied. 

“Well, how kind of you both.” Ben said. “Speaking of herbs and such, I need some help with my potions homework.”

“Ben, there isn’t any potions homework.” You replied. 

“Yeah, well I still need help. Do you think you could lend me a hand with that, smartypants?” He asked. 

“Smartypants…” you glared at him. “Only if you promise to never say that again.” 

“Done deal.” Ben replied with a smile. “We’ll head over to the library after dinner then?” 

“Do you even have any books on you?” you asked. 

“No.” Ben replied. “But I can go get them.”

“You better go get them now, I’m not going to sit around waiting for you.” You said. 

“Fine.” You watched as Ben shoveled the rest of his dinner into his mouth. “I’ll meet you in the library.” He said with his mouth full. Ben stood from the table and swiftly walked out of the Great Hall. 

“He’s disgusting.” you said to Neville. 

“He’s something, that’s for sure.” Neville replied. 

You wondered why Ben wanted to spend time alone with you. Maybe he just wanted to spend some time with you, but didn’t know how to ask or what to do. Plus, he’s kind of an idiot. He knows you like to study, so he probably figured that would be the easiest way to get you to hang out with him. You let out a sigh. “Boys.” you thought to yourself. 

“I’m gonna get going to the library.” You said to Neville. “Thanks again for everything.”

“No, thank you for everything.” Neville replied. “I’ll make sure Professor Sprout knows you helped out.”

“You’re the best.” you said with a smile, and he returned one. 

You stood from your seat and started to make your way out of the Great Hall. As you were leaving, you were stopped by Rey and Luna. 

“Where have you been all day?” Rey asked. 

“I was helping Neville with a project in the greenhouse.” you replied. “Been there since early morning.”

“Ah, good to know. We both woke up and didn’t see you in bed. Figured you’d show up eventually.” Rey replied. 

“Have you already had dinner?” Luna asked. 

“Yeah, sorry I didn’t wait for you guys. I wasn’t sure when you’d be down. Plus, Ben asked me to help him with some homework, so I’m going to meet him in the library right now.” 

“Ben, of all people, asking for help in school?” Rey asked. “Didn’t know he actually cared about his grades.”

“I guess. Maybe because it’s sixth year. Who knows, it can be overwhelming.” You replied. 

“Definitely.” Rey responded. 

“Well, I guess we will see you later this evening?” Luna asked. 

“Yes, bye you guys.” You said to your friends and made your way over to the library. 

When you initially entered, you didn’t see Ben anywhere. You walked towards the back, passing a few people studying at private tables. You found him tucked way back in a corner table, hidden from the majority of the library. 

“I almost couldn’t find you.” You joked as you sat down next to him. 

“Good thing you did.” He replied, setting his book down on the table in front of him. 

“So, what exactly did you want help with?” you asked. 

“You were able to recreate that potion on the first day of class pretty easily. Could you tell me how you did it?” He asked. 

“Really, Ben?” you looked at him, waiting for him to say it was a joke. But, he stayed silent. “It’s nothing you can’t learn from opening up your book.” you said. 

“Yeah, but like, you really understood how to do it.” He replied. 

“Because I read the instructions...in the book.” you raised an eyebrow at him. 

He just looked at you. Was he actually this stupid or was he up to something? You let out a sigh and opened the book up. 

“Amortentia.” you said, pointing at the potions list. “Easy, it says right here exactly what you need to do.” 

“That’s a love potion, right?” He asked. 

“Yeah Ben, we’ve been over this already.” you replied. 

“Do you remember what scents you picked up on once you recreated your potion?” he asked. 

You didn’t want to be honest with him, so you stayed quiet. 

“Well, I know what I smelled. Do you want to know what it was?” he asked. You nodded your head. And he continued. “The smell of grass just after rain, lemons, my mum’s lavender bush, and you.” 

You felt your heart start to race. “Me?” you asked. 

“Yes, you.” He replied, moving closer. 

“Why me?” you asked. 

“Isn’t it obvious by now that I have feelings for you?” He asked, bringing his hand to your thigh and gently squeezing it. “You’re beautiful, smart, sassy...pretty much everything I look for in a person.” 

“Wow, Ben.” you replied, a little taken aback. You weren’t used to guys being so upfront with you, but you kind of liked it. 

“I’ve been thinking about that night we kissed a lot lately, and I’d love to do it again.” Ben said. You felt yourself blush. “Would it be alright if I kissed you?” He asked. 

Ben having manners? You didn’t know that was a thing. You nodded, and he leaned in to kiss you gently on the lips. It was nothing like the little makeout session you had last year. It was softer, and much more pleasant. 

“So, is this why you wanted to study together?” you said with a little laugh. 

“This is definitely why.” Ben replied, leaning in to give you another gentle kiss. “We should do it more often.”

You nodded. There was something about him that felt so different. You liked it. Even though he was an idiot, you didn’t know he could be so gentle and sweet. You wished he was like this more often. You and Ben spent the rest of your time in the library talking, not studying. It was the first time you ever got to know him. He told you what it was like growing up with two identical brothers and how he was always getting in trouble. He claimed the reason he never was in serious trouble was because his parents favored him the most, and apparently he was named after someone that meant a lot to them both. You opened up to Ben about your uncertainties regarding what you wanted to do after Hogwarts, and he told you that that was alright. He didn’t know what he wanted to do either. 

You really enjoyed the time you two spent together and was looking forward to the next time you would be seeing him. He offered to walk you back to Ravenclaw Tower, but you declined. Though you liked the idea of it, you didn’t want anyone to see you with him just yet. Plus, what if you ran into Kylo? That could make things a lot more awkward. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you back?” Ben asked as the two of you walked out of the library. 

“Yes, Ben, I’ll be alright.” You said with a smile. 

“If you say so.” He replied. “So, when can we do this again?” 

“Well, when will you be needing help with your ‘homework’ again?” You joked. 

“I was thinking maybe Tuesday, especially since we have potions that day. I’ll need help with that again.” Ben went along with your joke. 

“Tuesday it is.” you said. The two of you said goodbye to one another and you started back towards Ravenclaw Tower. You couldn’t believe that you were actually looking forward to spending more alone time with Ben Solo of all people. You were happy you had taken your own advice as well as Neville’s and hung out with Ben. It was nice to be pursued instead of wondering when something would happen. Though you still had feelings for Kylo, you didn’t think that spending time with Ben would hurt anything. 

Right?

You entered the Ravenclaw common room and made your way up to your dormitory. You knew that Rey and Luna would still be awake since it was only about 9pm. But, you were worried about all the questions they could ask. You were with Ben for quite a while, which could look suspicious. 

Entering your dorm room, you saw your two friends on their beds. Rey was practicing wrist movements for a spell and Luna was reading a book. You greeted them, took off your shoes, and sat on top of your bed. 

“You were gone for a while.” Rey said. 

You hoped that your face didn’t go red. “Yeah, well, you know your cousin.” You replied. 

“I sure do. Dumber than a bag of bricks.” She said. “Well, not dumb. Maybe just a little lazy.”

“Definitely lazy.” you responded. “Having potions with him is a nightmare.” 

“Well, I’m glad you’re back.” Luna said. 

“You miss me, Lunes?” you asked with a grin. 

“Of course, we hardly saw you today.” she replied. “Hopefully we’ll see more of you tomorrow.”

“I promise I won’t disappear like I did today.”

“Thanks, we were a bit worried about you.” Rey said. 

“There’s nothing to worry about.” You promised. 

“You do like going on your walks.” Rey replied. “But usually you come back after an hour or two.”

“Yeah, I know. But Neville needed some help and I didn’t want to be a bad friend to him.” You said. 

“We understand.” Luna said with a small smile. 

“I think I’m going to go to bed a little early tonight. Since I woke up so early and worked almost all day with Neville, I’m exhausted.” You admitted. 

You changed into your pajamas and said good night to your friends. You crawled under your blankets and pulled them up high. You felt yourself drifting off to sleep, but your heart was still racing from the time spent with Ben. You still couldn’t believe that Ben Solo could make you feel this way. 


	21. Man-Whore

You sat in the Great Hall with Rey and Luna enjoying your breakfast. You still felt giddy and warm regarding your interaction with Ben Solo the previous evening. What made it even more fun was the fact that no one knew. It was like a little secret kept just between the two of you. He caught your eye from across the room and grinned at you. You felt your face flush and desperately tried to hide it from your friends. 

Herbology went by slow this morning. You figured it was because you were looking forward to potions class since you had it with Ben. It was weird having him occupy your thoughts instead of Kylo. It was different. Instead of feeling sad or confused all the time, you felt happy and excited. It was a great trade off. 

After class, you and Rey met up with Luna real quick to say hello. The three of you chatted for a few minutes before you went off in separate directions. You made your way down to the dungeons and entered the potions classroom, trying your best not to look too excited. You saw an empty seat next to Hermione and took it, just as you had the previous classes. You heard someone walk up behind you and wrap their arms around your chest from behind. 

“All that studying last night got me ready for class today.” you heard Ben whisper in your ear. 

“Get off me, weirdo.” You joked, pushing his arms away. 

“You aren’t one for surprise hellos, I see.” Ben said as he pulled a chair up next to you. 

You turned to look at him and caught a glimpse of Kylo out of the corner of your eye. He was watching the two of you interact. You wondered what he was thinking and hoped he was jealous. 

“You’re enough of a surprise yourself, Ben Solo.” you said as you set your potions book down on the table. 

“Good afternoon class!” Professor Slughorn said loudly. “I hope you all had a great weekend and are well rested and ready for what’s to come this week.” No one really responded, just a few groans and head nods. “Yes, well, today we are still going over love potions. I’m sure you know by now that there are more than one kind if you did your readings over the weekend. I’d like you to all break off into groups. Those who have already successfully brewed a love potion last week, please pair up with someone who did not. You will work together to produce one by the end of the class.” 

“I hope you know you’re going to be my partner.” Ben said while leaning into you. 

“I figured.” You said, pretending to be annoyed. 

“I only want to learn from the best.” Ben shrugged.

“You’ll learn enough if you open your book, which is what you’ll be doing this time. Follow the directions, and I’ll be here to make sure everything goes right.”

“Anything you say.” He replied, and you felt yourself blush. 

Together, the two of you worked on the assignment. It was pretty easy, especially since you already knew what you were doing. Ben was being good and actually doing his work. Was he trying for you? While working together, the two of you flirted constantly. He was always touching you in some way, whether it was your shoulder, arm, or the small of your back. It felt nice to be wanted. You weren’t sure if other people noticed how close the two of you were. You didn’t even turn to get a look at Kylo. If he was bothered, you couldn’t care less. He had his chance and he blew it. 

Anyone who finished early was dismissed for the day. Hermione had already left with her partner, Seamus, and you and Ben were the second to finish. You grabbed your book bag and packed up. Ben was waiting beside you, and once you were done the two of you left the class together. As you walked out, you caught Kylo’s eye. He looked irritated. He had been watching you all class, but you didn’t notice. He didn’t understand why you were being so friendly with Ben and started to wonder if you two were a pair. Kylo gritted his teeth, annoyed with his own brother. 

Once out of the classroom, Ben grabbed your hand and pulled you close to him. “Thanks for the help today.” he said before kissing you on the forehead. 

You looked up at him. All you could do was smile. It was still so weird to you that you felt so comfortable with him. Of all people, you’d think Ben would’ve been the last person you were interested in. 

“Wanna go makeout in a broom closet somewhere?” Ben asked, making you laugh. 

“I can’t, I’ve got a load of Herbology homework.” you said. 

“Come on, it’s just plants.” Ben said, tugging your hand. 

“You know I love Herbology, no way I’m letting my grades slip for you, Ben Solo.” you said with a smirk. 

“Alright, alright.” Ben said. “But I’ll be seeing you soon, right?”

“Yes, tomorrow we can work on some more homework together.” 

Ben pulled you close to him again. “Ah, yes, homework.” he said with a wink. “Can’t wait.” He leaned down to kiss you on the lips gently. “See you tomorrow.” he said, giving your hand a squeeze before heading down the hall. 

You watched him until he disappeared before walking in your own direction. You glanced out the windows and saw how nice it was outside. It wasn’t often that you’d get an autumn day with sunshine, and you decided to catch some of it before the sun went down. You started to make your way outside, but saw Matt on the other end of the hall. 

You shouted at him to get his attention and waved him over. “What are you doing outside of class?” you asked with a smile. 

“I don’t have class right now. Free period.” He beamed. “What are you doing outside of class? Didn’t take you as one to skip.” He nudged you with his elbow. 

“You know I don’t skip classes.” You replied, nudging him back. 

“Then what are you doing?” Matt asked. 

“It’s nice out, so I think I’m going to do some studying outside.” You looked out the window while talking to him. 

“Can I join you?” He asked. 

“Of course.” you replied with a smile. 

The two of you linked arms and made your way out of the castle. To your surprise, there weren’t many people outside. The two of you found a spot on the grass to lay out on. You set your book bag down and took a seat, Matt doing the same. 

“I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever.” You said. 

“I know, this year has been crazy.” Matt replied. “I’ve missed you.”

You looked over at him. He seemed a little sad. “I’ve missed you too, Matt.” You watched him force a small smile. “Is everything okay?” you asked. 

“If I’m being honest, no. I haven’t really been able to sleep lately.” He admitted. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked while sitting up. 

“Everything is just a little weird, you know? After what happened last year, I feel like no one talks about it. I don’t know, maybe I was affected more by it than everyone else I guess.” He said. 

“What do you mean?” you asked. 

“Everyone is acting totally fine, and like nothing happened. But I still have nightmares about that night. It scares me. Sometimes it’s me running for my life, or I’m holding you while you bleed out. I hate it. I feel stupid talking to Ben about it because he seems totally fine, and I definitely can’t talk to Kylo about it. He’s been so different ever since summer started. He hardly feels like he’s a part of the family anymore.” Matt said. 

You found it interesting that Matt had also noticed a large shift in Kylo’s attitude. You frowned. “I’m sorry, Matt. You know I’m always here for you to talk.” 

“I know. I just feel like something bad is going to happen. I don’t know what, but I can just  _ feel _ it.” 

“Try not to worry too much about it.” you said, resting your hand on his knee. “You have enough to stress out about. If you ever need to talk, just come find me. I don’t want you to feel alone.” You said. 

“Thanks.” He responded, staring off into the distance. 

“Maybe you should ask Slughorn for a sleeping potion too. It might help.” you replied. You wished you could be more of help, but you didn’t know how. Matt was right, though. It was a little weird that no one seemed to want to talk about what happened. You knew that Harry and the rest of the Golden Trio had gone through traumatic events like that every year at Hogwarts. Maybe they were just used to it by now. “You know, I bet Harry would be a good person to talk to.” 

Matt looked over at you. 

“Yeah, I mean, he’s gone through a lot. If anyone knows how to handle things like this, it would be him.” you continued. 

“You’re right. Maybe I should.” Matt replied. 

“It couldn’t hurt to try. I know you two aren’t super close, but I know he’d be willing to help. That’s just how he is.” You said. 

“Good idea.” Matt said, lying down on the grass. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. This was the first time in weeks that he had felt somewhat peaceful. His senses were focused on the smell of the outdoors while listening to you breathe quietly beside him. “Thank you.” he said. 

“Of course, Matt. You’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you.” you replied. 

“And I’d do anything for you.” he said. Images of you bleeding out came into his head, but he shook them away. You were okay now. 

The two of you sat under the clear sky for an hour or two. You looked up from your book to see Matt asleep next to you. You smiled to yourself and went back to studying. It felt so difficult trying to keep up with all your friends this year. You felt bad and started to wonder if you were a bad friend. You pushed those thoughts away, reminding yourself that it’s just a busy year. 

It was starting to get late, so you gently woke Matt up. He blinked a few times before sitting up and adjusting his glasses. “I definitely needed that.” He laughed while standing up and reaching out his hand to help you up. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling a little better.” you replied, taking his hand and letting him help you. 

“There’s something about you.” Matt said as the two of you started to walk towards the castle. 

You raised an eyebrow at him. “What do you mean?” you asked. 

“I don’t know how to say it without sounding a little weird.” Matt replied, holding the door for you as you stepped inside the castle. 

“Just say it.” You responded. You hated it when people took forever to tell you something. 

“You just have a really calming presence. And nurturing. I feel comfortable when I’m around you.” He said. 

You stopped walking for a moment and looked at Matt. 

“I’m sorry if that was weird.” Matt said quickly. 

“No, not at all.” you said to him. “That’s one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me.” 

“Well, I mean every word of it.” Matt replied with a smile, pulling you into a big hug. 

“What did I ever do to deserve a friend like you?” you asked as he held you. 

“No idea, but I’m glad we ended up finding each other.” Matt replied while pulling away. 

“Me too.” you said with a smile. 

“Anyways, enough of the heartfelt stuff.” Matt said jokingly. “It's late and I need to get some homework done before class tomorrow. I’ll catch up with you later.” 

“Sounds good, Matty.” You said. 

“Thanks again.” Matt said as he started to walk down the hall. 

You gave him a wave, smiling until he disappeared around the corner. 

-

The next day seemed to go by painfully slow. You and Ben had agreed to sneak off to the library after dinner and meet up at the same spot in the back. You had been looking forward to it all day, which made everything feel slowed down. Even though you had your last class with Ben, you didn’t get to see much of him. Professor Flitwick had you paired up with Hermione since the two of you were more advanced than the rest of the class. You and her were working on non verbal charms while the rest of the class worked on the same as the previous week. 

You were also sitting directly in front of Kylo, and you could feel his eyes burning into your back. He desperately wanted to talk to you, but he didn’t know how to approach you. Kylo had been going through a lot, and wished he had someone to talk to for advice. But, he was hard headed and wasn’t good at asking for help. He was watching you slip away from him. Kylo wasn’t stupid, he could tell there was something up between you and Ben and that made him jealous. 

Class was dismissed and you headed down to the Great Hall for dinner with Rey and Luna. The three of you took your seats at the Ravenclaw table and started to pile food onto your plates. You took notice of Rey looking over at Finn. You watched him smile at her, her face turning a little pink. 

“You and Finn seem to be getting along.” You said. 

Rey gave you a little push. “It’s not like that.” she grumbled. 

“It’s okay to have a crush, Rey.” Luna replied. “Finn is a great guy.” 

“We’re just friends.” Rey said sternly. 

You and Luna exchanged glances and decided to leave Rey alone about it. 

“Your birthday is coming up, isn’t it?” Luna asked you. 

You were a bit surprised that she remembered. “Yeah, it’s on Thursday.” you replied. 

“That’s what I thought.” Luna responded. She hummed to herself and didn’t say much else. 

You looked at her confused. “Why?” 

“No reason, just making sure I have the day right.” She replied. 

“I thought it was on Friday since Matt and Ben said they’re planning a party for you on that day.” Rey said with a mouth full of food. 

“Rey…” Luna said, looking disappointed. 

“What?” Rey looked up at her. 

“It was supposed to be a surprise.” Luna responded. 

“I know, but I figured someone had already said something. You know, we’re all bad at keeping secrets.” Rey looked over to you. “Sorry for ruining the surprise.” 

“Don’t say sorry.” you replied. “I honestly hate surprises, I’m happy you told me. I knew those boys were up to something.” 

“Glad I could be the one to ruin it for you.” Rey said jokingly. 

You figured that was what they were planning, but you didn’t bother asking around. At least now you’d be prepared for whatever you were going to face. You assumed there would be a lot of alcohol, especially since Ben and Matt were planning it. 

“I’ve got to get going.” You said, pushing your plate away and grabbing your book bag. 

“Where are you off to?” Rey asked.

“Loads of homework, you know, the same as usual.” You replied. “I’ll see you guys later.”

You waved to your friends and left quickly, not wanting them to invite themselves or ask any questions. You saw Ben watching you leave the Great Hall, knowing that he’d soon be doing the same. You hurried over to the library and walked all the way to the back where the two of you sat before. You set your book bag down on the table, took one of your books out, and opened it to a random page. 

Ben appeared from around the corner of one of the bookshelves. You smiled at him as he pulled you into a hug. “Glad to see you.” He said before kissing you on the forehead. 

“You think we’ll be getting any homework done?” you laughed as the two of you sat down together. There was no space between the two of you and you liked it that way. 

“I’m sure we’ll get a little bit done.” He replied, resting his hand on your thigh and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll try not to be too much of a distraction. He leaned in to kiss you on the lips, and you kissed him back. He pulled away and grabbed your chin with his hand gently. “I’m very excited for your birthday.” 

“Oh yeah, why’s that?” you asked. 

“I’ve got a great gift for you, that’s what.” He said with a smirk. 

“You can’t give it to me early?” you asked with puppy dog eyes. 

“No, it has to wait. But trust me, it’s worth it.” Ben replied, pulling you back in for a kiss. Before things could get too intense, you heard footsteps headed your way. 

The two of you pulled apart and looked up to see Rey, Luna, and the Golden Trio. 

You pushed Ben away from you in shock. 

“You’re studying with Ben?” Rey asked, looking at you weirdly. 

“What’s the problem? They’re helping me with my potions homework.” Ben replied quickly, which you were thankful for. 

“Yeah, alright.” Rey said, looking at the book you had open on the table. It was not a potions book and you felt your cheeks go red. 

“We decided to come study with you.” Luna said as she took a seat. ‘We saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione on the way here and invited them to study with us. I hope that’s alright.”

You were annoyed, but there was nothing you could say. You still weren’t fully ready to admit you were into Ben, especially not to Rey. “Yeah, of course that’s alright.” you said with a smile. You felt Ben squeeze your thigh again from underneath the table. You assumed he was also disappointed with what was happening too. 

“I’ve got loads of Defense Against the Dark Arts homework to do.” Rey said as the Golden Trio agreed. 

“Glad I didn’t take that class this year, then.” You replied. “Though Herbology is a bit this year.”

“Yeah, but you like plants.” Ron said. 

You shrugged. “I guess it makes it a little more bearable.” you replied. 

The group started to work on different bits of homework separately. Occasionally someone would ask another for help, but the majority of the time was spent with noses in books. You heard Ben rip a piece of parchment and start to scribble on it. You looked around to see if anyone noticed, but they were all still enveloped in their studies. Ben folded the paper up and tapped your leg under the table. You looked at him and he motioned with his eyes to reach under the table. You felt him place the piece of paper in your hand. You placed it in your pocket and nodded at him. 

You wondered what he had written on it, but you were too nervous to read it in front of everyone. There was a possibility that it would go noticed, and Ben was a wild card. There could be anything written on it, and you figured it would just be smarter to read it later in private. 

An hour or so had passed and everyone started to pack up their things. The group started to shuffle out of the library, you second to last with Ben right behind you. You felt him smack your butt gently, and you turned around to give him a glare. He just smiled back at you, knowing there was nothing you could say, even though you did like it. The constant attention was definitely new to you, but you did enjoy it. It was nice to feel wanted. 

Everyone said their goodbyes, the Gryffindor’s going in one direction while you, Luna, and Rey headed back towards your common room. The three of you were silent, which made you feel a little bit nervous. After a few minutes, Rey decided to speak up. 

“If you and Ben are a thing, just tell me now so I can mentally prepare for it.” She said. 

You felt yourself go flush. “We aren’t a thing.” you replied, trying to sound confident. 

“You can tell me, it’s fine. A little weird, but it’s fine.” Rey said. 

“There is nothing wrong with dating Ben Solo.” Luna chimed in. “We all know he has a reputation, but he seems like a sweet guy.”

You thought back to what Neville had said, telling you to be careful. You were tired of hearing about Ben’s ‘reputation’. “What exactly is his reputation?” you asked. 

“You know, man whore.” Rey replied simply. 

“That’s a little harsh.” Luna said. 

“But it’s true. Even when he was a first year, he’d get caught making out with third years all the time. He’s too cocky for his own good. He thinks he can get anyone he wants, and the girls at this school have definitely let him believe that.” Rey said. “I just don’t want him using you. I don’t want to see you get your feelings hurt by my stupid cousin.” 

“It’s okay, Rey.” You replied. “I appreciate you looking out for me, but I promise it’s not like that.” 

“Well, just be careful.” Rey responded. 

Luna glanced over at you. Something inside you made you think she knew you were lying. You assumed Rey thought you were too. Maybe she didn’t know the full extent of your feelings, but she knew something was up. 

The three of you reached your common room and made way up to your dorm. You stripped off your robe and uniform, making sure to grab the note from Ben and place it under your pillow. You listened as your friends slowly started to fall asleep, waiting until you knew for sure that they were. You grabbed the note from underneath your pillow and tried to read it by the moonlight shining through the window. 

_ “Meet me Thursday, 11pm, corridor 16. I’ll have your surprise waiting for you.”  _


	22. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut. Just a warning for people who don't like to read smut.

“Happy birthday!” 

Your eyes flickered open in shock. You looked up to see both Rey and Luna standing over your bed. “What time is it?” you groaned. Unfortunately, the previous day was spent in the greenhouse with Neville during your free period. Because of all the extra work you did for Professor Sprout, you were up all night catching up on homework. 

“A little past eight.” Luna hummed. 

You groaned. It wasn’t often that you found yourself waking up past seven. 

“We have some gifts for you.” Rey beamed, setting quite a few items on your bed. 

“You guys are so sweet, thank you.” You smiled. 

“It’s not every day that you turn 18!” Luna replied. “We’ve got to celebrate it.”

You sat up at your bed, looking over the items. Most of it was candy and other treats. Rey had poorly wrapped a velvet black sweater for you, while Luna’s gift was perfectly wrapped and looked like a book. You picked up Luna’s gift and unwrapped the paper. It was titled,  _ Herbology and Thousands of Ways to Heal.  _ You then unwrapped Rey’s gift, running your hand over the velvet sweater. 

“This is all so great, thank you so much.” you replied. “I love you guys.”

“And we love you.” Rey said, pulling you into a hug. “Now let’s get dressed and go down for breakfast.” 

The three of you got ready, and you decided to wear the sweater Rey had gotten you. It fit perfectly and was incredibly comfortable. You were impressed by her ability to pick it out for you. Together, you all made your way through the common room. You saw Cho Chang and her friend Jael, who both briefly wished you a happy birthday. You were surprised they remembered, but were thankful nonetheless. 

Once in the Great Hall, the three of you took your seats. You were late to breakfast and kind of regretted it. Matt snuck up on you, pulling you into a hug from behind and yelling, “Happy birthday!” at the top of his lungs. You felt embarrassed as people looked your way while you tried to push Matt off of you. 

“Merlin, now the whole school knows.” You replied, looking around and feeling flushed. You caught eyes with Kylo but he quickly looked away. 

“Good, everyone needs to wish you a happy birthday.” Matt responded. 

“Please, no. I don’t think I could handle that much attention.” you groaned. 

Matt started to squeeze himself between you and Rey. “Hey, asshole!” Rey shouted, but Matt didn’t care. 

“I got you this.” He said while pulling something out of his pocket. It was your favorite muggle candy bar. 

“Matt, I can’t believe you got this for me.” You smiled. “How did you even…?” 

“A master never reveals his secrets.” Matt said proudly. 

“He wrote Mum and she bought some at a muggle store.” you heard behind you, all turning to see Ben standing there. 

“Damnit, Ben.” Matt said, shoving his brother. 

“Just saying.” Ben shrugged. He ruffled your hair a little bit. “Happy birthday.” he gave you a wink and went back over to the Gryffindor table. 

“Anyways, make sure you’re not doing anything on Friday.” Matt said. “We have something planned.” 

“They already know, I told them.” Rey responded casually. 

Matt turned slowly to look at Rey. “You ruined the surprise?” He shouted. 

Rey stared at him. “Yes.” she said bluntly. “Don’t yell in my face, idiot.” 

“Don’t ruin surprises!” Matt whined. 

“It’s fine, Matt. All I know is there’s going to be a party. I don’t know much else.” You tried to reassure him. 

“It’ll be fun, surprise or not.” Luna said, and you nodded. 

“I guess you’re right.” Matt trailed off. “Just try keeping your big mouth shut next time, Rey.” She rolled her eyes at him, but he ignored her. 

“We should get to class.” Luna said. 

“You’re right.” you said, standing up from the table. “See you later in Charms.” you said to Rey. 

You, Luna, and Matt made your way out of the Great Hall and towards Hagrid’s hut. You rounded a corner and accidentally ran into a Slytherin. You took a step back, apologizing. You stopped mid sentence once realizing who you ran into. 

“Watch where you’re going.” Hux snarled at you. 

“I’m sorry-” you started, but Matt cut you off. 

“Don’t talk to them like that.” Matt defended you. 

“I can talk to whoever I want however I want.” Hux replied with his nose in the air. 

“You think so? You don’t own this school, Huxy boy.” Matt clenched his fists. 

“Get over yourself, Solo.” Hux sneared. “And the next time one of you touches me, there will be a problem.” Hux turned away and headed down the hallway. 

“Well, this’ll make class awkward.” Luna said once he was out of earshot. 

“Couldn’t you just leave it alone, Matt?” you said. You appreciated him standing up for you, but you rather not have the drama along with it. 

“I’m not gonna let anyone talk down to you, especially not today.” Matt replied. 

The three of you made your way to Hagrid’s, stopping a few feet away from a group of Slytheirns. Hux turned to give you a death glare and Matt gave him a dirty look back. Hagrid started to speak, and everyone focused their attention on him. Today was to be used like a free period, but instead of studying other subjects it would just be working on an essay that would be due in class on Tuesday. 

“We walked all the way out here for nothing.” Matt groaned. 

“Not nothing, we would have missed the assignment if we didn’t show up.” you replied. The three of you started to make your way over to the Great Hall to study, assuming that the library would be full. 

“Hey, Solo.” you heard someone call. The three of you turned around to see Draco, Hux, and Phasma. 

“Please, no.” you thought to yourself. 

“I heard you got into a little argument with my friend here.” Draco continued. “I think next time you should watch your bitch and make sure they’re not running into people.” 

You gulped. Matt was definitely not happy to hear you be referred to as a bitch. You watched his posture change. He puffed out his chest and clenched his fists. 

“Do not refer to them like that.” He spat. “Didn’t your parents teach you any manners?” Matt stepped forward. You grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back but he wiggled free. 

You looked at Luna and she held out her hand for comfort. 

“What are you gonna do about it?” Draco said as his two friends laughed. 

“Where do you get off standing up for Hux? He’s a big boy, if he has a problem he could have made more of a scene.” Matt took another step towards him. “But maybe little Huxy’s scared.”

Hux was shorter than Matt. You were surprised to see Draco challenging him too. Though they were about the same height, Matt was definitely broader and more muscular than Draco. 

“Shut up, Solo.” Draco snapped. 

“No, I don’t think I will.” Matt took another step. “One more word, and you’re asking for it.”

“Matt, please don’t.” you whined from behind him, but he didn’t listen. 

“Oh, so now you’re going to threaten me with violence?” Draco asked, raising an eyebrow. “That could get you in a lot of trouble. But, I’m sure you’re too stupid to care.” 

Matt grabbed Draco by his shirt and pulled him close to him. “You need to learn to watch your mouth. The next time I hear you calling any of my friends a bitch, you’ll be carted off to the hospital wing with a broken nose.” He released Draco and you watched him scramble back to his friends. 

“Pussy.” Matt said before turning around to face you and Luna. “Let’s go.” 

The three of you walked up to the castle in silence. Once inside, you turned to Matt. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to.” you said quietly. 

“If you don’t stand up to people like them then they’ll just walk all over you. I’m not going to let that happen to any of my friends.” Matt replied. 

“You’re a good friend, Matt.” Luna hummed. 

“Yeah, I’m lucky to have you.” you chimed in. 

The three of you made your way to the Great Hall and spent the rest of the period working on your essays. Once the remaining hour had passed, you said goodbye to Matt with a hug before you and Luna headed over to the Charms classroom. You felt your heartbeat pick up, knowing it was because you were about to see Ben. You hoped you’d get to sit by him today, but also wondered if that would make Rey even more curious. 

Unfortunately, Professor Flitwick split you off into groups, similar to the ones you were in on Tuesday. Somehow Kylo ended up behind you again, and you hated the thought of him watching you all period. You wondered if he would say anything to you regarding your birthday, but also felt stupid for being hopeful. Kylo’s actions were pretty easy to read by now, and that was because they were non-existent. 

After class, you and your friends headed down to the Great Hall for an early dinner. You ate a pretty big meal, knowing that you’d be up late. You were excited to meet Ben and started to wonder what your gift would be. 

“What have you got planned for the rest of the night?” Rey asked as the three of you ate. 

“I think I’m going to head up to the dorm to work on that essay that’s due on Tuesday for Hagrid’s class.” you replied. 

“That’s a good idea, I think I’ll join you.” Luna said. 

“I guess I will too. I’ve yet to finish my Defense Against the Dark Arts homework. I do not want to be on Snape’s bad side.” Rey said. “Plus, the library gets too full with fifth years around this time anyways. And they’re so loud. Hard to concentrate.”

You and Luna nodded in agreement. The three of you finished your dinner and started to head up to the common room. You caught another glimpse of Kylo sitting at the Gryffindor table between Neville and Dean. He looked tired and sad, but you tried not to care. 

He wasn’t yours to worry about.

-

You were thankful that Luna and Rey had fallen asleep around 10:30. That meant it would be easier to sneak away without them asking any questions. With all the boring homework the three of you had, you were surprised you weren’t exhausted either. But, the thought of meeting up with Ben Solo was enough to keep you awake. 

You quietly slipped on your shoes and crept out of your dorm and through the common room. Corridor 16 wasn’t too far, but you wondered why Ben had picked that place out of anywhere else. It was mostly abandoned. There were a few classrooms that hadn’t been used in years, so not many students were ever around there. 

Turning the corner, you were a little disappointed to not see Ben waiting there for you. You leaned up against the wall, hoping that no one would come by. After a few minutes passed, you heard footsteps and your heart started to race. 

Ben Solo came around the corner, holding something behind his back. You smiled at him as he pulled you into a one armed hug. “Happy birthday, beautiful.” He said, revealing a small potted plant that he was holding. 

You were pleasantly surprised by the gift, it was just a simple lavender plant, but you still loved it. “Thank you.” You beamed. 

“Now, for your second gift.” Ben said, and you raised an eyebrow. 

“And what’s that?” you asked. 

Ben took the plant from your hands and set it down. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” He said before pulling you into a kiss. 

This was definitely more aggressive than the previous ones he had given you. It reminded you of the time you first kissed at that party in your fifth year. You kissed him back, opening your mouth and letting his tongue slide around inside. He reached one hand down your back until it was cupping your butt while the other rested gently on your neck. You felt yourself moan, which seemed to egg Ben on even more. 

He stopped kissing your lips and placed his hand on your chin. He turned your head to the side and started to suck on your neck. His hand that had been grabbing your butt moved towards the front of your body. You felt him slide up your skirt and move your panties out of the way. 

“You’re already so wet.” Ben said in your ear. 

You nodded, not knowing what to say. 

“Good.” Ben said while sliding two fingers inside you. You gasped, but he put his hand over your mouth to make you go quiet. “Don’t make any noise or we might get caught.” He whispered, and you nodded. 

Ben gave you one more heavy kiss on the lips before pulling his fingers out of you. He kissed down your body until he was on his knees before you. He looked up at you, put his finger to his lips while making the ‘shh’ gesture, and then pulled down your underwear. He started to kiss your thighs while rubbing your clit gently. 

“I hope you like your gift.” Ben said, and before you could say anything he started to eat you out. 

You felt yourself struggling to stay standing, it was too good to not make your legs shake. Ben was violently licking at your clit while moving two fingers in and out of you quickly. You let out a low moan, and Ben grabbed your thigh tightly to tell you to shut up. You lifted your chin to the ceiling and closed your eyes. 

He stopped licking your clit just as you felt your orgasm start to build. You groaned and looked down at him to see him kissing your thighs. “You’re so wet.” he said while admiring you. 

“What do you expect?” you asked, upset that he had stopped. 

Ben smirked at you. “Even like this and yet you’re still giving me attitude.” He bit your thigh again. “Brat.” 

You wanted to say something back, but he immediately went back to licking your clit. You could feel your orgasm building again, excited and hopeful that he wouldn’t pull away this time. You put your hands in his hair and started to pull on it. “Ben.” was all you could get out. 

“If you want to cum, then cum.” He said quickly. 

You nodded and leaned back even more into the wall. You pulled his hair as you moaned as quietly as you could, coming on Ben’s mouth in the process.

“Perfect.” Ben said as he removed his fingers from your slit and stood up, wiping his mouth with his arm. He looked at you, hot and catching your breath from the orgasm. 

“Thanks.” you mumbled, still trying to come back to reality. You couldn’t believe Ben Solo just ate you out and you came on his face. 

“Well, I hope you enjoyed your birthday present.” Ben said, placing his hand on your cheek and kissing your forehead. “There will be more of that very soon.” He whispered in your ear. He gave you a quick kiss on the lips and then disappeared around the corner. 

You stayed for a few moments, still catching your breath and trying to process what just happened. Truly, you did not expect your birthday present to be that. But, you liked it. A lot. You looked down at the potted plant and picked it up. Maybe Ben wasn’t as bad as everyone thought he was. Besides, if he really was, then he wouldn’t have put so much effort into getting you such a personalized gift, right? 

You started to make your way back to your dorm, panties soaked and legs wobbling. You prayed that Luna and Rey were still asleep so that you wouldn’t have to explain where you were and why your legs were so shaky. 

Ben was really good with his mouth. 


	23. Happy Birthday Pt. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is a long ass chapter as an apology for not updating in over a month. I've been busy and not feeling inspired. Anyways, enjoy. 
> 
> Warning: There is smut and alcohol consumption in this chapter. Reader does not get drunk, though.

You woke up early, to your surprise. It was 6am, so you decided to get a head start on your day. You looked over some notes from Herbology class and finished up an assignment before your two friends started to stir in their sleep. You smiled at Rey as she lifted her head to look at you. 

“Did you go somewhere last night?” she asked. 

You felt your heart rate pick up. “No, why do you ask?” you lied while thinking about the way Ben looked up at you from on his knees. 

“I must have dreamt it.” She replied, turning over in the bed. 

You sighed a breath of relief. You did not want to explain to Rey that you snuck out to get eaten out by her cousin. You glanced over at your potted plant on the window sill and started to grow nervous. Hopefully neither of them would notice it. 

You got up and got ready for breakfast. Luna and Rey were slow, but followed behind you. The three of you trudged down to the Great Hall, taking your usual seats at the Ravenclaw table. You glanced over at the Gryffindor table and met Ben’s eyes. He gave you a wink and you smiled back at him. It was still hard to believe what had happened. You didn’t feel very hungry but tried your best to eat something so that your friends wouldn’t bother you about it. After two pieces of toast, you called it good. “I’m gonna head over to the greenhouse.” you said to Rey. 

“I’ll come with.” She replied. You watched as she shoved a few more bites of food into her mouth before standing. “Bye, Lunes.” 

Luna said goodbye to the both of you before you made your way out of the Great Hall. You passed the Slytherin table, getting death glares from Draco and Hux, but chose to ignore them. You were sure they were still upset over how Matt talked to them the other day. 

“I hope Professor Sprout takes it easy on us today.” Rey said. 

“Me too. We’ve got enough homework as it is.” You replied. 

“Seriously, I didn’t know someone could assign so much homework for a class about plants.” Rey said and you laughed. 

Herbology went by quickly, and thankfully Professor Sprout just wanted everyone to work on the essay that was due next week over the weekend. You smiled to yourself knowing it was already halfway done. You tried to get a lot of your homework done over the week since you knew you’d be up late today and most likely hung over or exhausted on Saturday. 

“Are you excited for the party tonight?” You heard a voice come from behind you as you started to walk back up to the castle. 

You turned to see the Golden Trio and Neville. You nodded your head. “I don’t know much about what’s going on, but I’m definitely excited.” You replied to Neville. 

“I heard Matt and Ben were able to get a load of booze from one of the bars in Hogsmeade.” Ron said. 

“I’m surprised they knew where to get some.” Hermione said. 

“I’m not. Those idiots are too good at getting their hands on alcohol.” Rey said and everyone laughed. 

You parted ways with Rey and walked with the Golden Trio and Neville to potions class. You were excited to see Ben, but was wondering if it would be awkward after your little encounter the previous evening. You stepped into the classroom and was surprised to see him already there. He turned and waved you over to him, which helped calm your nerves. 

“Hey, get good sleep last night?” he asked. 

You felt yourself blush. “Definitely.” you replied. 

“Good, glad I could help.” Ben said and you smacked him gently on the arm. “What?” he asked while laughing. 

“Let’s just keep that a little secret between us, okay?” you whispered. 

Ben arched his eyebrow. “Are you embarrassed of me?”

“No, of course not. I just don’t need people knowing what we did in the middle of a hallway.” you replied. It was mostly true. Sure, you weren’t ready for people to know you had feelings for him, but you definitely didn’t want people to know you let Ben Solo eat you out in such a public place. 

“Fine, I get it.” Ben responded. “Just between the two of us.” He winked and you gave him a little smile. 

Slughorn started class, and you turned to pull your book out of your bag. You saw Kylo come in late and immediately turned back towards the front of the class. You didn’t even want to make eye contact with him. You wondered how he’d react if he knew what happened between you and Ben. You felt yourself smile, knowing that it’d probably make him jealous. 

Class was spent working on brewing a new potion. Everyone was working independently, but that didn’t stop Ben from asking you a ton of questions. You didn’t mind it, you had always liked helping people with classwork. You were a Ravenclaw, after all. 

This potion was a bit easier than the previous ones, so you and a couple others were able to finish quickly. You stayed for the rest of class, though. You didn’t know what you’d do with your free time and would rather be around your friends for a little longer before going off to do some homework. 

Class was dismissed and everyone pooled out into the hallway. Ben swung his arm around you as you walked with the Golden Trio towards the Great Hall. Matt came into view, and he ran up to you excitedly. 

“Today’s the day!” he said with a smile. 

“As I’ve been told.” you replied. “Are you guys gonna give me the details or should I figure the rest of it out on my own?” you laughed. 

“Well, since Rey already ruined the surprise, head up to the Gryffindor common room tonight around 7.” Matt replied. You could tell he was still annoyed that Rey had accidentally told you. 

“Sounds good.” you smiled. “I’ll catch you guys later, I need to finish up some stuff before then.” 

“Where are you going?” Ben whined. 

“To my dorm, where I can get things done without any distractions.” you said, giving him a look. 

“But I’m not a distraction.” Ben replied. 

You stared at him. Was he really being this obvious in front of your friends? You hoped no one had noticed. “Anyways, I’ll see you all at 7.” you waved goodbye to your friends and headed towards Ravenclaw Tower. 

You felt a little annoyed with Ben. But, you also felt a little bit like a bitch. You guys weren’t official, so no one needed to know you were seeing each other...right? Why did you even want to hide that from people, anyways? Was it because you didn’t want Kylo to know? But, why should you care? 

These thoughts clouded your mind as you walked up the Tower’s steps. You shouldn’t be so bothered by people knowing about you and Ben, but you couldn’t help it. You hoped that your homework would take your mind off it, even if it was only for a few hours. 

-

“Where is my hair tie?” Rey asked as she looked in her corner of the room.

“Just use mine.” Luna said, holding her hand out. 

“But it’s so girlie.” Rey whined.

“It’s just a black ribbon, it’s not that girlie, Rey.” you said to your friend. 

“How do I even put my hair up with this thing?” Rey asked. 

“Come here, you dork.” You said, grabbing the ribbon from Luna. “You’re gonna make us late to my own birthday party.” you joked. 

“Nothing wrong with being fashionably late.” Rey replied as you pulled her hair up and tied it off into a little bow. 

“See, you look great.” You said after finishing. “Let’s go.” 

The three of you exited your dorm room quickly and made your way out of the Ravenclaw common room. 

“How are we supposed to get inside of the Gryffindor common room when we aren’t even Gryffindors?” you asked as you walked through the halls. 

“I’m sure they have someone waiting outside or something.” Rey replied. 

“That seems like the smart way to go about it.” Luna said.

“I hope so. Last time I went to a Gryffindor party I was lucky and Seamus happened to be outside.” you said. 

The three of you stepped onto one of the moving staircases and held on tightly once it started to move upwards. It stopped at the portrait of the fat lady, and just as Rey had predicted, there was a Gryffindor standing outside. 

“Hiya, Paul.” Luna said to the boy. You had never seen him before, and by the look of him, you figured he was a few years younger. 

“Has Matt got you running the door?” Rey said jokingly. 

“Yes, ma’am. He’s paying me a few galleons to do it.” Paul replied. He turned to the portrait. “Bezoar.” he said, and with a wave of her arm, the portrait swung open to reveal the Gryffindor common room. 

The music was already playing loudly as people danced about with drinks in their hands. You saw Ginny sitting in a corner with Dean, her hand on his tie and smiling up at him. Seamus and Neville were dancing with their ties around their heads, Hermione was laughing at something Harry was saying to her, and Ron was cheering on Matt as he chugged a beer. You smiled to yourself, feeling like you were at home. 

Matt finished the beer and threw it on the floor while people cheered for him. He let out a roar and turned to see you. He ran up to you and threw you over his shoulder and spun you in a circle. “Happy birthday!” he yelled as he spinned. 

“Let me down you idiot.” you said playfully while smacking his back. He set you down and the two of you hugged. 

“Someone get them a drink!” Matt shouted. Ron twisted the top of a beer bottle off and handed it to you. 

“Cheers to you!” Matt said, and you held up your drink. 

“You’re gonna let me stay sober?” Rey asked her cousin. 

“Can’t let family go dry!” Matt said, grabbing another beer. “Luna, sweetheart, you don’t seem like a beer girl. Ron, get the lady some vodka.” He said, winking at Luna. You watched her blush and smiled to yourself. “Remember, tonight is the perfect night to get drunk.” He said, taking a swig of his drink. 

“Just as any night.” Rey said while rolling her eyes. 

“Does anyone want to dance with me?” you asked, and Luna nodded her head. 

She grabbed your hand and the two of you went out on the dance floor and started to dance together. The way she moved wasn’t like anyone you had ever danced with. She moved her arms about in the air and swayed her hips so gracefully, you were having a hard time following. She grabbed your hand and spun you around and you smiled at her. Matt came into view and tapped you on the shoulder and pointed to Luna. You nodded and moved out of the way to let him dance with her. Watching your two blonde friends enjoy each other’s company was precious to you. 

You felt someone put their hand on your back and you turned around to see Rey. She flung her arms around your neck and started dancing to the beat with you. “Are we gonna kiss?” she asked jokingly since the two of you maintained perfect eye contact the entire time. 

“No way, we can’t give a show to all these idiots.” you laughed. 

The two of you continued to dance until the song was over. Your drink was empty and you were ready for another one, so you excused yourself and went over to the drink table. You felt your heart drop when you saw Kylo sitting a few feet away by himself, just observing the room. You quickly turned your back to him and filled up your drink. Why was he even here? He didn’t care about you or your birthday. Maybe he just wanted to snoop around. You heard people cheering and turned to see Ron kissing a girl named Lavender. 

Hermione stood from where she was sitting with Harry, tears visibly in her eyes, and stormed out of the common room. You watched as Harry followed her, wondering if you should go too. Before you could make a decision, someone was wrapping their arm around your shoulder. 

“Glad you could make it.” Ben said, kissing you on the head. 

You glanced towards Kylo and saw him watching the two of you. 

“I’m glad I did too.” you grabbed Ben by the shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. 

Once breaking away, Ben looked at you with surprise. “Where did that come from?” He asked with a giant smile on his face. 

You didn’t answer, but instead pulled him in for another kiss, this time lasting longer. You let him slip his tongue inside your mouth and you gently massaged his with your own. You bit his bottom lip when you pulled away, and licked your lips while maintaining eye contact. 

“Don’t do that, you’re getting me all hot.” Ben laughed. 

“Is that a problem?” you said. 

“Only if you let it be one.” Ben said with a wink. He poured a shot each into two cups and handed you one of them. “Cheers to another year of you.” he said, and the two of you drank together. 

“Let’s get out of here.” you said, grabbing his hand. 

“Already?” Ben asked, looking confused. 

“Yeah, no one will notice.” you promised. “And no one is at my dorm.” 

You watched Ben arch his eyebrow. “Let’s go.” He said quickly, pulling you out of the common room. 

The two of you got onto one of the moving staircases and immediately started to make out. As it moved, you both struggled to stand in the same spot. You let your hand travel down his stomach and touch his hard cock from underneath his pants. You heard yourself moan, already wanting it. You figured he was big, but he felt a lot bigger than you thought he’d be. 

As the staircase moved, you had to keep yourself from diving down his pants. Ben had his hands cupped around your butt and pushing you into his groin. You grinded against him and heard him let out a deep breath. You felt yourself getting wet and wasn’t sure if you’d even make it to your dorm. 

Once the staircase stopped, the two of you quickly moved down the hallway. Hand in hand, you were basically running towards Ravenclaw Tower. The two of you turned a corner and stopped, seeing two figures a bit down the hall. As you got closer, you realized it was Draco and Hux kissing. Ben cleared his throat and the two of them split apart instantly. 

“Ah, I see you’re more than friends then?” Ben said while the two boys went red. 

“What do you want, Solo?” Malfoy snarled. 

“Nothing, just enjoying the show.” Ben replied. “Carry on, we won’t be bothering you.” he said, grabbing your hand and continuing to lead you down the hall. 

Once you were out of view, you turned to Ben. “No way.” you breathed as you both continued to make your way towards Ravenclaw Tower. 

“I know, right? No wonder they’re so close.” Ben replied. He grabbed you and pulled you close. “I don’t think I can wait.” He said. Ben picked you up and you wrapped your legs around him as he started to walk towards an empty broom closet. He struggled to open the door while the two of you made out heavily. He toppled in and you held on to him tightly so you wouldn’t fall. He slammed the door shut and put you down. “Perfect, now we’re alone.” He smirked. 

“What are you going to do to me?” you asked, biting your lip with excitement. 

“Whatever you want, sweetheart.” He replied. 

You cupped Ben’s face and pulled him into a kiss. He started to unbutton your shirt quickly and then let his hands slide up to your breasts. You moaned as he played with one of your nipples. You reached for his pants and started to undo his belt. You pulled his pants and underwear down together, and watched as his giant cock sprung out. You gasped.

“Do you think you can handle it?” Ben asked. You nodded your head. “Then get on your knees and suck it.” He said, pushing down on your shoulders. 

You gladly got on your knees, putting his giant cock in your hand. You started to move your hand back and forth while licking the head of his dick. Ben groaned, grabbed your head, and forced his cock into your mouth. You were surprised by his urgency, but took all of him. You gagged a little, but you could tell he liked it. You listened to him moan as he fucked your face. You reached one hand up and started to massage his balls, making him moan again. 

“I’m going to come inside you.” He said, and you nodded with your open mouth. “Stand up.” He demanded. 

You stood and Ben quickly spun you around. You placed your hands on the wall while Ben pulled your pants down. He reached between your legs and rubbed your clit for a few seconds. You felt him slip a few fingers inside of you and moaned with surprise. 

“You like that?” He asked and you moaned in response. 

He immediately took his fingers out and you groaned. You felt him place one of his hands on your waist while the other directed his cock inside you. You gasped at the size as he fully entered you and started to pump vigorously. Ben smacked your ass roughly while reaching a hand around to fondle one of your breasts. 

“Touch yourself.” he whispered in your ear, and you obeyed.

You started to rub your clit, legs shaking as your orgasm started to build. Ben’s thick cock was working your tight pussy so well, you didn’t think you’d last much longer. You felt him breathing in your ear as he continud to fuck you hard. It was difficult to keep yourself up with only one hand as you continued to massage your clit. Ben reached one of his arms around you and grabbed your throat. You felt yourself start to choke from the lack of oxygen, and Ben let out another moan. Your fingers were moving faster, matching the pace of his thrusting while his cock continued to move swiftly in and out of you. You let yourself come, moaning as you did. You felt your wetness start to drip down your legs and heard as Ben groaned, coming right after you. 

“The feeling of you coming on my cock was something I have wanted for a very long time.” He said in your ear before removing himself from you. 

You turned around to see him already redressing. You decided to do the same, not wanting people to realize you were absent from the party. Ben reached down and helped you with your pants since your legs were still shaking. Once fully clothed, he kissed you on the forehead and then on the lips. He smiled down at you before holding the door to the broom closet open for you. 

“Such a gentleman.” you joked. 

“Anything for whoever can make me come that quickly.” Ben laughed. 

You slightly pushed him as the two of you started to make your way back to the Gryffindor common room. Ben grabbed your hand and kissed it. 

“Thanks for the second birthday gift.” you said.

“Hey, technically this would be number three. And if you consider this a gift, I’m willing to give that to you daily.” He replied. 

You felt yourself blush. “So flattering.” you rolled your eyes at him and he grabbed you by the waist and picked you up. “What is with you Solo’s and picking people up.” you said as he raced down the hall with you, occasionally turning in circles. “You’re gonna make me vomit.” you laughed. 

Ben put you down, and you climbed onto the moving staircases again. “Do you think anyone will notice that we were gone?” Ben asked. 

You thought back to Kylo watching you with Ben. “Who cares. It’s my birthday party anyway. I can do whatever I want.” you shrugged. 

“True.” Ben replied. He said the password to the portrait and it swung open. The two of you stepped back into the party, people still dancing and drinking. You looked around, noticing that Kylo was gone. Hermione and Harry weren’t anywhere in sight, and Ginny and Dean were gone too. You saw Ron still making out with Lavender and Luna and Matt still dancing together. 

You walked up to Luna, wanting to know where Rey was. “Where’s Rey?” you shouted over the music and Luna shrugged. Matt grabbed you by the arm and tried to pull you into their dancing, but you refused. “I wanna find Rey.” you said before stepping away. 

“Rey’s missing.” you said once walking back over to Ben. 

“She’s a big girl, don’t worry.” He said, dancing slightly to the beat. 

“Let me just make sure she’s alright.” you said. “And then we can dance.” you promised. 

Ben pulled you towards him and kissed you on the lips. “See you soon, then.” He said and you nodded before walking towards the Gryffindor dorms. 

You started to walk up the spiral staircase but didn’t get too far before seeing two people making out. You stopped and excused yourself, but they broke apart to look at you. You then realized it was Rey and Finn. She looked at you embarrassed and you apologized for bothering them. You gave Rey a thumbs up before turning around and going back down to the party. 

You spotted Ben on the dance floor next to Luna and Matt, trying to mimic the way Luna was dancing. You joined them, grabbing Ben’s hand so the two of you could start dancing together. He turned you around and let his hands move up and down your arms. He eventually rested them on your waist while you moved up against him. It felt just like last year’s party, but this time you knew it was Ben. He grabbed your face and turned it to the side so that he could kiss you on the cheek while you danced together, making you smile. 

Ben spun you around and you continued to dance. He goofed off a bit, dancing in weird ways to make you laugh. You tried to copy him, but he kept changing his moves while you giggled. 

“This is the most fun I’ve had in awhile.” you said while trying to keep up with him. 

“I’m glad.” Ben said while grabbing your hand and spinning you around. “You deserve it.” 

The two of you danced together for a few more songs. You couldn’t believe how happy you felt. For once, you weren’t worrying about anything. You weren’t thinking about homework or Kylo, you were just smiling and dancing with someone you liked. Ben was so charming and sweet, you would have never guessed the two of you would have ended up together. 

Someone hugged you from behind and you stopped dancing. Ben rolled his eyes and you craned your neck to see Rey. 

“I’m drunk.” She said loudly in your ear. 

“And loud.” you replied. “Did you and Finn have fun?” you asked. 

“Shhhhhhhhh.” Rey said, releasing you and putting a finger to her lips. 

“You should probably take her back to your dorm. You know, before she starts to vomit.” Ben said. 

“I can handle my liquor, man.” Rey said, shooing him away. 

“I don’t believe that.” Ben laughed over the music. 

You looked at your best friend who was clearly wasted. “Yeah, I think we should go back Rey.” you said. You turned to Ben. “Sorry we have to end things here.” 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m glad for the time we had.” He smiled, reaching out to give your hand a squeeze. “I’ll see you soon.” 

“Yes, you will.” you said with a smile. You grabbed Rey’s hand and started to walk out. 

“Oh, and happy birthday!” Ben said again. 

You turned around and waved at him before disappearing behind the portrait with Rey. 

“What about Luna?” Rey grumbled as the two of you rode one of the staircases down to the first floor. 

“She’ll find her way back.” You replied. 

“I haven’t seen her in forever.” Rey said. 

“She was dancing, don’t worry. She’s ok.” you promised. 

“Good…” Rey said, trailing off. “I love her.”

“You love her?” you asked, looking at your friend. 

“Yeah, I love her.” Rey said again. “And I love you.”

You smiled. “I love you too, Rey. A lot.” 

“You do?” Rey said, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. 

“Of course I do, you’re one of my best friends.” 

“Come here.” Rey said, grabbing your face. 

“Rey-” you started. 

“No, just let me give you a kiss. Friendship kiss.” She kissed you on the cheek and you laughed. “I won’t tell Ben.” she said with a wink. 

You stayed silent. 

“I don’t care if you date my cousin, dork.” She said. “I just want you to be happy.” 

“Thanks, Rey.” you replied. 

“Are you happy?” She asked. 

“Yes, I’m very happy.” you replied quickly. 

“Good. If he’s a dick to you, I will kick his ass without question.” Rey said. 

You laughed. 

“I’m serious! No one messes with you. No one breaks your heart.” Rey said, stumbling a bit up the steps of Ravenclaw Tower. 

“Same goes for you. If Finn does anything to hurt you, I’m coming for him.” you said.

“Finn? What? No. We aren’t anything.” Rey said, waving her hand. 

“Didn’t look like it to me.” You replied, raising an eyebrow. 

“Ok, yeah I like him. I just don’t know. I feel like I should be more focused on studying than on boys.” Rey said while the two of you walked through the empty common room. 

“You can study and have a boyfriend, Rey. It’s possible, trust me.” you said. 

“I knooooooow.” Rey replied. “Maybe I’m just a little scared of commitment, I don’t know. My mom was never around, and dad raised me on his own. I don’t really know what a healthy relationship looks like.” 

“Don’t let that stop you from having a healthy relationship. Finn is a great guy and I know he’d be good to you. Don’t be scared, life’s too short to be scared.” You said. 

“You’re right.” Rey said, flinging herself onto her bed. “You always give the best advice.” 

“You’re sweet.” you said while taking Rey’s shoes off. 

“No, you are.” Rey replied. “Ben doesn’t deserve you. No one does. I hope you know how valuable you are.”

You felt tears starting to form in your eyes but you blinked them away. Rey’s words were surprising but meant a lot to you. Before you could even respond, you could hear Rey softly snoring. You stood up and wrapped the blanket around her before going to your side of the room. 

You took off your clothes and climbed into bed. You couldn’t stop thinking about Ben and his smile. You curled up and closed your eyes, continuously flashing between moments of tonight's events. You paused for a moment, thinking about Kylo. You let your mind linger on him for a moment before shaking the thought of him away. You shouldn’t be thinking so much about him, especially now that you and Ben were a thing. 

You rolled over and let out a deep breath. You slowly fell asleep, not knowing whether it was Ben or Kylo that you were thinking of last. 


	24. No Privacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little short. It also contains smut, so just a warning for those who don't like smut. Thanks to all who are reading this fic. It's my favorite out of the two I am writing <3

The next few weeks went by quickly. Between studying and making time for Ben and your friends, you hardly had any free time. You were doing well in your classes, your relationship with Ben was going good, and you weren’t having any problems with any of your friends. Everyone seemed happy and content. 

You were also looking forward to your next Slug Club meeting, but this time it was a party. Professor Slughorn had asked you all to invite a guest as your date, and you were excited to bring Ben along. Especially since it was a holiday party and you were going to get to see him dressed up. 

Over those few weeks, you got to know Ben pretty well. The two of you didn’t have a lot in common, but were both interested in what the other enjoyed. Ben listened to you talk about plants and potion combinations while you listened to Ben talk about his favorite sports teams. A few times he opened up to you about his family life. You learned that his parents weren’t doing well and were getting a divorce. It made him sad, but he thought it would be better for both of them to be separated. 

Ben also liked to ask you a lot of questions about the muggle world. He found it interesting that your parents were both muggles. He made you promise that the two of you would watch muggle tv together over the summer so that you could introduce him to some of your favorite shows. 

You also weren’t trying to hide your relationship with Ben anymore either. The two of you held hands in the halls, flirted in class, and would kiss each other goodbye. Sometimes you’d catch Kylo watching, and even though the thought of him sometimes occupied the back of your mind, you didn’t feel bad or care. Like you’ve told yourself before, he had his chance. 

The only thing that you and Ben had to hide was your time spent having sex. It was really hard to find a private spot in Hogwarts, especially when everyone has to share a room with a couple of people. Thankfully this evening, all of Ben’s roommates were out. 

“We’ve got to be quick, I’m not sure when anyone will be back.” Ben said, unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out. He started to palm it up and down. 

“So, you’re saying someone could walk in any minute?” you asked. 

“Shut up and start touching yourself.” Ben said. “We’ve got to be quick.” 

You liked it when he was a dick. You pulled down your panties and started to rub your clit in front of him while lying on his bed. Ben smirked at you, watching as you started to move a finger in and out of your slit. 

“Do more.” He demanded, and you listened. You started to masturbate with two fingers, letting a gentle moan out. “You’re so hot.” Ben said, watching as you made yourself wet. He pulled your fingers out from inside you and put them in his mouth. The two of you made eye contact as he licked your fingers and immediately pushed his cock inside of you. 

You let out a gasp and Ben started to thrust roughly. He was standing while you were laid out on the bed. He grabbed both your legs and put them up so that your feet were almost on his shoulders. The two of you were still fully clothed, but for some reason that made it more fun. Ben grabbed at your shirt, undoing some of the buttons so that he could get a look at your cleavage. He grabbed one of your breasts from out of your bra and started to rub your nipple, making you moan again. 

“If you don’t cum in the next two minutes, then you don’t get to cum at all.” He said while looking down at you. “Do you understand?”

You nodded. “Can I touch myself?” you asked. 

“No, I’ll do it for you.” Ben started to rub your clit while he continued to fuck you. The bed was shaking and so were your legs. The thickness from Ben’s cock felt so good as your pussy held onto it. “You’re so tight for me.” Ben moaned. 

You closed your eyes and felt your orgasm start to build. Ben was rubbing your clit even faster now but still keeping good rhythm with his thrusts. You started to clench your jaw as your body tightened and prepared to orgasm. You let yourself cum, moaning as he fucked you until you were done. He kept going, cumming only a few seconds later inside of you. 

Ben quickly removed his cock, tucking it away and zipping up his pants. He bent over to pick your underwear up from off the floor and slid it up your legs. You thanked him while fixing your hair and catching your breath. 

Someone burst through the door, catching you both off guard. The two of you turned to see who it was, and was met by an embarrassed looking Kylo. 

“Sorry, I was just looking for Finn.” He said.

Before either of you could say something, he slammed the door shut. 

“See, told you we had to be fast.” Ben said. 

“No privacy.” you replied, shaking your head. 

“I’ll take what I can get.” Ben said, kissing you on the cheek. 

You stood from his bed and started to look for your book bag. 

“Leaving so soon?” Ben asked, looking up at you with sad eyes. 

“I’m sorry. I haven’t finished my essay that’s due in Herbology tomorrow.” you admitted. 

“You of all people putting off homework?” Ben asked. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Well, it’s mostly finished. I just need to read over it and finish writing the conclusion. But, I’d rather see you than do that. Even if it’s for a little bit.” You said, bending over to kiss him on the lips. 

“Aren’t you sweet.” He said. 

“The sweetest.” you replied with a wink. 

“Give me another kiss before you go.” Ben asked, puckering his lips. 

You leaned over again to kiss him one last time. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” you said. 

“See you tomorrow.” Ben repeated. 

You smiled at him just before exiting his room. You took a deep breath before walking down the stairs and into the common room. Even though it was late, you were nervous you’d see someone you didn’t want to-and that someone was Kylo. 

Thankfully, the common room was empty besides a few second years. They all looked at you confused as you walked past them quickly. You couldn’t believe Kylo of all people almost walked in on you and Ben having sex. You wondered what would have happened if he actually did. Would he be jealous? What if he was and went after Ben in the moment? You bit your lip, enjoying the thought of it. 

“Wait, what the hell am I even thinking?” you thought to yourself. 

You started to walk back towards Ravenclaw Tower. You hated that Kylo was floating around in your thoughts. It was pretty easy not to think of him nowadays. He was hardly around. You didn’t know what he was doing or why he was so absent, but you didn’t really care. As long as he was out of sight, he was out of mind. Which left more room for Ben. 

You heard someone crying and stopped in your tracks. You looked around, but couldn’t find the source of the sound. You started walking again, this time slower. You rounded a corner and saw Ginny Weasley leaned up against the wall and in tears. 

“Are you okay?” you asked, walking over to her. 

She quickly wiped her eyes. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to pretend.” You said. 

Ginny sighed. “Well, I broke up with Dean.” She admitted. 

“How did that go?” you asked. 

“Not great. He wasn’t happy about it.” She said. “He thinks I’m breaking up with him for someone else.” 

“Why would he think that?” you asked. 

“Because he can tell by the way I look at Harry.” she replied. 

You paused for a moment. “You like Harry?” you asked. 

“Duh, I have since the moment I met him.” Ginny replied. “But I never thought I was good enough for him. Plus he’s best friends with my older brother. It just feels off limits.” 

“Don’t think like that. I was in a similar situation and I was also nervous about dating someone.” You said, putting your hand on her shoulder.

“Ben?” she asked.

You nodded. “I thought Rey would be weirded out by it, but she wasn’t. In the end, I think people just want the ones they care about to be happy. As long as they’re not doing anything bad, what’s the harm?” you asked. “Harry is a great guy, and you’re an amazing girl. He’d be lucky to have you.” 

“Thank you.” Ginny sighed. “But, I still have one more problem.” 

“What’s that?” you asked. 

“Well, you know how I told you like a month ago that I had feelings for one of my friends?” Ginny asked and you nodded. “Well, I don’t think she feels the same way about me either. Which really hurts, but I guess it just means I’m supposed like Harry after all.” 

You thought about Luna for a few moments, now knowing that this is who Ginny was referring to. You had remembered catching them looking at each other a few times. But, Luna had been spending a lot of time recently with Matt. You weren’t really sure what they were, you couldn’t tell if they were friends or more than that. 

“I think before you go after anyone you need to make a decision.” you said. “You can’t pursue one person when another is constantly on your mind. It’s not healthy and it’ll stress you out in the long run.” 

“You’re right.” Ginny replied. She stood up straight, no longer leaning on the wall. “I need to talk to Luna.” 

“I think that’s a good idea.” you said. 

“Thank you so much.” Ginny said, pulling you into a hug. “You give the best advice.” 

“You’re welcome.” you replied, patting her on the back. “I’ll see you around.” 

“See you.” Ginny said with a smile before heading down the hall. 

You watched her walk away, but you were focused on the words you had said to her. You felt like a hypocrite. Yes, no one should be pursuing someone if they have feelings for another. And what were you doing? Literally that. You liked Ben a lot, but you couldn’t stop thinking about Kylo. And that wasn’t fair to Ben. 

You sighed and continued walking back towards Ravenclaw Tower. Why were you like this? And why was it so hard to let go of someone you hardly had any interactions with? You only kissed a few times. Neither of you had ever opened up to the other, you hardly knew anything about his life. 

You rolled your eyes. Right now was not the time to be thinking about Kylo, especially when you had a paper due in the morning. 


	25. I Ruined Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for those who don't like drinking; reader gets drunk this chapter and makes a bad decision. 
> 
> Btw, if anyone wants to talk about fandoms, fan fics, characters, or literally anything, my instagram is @whatevermarty! Come say hi <3 I appreciate all of you for reading.

“I can’t believe you guys are going to that Slug Club party and I have to stay here and do nothing.” Rey said as she watched you and Luna get ready. 

“I’m sorry, Rey.” Luna replied. 

“If it makes you feel better, I won’t be there long.” you said and Rey groaned. 

“All my friends are going but me. What am I going to do?” Rey said as she sat on her bed. 

“Maybe some homework?” you suggested and Rey gave you a death glare. “Alright, sorry.” You did feel bad for your friend, and you would have invited her if you weren’t dating Ben. 

“Just bring me back some food, ok?” Rey asked.

“Of course.” you promised. “We’ll be back in a little bit.” 

“Have fun, don’t go too crazy.” Rey joked as you and Luna walked out of the dorm. 

“I feel bad that Rey can’t come with us.” Luna said. 

“Me too, I wish someone could have taken her.” you agreed. “I’m also curious as to what this will be like.”

“You should know better than me. You know, since you’ve gone to the meetings before.” Luna said as the two of you walked down the steps of Ravenclaw Tower. 

“I guess, but those were just...meetings. We’d sit around a table and listen to Slughorn brag about some student he used to know from the 70’s.” you replied. “This has been categorized as a party, so it must mean it’s different.” 

“Then we will see.” Luna said and you nodded. 

The two of you walked in silence for a little bit, and you enjoyed it. Luna was someone you enjoyed being in the presence of, and not talking didn’t make things feel awkward. The two of you had spent hours together where neither of you would talk. You weren’t like this with your other friends, it was just something special between the two of you. And even though you liked it, it also made you wonder what she was thinking. You looked over at her, wondering if Ginny had talked to her yet. 

“What?” Luna asked. 

“Nothing. Just admiring your dress.” you lied. Well, half lied. It was a nice dress. 

“Thank you.” Luna said with a smile. “You’re looking quite lovely yourself.” 

“Thanks, Luna.” you replied. 

The two of you stopped where you had told Harry and Ben to meet you before the party. You saw them at the end of the hall, and you were immediately confused. Ben wasn’t in formal wear, but Matt was with him...and he was. 

“Ben, what the hell?” you asked as they approached. 

“I’m so sorry, love. Please forgive me for being such an idiot but I can’t go tonight.” Ben apologized. 

You looked up at him and realized he looked a little ill. He was a bit pale and sweaty. “What’s wrong with you?” you asked. 

“My brother is stupid and ate one of the joke candies I bought from Fred and George’s shop.” Matt said. “He’s been-” Matt stopped as Ben threw up all over the floor. “Yeah, he’s been throwing up.” 

Luna looked down at the vomit and then up at Ben. “That’s unfortunate. You should go to the Hospital Wing.”

“No, it’ll go away eventually.” Ben said, trying to hold a second round of vomit down. 

“It says on the wrapper that it lasts four hours.” Matt said and you rolled your eyes. “This is not my fault, by the way. Ben shouldn’t have been going through my stuff.” 

“I was hungry, ok. I saw chocolate. Sue me.” Ben said before throwing up again. 

“I shouldn’t go to the party, I should stay at the dorm with you.” you said walking over to your sick boyfriend. 

“No, I want you to go. I’m sure Slughorn would be hurt if you didn’t. I don’t want you to get kicked out of the club or anything because of my stupid mistake.” Ben said. 

“Thankfully I fit in Ben’s suit.” Matt said. 

“I mean, you’re twins...so yeah.” you said. 

“Don’t be so sassy.” Matt said with a smile. 

“Don’t be so dumb.” you said back. “Does stupid run in the Solo genes?” 

“Yes.” Both Ben and Matt said. 

“Merlin, you two are going to kill me.” you replied. 

“You’re going to be late, you should get going.” Ben said, reaching out for a hug. 

You looked down at the vomit and back up at your boyfriend. “Don’t throw up on me.” you said as he pulled you into his arms. 

Ben started to pretend like he was going to vomit and you immediately pushed him off of you. “You suck.” you said. 

“No, you suck.” he said with a wink and you felt your face go red. 

“Really, even when you’re sick you’re like this?” you asked. 

“You can’t turn him off.” Matt said. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart.” Ben said before throwing up again. “I feel bad for whoever has to clean that up.” he said and you grimaced. 

You took one last look at your boyfriend as he started to run back towards the Gryffindor common room. You felt annoyed, but were at least thankful that Matt would take his place. You did not want to show up alone, and at least you’d be with your best friend. 

“Shall we?” Matt asked and you nodded. 

You, Matt, Luna, and Harry made your way to the holiday party together. Matt and Luna seemed a little close, but you didn’t mind. You knew Harry wasn’t interested in her, so it wasn’t like Matt was ruining anything for him. You half listened as your friends chatted together. You wondered who else would be brought along as dates and secretly wished Kylo would be there. You hated yourself for thinking about him so often, but he always found a way into your mind. 

“Merlin, I hope there’s alcohol.” you thought to yourself. 

The four of you reached the party and you were quite surprised at how well it was put together. The room that Slughorn was hosting it in had been decorated quite well. There were twinkling strands of light, white lace cloth hanging down from the ceiling, candles, and many other beautiful decorations. There were people dressed up in nice looking white tuxedos holding silver platters that either had drinks or food on them. You found the nearest one with drinks and grabbed one from the platter. 

“Does this have alcohol in it?” you asked and the boy holding it nodded. “Good.” you said before throwing back the drink. 

“Wow.” Matt said as he watched you place the empty glass on the platter and pick up another. You immediately downed it and reached for another. “Maybe you should wait-” Matt started but you gave him a death glare. 

“I’m thirsty.” you said before downing the third drink. 

“You’re gonna be a handful...” Matt mumbled under his breath. 

“What?” you asked, arching your eyebrow at him. 

“Nothing.” he said quickly. “Let’s get some food in you or something.” 

“I don’t need to eat.” you said, stepping away from him. 

“Where are you going?” Matt asked. 

“I don’t know.” you said before walking off. 

You grabbed another drink and started to look around the room. You saw a few people you recognized, but no one you wanted to talk to. You sighed. Kylo would be here by now if someone was going to bring him. You laughed to yourself. “Who the fuck would even bring him?” you thought. He didn’t hang out with anyone. At least not that you knew of. 

You saw Matt looking around for you and decided to hide behind one of the white lace sheets. You stumbled behind it, realizing that the alcohol had indeed kicked in. You fell into someone and jumped in surprise. 

“Hermione?” you asked, now seeing who you had accidentally fallen into. “What are you doing?”

She looked you up and down. “I could ask you the same.” 

“I’m hiding from Matt so that he can’t tell me to stop drinking.” you replied. 

“Rough night already?” Hermione asked and you nodded. “Me too. I was an idiot and invited Cormac Mclaggen.” She said. “He’s incredibly annoying.” 

“Why did you bring him then?” you asked. 

“Because I wanted to make Ron jealous.” she admitted quietly. 

You thought back to seeing Ron and Lavender kiss at your birthday party, remembering that Hermione stormed out soon after seeing it happen. 

“I’m sorry, Hermione.” you said, putting your hand on her shoulder. “Ron’s an idiot, not you.”

She laughed. “Thanks. But I still need to figure out how to get rid of him.” 

Someone came from behind the sheet, making both you and Hermione jump. 

“Merlin, Harry, don’t give me a heart attack like that.” you said. 

“Er, sorry.” Harry apologized.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Luna?” you asked. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Matt?” Harry asked. “In fact, I remember he said something about looking for you.”

Before you could answer, someone pushed back the sheet. The three of you turned quickly to see Professor Snape. “What are you doing?” he asked. 

“Hiding?” you said, unsure of what to say. 

“I’d advise the three of you to stop ‘hiding’ and come out and mingle with the rest of the students at this party.” Snape replied coldly. 

“What are you even doing here?” you asked, taken aback by your tone. 

“I don’t need to answer to a student.” Snape snarled. 

Another person pulled back the curtain, and by the look on Hermione’s face, you assumed it was Cormac. 

“Hermione-” he started before he threw up all over Snape’s shoes. 

You, Hermione, and Harry exchanged glances before casually sneaking out from behind the sheet, leaving Cormac to Snape. 

“At least I can hold my liquor.” You said before downing your fourth drink. 

“How many have you had?” Hermione asked.

“No one needs to know.” you replied while grabbing another. 

“I’ll take that.” you heard someone behind you say, ripping the glass from your hand. 

You turned to look at Matt. You felt another wave of annoyance wash over you. “What the hell was that for?”

“You’re drinking too much.” He said. 

“You’re not my fucking dad.” you said, reaching for another drink but Matt smacked your hand away. 

“Are you serious?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“You don’t need to be wasted at a holiday school party.” he said. 

“Whatever, I’m done here.” you replied, throwing your hand up in his face and walking out of the party. 

You listened as Matt chased you down the hall, calling out to you. You didn’t stop to listen to him. You were angry. You didn’t know why you were so frustrated in the first place. Ben couldn’t come, but then you were mad you didn’t see Kylo there either? And then on top of that, Matt was treating you like you were a child. 

“Please just stop walking so we can talk for a minute.” Matt said and you finally stopped. 

“What is with you Solo’s treating me like I can’t make decisions for myself?” you asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Matt replied. 

It was true, how could Matt know that Kylo constantly talked down to you last year. But, you were drunk and angry and could care less. 

“If I want to drink, I can drink.” you said, throwing a finger in his face. 

“Don’t.” Matt said, pushing your hand away. “I’m just looking out for you.”

“I don’t need anyone looking out for me.” you said, getting closer. 

“I’m not going to let you get piss drunk.” Matt said. 

“Fuck you, then.” you said, turning on your heel and continuing to walk down the hall. 

“Cut it out.” Matt said, grabbing your arm and spinning you around. 

You grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him closer. “Don’t grab me like that.” you said in his face. All of this felt too familiar. 

“Stop being a brat.” Matt replied. 

You pulled him down and kissed him hard on the lips. As soon as you stopped, you looked up into his eyes and saw him surprised. Immediately, you regretted what you were doing. This wasn’t Kylo, and this wasn’t last year. This was Matt, your best friend. And, your boyfriend’s twin brother. 

“Don’t tell Ben.” you mumbled. 

Matt stood there in disbelief. You were still drunk and disoriented. Not knowing what else to do, you left, moving quickly down the hall and back towards Ravenclaw Tower. As soon as Matt was out of sight, you started to cry. What the hell were you doing? Images of Ben started to float around in your head. He was smiling and happy, which made you feel even worse about what had just happened. You didn’t like Matt. You didn’t even know why you kissed him. It felt like deja vu. 

You saw someone coming from the other end of the hall. You quickly wiped your eyes but there was no way of hiding that you were crying. The tears kept falling. As they approached, you realized it was Kylo. You felt your stomach drop. This was quite possibly the worst time to be seeing him. You walked past him, trying not to make eye contact, but you felt his eyes on you the entire time. It made you sick. You wished he would say something, anything to comfort you, but you knew there was no way. 

You scrambled to Ravenclaw Tower and quickly up to your dorm. You threw the door open, making Rey jump.

“You’re back early.” she said. “Did you bring me any food?” She hadn’t noticed that you were crying yet. You stayed standing in the doorway, still sobbing. Rey immediately got up from her bed and threw her arm around your shoulder. “Are you ok? What happened?” 

You didn’t say anything but continued to cry as she brought you to your bed. The two of you sat together, her arm still around you. 

“Did Ben do something to you?” she asked and you shook your head no. 

“I’m a fucking idiot, Rey.” you finally said through tears. “I ruined everything.”


	26. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning; reader gets super drunk again and makes a bad decision.

It had been exactly a week since Slughorn’s holiday party. You’d be lying if you said you were feeling like yourself, but that wasn’t the case. You skipped every single class that you had with Ben. You got the homework assignments from Hermione, lying and saying you were sick, and having her turn them in for you. You spent most of your time in bed trying to avoid Ben. Sometimes he’d see you in the halls and call after you, but you’d quickly run away. 

That night, you didn’t tell Rey what happened. You just cried while she comforted you until you fell asleep. You were pretty sure no one knew what happened. Luna hadn’t said anything nor had anyone else. You weren’t ready to say anything to Matt either. But, you were thankful that he wasn’t telling anyone either. You knew that Ben didn’t know also, because if he did, you were sure he’d be a lot more adamant about talking to you face to face. You felt like a horrible partner, but you didn’t know what else to do. 

Since you were spending so much time hiding in your dorm, a lot of toxic thoughts were coming to mind. You’d think that you’d spend most of your time thinking about Ben, but you weren’t. You were thinking about Kylo. You knew that you needed to break things off with Ben. It wasn’t fair to him. You just weren’t sure how to do it yet. 

You heard someone approaching the door so you quickly pulled your blanket up to your chin and rolled over. You heard someone enter and started to pretend you were asleep. 

“I know you’re awake.” Rey said. You stayed silent. With your back to her, you assumed you’d be able to get away with it. “Come on, we need to get you out of bed.” Rey said, grabbing your blanket and starting to pull it off. 

“I don’t want to go anywhere.” you replied, grabbing the blanket and pulling it up again. You looked up at her and realized she was in her Quidditch uniform. 

“Look, I need to get going, but I’m giving you thirty minutes to get your ass out of bed, get dressed, and come support me. Ok?” she asked. 

“I don’t feel good.” you lied.

“I know you don’t. I can tell there’s something going on, and staying in bed forever isn’t going to help you feel any better.” Rey replied. You didn’t say anything, so she continued. “Listen, Luna will be up in a bit. Just go down to the pitch with her. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you need fresh air.” 

“Fine.” you replied. 

“Perfect.” Rey said. She started to walk towards the door. “I love you.” 

“Love you too.” you groaned. She smiled at you before leaving, and it took almost everything in you to not stay in bed. 

It took you a few minutes to get moving and start getting ready, but you didn’t want to let Rey down. You were slow with cleaning up and dressing yourself. Not because you were trying hard to look good, but because getting ready felt impossible. Just as you were about done, you saw Luna come through the door. She smiled at you, and you could tell she was happy to see you out of bed. 

She grabbed one of her jackets and threw it on before turning to you. “Ready to go?” she asked. 

“I guess.” you replied. 

The two of you made your way down the steps of Ravenclaw Tower and you couldn’t help but feel anxious. Your heart was racing, your palms were clammy, and your thoughts were on overdrive. You kept praying that you wouldn’t see anyone you didn’t want to see, but you knew that would be next to impossible.

“Are you alright?” Luna asked. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” you lied. You knew she could see right through you, but right now wasn’t the time to talk about your feelings. 

“Oi!” you heard someone shout behind you and you instantly felt sick to your stomach. You turned to see Seamus, Dean, and Neville approaching, and sighed with relief. 

“Hi there.” Luna said warmly. 

“Ready to lose to some Gryffindors?” Seamus asked as he took a swig from a flask. 

“I’m just here to support my friends on both sides.” Luna said with a smile. 

The five of you made your way towards the Quidditch pitch and you kept an eye out for any of the Solo triplets the entire time. Neville kept trying to talk to you about Herbology but you were having a hard time paying attention. You just kept nodding your head and saying ‘yeah’ every few seconds or so. You were nervous once realizing that you and Luna were going to sit on the Gryffindor side with the boys. You stayed close to Neville and sat between him and Seamus. You kept looking around, trying to pick out the triplets in the crowd. So far, you hadn’t seen any of them. You figured Kylo wouldn’t show up to a Quidditch match, but you weren’t so sure about Ben and Matt. 

“Want some?” Seamus asked, holding his flask out to you and you nodded. You took a few gulps before handing it back. “Impressive.” Seamus said with a head nod and you smiled. 

The game started and you pretended to watch. You spaced out for the majority of it, only clapping a few times when everyone else did and staying seated. Seamus kept offering you his flask and you accepted every time. You were surprised you didn’t feel drunk, especially with how much you had drank. 

You started to feel uncomfortable. Looking around, you realized that Ben was watching you a few feet away while he sat with Matt and Hermione. You quickly looked away from him and pretended to watch the game again. You started to tap your foot nervously, hoping the game would end soon so that you could blend into the crowd and disappear from his view. 

You took a few more swigs from Seamus’ flask before the game ended. Gryffindor won just by 20 points, sending the sea of Gryffindor’s around you into a fit of cheers. You stood quickly and started to walk down the bleachers, teetering a bit and realizing you were incredibly drunk. Since you were sitting the whole time while drinking, it didn’t hit you until you were moving around. You felt so incredibly annoyed with yourself, especially since the last time you drank you acted like an idiot. 

You turned around to see if anyone had noticed you walking away and caught Ben’s eye. He was trying to push past people to get to you and you started to freak out. You were not ready to talk to him, even though you knew you owed him an explanation. You sped up, bumping into people and stumbling about. You didn’t want to turn around to see how close he was getting, especially since you didn’t want Ben to know you were trying to get away from him. You heard him call your name just as you disappeared down the steps. 

As soon as you hit the bottom on the stairs, you ran. It was incredibly hard to run while intoxicated and you cursed yourself as you tripped over your own feet. Thankfully, you didn’t fall and steadied yourself before continuing. You looked behind you to see if Ben was anywhere to be seen, but he wasn’t. Gryffindor’s were starting to trickle down the steps and you assumed he got caught behind them. 

Not wanting to take any chances, you slipped underneath the bleachers and sat down. You were too drunk to continue to try and run from him, but you knew he wouldn’t find you if you stayed hidden here. Your plan was to wait here until everyone had filed out. That way you could sneak back up to your dorm without being bothered. 

You stared down at the grass while you listened to people walk past. You were thankful no one could see you because you started to cry. You kept grabbing fistfuls of grass and ripping them apart. You were so frustrated with yourself. Why couldn’t you just grow up and talk to Ben? You knew he deserved better, but you didn’t want to let him go. You were selfish. He deserved to have all of you, but you couldn’t give him that yet. You were still hung up on Kylo. 

Time passed, and even though you were sure that the last of the crowd was gone now, you couldn’t leave your spot. You couldn’t stop crying and just wanted someone to comfort you. You knew you couldn’t go to Matt or Ben, and Luna was probably still with Seamus, Dean and Neville. “Rey.” you thought to yourself. You were sure she’d still be in the Ravenclaw locker room getting changed after the game. 

You got up and peered out from underneath the bleachers. Just as you assumed, everyone was gone. You walked across the grassy field and over to the Ravenclaw locker room, hoping that Rey was still in there. When you entered, you realized it was empty. You weren’t sure, but assumed that because of the alcohol you didn’t really know how much time had passed. You sat down on one of the benches and started to cry again. 

“Hello?” you heard someone call and you quickly wiped your face. You saw Cho Chang appear around the corner. “Are you okay?” she asked. 

“No.” you admitted before starting to cry again. 

Cho sat down next to you and put her hand on your back.”What happened?” she asked. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” you said through tears. 

“That’s ok.” She said. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Can you just hug me?” you asked. 

“I can do that.” Cho said, pulling you into a hug. You rested your face in her shoulder, breathing in the smell of her worn Quidditch uniform. You kept crying, unable to stop yourself while she rubbed your back. You pulled away from her, and the two of you locked eyes. You had always thought Cho was beautiful, but never thought you’d be in a situation like this. You reached up and kissed her on the lips, but quickly pulled away. 

“I’m sorry.” you said quickly. 

“No, it’s ok.” Cho replied. 

“I’m drunk.” you admitted, trying to hold back tears. You were sure Cho could smell it on your breath. 

“Here, have some water. It might sober you up a little bit.” she replied, handing you her water bottle. 

You took it and had a few sips. “Thank you.” you said, handing it back to her. 

“We should get you back to your dorm.” Cho said and you nodded. She stood up and offered her hand to you. You took it and she helped you up. 

The two of you walked back towards the castle together. Cho had her arm around your shoulder as she tried to help keep you balanced. The halls were mostly empty, which you were thankful for. You were definitely embarrassed that you were so drunk you couldn’t walk. You were also thankful that Cho wasn’t trying to talk to you. You were so caught up in your own thoughts that it felt impossible to escape your mind. 

You were nervous to get back up to your dorm. You knew Luna would have gone off to look for you and Rey too. You didn’t want to explain to your friends that you ended up getting too drunk again. What was with you running off after drinking too much? Well, you did like to avoid confrontation. And currently, talking to any Solo boy felt like a confrontation. You knew that sooner or later you had to grow up and say something to them. 

The two of you trekked up Ravenclaw Tower. Cho was careful to keep a hold of you so that you wouldn’t fall down the steps. You occasionally tripped, but she was there to grab you. Even though you two had never been close, you were incredibly happy to have her help. If she hadn’t found you, you figured you’d be asleep under the bleachers right now. 

Cho opened the door of your dorm and helped you in. Both Rey and Luna stood from their beds with concerned looks on their face. “Are they ok?” Rey asked as Cho sat you on the bed. 

“Just had too much to drink, that’s all.” she replied. 

“Thank you.” you said, looking up at Cho as you laid down on your bed. 

“Of course.” she replied with a smile before leaving you with Rey and Luna. 

“Where did you go?” Luna asked. You figured you wouldn’t have gotten away with either of them not asking any questions. 

“The game was over and I thought you guys were behind me.” you lied. “And since I had too much to drink, I couldn’t walk really well. So I sat down underneath the bleachers until I sobered up a tiny bit.” At least it wasn’t a full lie. 

“Well, good thing Cho found you. We were worried.” Rey said. 

“I’m sorry.” you grumbled. 

“It’s fine. Just maybe don’t drink so much.” Rey replied. 

She was right. Maybe instead of getting blithering drunk every time you drank, you could tone it down and just have one. Two max. 

“I’m going to go to sleep. I feel like shit.” you said to your two friends. 

Luna removed your shoes for you and you crawled under the covers, still wearing what you wore to the Quidditch game. “Thank you, Lunes.” you said, and she touched you on the top of the head softly. 

“Get some sleep.” she said. 

You nodded and closed your eyes, thankful that you quickly fell asleep. 

-

You woke up early the next morning. Since you had fallen asleep around 8pm, you weren’t surprised to be awake before everyone else. You glanced at your clock and saw that it was 5am. You could hear Luna and Rey still softly breathing while asleep in their beds. 

You were embarrassed about what happened yesterday. You knew you needed to talk to Ben, and you didn’t want to put it off any longer. You knew Ben would be outside right now since he went running every morning. You quietly got dressed and crept out of your dorm, careful not to wake up your friends. 

The common room was empty as you passed through. You wondered if anyone else would be up at this hour, but since it was a Saturday you figured the majority of the school would be sleeping in. The halls were silent as you walked them, and it was quite pleasant. The silence let you think about what you were going to say to Ben. 

It was going to be hard, but you knew you had to be honest with him, Breaking up with someone wasn’t easy, but you thought that Ben deserved better. You weren’t good to him, and you didn’t want to lead him on any longer. If you were going to date someone, you needed to be fully committed to them. And even though you liked Ben a lot, you still couldn’t shake the thought of Kylo. 

As you walked out the castle doors, you were greeted by the cold morning mist. There was a thin layer of fog stretched over the grounds that had not yet been burned off by the early morning sun. You saw Ben jogging over by the lake. With a deep sigh, you started to walk over to him. He didn’t see you at first, but once you got closer he spotted you and ran over to you. He stopped in front of you, breathing heavily. You kept your head down, not wanting to look him in the eyes. 

“Finally decided to talk to me?” he asked. 

“Ben, I’m so sorry.” you started. 

“I didn’t even know if I could still consider you my partner. We haven’t talked in over a week. What the hell was all that about?” Ben was clearly irritated, and you couldn’t blame him. 

“I know, I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have done that to you.” you said.

“Well, I don’t really know what you want. I’m assuming you don’t either.” Ben crossed his arms. 

He was right. “I don’t know what I want, Ben. And that’s not fair to you. I’m sorry. But you deserve to be with someone better.” you said.

“That’s a shitty excuse. Just admit you were a terrible partner and we can carry on with our lives.” Ben said. 

“Ben, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’ve never been in a serious relationship, I didn’t know how to go about any of this. I’m so sorry, but I’m really not ready for a boyfriend right now. I’m going through some stuff and I need to figure that out before I commit to someone.” you said. 

“Alright.” Ben said. “So we’re breaking up?” 

“I’m sorry.” you said. 

“Whatever. I’ll see you around.” Ben turned on his heel and went back to running before you could say anything. 

You stood there and watched him for a few moments before heading back to the castle. You still wanted to talk to him, but you knew he was mad so right now probably wasn’t the best time. You hoped that the two of you could go back to being friends, but you weren’t holding out for anything. You knew that you weren’t good to him and that he deserved to be mad at you.

Instead of going back to your dorm, you decided to head to the library. You didn’t have any books or study materials on you, but you didn’t want to go back to laying in bed. You had spent too much time in bed the past week. You entered the library and browsed the shelves, looking for any random book to read. You found one that went over the history of the kelpie and took it to the back corner of the library to read. 

It was hard to focus, especially since people were now awake and coming into the library to work on homework. You looked up every time you heard footsteps, worried that you’d see someone you didn’t want to see. Thankfully, you went unbothered for an hour or so until two Hufflepuff’s came into view. You could tell that they were looking for somewhere to make out based on how touchy they were with each other. When they saw you sitting in the corner, they immediately went red in the face and went down one of the aisles of books to avoid you. 

You figured that enough time had passed and that most people had already gone to the Great Hall for breakfast. You put the book back on the shelf and headed down to get something to eat real quick. You didn’t run into any of your friends, just a few familiar faces. The Great Hall was pretty empty, but you saw Neville sitting at the Gryffindor table with another boy you didn’t recognize. He saw you and immediately excused himself. You watched as he got up from the table and walked over to where you had sat down. 

“Hey, we didn’t get to talk much yesterday. You kinda disappeared.” he said. 

“Yeah, sorry. I got a little drunk and sort of got lost.” you apologized. 

“That’s alright, I’m just glad you’re ok.” he said. 

You looked down at your empty plate. You weren’t sure if you would be able to eat anything. You could feel that you were hungry, but nothing sounded good. 

“Anyways, catching a late breakfast? Me too. I was up late studying for the Herbology test we have on Monday. If you want to go over any vocab together I wouldn’t mind.” he said. 

“Yeah, maybe. I’m not feeling too well at the moment, though.” you replied. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. 

You did not want to be asked that question. You were surprised you had held it together for this long. You felt tears start to form in your eyes and tried to blink them away. “I don’t want to talk about it.” you said quietly. 

“Are you sure? You know I’m always here for you.” Neville said. 

“Neville, right now might not be the best time for this conversation.” you said. 

“Hardly anyone is around. It’s ok. You can talk to me.” 

You felt a few tears roll down your cheeks. “I’m just an idiot, ok?” you stood from the table and wiped your eyes. 

“No you’re not-” Neville started but you walked away. He got up and followed you, trying to keep up. “Please don’t walk away from me, I just want to help.” he said. 

You stopped in the middle of the hall. You watched as a group of Slytherin girls walked by. They all gave you dirty looks and you felt embarrassed. You turned to face Neville. “Just follow me.” you said and he nodded. 

Neville followed you outside to a small hill that overlooked Hagrid’s Hut. You looked around to make sure no one was close by before you let yourself break down into tears. Neville pulled you into a hug with a frown on his face. You sobbed into his shoulder while he mumbled things in your ear, but you could hardly hear him over your crying. 

After a few minutes, you pulled away and looked up at him. “What’s going on?” he asked. “Did Ben do something to you?” 

“No.” you replied. “I broke up with Ben.” 

“What? Why?” he asked. “I thought you were happy with him.”

“I was. But it was complicated. You know how I’ve had feelings for Kylo since first year?” Neville nodded. “Well, I still have feelings for him. Even though he treats me like shit. I haven’t talked to him pretty much all year, and yet I still can’t get him out of my head. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. And on top of that, I got extremely drunk at Slughorn’s holiday party and kissed Matt. So I probably ruined our friendship because of that too. And I got drunk yesterday and kissed Cho Chang.” you admitted. “All before I broke up with Ben. So, I fucking cheated on him. Technically twice.” you started to cry again. 

Neville looked at you and you could tell he didn’t really know what to say. “People make mistakes, it’s alright. You just need to work on yourself for a little bit, that’s all. You and Matt will be fine, just talk to him when you feel ready.” 

“You can’t promise that. I’ve never had feelings for Matt, I don’t know why I kissed him. I just feel so stupid.” you said. 

“You’re not stupid, you’re just making bad decisions.” Neville said and you scoffed, even though you knew he was right. 

“Neville, why can’t I let go of Kylo?” you asked. 

“I don’t know. I’m not in your head. But I think you need to respect yourself more.” he said. 

You looked up at him shocked. “I do respect myself.” you said. 

“Maybe, but not enough. You’re hung up on someone who treats you poorly. You deserve better, and you need to realize that.” he said. 

You paused. Neville was right. “But how do I do that?” you asked. 

“That’s something you’ll need to figure out on your own.” Neville said and you nodded. “Just promise me you won’t date anyone until you’re over him.”

“Yeah, I guess. I just don’t know when that’ll be.” you admitted. 

“Well then, get ready to be single for a while.” Neville shrugged and you groaned. 

“Growing up sucks.” you said. 

“It does, but there is beauty in it also. You’ve changed a lot over the years, and I’m really proud of who you’ve become. Don’t get distracted by your mistakes. You are much more than them.” Neville said. 

“Why do you always give such good advice?” you asked with a small smile. 

“You’re too kind.” he said. “Now, let’s get you back to the Great Hall so you can try to eat something. Ok?” 

“Ok.” you said, looping your arm into his before heading back towards the castle. You were thankful for Neville and his advice. You planned on trying to talk to Matt in the next few days to come and hoped that he’d forgive you. You also decided to take Neville’s advice and focus on yourself for a bit and stay single. 

You didn’t care how long it took, you were going to get Kylo Ren out of your head. 


	27. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guy's...my classes this quarter are an insane amount of work. College consumes most of my life, so updates will be few and far between until I am on break in March. I will try to write as often as I can. Again, thanks for reading. I appreciate all of you <3

You were not looking forward to class this Monday morning since you knew you had Potions with Ben. You sat in Herbology trying to focus on the test on your desk, but was having a hard time. You looked over at Hermione and Neville, the two of them filling their answers in quickly and not even taking a moment to think. You knew the answers, you were just having a hard time focusing. Each time you read a question, the words seemed to jumble together and it didn’t even feel like you were reading English. 

You pushed through the rest of the period and was one of the last students to finish. You turned your test in to Professor Sprout and you could tell she was surprised by how long you took. You grabbed your book bag and exited the green house, not wanting to give her the chance to ask you about it. You wished that your friends had waited up for you. It would have been nice to walk with them to class. 

You made it down to the dungeons with hardly any time to spare. You were frustrated with yourself for taking so long with that test. There was no room for you to sit next to Hermione like you usually did. The only empty seat was right next to Seamus, who happened to be sitting next to Kylo. You let out a sigh. Today wasn’t going to be easy, was it? 

You walked over to the empty seat and smiled at Seamus. “Hello.” you said softly, trying not to look in Kylo’s direction. 

“You’re sitting with us today? Blimey, it’s my lucky day.” Seamus laughed. “You can help me with my recipes. I always end up ruining my potions.” 

“I always try to help, but you won’t listen.” You heard Kylo say and it felt as if your heart had stopped. Was Kylo talking to you?

You looked up and saw the two boys looking at you. Your hands instantly started to feel clammy. “Funny. Yeah, I’m sure I can help you out.” you said quickly. You looked to the front of the class, trying to act casual. You noticed that Ben was sitting with Neville and Dean. You wondered if he had turned to look at you when you walked in, or if he was just going to pretend like you didn’t exist. 

Slughorn went on to lecture for the first half of class which you were thankful for. You took notes and focused on him the entire time. You didn’t let your eyes slip away from him, even though you were tempted to watch Ben or turn to look at Kylo. Seamus kept asking to look at your notes because Slughorn was going too fast, so you had to turn slightly so that he could see your paper while you continued to write. You could see Kylo out of the corner of your eye and could tell every time he looked over at you. You felt your heart rate pick up every time he did, wondering why he was doing it so often. 

After lecturing, Slughorn dismissed the class to work on a potion that he had talked about earlier. You opened your book to look over the ingredients list before walking over to the herb cabinet. You collected what you needed and turned around, gasping when you saw Ben right behind you. 

“Sorry.” you mumbled before moving out of his way and walking back over to your desk. 

You set all your ingredients out on the table before you and carefully read over the directions in the book before continuing. You could feel Seamus watching you, so you made sure to go slow so that he could copy everything that you were doing. You could feel Kylo watching you out of the corner of his eye as he also tried to avoid looking directly at you. He knew there was no way he could somehow fix the way you felt towards him, but he still missed you. Kylo had no time for anyone, not even his closest friends, so he knew that even if he wanted to be in your life again it wouldn’t be possible or fair to you. 

Even though he didn’t want to say anything directly to you, it still felt nice to be in your presence. He thought you looked tired and stressed out. Kylo hadn’t talked to Ben about anything, but he figured that the two of you had broken up since you weren’t sitting together. He was watching his brother too and took note that he hadn’t said anything to you the entire class period. Kylo was impressed by how quickly you put your potion together. And even with Seamus following your every step, he was still able to somehow mess his up. 

“I shouldn’t have taken potions class this year.” Seamus sighed as he looked at his brown colored potion. 

“Don’t say that, Seamus. You’re doing great.” you smiled as you stirred your deep maroon colored potion. “You got close to it this time. Practice makes perfect.” 

“And this is why I’m not in Ravenclaw.” he said. “You guys always get everything right the first try.” 

“That’s not true.” you replied. 

“Ravenclaw’s are always perfect.” Seamus said. 

Both you and Kylo snorted at the same time. You glanced over at him, seeing a small smile across his face. 

“I’m far from perfect, trust me.” you said. 

Slughorn came over to your table to check all three of your potions. “Ah yes, as I expected. Great job.” he said to you. He glanced into Seamus’ cauldron. “Almost, boy, almost! I believe you may have skipped an ingredient.” he said. 

“How! I copied your every step.” Seamus grumbled. 

“I think you’re missing some figrosa leaves.” you whispered to him as Slughorn checked Kylo’s potion. 

“Perfect! Yes, you two are dismissed for the day. You both did lovely. Make sure to study your notes and I’ll see you in class on Wednesday.” Slughorn said before leaving to check on another group. 

You felt your heart rate pick up a bit. You did not want to be stuck leaving class the same time as Kylo. The thought of the two of you walking in the same direction in an empty hall gave you anxiety. You quickly grabbed your book bag and stuffed your items inside. You wished Seamus good luck and exited the classroom swiftly. 

As soon as the door closed behind you, you started to walk at a fast pace down the hall. You heard the door open and close again, knowing that Kylo was now behind you. You listened as his footsteps matched yours, hoping that he wouldn’t catch up with you. You could feel his eyes on you which made everything feel worse. 

You turned a corner quickly, trying to avoid Kylo’s gaze, and accidentally slammed into someone. You were pushed back and regained your footing before looking up to see Matt Solo adjusting his glasses. 

“ _ Merlin, what a horrible time to be running into a second Solo _ .” you thought to yourself. 

“Are you alright?” Matt said. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry for running into you.” you apologized. 

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” he asked. 

“Nowhere in particular.” you said, not wanting to admit you were trying to avoid his brother. You wondered how you had ended up on the bad side of all three of the triplets. “What are you doing out of class?” 

“I have a free period.” Matt said. “So I’ve just been wandering around.”

“And not spending your time doing homework?” you asked.

“Hey, you’re not my mom.” Matt joked and you smiled. It felt nice to be talking to him again, and you were thankful he was being friendly. 

“Look, I’m sorry about-” you started but Matt stopped you. 

“We don’t even need to talk about it. It’s fine. I don’t want to think about it.” he said. “I just want to go back to being friends.”

“Me too.” you admitted. “I’ve missed being able to talk to you.” 

“Same. When you disappeared for that week after everything I was really worried about you.” Matt said. 

You were surprised he was worried instead of upset. “That’s sweet of you.” you said. 

“You’re my best friend, I can’t help but worry. Even if you act a little ridiculous, I’ll still always care for you.” 

You smiled at him. “I don’t deserve a friend like you.”

“Yes you do, you idiot.” Matt said, pulling you into a hug. 

“You’re the idiot, not me.” you said with a laugh. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Matt replied once releasing you. “What have you got going on for the rest of your day?”

“Not much. I’m thinking about getting something to eat and then studying.” 

“Can I join?” Matt asked without looking at you.

“Yeah, of course.” you smiled. 

The two of you made your way down to the Great Hall and sat together at the Slytherin table. You were glad that Draco and his friends weren’t around since you were sure they’d try to pick a fight with you for being at their table. You and Matt ate together and for the first time in over a week and you felt happy. It was nice to have Matt back in your life and you were so thankful to have such a forgiving friend. 

After eating, the two of you went over to the library to study. As you walked out of the Great Hall, you passed Ben and noticed that he was trying not to look your way. You felt bad and wanted to say hello to him but knew it wasn’t the right time yet. 

Once you and Matt were sitting down at a table in the library, he looked over at you for a moment before saying anything. “So, I’m guessing you and Ben broke up.” he said. 

“Yeah, I broke up with him the other day.” you said. “It wasn’t easy.” you sighed. 

“I could tell you were putting it off.” Matt said. 

“What are you talking about?” you snapped. 

“Sorry, I don’t mean to come off as rude. I could just tell you were over Ben.” he replied. 

“I wasn’t over Ben. I still care for him. I just wasn’t ready to be with him.” you said. 

“Because you have feelings for someone else.” Matt said. 

You paused for a moment. Did Matt know you had feelings for Kylo? “What makes you think that?” you asked. 

“You’re my best friend, I can just tell. Plus, if you weren’t going through it you would have never gotten wasted at a party and then end up kissing me.” Matt replied. 

“Merlin, don’t bring that up again. You said you don’t want to talk about it!” You said with your face in your hands. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. You’re a good kisser and all it’s just-”

“Matt, seriously!” you said, cutting him off. 

“I’m just saying I could tell something was up, that’s it!” Matt defended. 

You stayed silent, not wanting to continue the conversation. 

“If you need someone to talk to about it, I’m here for you.” Matt said.

“You’ve got it wrong, I don’t have feelings for anyone. I just need to figure myself out before committing to someone, that’s all.” you lied. 

“Well, alright.” Matt said, dropping the subject. 

The two of you spent the next few hours studying together. You were thankful he didn’t bring up the kiss again. You wanted to believe that everything that happened during that week wasn’t you. It didn’t feel like you, at least. You just needed to focus on yourself and your studies, that was what was important. Boys didn’t matter. Especially not Kylo. 

You and Matt eventually packed up your things and went your own way. You decided to take the long way back to Ravenclaw Tower and enjoy the empty halls of Hogwarts. The silence was peaceful and it gave you more time to process everything that had happened today. Even though you had a positive interaction with Kylo, you reminded yourself that that meant nothing. You were holding onto things that were too small to matter, and you needed to remember that you deserved better. 

But it was still nice to see Kylo smile. 

You shook the image from your mind. What was actually nice was being able to fix your friendship with Matt. If Kylo and Ben were going to act like they hate you, at least you still had your best friend. In the end, there wasn’t much you could do. Kylo was clearly not interested in being friends anymore and you had already apologized to Ben. If he’s going to come around, then that’s up to him and not you. 

You could hear people whispering so you stopped for a moment to figure out where it was coming from. You walked slowly towards the source of the sound and turned the corner to see Draco and Kylo talking quietly together. You stared for a second until Draco spotted you, immediately going silent. You turned around and started to walk in the opposite direction but you could hear him following you. 

“Snooping around the halls and spying on conversations this evening?” Draco asked. 

You stopped and turned around to face him. You could see Kylo a few feet behind him trying not to look over at you. 

“No, Draco. I’m on my way back to my common room and just happened to run into you two. I wasn’t snooping.” you crossed your arms. 

“I wouldn’t talk with so much sass, especially since you don’t have your boyfriend here to defend you.” Draco said, taking a step towards you. 

“What are you going to do, hex me?” you laughed. “I’m not scared of you.” You turned to walk away but Draco grabbed you by the wrist. “Let me go!” you shouted, but he had a firm grip on you. 

“I’d be careful if I were you, mudblood.” he hissed before letting you go. 

You took a few steps back, glancing over at Kylo. This time, he was looking at you. “So, these are the kinds of people you’re spending your time with now?” you asked. “What the hell happened to you?” you said before walking off. You could hear Draco laughing at what you said, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t believe he had called you a mudblood while Kylo just stood there and let it happen. 

What was he doing late at night with Draco anyways? Not only was he a brat, but everyone knew his family was linked to Voldemort. Your mind started to wander, but you tried to reel it back in. Kylo wasn’t a Death Eater, was he? There’s no way. 

Right?


	28. Weirdo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I know I said updates won't be so often, but I love yall so much I couldn't wait and wanted to post another chapter for you. I have just completed sixth year! We only have three more chapters left after this one. Then, year seven! Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate all your comments and kudos. This is my favorite fic to write and it means so much that you all are reading it <3

You sat at the Ravenclaw table picking at your dinner. Rey and Luna were chatting about something but you weren’t paying attention. The last few days had been stressful, filled with lots of studying and tests. You were surprised you were even able to focus with everything going on. You and Ben still hadn’t talked, and you couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that you saw Draco and Kylo together. 

It was true that not all Slytherins were bad, but everyone knew about the Malfoy family. They were devoted Death Eaters, and many of the people Draco associated with also belonged to a family of Death Eaters. You knew about the Hux’s, the Parkinson’s, and you assumed his other friends were a part of it too. If Kylo was spending time around Death Eaters, there had to be a reason for it. 

He was one of them. 

But you didn’t understand why. You knew that he didn’t get along with his dad, that his relationship with his mother wasn’t the best, and that his brothers annoyed him, but none of that should make anyone want to be a Death Eater. Just because you had a bad home life doesn’t mean you should give your life up to serve Lord Voldemort. 

You sighed. Was Voldemort offering something to Kylo that would make it all worth it? You wished you knew him better. He didn’t seem power hungry, but you couldn’t know for sure. He was the quieter of the triplets. Maybe he just wanted attention from someone, regardless of if they were good or bad. 

You looked up from your plate and over to the Gryffindor table. Kylo was sitting alone, gazing off into the distance. He seemed even more unlike himself. Yes, he was quiet, but usually he sat with his dorm mates or other fellow Gryffindors. You looked around the table and saw the Golden Trio chatting, Dean and Seamus sitting rather close, and Neville chatting with Ben. Ben looked up at you and you quickly looked away. 

“Are you alright?” Luna asked.

“Hmm?” you turned to look at her. 

“You’re awfully quiet.” Rey said. 

“I’m fine. Just thinking.” you paused. “About school and stuff, you know?” 

“Try not to stress yourself out so much.” Luna said. 

“If you want we can study after dinner.” Rey replied. “I want to get as much homework done as possible before the quidditch match between Slytherin and Gryffindor tomorrow. You know the Gryffindor’s are gonna throw a party afterwards.” 

“Yeah, that sounds good.” you replied. The truth was, you had already finished pretty much all of your homework for the weekend, but you were sure you could find something to read. Plus, it would be nice to spend some time with your friends. It could take your mind off things. 

The three of you finished up and got ready to head over to the library. You took one more glance at the Gryffindor table before exiting the Hall, wondering what was going on in Kylo’s mind. What may bother you the most about him spending time around Death Eaters is knowing that they hate muggle borns. You were muggle born, and Kylo knew that. Did that mean he hated you too? 

“Hey, Rey!” 

The three of you turned to see Finn approaching. He nodded at you and Luna before continuing. You watched as Rey’s cheeks turned a bit pink. It was funny to watch her interact with someone you knew she had feelings for. 

“Where are you three headed?” he asked.

“Going to study in the library.” Luna answered. 

“Nice. I’d like to get some studying done myself. May I join?” he asked. 

“Of course.” you replied. 

Rey smiled at Finn before the four of you made your way over to the library. You remembered seeing them make out at your birthday party and wondered how much further they’ve progressed in their relationship. You weren’t sure if they were officially dating or just hanging out. Rey was a little private about her love life, which didn’t bother you. You understood. Things got around Hogwarts quickly and people loved to gossip. It was better to keep things private. 

You sat down at your usual spot in the back of the library. Rey and Finn sat awfully close to each other while Luna was just a few inches from you. You didn’t pay much attention to anyone and focused on pretending to study. You pulled out one of your school books and flipped through the pages until finding something to read. You didn’t mind having Finn around, but you wondered if Ben had said anything about you. Him, Finn, and Kylo were roommates. You secretly wanted to ask how he was doing, but knew you shouldn’t. It probably wasn’t the right place or time. 

Besides, you were sure Ben would talk to you once things blew over. It had only been a few weeks, so he deserved to be spending this time alone. You couldn’t help but miss him, though. And that made you feel selfish. The reason you broke up in the first place was because you couldn’t stop thinking about another guy. Ben did deserve better, and you knew you couldn’t be the best version of yourself for him. At least not yet. 

Someone came around the corner of one of the bookshelves and you looked up to see Matt smiling. “I knew I’d find you guys here.” he said, taking a seat next to Luna. 

“What do you want?” Rey said with an attitude, not even looking up from her homework. 

“I’m bored, figured I would find some friends. It’s not easy being a Slytherin with no Slytherin friends.” he said. 

“I thought you were getting along with a few of them.” you replied. 

“I am, but they’re not as fun as you guys.” Matt shrugged. 

“Well, I’m sorry you’re bored but we’re doing homework.” Rey said. 

“Not me, I’m finished.” you closed your book and looked up at Matt. 

“I thought you were stressed out about your studies.” Rey said while giving you a look. 

“Yep, and I feel better now.” you said, standing from the table. “Want to go do something?” you asked, looking at Matt. 

A smile spread across his face. “Hell yeah I do.” 

“See you guys later.” you said to your friends while swinging your book bag over your shoulder. 

Your friends looked up at you confused, but you didn’t stick around to wait and hear what they had to say. You lead the way out of the library with Matt following behind you. You had thought that sitting with your friends would take your mind off things, but being silent while everyone studied made it worse. You needed an actual distraction. 

“What were you thinking we should do?” Matt asked. 

“No idea, and I don’t care either. I just couldn’t sit in silence anymore.” you replied. 

“Something on your mind?” Matt asked and you scoffed. 

“When is something not on my mind.” 

“Want to talk about it?” he asked. 

You stopped in the middle of the hallway. “Actually, can I ask you something?” 

“Go for it.” Matt replied, leaning against the wall. 

“Have you seen Kylo hanging around the Slytherin common room. Or with Slytherins in general?” you asked. 

Matt laughed. “No, I haven’t. What makes you ask?” 

You paused, wondering if you should say anything. “No reason. I just don’t really see him spending time with anyone, so I was wondering if maybe he had friends in other houses or something.” 

“Kylo is just a weirdo. He likes being a loner. He’s always been like that.” 

“Got it.” you replied, and the two of you continued to walk down the hall together. 

“Why are you thinking about Kylo anyways?” Matt asked. 

You felt your heart skip a beat. “I just saw him alone at the Gryffindor table while eating. I thought it was weird since he usually sits with people.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but it would at least distract from the fact that you constantly thought about him. Matt didn’t need to know that. 

“I wouldn’t put too much thought into it. Like I said, he’s weird. We’re twins and I feel like I hardly know him. He’s just not very social, and when he’s feeling like a hermit, he pretty much doesn’t talk to anyone. When we’re at home, sometimes he’ll spend days in his room without any of us seeing him.” Matt said. 

“You’re right, that is weird.” you replied. 

“I know, imagine being related to him. Glad I didn’t get whatever genes he has.” Matt laughed. “I couldn’t imagine being that distant from people. I go crazy if I’m alone for only a few hours.” The two of you laughed. “Besides wondering about Kylo, have you been doing alright?” Matt asked. 

You thought it was nice of him to check in with you. “I’m ok, just taking one day at a time.” you said. 

“That’s good. Laid off the alcohol then, eh?” he laughed. 

“You idiot.” you said while smacking him on the shoulder. “Don’t remind me.” you rolled your eyes. 

“Just making sure you’re being good.” Matt teased. “Drunk you is a bit chaotic.” 

You laughed. “Definitely more than a bit.” 

“Are you still worrying about Ben?” Matt asked. 

“A little. I feel like an asshole more than anything. I didn’t think Ben had any feelings, but I feel like I definitely hurt him.” you replied. 

“Ben likes to pretend he doesn’t have feelings but he’s a soft boy deep down.” Matt replied. “Especially when he was younger.”

“Oh yeah?” you asked, a bit surprised. 

“Definitely. He hadn’t shown you his emotional side yet?” Matt laughed. “He puts up a front, but once you really get to know him, you see it.”

You felt bad. You didn’t mean to hurt Ben, and you honestly thought he would get over you after a few days. “I hope he’ll be my friend again someday.” you sighed. 

“Just give him time.” Matt replied. “He’ll come around. Especially if he likes you.” Matt winked. 

“You’re stupid.” you replied. 

“What? You can’t deny that he does. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be such a mope right now.” Matt shrugged. “Just try not to worry so much. Everything will work out.” 

“It feels like every time we chat, you’re giving me advice.” you said. 

“We’re friends. Am I just supposed to ignore your thoughts and feelings?” Matt asked. 

“No.” you sighed. “I appreciate you a lot.” 

“And I appreciate you. I know you’d do the same.” He replied. 

“Enough with the emotional stuff.” you smiled. “You’re going soft on me.”

“You know I’ve always been soft.” Matt said. 

“Yeah, sure.” you laughed. “Not everyone would know.” 

“You’re right. Most people just think I’m some loud guy who likes to joke.” Matt shrugged. 

“Nothing wrong with that.” you said. “Better than being known as a dick.”

“Definitely. That’s Malfoy’s title anyways.” Matt said and the two of you laughed. 

You continued down the hall together, both enjoying each other’s presence. You were so happy to have your friend back. Having someone to talk to did help a little bit, even if you weren’t completely honest with what was going on inside your head. It was definitely better than sitting in a library pretending to read. After chatting a bit more, Matt walked you over to Ravenclaw Tower since it was starting to get late. 

“You’re my best friend and all, but I’m not walking you up those stairs.” Matt said. 

“I don’t blame you. I can’t believe I have to walk up them at least once a day. But, you get used to it.” you replied. 

“I’d say Ravenclaw’s have the worst entrance to their common room.” Matt said with a laugh. 

“I agree. Why do we have to get the one with a million steps up a staircase?” you replied. 

“Maybe it’s because you’re all nerds and the founders figured that Ravenclaws wouldn’t be much of athletes, so they found a way to work in some exercise for all of you.” Matt joked. 

“Asshole.” you said, hitting his arm. 

“I’m just joking.” Matt said with a smile. 

“Sure.” you laughed. “Anyways, I’ll see you later.” 

“You’re going to the party after the game tomorrow, right?” Matt asked. 

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Then I’ll see you there.” Matt replied. 

“Sounds good,” you said while starting to walk up the stairs. “Talk to you tomorrow.” 

“And just remember, no alcohol for you!” Matt shouted up the staircase and you rolled your eyes. 

“Ok, dad.” you responded before disappearing up the steps. 


	29. Friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a long chapter for yall <3

“Let’s go.” Rey said as she waited for you and Luna to finish getting ready. 

“The game doesn’t start for another twenty minutes.” you groaned. 

“So? I just want to get down there.” Rey replied. 

“You just want to see Finn.” Luna responded. 

“No!” Rey replied. “I mean, yeah I wanna see him, but I don’t want to be late to the game.” she said. 

“Yeah, so more time spent around Finn.” you winked at your friend and she rolled her eyes. 

“Alright then, let’s get going.” Luna said and the three of you made your way down to the common room. 

You were surprised by how empty it was, even though the Quidditch game was Slytherin against Gryffindor. The stands usually filled out whenever those two houses played against each other since it was always a really fun game to watch. As a Ravenclaw, you didn’t feel like any house was really your rival, but everyone knew that Slytherins and Gryffindors were. 

The three of you made it down the steps of Ravenclaw Tower and you watched as Rey looked around for Finn and smiled to yourself. After walking through the halls for a few seconds, he was spotted with Seamus, Dean, and Neville. She waved them over excitedly. Everyone said hello to each other, and you were proud of yourself for declining when Seamus offered you his flask. 

“I don’t need a repeat of last time.” you said. 

“Fair enough. Come on, let’s get some good seats.” Seamus said. 

“How have you been?” Neville asked as the group started to move towards the stadium. 

“I’m doing better.” you said, feeling happy that you weren’t lying for once. 

“I’m glad to hear it.” Neville said with a smile. 

“Glad to hear what?” Matt asked as he appeared behind Neville and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, making him jump. 

“Merlin, Matt.” Neville said once realizing it was him. 

“Sorry I’m late. Got caught up with homework.” Matt said. You watched as he looked around and noticed that Luna was with the group. 

“You were doing homework? That’s surprising.” you joked. 

“Hey, if I didn’t do my homework then I would be failing all my classes and I can’t deal with mum or dad if I do that.” Matt laughed. “They’d never let me out of my room during summer vacation.” 

“At least you have something to keep you motivated.” you said with a smile. 

Dean and Seamus lead the group up into the Gryffindor bleachers. You liked sitting with the Gryffindors because they were always friendly and didn’t mind having people from other houses in their section. You were pretty sure they didn’t even care that Matt was a Slytherin, especially since he spent almost all his time with Gryffindors. 

“Who do you think will win?” Matt said to you. 

“Us, of course.” Seamus said, overhearing his question. 

“I agree. Gryffindor always beats you guys.” you shrugged at Matt. 

“Ah, yeah I don’t care if we lose. I’ve got friends on the Gryffindor team anyways.” Matt said, taking a swig of Seamus’s flask. 

The game started and you were surprised by how well you were able to focus on it. You didn’t find yourself glancing around or looking for Kylo. By this point, you assumed he was off sulking somewhere. You did see Ben a few rows down with a group of seventh years that you didn’t know very well. He looked happy, but you figured it was because he was drunk. He was teetering a lot on his feet and was louder than usual. You took note of Matt and Luna sitting somewhat close together and wondered if they were starting to become a thing. You hoped her and Ginny finally had a talk together, but you didn’t want to ask or intrude on their personal life. 

What was the cutest was seeing Rey with Finn. They’d celebrate together every time Gryffindor got a point, sometimes even hugging in excitement. It was nice to see your friend smiling so much. You didn’t know Finn well, but you did know that he was a good guy. Just like Rey had said to you when you started dating Ben, you want the best for her. And if Finn ever hurt her, well you’d be there to help her through it--and kick his ass. 

The Slytherin’s scored and everyone around you started to boo the opposing team. You looked up at Matt who was also jeering the Slytherins. You laughed. “Even your own house?” 

He rolled his eyes at you. “Especially my own house.” he shouted over the crowd. “Still not really sure how I ended up there.” 

“You’re right, you belong in Hufflepuff.” you replied, trying not to laugh. 

“No way in hell, I’m not enough of a stoner for that house.” the two of you laughed, even Luna giggled as she listened to the conversation. Everyone knew that if you wanted good weed, you got it from the Hufflepuff’s. 

“Maybe Gryffindor, then.” you said. “You’re not smart enough to be a Ravenclaw.” Matt flicked you on the nose. “What the hell?” you asked while smiling. 

“I could do better than you in school if I tried!” Matt said loudly as everyone on your side of the stands cheered. You looked up to see that Gryffindor had scored. 

“Sure, Solo.” you replied before turning back to the game. You saw Harry floating above the stadium, looking for the snitch. A few moments later, he bent down and lunged downwards. 

“Potter sees the snitch!” Seamus yelled excitedly. He started to hit Dean across the chest. “Potter sees the snitch!” he repeated, jumping up and down. 

“Go, Harry!” you heard Finn yell. 

Everyone started to cheer louder. Draco had realized what Harry was doing, and was following close behind. You held your breath as Harry reached out, finally grabbing the golden snitch. Everyone around you started to yell with happiness as the announcer said, “Potter has the snitch! Gryffindor wins!” 

Seamus pulled you in for a hug, still jumping up and down as he did. You saw Dean and Neville cheer together, and even caught the end of Finn and Rey having a celebratory kiss. The Slytherins were already filing out of the stands, annoyed with the Gryffindor’s as they celebrated their victory. 

You knew that tonight was about to be way wilder. 

-

“I look weird.” Rey said as she fidgeted with the dress she had on. 

“You look lovely.” Luna said as the three of you descended the steps of Ravenclaw Tower.

“I look weird.” Rey said again, trying to pull her dress down. She was wearing a plain, black mini dress that hugged her hips quite well. It was definitely different to see her wearing one, but you thought she looked pretty. “I don’t know how you talked me into this.” she said, looking at you. 

“I think you look hot.” you replied. 

Rey smirked. “Oh yeah?” 

“Definitely. I’d be trying to kiss you tonight if that wasn’t already Finn’s plan.” you said. Rey blushed and looked away. “Speaking of, are the two of you...like dating?” 

“No!” Rey said quickly. She realized her tone and blushed again. “No.” she said again, more softly. 

“Why not?” Luna asked. 

“I’m not ready for a boyfriend!” Rey defended as the three of you made your way through the halls towards the Gryffindor common room. 

“Ok, Miss Commitment Issues.” you joked and Luna laughed.

Rey rolled her eyes, then turned to Luna. “You’re not one to talk, by the way. I see you and Matt. Are you two dating?” she asked while folding her arms. 

“No, we just enjoy each other's company.” Luna responded simply. 

“Why aren’t you calling her Miss Commitment Issues?” Rey asked you. 

You laughed. “Luna is Miss Secretive.” you replied, and you saw a small smile creep across Luna’s lips. 

“You’re just Chaos, then.” Rey replied. “Chaos is your new name.”

“What!” you slapped her arm. 

“You are so chaotic, don’t even act like you’re not.” Rey laughed. 

“Only if I’m drinking…” you replied. “Which I will not be doing tonight.” 

“Why not?” Rey whined. “Drunk you is so fun.”

“What, I’m not fun sober?” you asked jokingly as the three of you stepped onto the moving staircase.

“You’re fun sober.” Luna replied. 

“But really fun when drunk.” Rey said. 

“Don’t pressure people to drink.” Luna said, now smacking Rey on the arm. 

“Why is everyone smacking me?” Rey shouted dramatically. Some of the portraits raised their hands to their ears, annoyed by the loudness. 

The three of you stood before the portrait of the Fat Lady. She looked down at you, knowing you weren’t Gryffindors. “Don’t they usually have someone standing outside to help people from other houses get in?” you groaned. 

“Oi!” you heard, and the three of you turned to see Neville, Seamus, and Dean coming up on one of the staircases. Seamus had his wand out, and it looked like he was performing a charm on something but you couldn’t be sure. Neville also had a very worried look on his face. As they approached, you realized Seamus and Dean had already been drinking. 

Seamus and Dean stopped in front of you, Neville trailing behind a bit. He caught up, and you watched as he ran into something that wasn’t visible. “Ow!” Neville shouted, giving Seamus an annoyed look.

“Sorry mate, you know what i’m doing here, though. Should be more careful.” you were surprised Seamus wasn’t slurring his words. The man smelled like a brewery. 

“And what exactly are you doing?” Rey asked. 

“Already ran out of booze. People are going crazy in there. Had to get some more. Used Harry’s invisibility cloak to carry some kegs through the hall’s without being caught.” Seamus lifted the invisibility cloak and sure enough, you saw a keg floating mid air. He covered it again before continuing, “Heavy as hell, though. No way we could carry these.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t see that.” the Fat Lady said, looking disappointed. 

“Ah, you’re a right gal.” he said, smiling up at her. “Bubotuber.” he said the password, and she swung the portrait open. “On you go.” he said, waving his hands at you and your two friends. “Guests first.” 

“Such a gentleman.” Rey said with a hint of sarcasm. 

“Hey, Miss Skywalker. This  _ gentleman _ is providing the alcohol you’ll be getting drunk with.” Seamus said, leaning in towards her. 

“Right, cheers.” she said. “My hero and all.” 

You laughed. The scene before you was quite like any other Gryffindor party. Loud music, lots of people, dancing, and of course, a lot of drinking. You saw Ben thrashing about on the dancefloor, sweating with his shirt off. He looked insanely inebriated, as if he had been continuously drinking since the game. You saw some girls try to dance with him, but he pushed them away with his movements. You smiled to yourself, happy to see him disinterested in anyone else. Something inside you wanted him back, but now wasn’t the time to act on that. Especially while he’s that wasted. 

Unsure with what to do with yourself, you made your way over to one of the armchairs and sat down. You saw Harry and Ginny sitting close on one of the couches, so deep in conversation that they hadn’t noticed you. You glanced around and saw Rey grabbing a drink from Seamus, as well as Neville to your surprise. Matt and Luna had found each other on the dance floor, moving together in the odd way that she danced, but you loved it so much. Ron and Hermione were chatting together as well, Hermione with her back against the wall while Ron stood over her, a drink in each of their hands. Seeing all your friends together wasn’t saddening, but quite joyous to you. Sure, you didn’t have a partner, but that didn’t mean you felt lonely. All your friends loved you, and you loved them. What kind of friend would you be to get jealous when seeing them all in happy, blossoming relationships?

“Want to dance?” you looked up to see Neville holding out his hand towards you. 

“Really?” you asked, feeling surprised.

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Neville blushed. 

“No, I don’t mean it like that. Just surprised you want to dance is all.” you replied. 

“Seamus got me to take a shot or two. I’m feeling good. What would be better is dancing with a good friend.” he replied. 

“That sounds great.” you replied, taking his hand and letting him help you up off the chair. The two of you made your way over to the dance floor. Neville took your hand and spun you around. “Didn’t know you could dance!” you smiled, surprised by him again. 

“I practiced a lot for the Yule Ball, guess the skills stayed.” he replied. 

The two of you danced together for a few songs, and it was wonderful. Nothing sexual or anything, just two friends dancing together. You glanced around occasionally, seeing Dean, Seamus, Luna, Matt, and Ben dancing about in the crowd as well. Ben had spotted you with Neville and could feel his anger starting to rise. What were the two of you doing together? It made him feel sickly jealous. 

Another song started and you turned to face Neville as you continued dancing. Everything seemed great, until you saw a look of shock fall across Neville’s face as he looked at something just behind you. You heard whoops and cheers, and turned to see Ben Solo kissing Dean Thomas on the lips quite aggressively. 

“What the-oi!” Seamus yelled at Ben. He ripped Dean away from him and got in his face. “What the hell do you think you’re doing.” 

“I don’t know.” Ben said with a smirk. “I didn’t know the two of you were together-” Ben was shut up as Seamus launched a fist at his nose. Ben took a step back, blood now dripping down his lips. “He kissed me back, not my fault-” Seamus punched Ben again, this time in the eye. 

Ben knew he was defeated. The music was still playing loudly as everyone looked at him, the blood from his nose now falling to his chest. Ben backed up, turned around, and started to stumble up the stairs to his dorm. 

You turned to face Neville. “I’m sorry, but I think I need to go help him.” 

“That’s ok, I understand.” Neville said. 

You nodded and started to make your way out of the crowd. Everyone had started dancing again, as if what just happened never did. You started to climb the stairs up after Ben, easily finding him only a few steps ahead. He was really drunk and trying his best as he moved slowly up each step. 

“You idiot.” you mumbled as you took his arm. 

Ben turned to face you. “You’re the idiot.” he slurred. 

“Let me help you.” you said, ignoring him. His breath smelled horrible, purly of alcohol. 

“I don’t need your help.” he said, shrugging you off. He took another step and wobbled into the wall. 

“You clearly do. Don’t be so stubborn.” you said, grabbing his arm again. 

“Fine.” Ben pouted. 

You helped the large man up the stairs, it being much harder than anticipated. Ben seemed to think it was ok to lean on you, and he was definitely giving you all his weight. You groaned, getting him up the final step. You leaned him against the wall next to his door, opening it and then pushing him through. He lost his footing, almost falling to the floor. You steadied him before helping him to his bed. You sat him down and walked over to the bathroom, looking for a towel to clean his bloody nose with. 

You wetted the towel with some warm water before walking back over to him. He sat quietly, letting you clean him up. Once finished, you went back into the bathroom, this time wetting a different towel with cold water. You handed it to Ben. “For your eye.” you said, and he nodded as he pressed the cool towel to his eye. 

“Thank you.” he mumbled. 

“You’re welcome.” you replied, sitting on the bed next to his. You assumed it was Finn’s and hoped he wouldn’t mind. 

The two of you sat in silence for a bit, Ben looking down at his lap the entire time. You glanced around the room, realizing it was pretty clean for a boy’s dorm. You noticed that the curtains had been drawn around two of the beds, but didn’t put much thought to it. 

“Why are you acting so stupid?” you finally asked. Ben looked up at you. “I know you’ve been drinking since the quidditch game.” 

“Things are rough right now.” he replied simply. 

“Because of me?” you asked. 

Ben folded his arms. 

“Look, I’m sorry.” you started. 

“Then why were you dancing with Neville? I thought you said you weren’t ready to date--that you needed time.” Ben spat. 

You laughed. “Neville?” you looked at Ben. “Really, you think I’m into Neville?”

“Don’t laugh.” Ben said in a grumpy tone. “I don’t know what goes on in your head.” 

“Neville and I are just friends. When did you get so jealous?” you asked. 

“I’ve always been jealous!” Ben replied. 

“There is no need to be, Ben!” you raised your voice. “In fact, I think about you often. I miss you, ok? But I’ve been leaving you alone. I thought you were pissed at me.”

“So you weren’t ignoring me?” Ben asked. 

“What? No!” you looked at him shocked. “You thought I was ignoring you? We broke up, for Christ sake. I thought you wanted space. It’s not common for people to go back to being friends right after they break up.” 

“Oh, alright.” Ben replied, looking at his lap again. “So, friends.” 

You sighed. “I like you more than a friend still. It’s just not the right time yet.” you replied. 

“But why not?” Ben asked. 

“Trust me, it’s just not.” you replied. 

“Tell me why.” Ben demanded. 

“I can’t, it doesn’t make sense.” you didn’t want to tell him you had feelings for Kylo that you were trying to work out. “I’ll know when the time is right, and I’ll tell you.” 

“Promise?” Ben asked.

“I promise.” you replied. “Now, you should try and sleep. You’re awfully drunk. Probably won’t even remember this conversation tomorrow.” you said to him. 

“Kiss me goodnight.” Ben said, puckering his lips. 

“I’m not kissing you goodnight.” you said sharply. 

“Why not?” Ben whined. 

“We aren’t dating, Ben. Friends don’t kiss each other.” you rolled your eyes at him. 

“Maybe we do, though. We’re a different kind of friendship.” he tried his luck, but you wouldn’t do it. 

“No, Ben.” you said sternly. 

The curtains covering one of the beds started to move, and you looked over to see Kylo getting out of bed. He had his pajama bottoms on, but no shirt. You felt your stomach drop, knowing that he had heard your whole conversation with his brother. 

“Kylo, you whore.” Ben threw a pillow at him. “Can’t you see someone’s here? You’re practically naked.” Ben turned to you. “Avert your eyes, I don’t want you looking at other men.” 

“You’re an idiot.” you said to him. 

“And I’m not naked.” Kylo chimed in. 

You chose to ignore him, still pissed that he hadn’t defended you when Malfoy called you a mudblood. “Ben, go to sleep. No more drinking.” 

“I’ll go to sleep.” he said, laying down on the bed. “Friends?” he asked.

“Yes, friends.” you replied before exiting the bedroom. 


	30. Good Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I keep updating because I feel bad for ghosting you guys like, twice and went a month or so without any updates. So enjoy them! I finally have everything outlined and ready to be written. And yes, I am already thinking about a new plot and series haha.

You were happy to wake up without a hangover, especially since everyone around you was currently suffering from theirs. It was hard to get Rey and Luna down to the Hall for breakfast, but there was no way you were missing out. If you were to go hungry, you’d make sure they heard of it the rest of the day. 

The three of you sat at the Ravenclaw table, Luna sipping hot tea periodically while Rey looked down at her plate, not touching a thing. You merrily ate, feeling bad for your friends. You glanced over at the Gryffindor table, and everyone seemed to be feeling the same way as Rey and Luna. Neville had his head on the table, Dean was trying not to gag at the smell of food, Seamus was staring into his cup of black coffee, and Ben was nowhere to be seen. You weren’t surprised by this, he had a lot to drink last night. 

You took another bite of food and turned towards the Slytherin table. Matt was pinching the bridge of his nose, his glasses sitting on the table before him. He looked like he had a bad headache, so much so that he had passed on breakfast. You turned to face forward, the Gryffindor table in view again. You saw Harry staring at someone across the way, wondering who it was. You wanted to turn again, but thought you were moving around too much. You glanced at your two friends who were still struggling through their hangovers. 

Harry’s eyes started to move until they were looking towards the exit of the Great Hall. You turned your head a bit, catching a glimpse of the back of Draco Malfoy’s head. As soon as he was gone, you looked to Harry again. He had gotten up quickly and started to make his way out too. You raised an eyebrow, taking another bite of your breakfast. None of Harry’s friends had noticed him get up. You figured Harry hadn’t had much to drink the previous night like his friends. Even Hermione looked like she was having a hard time. 

You started to tap your foot under the table, feeling impatient. Something inside you wanted to follow Harry. You were curious what Draco was up to, and clearly so was Potter. You stood from the table abruptly, accidentally knocking your drink over. “Shit, you mumbled as it spilled across the table.” 

“You alright?” Rey managed to ask. She looked queasy. 

“Just need the bathroom.” you lied. 

Rey waved her hand at you and went back to staring at the table in silence. You tried your best to casually walk out of the Great Hall, even though you were practically speed walking. As you made your way out, you looked left and right, trying to decide where Harry and Draco would have gone. You decided right, figuring maybe Draco was headed towards the dungeons. You turned, walking just as fast as you had in the Great Hall. As you walked down the hall, you caught the door to the boy’s bathroom closing. Something inside you knew that was where the two boys were. 

You crept up to the door and placed your ear against it. You could hear them talking, but it was hard to make out what they were saying. For some reason it sounded like all the faucets were running, easily masking their conversation. You held your breath, thinking that maybe it would help you hear something. You shifted your feet and heard the sloshing of water beneath them. You looked down to see water spilling out through the bottom of the bathroom door. 

“What the hell?” you said out loud, stepping back. You watched the water as it started to change color. It looked like a washed out red. Your heart jumped. Had Draco hurt Harry? You burst through the door, wand in hand. You saw Harry standing in the middle of the bathroom, blood all around his feet. Harry turned to look at you, a panicked look on his face. You looked past him to see Draco lying on the floor with giant slashes across his chest and stomach. He was bleeding badly, his blood seeping into the flowing water from the sinks. 

“I don’t know what happened…” Harry said, his voice trailing off. 

“What is going on in here?” you heard Severus Snape’s voice and turned to see him with a look of horror on his face. 

“Professor I-I don’t know how it happened. I-” Harry tried to explain himself but Snape silenced him. 

“Out!” he yelled at the two of you. “Get out!” he shouted again. 

You listened and immediately left the bathroom, Harry following behind. As soon as the door closed you turned to face him. “Harry-” you started. 

“I don’t know.” Harry said before you could ask. “It was just a spell I found written in a book. I didn’t think it would hurt him like that. I don’t know what I was thinking.” 

It was surprising to see Harry so torn up about harming Draco Malfoy, but you would be pretty shocked too if something like that happened. “I think you should go find Ron and Hermione.” you said, and he nodded. He started to leave, but you grabbed him by the hand. “Harry, it’s not your fault.” you said, trying to make him feel better. 

“But it is my fault.” he replied before letting go of your hand and heading back towards the Great Hall. 

-

The next few weeks seemed to go by slower than you would have liked. You and your friends had been busy preparing for end of year exams, but it made it worse that they all were seeing someone. You spent a lot of time alone and found yourself feeling down because of it. Rey had been spending a lot of time with Finn, no surprise there. But of course, she was still too scared to call him her boyfriend. Luna and Matt had been spending a lot of time together too, which was pretty shocking. You loved them both, but never in a million years would you have imagined them together. But, as they say, ‘opposites attract’. 

Neville was too busy doing extra work for Professor Sprout and often missed meals because of it. Seamus and Dean, just like everyone else, were either studying or spending time together. Ben tried to hang out with you much more often than you’d like, but you declined most of the time. You still weren’t ready to date, and you could tell he was trying to win you back. The only time you were around him was if you were with a group studying in the library. It was enough to tide him over, but he was still pretty pushy. He always asked to walk you back to Ravenclaw Tower and tried to catch you in between classes. You wished you were ready to date him again, but knew it wasn’t a good idea. Kylo still occupied your mind much too often. 

Speaking of, Kylo was just as absent as he has been. He was missing class often, making you wonder what he was up to. You never ran into him in the halls, saw him at meals, and if you were lucky he’d show up for one of his classes. He’d arrive, keep to himself and sit in the back, leaving as soon as the class was dismissed. Kylo looked tired and empty. He had dark circles under his eyes and was starting to look thin too. You pitied him, but every time you caught yourself doing so, you would remember what Draco called you. It still pissed you off that Kylo hadn’t come to your defense. 

Today you were feeling a lot more down than usual. Your dorm was empty which made it worse. Luna and Rey were off somewhere studying for a class that you didn’t share with them. You wanted to sleep in instead, and you were thankful they didn’t try to talk you into going with them. 

Your thoughts were eating at you and you knew you couldn’t stay in bed all day. You decided to force yourself to go for a walk, hoping that you’d run into a friend who wasn’t busy. You glanced outside and was happy to see nice weather. Though the sky was clear, you knew better than to fall for it. Scotland was cold, even on clear days. You grabbed your cloak and threw it on before making your way down through the common room. It was filled with Ravenclaws quietly studying. A few were playing a game of chess while others sat with books on their laps. You saw Cho Chang and she looked up as you passed, giving you a smile. You smiled back at her before leaving and descending the steps of your Tower. 

Pushing past one of the many doors to the castle grounds, you took a deep breath of fresh air. You looked around, noticing that no one else was out enjoying the nice day. The lake was still and shining while the sun hit it just right. You snuggled up in your cloak a bit more before crossing over towards the body of water. As you walked, you started to smell the faint scent of marijuana. You stopped, trying to figure out where it was coming from. You walked along the castle walls until finding Matt Solo sitting by himself, leaning against the castle as he smoked a joint. 

“Having fun?” you asked. 

Matt jumped, almost dropping his joint. “Merlin, don’t sneak up on me like that.” 

“You should have cast a spell to keep the scent of marjuana from floating all around the castle grounds. You were easy to find.” you replied, taking a seat next to him. 

“Oh, fuck off.” Matt said playfully. He offered you the joint but you declined. 

“Sober life treating you good?” Matt asked, taking another hit off his joint. 

“Good enough, I guess.” you replied. 

“Good enough?” Matt repeated. “What’s going on, friend?” he asked, taking one last hit before putting the joint out. 

“It’s too much to bother with.” you replied while looking out towards the forest. 

“You can bother me.” Matt replied, nudging you a little bit. 

You sighed. Were you really about to admit to Matt how you feel about his brother? You shifted a bit so that you were facing towards him. “Alright then.” you said. “I’ve had feelings for Kylo for a while now-” 

Matt cut you off with a loud snort. “No way, Kylo? How did I never notice?” You looked at him, frustrated that he interrupted. “Sorry, please continue.” he said quickly. 

“Yeah, anyways…” you looked away from him. “He’s been acting super weird. I’m worried about him. It started last year, but this year is much worse. I don’t know what’s going on. I mean, you’re his brother. Haven’t you noticed too?” 

Matt nodded. “Definitely been weirder than he normally is. I haven’t asked him about it though. Now that I think about it, I hardly see him. Even if I wanted to ask, I wouldn’t be able to.” 

“Matt, I saw him with Draco a month or so ago.” you said. Matt looked surprised. “Draco called me a mudblood and Kylo didn’t do anything.” 

“What?!” Matt shouted, his face growing red. He started to stand up but you pulled on his arm. “No, let go. I’m going to beat Malfoy’s face in.” 

“No, you can’t. Too much time has passed, it’s fine.” you said, trying to get him to calm down. 

“Too much time has passed? No way in hell, Draco is always deserving of an ass beating.” Matt was trying to shake you off of him. 

“Please, Matt. Just stay.” you looked up at him with sad eyes. “I really need someone to talk to.” 

“Fine, I’m sorry.” Matt said, sitting back down the way he was before. “You know how I am.” 

“Yes, and I appreciate you so much, I couldn’t ask for a better friend.” you replied. Matt smiled at you while pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “I just want to know what’s going on with Kylo. It makes me nervous.” 

“You know, he was weird over the summer too.” Matt said, looking deep in thought. 

“How so?” you asked. 

“He was hardly home. I don’t know who he was with. Even if I asked, I’m sure he wouldn’t have said. He’s always been secretive. But at the time, I didn’t think much of it. I really just thought he was avoiding Ben and I. I know he was pissed off at us for going to the Ministry with Harry that night.” Matt replied. 

You remembered that night well. Kylo had also been mad at you for going. You tried not to think about it, but the image of him begging you not to go was vivid in your mind. “I wonder if he was with Draco.” you finally said. 

“I hope not. I wouldn’t want him around people like that.” Matt replied. 

“Death Eaters.” you said. 

“Do you think he’d-?” Matt couldn’t get himself to say it. 

“I don’t know. I hope not.” 

The two of you stayed quiet, both looking out towards the forest. You were sure Matt didn’t like the idea of his brother becoming a Death Eater. It was weird to think about. Someone you knew so well and for so many years deciding to turn towards the dark, seemingly so easily. It was haunting. 

Matt grabbed your hand, pulling you from your thoughts. You looked up at him. His eyes were sad, just as yours were. “We’ll figure this out. I’ll talk to him, even if I have to wait until summer. There’s no way I’m letting my brother become one of them. He’s too good. I know Kylo can come off as mean, but he’s not like that. He’s sensitive deep down. I know he’s a good guy.” 

You squeezed Matt’s hand. “Thank you for letting me talk to you.” 

“Of course, thank you for trusting me.” he squeezed your hand back before letting go. 

A weight felt as if it had been lifted from your shoulders. Sure, things weren’t immediately better. But, you were glad you finally told someone about Kylo, and trusted that Matt would talk to him. You hoped he would find some answers, but most of all you hoped that Kylo hadn’t turned to Voldemort.


	31. The Funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3

Books were sprawled out all across the table before you as you sat in the library with your two best friends. All three of you had been cramming for your exams, wanting to keep your reputations as Ravenclaw’s. The school had been quiet all day, which was nice. Everyone else was keeping to themselves as they prepared for the last few weeks of school. 

“Where is the charm’s textbook?” Rey asked as she looked over the books laid out. 

“Right here.” you said, pointing your wand at it. 

“Thanks.” she replied before going back to studying. 

You were thankful to have friends who took their studies seriously. It was easy to focus and get your homework done. 

“I knew I’d find you guys here.” Came a familiar voice. You looked up to see Matt Solo smiling at the three of you. 

_ There goes the peace and quiet,  _ you thought to yourself. 

“Get lost, we’re studying.” Rey snapped at her cousin. 

“Hey, that’s no way to talk to family.” Ben said as he came around the corner. 

“Two of you now? Wonderful.” Rey groaned. 

Matt took a seat next to Luna and Ben sat next to you. You smiled kindly at him, trying your best not to seem annoyed. “Have you done any studying?” You asked the two boys, not looking up from your book. 

“Some, yeah.” Matt said casually. 

“I try not to worry too much about it.” Ben said as he put his feet up on the table and leaned back. Rey pulled out her wand and lobbed a spell at him. He immediately kicked his feet off the table. “Ow! What was that for?” 

“Keep your nasty feet off our study table.” Rey replied. 

“My feet aren’t nasty.” Ben said, pretending to pout. He turned to you. “Right? You’ve seen them.” 

“Sure, Ben.” You said, and everyone but Ben giggled. 

Ben leaned in to whisper, “Oi, friends are supposed to have each other’s back!” He had a smile painted across his face. 

“They tease each other too.” You replied. 

“Oh, you’re right.” Ben said, giving you a wink. You rolled your eyes and ignored him. 

You heard fast footsteps and looked up to see Hermione with a worried look on her face. 

“Are you alright, Hermione?” Luna asked in her soothing voice. 

She shook her head. “I can’t find Harry. He’s been gone for hours.” She sat down at the table next to Rey. 

Rey threw an arm over Hermione’s shoulder in a comforting way. “Is Ron missing too?” She asked. 

Hermione shook her head again. “He’s around looking for Harry also.” 

“That’s weird.” Matt said, seemingly deep in thought. “Has he been acting strange lately?” Matt paused. “Well, stranger than usual, I guess.” 

“He’s been a little weird all year, swears up and down that Malfoy is a Death Eater. Thinks he’s been sneaking around the castle doing something.” She replied. 

You glanced at Matt. You thought about all the times you saw Kylo wandering the halls alone—and the time he was with Draco. Matt seemed to remember what you had told him, his face looked worried. 

A scream came from somewhere outside the library. All of you turned towards the source of the sound. Both the Solo boys stood up immediately, their wands drawn. 

“What the hell was that?” You asked, looking up at Ben. 

“Maybe a hex that went wrong? You know how third years like to mess with each other.” Rey suggested, but by the look on her face, it didn’t seem like she believed herself. 

Another scream came, this time from another direction. “Stay here.” Matt said. “We’ll go see what’s going on.” 

“Stay here? Absolutely not.” Rey said, standing with them. “We should stick together, you idiots. We don’t need a knight in shining armor to keep us protected.” You, Hermione, and Luna all nodded in agreement. 

“Right, let’s go then.” Ben said as another scream came from somewhere in the castle. 

All of you made your way into the corridor, wands at hand. Something felt off, and you didn't like it. The halls were dark, the candles and lights that usually coated the inside of the castle were absent. Ben and Matt lead the group down the hall, stopping for a moment every time they heard someone scream. 

“Maybe a prank went wrong.” Rey said quietly. 

“Maybe.” You said, trying to stay hopeful for your friend. 

Someone came around the corridor and everyone stopped in their tracks. It was a Hufflepuff fifth year. Their face was ghostly white and their eyes were glossed over. “Don’t go that way.” He said. “Something isn’t right.” 

“What do you mean?” Hermione asked. 

“There’s people all over the castle. All covered in dark cloaks. Some of them are shouting that Dumbledore is dead.” He paused, trying not to cry. “Do you think it’s true?” 

“Go back to your common room, now.” Matt said. “Hurry and don’t stop for anything. Tell everyone in your house to stay put.” 

The boy nodded before heading off in the opposite direction. 

More screams came from within the castle and all of you exchanged worried glances. 

“Do you think it’s...Death Eaters?” you asked.

“More likely than not.” Ben said as he started to lead the group again. 

“But how did they get into the castle?” Rey asked. “It’s practically impossible.” 

Your mind flashed to Kylo and Draco, but you didn’t say anything. “Do you really think what he said was true? That Dumbledore is—you know.” you couldn’t get yourself to say it. 

“I don’t know.” Matt replied. 

“I hope not.” Luna said in a soft voice. 

“I need to go find Harry and Ronald.” Hermione said, stopping the group again. “I need to know they’re ok.” 

“Be safe, Hermione.” Ben said. 

“Please be careful.” you took Hermione in for a hug. 

“I will be. You guys stay safe too.” she said before starting to walk away. She disappeared into the darkness of the hall with her wand in hand. 

“What are we going to do now?” you asked as the boys started to walk again. 

“Fight.” Ben said simply. “It’s not like we haven’t fought Death Eaters before.” 

You thought back to your fifth year. He wasn’t wrong. 

“I think you three should go back to your common room.” Matt said, being protective. 

“No, Matt.” Rey snapped. 

Before Matt could argue with his cousin, another person flew around the corner. They stood tall in their dark cloak, and though you couldn’t see their face, you knew they had an evil smile behind their hood. 

“Stupify!” Rey said quickly, but they blocked it. “Stupify!” she said again, but it wasn’t good enough. 

“Cruci-“ the hooded figure started to say, but Luna cut them off. 

“Ignis plena!” Luna shouted, and the cloaked figure burst into flames. 

They ran off shrieking, unable to put the fire out. Everyone turned to face Luna, Matt looking the most shocked. 

“Merlin..” he said, admiring her. 

“Come on, let’s keep going.” she said. 

“I feel like we need to move towards the Great Hall. Right now we’re too far from where the majority of the school spends their time.” Rey said. 

“Good idea.” you replied. 

“Let’s go, then.” Ben said, waving his arm at all of you. 

As you crept through the halls, all of you tried your best to stay quiet. As you grew closer to the Great Hall, you could hear more screams and other noises. It sounded like glass being shattered and stones being blown away from the foundation of the school. You came around another corner and saw a Gryffindor second year running away from one of the hooded figures. 

“Get back here you little mudblood!” the figure shrieked. 

“Stupify!” you shouted, knocking the Death Eater into a wall. 

The Gryffindor looked at you with terrified eyes. “Get to your common room!” you said. She nodded and sprinted towards the moving staircases. 

A cackling laugh could be heard echoing down the hall, and something about it brought you back to that night at the Ministry. As you approached, you saw a curly haired witch throwing hex’s at Professor Flitwick as he tried to fend her off. Something orange flew from his wand and she went flying back, but regained her footing. 

Professor Mcgonagall came into view, trying her best to look calm even though her eyes told a different story. “The lot of you need to go, you can’t be here. Go to your common rooms while we try and sort this out.” 

“What’s going on, Professor?” Ben asked. 

“Is Dumbledore really dead?” Rey asked at the same time. 

“No time to chat, please listen to me.” she said, trying to hurry you all along. “But you, Matt. Make sure these three get to their Tower.” 

“But what about—“ Ben started. You knew he also wanted to make sure the three of you stayed safe. 

“No time to argue, Solo.” McGonagall replied before heading towards the screams that continued down the hall. 

“I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re ok.” Ben said, grabbing your hand. 

“Come on you guys, let’s go.” Rey said, leading the way towards Ravenclaw Tower. 

You made it down a bit of the ways going unnoticed. The darkness of the castle with the distant screams made it feel like you were in a haunted house--except this was real, and there wasn’t a gag Halloween prop waiting to jump out and scare you. 

Ben stopped the group with his hand. “Do you hear that?” he asked quietly. Everyone stopped to listen, hearing the sound of distant footsteps coming their way. 

“It might just be students.” you suggested, hoping you were right. 

“They don’t sound like they’re in a hurry.” Luna replied, making your stomach drop. 

The footsteps got louder, and all of you waited with your wands firmly in hand. Two cloaked figures came around the corner, but this time you were ready for them. 

“Expelliarmus!” you shouted. 

“Ignis plena!” Matt yelled. 

Your spell was successful, disarming one of the Death Eaters. Matt’s, however, was not. He missed, accidentally setting part of the hall on fire. 

“You idiot!” Rey shouted as the fire quickly grew. “Stupify!” She shouted, knocking the Death Eaters back down the hall and into the fire. Without waiting, Rey took off down the corridor, running from the flames. 

“Outside!” Ben shouted as the lot of you passed by a door. “Come on!” he yelled, pushing the door open and holding it for everyone. 

All of you came running through it, relieved to now be out on the castle grounds. It was dark and cloudy out, no stars in the sky and you couldn’t even hear any crickets. Everything was silent. It was almost like every creature around the castle knew what was happening. 

Everyone stopped to catch their breath, backs to Hogwarts as they did. Luna was the first to turn, her giant eyes absolutely petrified as she saw what was looming over the castle. “You guys, look.” she said, getting your attention. 

All of you turned to see what she was talking about, and you heard yourself gasp. The Dark Mark had been cast into the sky, sitting directly above Hogwarts. You heard Rey fall to the grass on her knees. You could feel tears start to form in your eyes. Matt bent over to comfort his cousin as she started to wail. Ben threw his arms over your shoulders and brought you into a hug. 

“He’s gone, isn’t he.” Luna said. 

No one answered, but everyone knew. Dumbledore was dead. 

-

You stood in the mid spring sun as it tried it’s best to peek through the trees surrounding you and the other students. Everyone was dressed in black robes, some with their heads down as they tried to conceal their tears. Ben was on one side of you, Rey on the other. You could hear sniffles coming from both of them. Matt had his arms around Luna as she stood in front of him, leaning back as tears fell down her cheeks. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were just to the left of you, all silent as well. Hermione’s eyes were puffy from crying, Ron looked utterly shocked as he looked off into the distance, and Harry was teary eyed as well. 

McGonagall said kind words about Dumbledore as everyone stayed silent and listened. Her voice was steady, but you knew she was trying to stay strong for everyone else. Dumbledore laid in a white marble coffin that was closed on top, floating above a six foot deep hole, waiting to be buried. You looked out across the water, watching as a group of birds emerged from the trees and flew overhead. You took a deep breath, knowing that this was just the beginning. 

Ben heard you and took your hand into his. You didn’t look up at him, but you were thankful that he was trying to comfort you. 

After a few more of your teachers said some final words about Dumbledore, they buried him. Everyone stayed until it was over, and some even had a hard time leaving once it was. You turned to Harry as he stared at the spot Dumbledore had been laid to rest. 

“I’m not coming back.” he said. 

Hermione leaned in, not hearing what he said. 

“Then we aren’t either.” Ron replied. 

“No, it’s just me, I don’t want to put anyone in danger anymore.” Harry said. 

“Don’t be daft, Harry. We’re coming with you.” Hermione replied. 

“Hogwarts won’t be the same next year.” Ben chimed in. “I’m not coming back either.”

“Neither am I.” Rey said. 

“If you’re not, I’m definitely not either.” Matt said, Luna nodded her head in agreement. 

“I don’t think it’ll be safe for muggleborns next year.” you replied. “I’m not coming back either.

“Then it’s settled.” Ben said. 

“If you need anything, just ask.” Luna said to Harry. 

“Yeah, you know we’re all here for you.” you looked at Harry and nodded. 

“I know, thanks, you guys.” Harry said with a small smile. 

You started to move slowly back towards the castle with the other students who had stayed back at the funeral. You looked up at Ben and Matt, wondering what the future may hold for all of you. Rey looped her arm with yours, and you sighed deeply. 

“We’ve got each other’s backs.” she said. 

“Most definitely.” Matt said, looking down at the two of you. 

“We’ll see you guys at Bill and Fleur’s wedding, yeah?” Hermione asked. 

“Just before the end of summer!” Ron shouted from across the way. 

“We’ll be there. Rey replied. 

“Looking sexy as ever all dressed up, too.” Ben said, trying to brighten the mood. Rey elbowed him. “Hey!” he shouted at her. 

“You’ll be there, right?” Luna asked, and you nodded. 

It was one of the few things you had to look forward to over the long summer ahead. 


	32. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a few notes for this chapter and some warnings so:
> 
> Just a reminder that the characters think something is up with Kylo, but there is no proof yet if he has any connections to the Dark Lord or not. 
> 
> Warnings: Character death, smut, and reader is wearing a dress (will elaborate below). 
> 
> As I'm sure you've realized, I write reader as non binary. I don't like to use any descriptive words for reader's appearance so that you guys can imagine yourselves how you'd like (which is why I also never pick out outfits for reader to wear). But, there is a sex scene and it works better with reader having a dress on. I did not describe the dress reader has on, so you are free to imagine whichever dress you'd like to see yourself in. 
> 
> Sorry for so many notes! I feel annoying. Anyways, enjoy the chapter :)

Kylo stood in front of the door to his father’s house. It was late at night and he could hear crickets chirping nearby. He didn’t understand why his dad had chosen to move to a muggle suburb after the divorce, but it made things easier for him. He unlocked the front door with a simple spell. Of course his father wouldn’t use any magic to protect himself, he was never known to be very bright. 

He lurked through the dark house quietly, knowing exactly where his father would be--drunk and passed out on an armchair, probably with the TV on. He hadn’t taken the divorce too well. Kylo made his way around a corner, and sure enough his father was passed out, just as he had thought. The muggle TV playing a round of old shows was the only source of light reflecting onto his father’s old, weather worn face. 

Kylo stood before his father, thinking this was much too easy. He turned to grab the poker from the fireplace, then put his wand deep in his pocket. He was told he wasn’t allowed to use magic, it would be ‘too easy’. He stood before his father, trying to feel pity about what was soon to happen. He didn’t find any. Instead, he felt anger. His father, Han Solo, had been a bad one. He was gone often, drank too much, and didn’t want anything to do with him. Sure, his father loved his two brothers, but maybe that’s because they were normal. Kylo was weird, an introvert. Never wanted to go outside and fly around on broomsticks, didn’t want to run about the yard and play with the other children. No, he just wanted to be left alone. 

Han stirred in his sleep, looking up to see his son standing before him. He looked at his hand, seeing the poker rod in his firm grip. “So, it’s true then.” Han said to Kylo. 

“Don’t bother speaking.” Kylo said, irritated that his father had woken. 

“I’m not going to beg for my life, son.” Kylo winced at the word. “I just don’t know where your mother and I went wrong.” Han sat up a little straighter. 

“Really, you couldn’t take a guess?” Kylo asked, feeling the anger within him grow stronger. 

“I don’t know what we could have done to drive you into the arms of a wizard like You-Know-Who.” Han said. “I know we weren’t perfect, but why?” 

“Stop talking.” Kylo snapped. 

“You’re better than this, Kylo. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.” his father said. 

“Yes, I do!” Kylo shouted, lifting the poker up. 

“Tell your mother I love her.” Han said. “And know that I love you.” 

Those were his last words as Kylo jammed the rod into his father’s heart. He held it there, watching the light die from his eyes. Once he was gone, he ripped the poker from his chest and threw it on the floor. He stood there for a few moments, looking at the shell of his father. He was a weak man, and he would no longer hold him back. 

-

“You look so beautiful!” Rey gushed as she looked you up and down. 

“Oh please, look at you!” you replied, eyeing her as she gave you a twirl in her dark blue dress. 

“It’s like you got even hotter over the summer, I didn’t know it was possible.” Rey said with a giggle. 

“You’re making me blush.” you said to your friend while looking over the crowd of people who had shown up for the Weasley wedding. 

Bill and Fleur had just finished with their wedding ceremony, and now the guests were talking amongst themselves under the giant tent that the Weasley family had set up. There were many tables covered in beautiful, lace cloths with vases of flowers and vegetation sitting on top. There were gold dishes and silverware lined up neatly in front of each chair sat at a table. There were twinkling lights that lined the tent, as well as colorful streamers. Fleur looked as beautiful as ever, smiling at her husband as they prepared to cut their wedding cake. 

“Our seats are at that table there.” Rey said, pointing to where Luna and her father were sitting. “We’re sat with two of Ron’s relatives too. Glad to not have to be around my cousins.” she said as she turned to eye the triplets at another table. 

You also turned to see the three boys looking as good as ever, all dressed up in different colored tuxedos. Kylo, of course, was wearing all black, Ben was in a deep navy blue, and Matt went traditional with a white shirt and black tuxedo jacket. It was weird to see all three of them so well dressed--and behaved. 

“Ron, Harry, and Hermione are over there.” she pointed to another table. “I’m sure we’ll get a chance to say hello at some point.” 

“Definitely.” you glanced around again, noticing that Kylo was staring at you. “I need to use the bathroom, do you know where it is?” 

“Yes, inside. Down the hall, take a right. You’ll find it.” Rey said. She gave you a smile before heading to her seat at the table. 

You made your way over towards the Weasley’s home. You opened the door and slipped inside, surprised at how well it masked all the noise coming from outside. You looked around the home, realizing that you were standing in the kitchen. It was beautiful, and so homey. Mrs. Weasley had decorated the house mostly with pictures of her children. You could tell she loved all of them very much. You walked through, going the way that Rey had instructed. As you did, you heard someone else enter the home. You listened as they walked down the hall, and turned to see Kylo looking at you. 

“Are you lost?” you asked. 

“No, I think I found what I was looking for.” he replied, looking you up and down. 

“Well, I’m looking for the bathroom.” you replied, ignoring him. You still hadn’t forgotten about last year. 

He followed you down the hall. “You look really beautiful.” he said from behind you. You didn’t answer. “I know you’re mad at me, but I had to let you know.” 

“I’m glad you finally got the courage to say something.” you said, rolling your eyes but he didn’t see. You still had your back to him. 

“It’s hard to talk to you.” he replied. 

You reached the door to the bathroom and turned around to face him. “It’s really not. Now, do you mind?” you asked. 

“Are you really going to use the bathroom? Or are you just wanting to check in on your appearance? Like I said, you look beautiful.” he said. 

You grew irritated. He was right, you were only using the bathroom to check up on how you looked. Kylo took a step closer to you, placing his hand under your chin. Was this really about to happen? 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked. 

“Uhh-” you weren’t really sure what to say. Something inside you had wanted this for so long, but you still weren’t entirely sure how you felt about him. But, the longing you had for him was what seemed to take over in the moment. You launched yourself at him, letting your lips meet. He immediately started to kiss you back, placing his hands on your back as he did. You felt one hand slip down, cupping your butt and giving it a squeeze. “Wait!” you said, slightly out of breath. 

Kylo grabbed the doorknob and pushed the two of you through the door. He locked it quickly before grabbing you and placing you on top of the counter. He started to kiss you again as you wrapped your legs around him. He took his top jacket off and threw it to the floor. You felt him start to unzip your dress next, letting it loosen so that he could slip it down to reveal your chest. He grabbed one of your breasts and started to massage it as the two of you continued to kiss heavily. You went to unbutton his shirt, but he pushed your hand away. “My clothes stay on.” he said in a stern voice. “But yours don’t.” 

You felt yourself grow wetter, now excited for what was to happen. Though you tried your best to get over Kylo, you were happy to satisfy the part of you that had been longing after him for so many years. You started to massage Kylo’s cock under his pants, impressed by the size. Though, you weren’t surprised since him and Ben were twins after all. You started to undo his pants, and Kylo broke the kiss. “Get on your knees.” he said, and you did what you were told without any complaints. 

You pulled Kylo’s cock from his pants and it sprung towards your face. You grabbed it with both hands and looked up at him before placing it in your mouth. He grabbed both sides of your head and started to use your mouth as he fucked your face. You let your throat relax, taking him as best as you could with minimal chokes. He kept his eyes on you the entire time, enjoying the way you looked while sucking on his cock. 

He pulled away from you after a few minutes, and you looked up at him feeling desperate. “Get up, put your hands on the counter.” he said. He started to roll up his sleeves, feeling hot from the activity. You had your back to him and felt him pull your dress up, exposing what was beneath. Without warning, he jammed his large cock inside you, and you exhaled in surprise. You let him get a good rhythm before you reached down to touch yourself. Kylo grabbed your hand and held it behind your back. “I get to touch you.” he said, and you nodded. He reached around and started to rub your clit, keeping a good pace as he continued to fuck you hard. You could feel yourself starting to clench harder, trying to reach an orgasm. Kylo picked up the pace and leaned forward to kiss you on the side of the neck. You closed your eyes, letting your orgasm build until you were cumming on his cock. You let out a moan, and he thrusted a few times before cumming inside you. 

He removed himself after a few moments, the two of you trying to catch your breath. He turned to grab some toilet paper to wipe himself off, and you started to fix your dress and hair. Kylo zipped up his pants, and turned towards you with his sleeves still rolled up. You looked down at his forearm, noticing a tattoo. Your stomach dropped, realizing what it was. 

“Kylo, is that--” you couldn’t even bring yourself to say it. He had the Dark Mark, the same that had hung above Hogwarts after Dumbledore’s death, tattooed on his body. 

“I’m sorry.” he said, rolling his sleeves back down. 

“Kylo…” you started to cry. 

“I knew this was probably my last chance to see you. I had to keep you safe. I’m sorry.” he said again, raising his wand at you. 

“Kylo, what the hell are you doing?” you asked, feeling frightened. You felt stupid having left your wand in your coat pocket. It was sitting with Rey at your assigned table. 

“ Petrificus Totalus!” Kylo said, and you felt your entire body go numb. Before you could fall to the floor, Kylo grabbed you. He let you down gently, standing over you as he looked down. “I have to keep you safe. I hope someday you can forgive me.” he said before leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind him. 

You wished you could scream at him, you wanted to tell him you’d never forgive him, But instead, you stayed on the floor, unable to do anything for yourself. You couldn’t even keep crying, all you could do was try to listen to whatever was going on outside. Everything was muffled because of the house, but you could have swore you heard screaming. You hoped someone would come for you, that Rey would remember that you were in the bathroom. Your mind was racing as you waited, still in utter awe about what had happened.

Of course it couldn’t be normal, or the way you had always imagined it. This was Kylo after all, nothing was ever normal when it came to him. How could he do this to you? You didn’t even care that he was trying to tell you that he wanted to keep you safe—you can’t just fuck someone and then hex them. And after seeing the Dark Mark on his forearm, you couldn’t even think of him without feeling sick. Everything you had been suspicious of the previous year has come to light, your worst assumption was quite real and in front of you. 

Footsteps could be heard down the hall and you perked up, hoping it was Rey. Someone burst through the bathroom door, and you looked up to see Rey standing there with a horrified look on her face. Her hair was messy and face red as she held her wand firm in her hand, yours in the other. 

“Are they in here?” you heard Ben ask, and he came into view. “Finite.” he said while pointing his wand, and you felt yourself gain control of your body again. 

“What’s going on?” you asked, letting Ben help you to your feet. 

“They’re here, the Death Eaters. We need to go, now.” Rey said. You peered down the hall and saw Matt standing in silence. 

Ben followed your eyes and then turned to you. “Kylo’s one of them.” he said with sadness in his voice. You could tell both Matt and his brother were burdened by their new knowledge. 

“Matt, over here.” Rey said quickly, getting his attention. She held out both her arms, and all three of you grabbed hold. 

In a flash you were surrounded by white while your skin felt like it was twisting and pulling. You opened your eyes and realized that Rey had brought you all to a small country town, probably somewhere in East Sussex. 

“Where the hell are we supposed to stay in a muggle town?” Matt asked, clearly annoyed. 

“Don’t snap at her.” you said to him sharply. “I have muggle money on me, we can stay at the inn here, I’m sure they have one.” 

“And I can send a letter to mum, I’ll let her know we’re safe. She can send us some more money.” Ben said to you. “But we’ll have to do it the muggle way, so it doesn’t get intercepted. Might take a few days.” 

“That’s fine.” Rey said as she started to walk up the road. It was dark and there wasn’t much visible. “Let’s get a room, I think we’re all exhausted and overwhelmed.” she glanced at Matt but he didn’t notice. 

The four of you walked down the cobbled road together in silence. The evening was still a little warm while crickets chirped in the distance. The tension between everyone was so thick that it was giving you anxiety. Without realizing, you walked closer to Ben. He looked down at you before putting his arm around your shoulder. 

You reached the inn which was old, but still well kept by an elderly husband and wife. The inside was painted with mute colors and had lots of potted plants, especially sitting on top of the front desk. There was a fireplace not in use, probably because of the summer weather. The older woman looked up at the four of you from behind gold rimmed glasses. 

“Two bedrooms, please.” you said. 

“Sorry dear, we’ve only got one left. With the end of summer carnival in town, we’re quite booked up.” She looked from Rey, to Matt, to Ben, and then you again. “It has two beds, though, could fit the four of you. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind.” 

“Um-“ you turned to look at your friends. It wasn’t like you had much of a choice. “Sure, that works then.” you grabbed some cash out of your wallet and placed it on the desk while the woman turned her back to you, looking for your room key. 

“The two of you make a nice looking couple.” she said once turning back. She slid the key towards you, while looking at Matt and Rey. You tried your best not to laugh, especially since both of them had looks of disgust across their face. 

“I tell them that  _ all  _ the time.” you said with a smirk. The old lady smiled and nodded. “Thank you.” you said after grabbing the key and leading your friends down a hall where your room was. 

You unlocked the door and Rey pushed past you, immediately jumping onto one of the beds. The room was similar to the lobby, mute colors with plants. The beds were made with white sheets and pillow cases and had a nice floral duvet on top. There was a table and two chairs in the corner, as well as a dresser with a Bible on top of it. 

“Can’t believe that old bat thought we were dating.” Matt said after closing the door. “Disgusting.” 

“Yeah, why couldn’t she have said you and Matt?” Rey said with her eyes closed. 

“I think you and Matt is way funnier.” you shrugged, sitting next to Rey on the bed. 

“Of course  _ you  _ do.” Rey replied. She sat up a little bit by resting on her elbows. “We don’t have any clothes.”

“Shit, you’re right.” Ben said, loosening his tie. 

“We’ll go into town tomorrow and get a change of clothes.” you said. “I have enough money.” 

“So you’re saying I have to sleep in this?” Matt asked, tugging at his pants. 

“You are definitely keeping your pants and shirt on. I don’t want to see that.” Rey replied, now crawling under the blankets with her dress on. 

“Not fair, dresses are way comfier.” Ben said while frowning. 

“Guess you should have worn a dress to the wedding.” Rey said, now with her eyes closed. 

Matt and Ben just stared at her. 

“Oh, and turn off the light.” Rey said before turning onto her side so that her back was to her cousins. 

Matt rolled his eyes before obeying her. “Nite.” he said before crawling into bed. 

“Sleep well.” you replied, snuggling under the covers. 

The room was soon filled with heavy breathing as everyone drifted off to sleep, exhausted from the day's events and not knowing what’s to come. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been making a playlist for this fic. I think I'll have it done by next update :)


	33. New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished the playlist for this fic :) It is a jumble of different types of music, but I think they all capture how reader feels throughout this series so far. I would suggest listening to the playlist on shuffle <3
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/22LNIK7XzUMlAiozgTqbWS?si=cDiJCG7gQJyx3nn2FEkvYw

You woke up the following morning in a bit of shock. You had forgotten where you were for a moment and everything that had happened last night. You wished that it wasn’t real, but something inside you knew that things were going to get worse. 

Rey was shifting about in the sheets, leading you to assume she was awake too. You flipped over to face her, her eyes open and looking right at you. “The idiots have disappeared.” she said, sounding annoyed. “Didn’t leave a note for us or anything either.” 

“How nice of them.” you replied. “Guess they’ll have to deal with whatever clothes we pick out for them.” 

Rey started to smile. “Perfect.” she got up and headed to the bathroom. You heard her washing her face in the sink before she came back out, patting her face with a small towel. 

You got up and did the same, the cold water helping you feel a little more awake. You looked at yourself in the mirror, still in your dress from the wedding. “We are going to look ridiculous walking through town dressed like this.” you said from the bathroom, knowing Rey could hear you. 

“I know.” her voice came. “Let’s get this over with.” 

The two of you headed out to the street, looking both ways before deciding to walk towards where the majority of the shops looked to be. You passed a small market, a flower shop, a cafe, and a bar before finding a thrift store just before the end of the street. 

“This will have to do.” Rey said, looking at the ugly grey sign above the store. 

She held the door for you and the two of you were greeted by a faint smell of must. The boy sitting at the counter didn’t bother to look up. He was young, probably the same age as you two. He had curly red hair that covered his face as he looked down to read a book. 

“I’ll go look for the boys.” Rey said before heading directly over to the men’s section. 

You looked through the aisles of clothes, pushing them back as you tried to find something you liked. You settled on a simple sweater and pair of jeans. You were happy to have found something decent, and looked forward to changing out of your dress. 

Rey appeared beside you with her arms full. “I found a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt for myself.” she showed you the clothes. “Look what I got for Ben and Matt.” she said with a giggle. She held up a pair of ugly leather pants with cow print on the sides, another pair of pants that were clearly high waisted and lime green, and then two old Christmas sweaters. 

You laughed and then shook your head. “They’ll murder you. There is no way.”

“Oh come on, they’re perfect.” Rey whined. 

“I thought we were trying to blend in, that is definitely not blending in.” you walked over to the men’s section, picking up a flannel for Ben and a black sweater for Matt. 

“I still think the Christmas sweaters would do…” Rey said as she watched you. 

You grabbed a pair of jeans for both the boys before turning to her. “Sorry.” you shrugged while holding all the clothes. She groaned and went to put the ones she had picked out away. 

The two of you walked up to the red haired boy who still had his head down. You set the clothes down on the counter, but he still hadn’t looked up. You and Rey exchanged looks before she cleared her throat. He looked up, realizing the two of you were staring at him. He was taken aback, probably not expecting to see two very attractive people standing in front of him while dressed as if they had just come from a fancy event. 

“Sorry…” he mumbled before he started to ring up your clothes. He kept glancing at the two of you as he did. 

Once your things were bagged, you paid and the two of you left. Rey turned to look back at the thrift store. “Weird bloke.” she said. 

“We’re probably the weird ones.” you replied. 

“You’re right. Looks like we were just ballroom dancing.” she grabbed at her dress. “Can’t wait to get changed.” 

“Gotta wash them first.” you said. 

“Right.” 

The two of you made your way back to the inn, smiling at the elderly woman as you passed the front desk. You wondered if Matt and Ben had found their way back, and felt a little disappointed to find your room empty. 

“Shit, no washer and dryer.” Rey said. 

“You’re right. Guess we’ll have to throw them in the bathtub.” you walked into the bathroom and started to dump the clothes into the tub. 

“Will that...work?” Rey asked as she watched from the door. 

You started to pour some of the complimentary soap on the clothes. “Of course it’ll work. Kinda similar to how people washed their clothes in the old days.” you turned on the water and watched as the bathtub started to fill. 

“Muggle old days.” Rey replied. 

“Yes.” you turned the water off once the clothes were covered. “We’ll let them soak, then I’ll wring them out and hang them to dry.” 

“You know we can just use magic to dry them, right?” Rey asked. 

You laughed. “I feel like I’m going insane.” 

“I think you are since you forgot about magic.” Rey replied with a grin. 

The door to your room opened and both you and Rey peeked your heads out of the bathroom door. Ben and Matt had finally returned, both with cheeky smiles. 

“Where have you been?” Rey asked before they could even get through the door. 

“You sound like my mum.” Matt replied, ignoring her question. 

“Yeah, we’re grown men. We can take care of ourselves.” Ben said, straightening up. Rey snorted at him. “And you two, of course.” he said, reaching inside his pockets.

Both Matt and Ben started to place things onto the table, smiling to themselves as they did. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, chips, candies, and other assortments of snacks. 

“How were you able to get so much stuff?” Rey asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Five finger discount.” Matt smirked. 

You slapped him on the arm. “Don’t steal! I have money, you idiot.” 

“Wow, we thought you’d be appreciative!” Ben complained, sitting on the bed. 

“Of course—but don’t do it again.” you said, giving them a small smile. “Thank you.” 

“Yeah, thanks, I guess.” Rey replied, grabbing one of the candies off the table and biting into it. 

“We sent a letter to mum too.” Ben said. “How long does muggle post take?” he asked, looking at you. 

“Maybe five days to get it, five to get a letter back.” you replied. 

“Ten days?!” Matt looked utterly shocked. You shrugged. “What are we going to do for ten days? We’ll run out of money.” 

“We won’t run out of money, Matt.” you looked at your friend and rolled your eyes. 

“Yeah, their dad is loaded.” Ben chimed in. 

“And you’ve never mentioned it?” Matt asked. 

“They’re not like that.” Rey responded for you. “Not everyone is like the Malfoy’s.” 

“Thanks.” you said with a small smile. Your dad wasn’t loaded, but you were well off and lucky not to have to worry about money. “Anyways, let’s get some real food for lunch.” 

The four of you ordered food from the cafe in town and ate it back at your room. The rest of the day went by pretty slow. Rey helped you dry the clothes once they were finished soaking, and the two boys were impressed that you had picked out things that fit them properly. It was nice to be in something more comfortable, shedding your dress seemed to help you disassociate further from the wedding. You tried to distract your mind, but it was hard not to think about it. You wondered why no one else had mentioned it—maybe they were scared too. 

Plus, you didn’t feel the need to bring up what happened between you and Kylo. You were positive it would break Ben’s heart too. You wished you could forget his face, what it felt like to touch him, and the words he said before leaving you on the floor of the bathroom. You felt your stomach wrench and tried to ignore your thoughts. 

Night came and you crawled into bed next to Rey just like the last. Matt and Ben had fallen asleep about thirty minutes ago, but you knew Rey was still up. You turned to face her, and she opened her eyes. 

“I can’t sleep.” you said quietly.

“Neither can I.” Rey whispered. The two of you stayed quiet for a few moments before she spoke again. “I’m scared.” 

“Me too.” you whispered. “I’m really glad we aren’t going back to Hogwarts.” 

“Same. It has to be a nightmare.” Rey said. “It feels like nowhere is safe anymore.” 

“I know.” you replied. Hogwarts had been your home for so many years. It was weird being scared of it. 

“Do you think your dad will be ok?” Rey asked. 

You hadn’t even thought about it. Was your dad in danger? He was a quiet man, interested in the muggle side of herbology and farming. If it wasn’t for him, you don’t think you would have felt so at home in the greenhouses at Hogwarts. “I think he’ll be ok.” you finally said. 

“We all will be.” Rey said, snuggling close to you. “Things will get better, I just know they will.” 

“I hope so.” you replied. 

The two of you went quiet, lying close with your eyes shut. You could feel her chest rising and falling with each breath. You wrapped your arm around her before closing your eyes, eventually falling asleep too. 


	34. The Carnival

A few days had gone by and the cabin fever was starting to set in. Matt was most irritated out of everyone. He’d start his day by checking the post, even though it was much too soon to be expecting a letter. You figured he was just trying to find some routine in his life as well as getting some fresh air. He’d then walk around town, coming home with items he had stolen out of boredom. Then, him and Rey would get into a fight that would leave both you and Ben sitting with your mouths shut, not wanting to get between the two of them. 

You agreed with Rey most of the time anyways. Unfortunately, this wasn’t a vacation and Matt was being a little careless. The four of you were wanted, everyone knew your association with Harry and the Golden Trio. If someone recognized Matt and followed him back to the inn...you didn’t want to think about what would happen if you got captured. 

Today was one of the last days of summer, and just as the elderly woman had said when you checked into the inn, there was a carnival that had filled the streets in celebration. You looked outside your window, seeing tents filled with different things to purchase, from food to hand made items, even festive clothing and local flowers. Children walked through the streets, one hand holding their parent’s while the other spotted a giant puff of pink or blue cotton candy. There were streamers set up everywhere, hanging down as they shimmered and moved in the slight summer wind. 

Matt joined you by the window, looking out at all the locals having fun. You already knew what he was going to say before he even said it, and you knew what Rey’s answer was going to be too. 

“We should go check out this carnival.” Matt said as he watched a few fireworks pop off. 

“No.” Rey said almost immediately. 

“What-come on, Rey. There are so many people out there, we’ll blend in just fine.” Matt whined. 

“Yeah, come on Rey. It would be fun.” Ben chimed in. You were surprised, but maybe he was getting tired of being cooped up too. 

“No.” she repeated. 

Both the boys looked at you, basically urging you to say something. You glanced between the two of them before sighing. “I think it would be fun too.” you finally said. Matt looked at you like that wasn’t enough and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“We aren’t here to have fun.” Rey said. “People are-“ she paused, trying to collect herself. “People are dying.” 

“Rey, we have to be able to find happiness in a time like this. Just because the war is going on and everything in our world is going to shit doesn’t have to mean we need to sit around and sulk all day. The way you get through times like this is to enjoy the little things.” Matt said to his cousin. 

Rey exhaled and looked out the window before saying anything. Matt was right, though. “Fine.” she said. “But we have to stick together, got it?” 

“Got it.” Ben and Matt said together, both trying their best to contain their excitement. 

“Let’s go then.” you said, and the four of you hurried out of the inn and into the streets. 

There were a lot more people than you had expected. You wondered if the carnival attracted people from other towns nearby. You walked with your friends, passing a few game booths that Ben and Matt desperately wanted to have a go at. You gave everyone some money and watched as the boys scrambled back to a booth you had passed. You and Rey watched from the side as they both picked up toy guns and started to shoot at balloons for one of the stuffed animal prizes. Both the boys had never used a gun before, and you and Rey tried not to laugh as they missed every shot. 

“Not funny.” Ben said as him and Matt had given up after their third try. 

The four of you continued down the crowded street, and for a bit things felt normal. Everyone around you was smiling and chatting, playing games and eating food, saying hello to neighbors and embracing. They had no idea what was going on in your world—it was nice to get to live in theirs for just a little bit. 

A kid walked by with cotton candy and Matt looked astounded as the child took a bite. “What is that?” he whispered to you. 

“Cotton candy. Basically just fluffy sugar.” you replied. 

“That sounds wicked, I have to try some.” he said, checking his pockets for money. Before anyone could say anything, he disappeared into the crowd. 

“Bloody hell.” Rey groaned. “I said we have to stick together. Come on.” she said to you and Ben before following in the direction Matt had gone. 

You started to walk, but Ben grabbed your hand. You looked up at him confused. “They’ll be fine.” he said. “Spend some time with me.” you nodded, agreeing. “We’ll see them back at the inn.” Ben said with a smile.

The two of you continued to hold hands as you walked through the busy street, looking at the different things vendors had for sale. Ben bought a giant turkey leg and ate it while you looked at him with disgust. 

“You ate that thing so fast I thought you’d end up eating the bone.” you said as he tossed his trash in a nearby garbage. 

“Shove off.” Ben replied, giving you a small push while smiling. 

The sun had started to set, leaving the sky a mix of deep orange and red. Fireworks had started to go off now that it was darker out, their bright colors complimenting the sky. You looked up at them, enjoying the sight as they exploded with a loud pop. 

Ben grabbed your hand and tugged at you. “What?” you asked, taking your eyes off the sky. He didn’t say anything but continued to pull. You rolled your eyes and let him lead you through the crowd of people and onto the sidewalk. He found a spot between two buildings, sort of like a small alleyway, and walked until you were no longer in view of the street. He looked down at you as you rested your back against one of the buildings. “What?” you repeated, but he didn’t say anything. 

Instead, he leaned down, about to kiss you until the two of you heard a loud crack. Ben jumped back, both of you turning your heads towards the source of the sound. A man wearing a long, leather trench coat apparated beside the two of you. Ben went to grab his wand but the old man raised his hand to him. 

“I’m a friend of Potter’s.” he said in a rough accent. You looked him up and down and realized it was Mad Eye Moody, the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in your fourth year. “Been waiting for an opportunity to pop up, there are so many muggles around.” he grumbled. 

Ben relaxed, finally recognizing the man. “How did you find us?” he asked. 

“We’ve got our ways. Don’t worry, though. I’ve been sent to check up on ya. Arthur wanted me to give you this as well.” Moody reached into one of his coat pockets and pulled out a small radio. He handed it to you and you thanked him, a little confused. “It’s a magic folks radio, turn to 88.9AM. They do the missing and presumed dead lists in the evening.” 

What he said was dark and dreadful, reminding both you and Ben that you were in fact in the middle of the war, not just having a pleasant time together. 

“I’ll be going, now.” Moody said, taking a step back. “Oh, and Solo. Your mum got the letter.” 

Ben perked up. “Is she alright?” 

Moody nodded. 

“What about Harry-“ you started but Moody silenced you. 

“Don’t say his name, they’ve got a tracker on it.” With that, Moody disappeared. 

-

A week had gone by, much slower than you wanted. In that time, you and Rey had gone back to the thrift store to buy a few more items of clothes, as well as new pairs of underwear from the market. Rey also got a small bag that she charmed to carry pretty much anything they needed, no matter how much or how large. 

Ben still kept trying to get you alone, probably frustrated that Moody had ruined his plan on the day of the carnival. You wouldn’t have minded kissing him, but you thought the longer you waited the better—you were still sorting things out for yourself. 

You wanted to pretend like you didn’t think about Kylo, but he was still there, even in the back of your mind. A few nights ago you had dreamed about him; the two of you walking together through a forest. It seemed good until he turned around, eyes red and anger spitting from his tongue. He had lit the trees around you on fire and left you to burn. You woke up from the nightmare sweating and scared, having to remind yourself it wasn’t real. 

You were sleeping peacefully this morning next to Rey when Matt burst through the door. “Mum sent a letter back!” he shouted, waking both of you up. 

Rey groaned and threw a pillow in his direction, unfortunately missing the tall blonde. “You couldn’t wait to tell us after we woke up?” 

“Of course not.” he replied, taking a seat on his bed before starting to open the envelope. 

You wondered where Ben was until you recognized the sound of the shower running. 

“Merlin, we’re set for a while.” Matt said, flashing the money at you and Rey. 

“Good, we can move to a different town once everyone is dressed and ready.” Rey replied, now sitting up in the bed. 

“Man, I was starting to like it here though.” Ben had emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed with wet hair. 

“Don’t be stupid, you know we can’t stay in one place for too long.” Rey said quickly. 

No one argued with her. Instead, everyone packed their things in silence as they prepared for the next destination. Once packed, the four of you made your way down to the small lobby. You handed the key over and thanked the innkeeper. She gave you a cheery smile before all of you exited into the street. 

“How are we going to apparate mid day?” Matt asked as he looked up at the sky. 

“We hide, obviously.” Ben said to his brother. Matt gave him a dirty look. 

“Come on, let’s get going.” Rey said as she led the way down the road, back towards where you had first appeared.

“Where to next?” you asked as you followed along. 

Rey didn’t answer. Maybe she was afraid to say it out loud. 

You reached the end of the road, looking out over the rolling hills that surrounded the small town. It was quite beautiful seeing everything so peaceful. You wished it reflected the world you came from—you were here, but this wasn’t your reality. 

Rey held out her arms, all three of you grabbing hold. No one was in sight, and with a loud crack you all disappeared. 


	35. Painswick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

Rey had chosen another small town, this one being Painswick. You recognized the old, stone buildings and the ample amount of greenery surrounding the area. You were just on the outskirts of town and could see the top of the church tower, grey and sharp. The four of you walked through the old streets, blending in with the locals as you looked for an inn. It was just the end of tourist season and thankfully the streets were a bit emptier than usual. 

The four of you decided on a small, stone inn. Rey had suggested that you all stuck to sharing one room, that way everyone was together. You could tell she was worried about getting separated and wanted to be able to keep an eye on everyone. You didn’t mind, sharing the previous room hadn’t been as bad as you thought it would be. 

Your room was a bit larger than the last. Two beds made with white sheets and a deep maroon duvet cover, walls off white and plain, a wooden desk with a phone, two tan armchairs, and a dresser with a TV on the top of it. Matt was already sitting on the bed, trying to figure out how to use a TV remote. He had figured out how to turn the television on, but accidentally turned the volume all the way up while trying to change the channel. 

“Bloody hell, turn it off!” Rey yelled at him, covering her ears. 

“I don’t know how!” Matt yelled back. 

“Give me that.” you said, yanking the remote from his hand. You shut the TV off quickly and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. “Don’t touch it again.” you said while setting it down. 

“After that, I have no desire to.” Matt replied, laying fully on the bed now. 

There was some silence while everyone settled in. Ben had decided to take up the bathroom, showering for what seemed like forever. Rey pounded her fist on the bathroom door a few times, but was unsuccessful in getting him out. 

“I’m starving.” Matt said as Rey sat down in a huff. 

You figured everyone was, and with food maybe Rey wouldn’t be in such a bad mood. “I can go grab us some stuff. I’m sure there is a mart around.” you offered. 

“Snacks sound great.” Matt said and Rey nodded. 

“I’ll come with.” Ben said, emerging from the bathroom. 

“Finally.” Rey rolled her eyes, immediately going in after him and shutting the door. 

“What’s her problem?” Ben asked as he walked over to you. 

Both you and Matt exchanged glances and rolled your eyes. 

“Let’s go, Ben.” you said, ignoring him. 

The two of you found a store just a short walk from your inn. It was very out of date, probably last updated in the 1970’s. You looked up at the ugly words painted on the walls. The word ‘produce’ was written above the vegetables, each letter in a separate brown bubble with bright orange text. 

“This is hilarious.” Ben said, flicking an orange and white sign that said ‘Aisle One’.

Even the music playing over the speakers was reminiscent of an older time. Ben hummed along to the 80’s pop music while placing bagged items into a red basket. You went down another aisle, looking at the bags of chips and cracker boxes. Ben found you and shuffled forward, grabbing two things of crisps as he did. 

“You know,” he started, leaning in and whispering close to your ear, “things are scary and weird right now, but I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” You looked up at him. He had a serious look in his eyes. You were sure if his hands weren’t full of snack items, he would have grabbed yours and held them. “I’ll protect you.” he said with a reassuring voice. 

You weren’t sure what had struck such a serious discussion, but you appreciated his promise. “Thank you, Ben.” you replied, smiling at him. You watched as he placed more things in his basket before following you around the mart. 

Ben glanced around, making sure no one would hear him. “I still have feelings for you.” You stopped and turned to look at him. “I don’t think I’ll ever not feel this way about you. I’ve tried to accept that we’ll just be friends, but it’s not enough.” 

You knew he still had feelings for you, he had made that clear in your sixth year. Maybe he wanted to revisit the conversation since so much time had passed. You still liked him too, but things weren’t right yet. You had told him you’d know when they were, but maybe he had forgotten your promise. He was very drunk, afterall. “I still have feelings for you too, Ben.” you finally said. You watched his eyes light up. “But things are too crazy right now.” 

The light you saw immediately died, replaced by sadness. The two of you checked out and walked back to your inn, bags in both hands and not saying a word to one another. You knew Ben felt defeated, but he had to know this wasn’t the time for relationships. The two of you were on the run with two other people. There was no time to kiss, be alone, or focus on anything other than what horrids were happening in your world. 

When you arrived back at your door, you both heard yelling from inside. Ben swung the door open to show Rey and Matt both standing beside each other with angry looks on their faces. Rey had one of her hands on her hips while glaring up at Matt. He was trying his best not to meet her gaze. 

“We have food!” Ben announced, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Fuck this.” Rey said before promptly leaving the room, slamming the door behind her. 

“What was that about?” Ben asked, looking at his brother. 

“She wants to go see Luna.” Matt replied. “Rey wants to make sure she’s ok.” 

You felt your stomach drop. Ever since the wedding, you hadn’t even considered if Luna and her father had made it out ok. You looked up at Matt. “Well, what did you say to piss her off?” 

“I told her it’s not safe. We can’t go poking about.” he shrugged. You agreed, but assumed there was more to the story. “I’m sure you realized Luna and I were getting close towards the end of last year. We sent letters back and forth all summer. Rey thinks I don’t care about her enough and am being a shitty boyfriend.” He clenched his jaw for a moment. “It’s not like I don’t want to see her.”

“I know, Matt.” you replied, trying to console him. “She’s been in a mood all day, try not to think too much about it.” 

“You know that’s not easy. I think about her all the time. Obviously I want to know if she’s ok. I just have to hope that she is.” 

A lightbulb seemed to go off in your mind. “We have a radio. Moody gave it to us-”

“Mad-Eye Moody? How did he find you?” Matt interrupted. 

“I have no idea how he found us. But this radio, he said that there’s a channel where they list off all that are missing and all that have passed. You can listen for Luna.” you said. 

Matt looked a little relieved. “What if she goes missing?” 

You didn’t know what to say. Instead, you said what you thought he’d want to hear. “Then we go look for her.” 

Matt gave you a small smile. “Thank you.” 

-

One week had gone by and the tension between Rey and Matt had not subsided. Instead, it lingered and made you and Ben quite uncomfortable. Thankfully, they didn’t argue. They just threw angry looks at one another and kept speaking to a minimum. You wished you could have escaped it, but you felt bad leaving them alone with each other. Every time you tried to go for a walk, Ben wanted to join. He was still keen on showing you affection, even though you had made it clear that nothing would be happening any time soon. 

Of course, you had tried to sneak away this evening to get a breath of fresh air and Ben couldn’t help but invite himself along. As you closed the door to your room, Rey threw you a look. You knew she thought something was up—but she’d have to wait to ask you anything about it. 

Once out into the street, you took a deep breath of the night air. Painswick was quite green, and you could smell the vegetation as a small breeze passed by. Ben reached down for your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. You allowed it, but didn’t look up at him. Instead, the two of you started to walk. 

Things were quiet between the two of you. You listened to the crickets and the croak of a bull frog somewhere nearby. You were trying to relax, but Ben’s demeanor was making you anxious. You could tell he wanted to talk to you about something, but he was too nervous to do it. 

“How have you been feeling?” Ben asked. 

You figured he was asking about your feelings towards him. You wanted to roll your eyes—he was too persistent. 

“I just wanted to ask because things seem to be tense between Matt and Rey.” He continued once realizing you weren’t going to say anything. 

“I’m a little anxious.” You replied, now understanding what he meant by his first question. 

“Me too.” He admitted. “It’s hard to listen to that radio every night.” 

You agreed. Ever since you told Matt about it, he listened obsessively. You’d catch yourself holding your breath while listening too. You were terrified of hearing a name you recognized. 

“I’m scared.” You finally said. Ben gave your hand a small squeeze. “Every night I hope we don’t hear about someone we know missing or dead.” 

“I think the same thing.” Ben agreed. 

“I don’t even know what our plan is. It’s hard living like this. Just trying to get through each day, time dragging by slowly while we stay up in a small hotel room.” You sighed deeply. “I just wish we could go back to Hogwarts.” 

“I want to go back too, but it’s dangerous.” He started. 

“Everything is dangerous now. Nothing is how it used to be. I hate this.” You started to tear up, feeling overwhelmed. 

Ben pulled you in for a hug. “We’ll figure this out. I promise things will get better.” 

The two of you stood on the empty street for a few minutes while he held you. Once you had composed yourself, you headed back to the inn, still holding hands. An hour or so had passed and when you returned, both Rey and Matt had fallen asleep. Rey was curled up in the bed while Matt looked oddly comfortable asleep in one of the armchairs. The radio was sitting on his lap, white noise softly coming from the speakers. 

Ben pulled back the blanket to the bed he and Matt had been sharing. He got in, and looked up at you as you stood between the two beds. You looked at Rey and then back at Ben before deciding to crawl into bed with him. You nestled your head into his chest as he held you close with his arms. 

You started to fall asleep, hoping you’d wake up before Matt and Rey to avoid getting teased. 


	36. Now

Unfortunately, you had not woken up before your two friends. But, you were thankful they at least waited until you did before they started hurling jokes at you. Your eyes had fluttered open, Ben’s arms still wrapped around you. Rey was facing you while on her bed, with a giant smile on her face. You had looked over at Matt in the armchair, giving you a similar smile to Rey’s. 

Thankfully they stopped teasing you once afternoon had hit. You were sure you hadn’t heard the last of it, but for now they were distracted. Matt had gone out for tea with Ben while you and Rey stayed back at the room. Rey had tried to ask you what was going on with Ben, but you denied everything. You told her you still weren’t ready to date, and luckily she was understanding. 

You did feel bad about falling asleep with Ben, though. That was the opposite of what you were trying to convey to him. You cursed yourself in your mind, knowing you were leading him on. The fact was, if you weren’t in the middle of a war, hiding, on the run, or still somewhere deep down inside still had feelings for Kylo, you’d be open to it. 

The thought of Kylo made you sick. You still hadn’t mentioned to anyone what happened the night of the wedding. Truth was, you didn’t want anyone to know. Especially not Ben, you knew that would crush him. 

The rest of the day went by pleasantly. Matt and Rey were getting along pretty well, and both you and Ben were quite thankful for it. Evening had come and you were sitting on your bed with Rey, Ben on his own, as Matt sat on the same armchair he had fallen asleep on the previous night. The radio was on, and the faceless man was going over the list of missing people. 

  
  


_ Daniel Jacobson  _

_ Arti Jansen  _

_ Elizabeth Katching  _

_ Henry and Mary Keeble  _

_ Luna and Xenophilius Lovegood  _

You felt your stomach drop. You looked at Rey and her mouth was open in shock. Matt just stared at the radio. 

“Did he just say-?” Ben asked, not wanting to say their friend’s name. 

Rey started to breathe unevenly next to you. You looked at her again, tears already falling onto her cheeks. Her chest was heaving and she stood up and started to pace around the room. 

Ben stood up to try and help his cousin calm down, but he was unsuccessful. She fell to the floor, crying as she did. You looked over at Matt, he was still staring at the radio with a stone look on his face. You got up quickly and got down on your knees next to Rey. You put your hand on her back while trying to help her calm down. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Ben trying to console his brother. 

Rey continued to cry, heaving sometimes as she did. You were able to pull her up onto your lap, rocking just slightly back and forth to try and calm her. You could hear Matt and Ben talking quietly, but couldn’t make out their words—Rey was crying too loudly to hear. 

You wished you could cry, but just like Matt, you were in shock. You had spent so much time hoping that you wouldn’t hear the name of someone you knew that you came to a point where you didn’t think it would ever happen. How foolish of you, you thought. 

“We’ll go look for her.” Was all you could say as you held Rey. You kept on saying it over and over, hoping that it would calm her down. 

Rey stopped crying for a moment, looking up at you with red eyes and a wet face. “We need to go, now. To her home. I want to go.” 

You looked over at Ben, unsure of what to say. 

“We need to go!” Rey shouted, now sounding angry instead of sad. She stood up from where she had been crying. “Right, Matt?” She looked at her cousin. 

“Rey, it’s night time-“ Ben started, but she cut him off. 

“No, Luna wouldn’t wait to look for us. We are going.” She held out her arms, ready to apparate. “ _ Now. _ ”

-

The air around you was cold and crisp. You looked up, seeing a blanket of stars coating the dark sky. You didn’t realize you were still holding onto Rey’s arm until she shook you off of her and started to walk forward. You squinted in the night, trying to see where she was headed. There was a tall, dark formation standing in the middle of a seemingly empty space. 

You assumed it was Luna’s home. 

“We should probably catch up with her.” Ben said. You had forgotten him and Matt were with you for some reason.

It seemed like Matt wanted to hang back, you couldn’t blame him. You were nervous too. “Come on.” You said to him, holding out your hand. He looked at you for a moment before taking your hand in his. Together, the three of you followed in Rey’s direction.

It wasn’t hard to find her, she had stopped a few yards before the house. You could hear her crying, and Ben looped his arm around her shoulders to comfort her. “She’s only missing, Rey. There’s still hope.” He said to her, trying to calm her down. 

It did the opposite. Rey pushed her cousin away from her. “ _ Only missing _ ?” She repeated in a nasty tone. “Do you hear yourself, Ben?”

“She’s not dead, Rey!” He yelled at her. 

“She’s  _ missing _ !” Rey snapped back. 

“Guys, please stop.” Matt said quietly, but neither of them paid any attention. 

“My best friend—“ she looked over at you. “ _ Our _ best friend is gone, we have no idea where she is. That’s just as bad as being dead.” She turned back to Ben. “We are living in a dangerous time, we are in the middle of a war.” 

“I was just trying to comfort you.” Ben said. 

“Well, it didn’t work.” Rey replied before continuing to walk towards the Lovegood’s now abandoned home. 

There was a burnt scent floating in the air that you could smell now that you were closer. You assumed it was coming from the home. You watched as Rey got only a few feet away before a loud, sharp sound started to echo throughout the area. You clasped your hands to your ears, trying to drown out the sound. 

“What the fuck is that?” You yelled over the noise. 

Before Matt or Ben could answer you, black masses started to appear out of thin air with a loud cracking sound. You recognized them immediately—Death Eaters. 

“Rey, you idiot!” Ben yelled as he ran towards her. 

You and Matt followed, wands in hand. Before anyone could reach you, Ben held out his arms and you, Rey, and Matt latched on before he apparated from the area. 

You fell against the ground as soon as the four of you had landed. You were overwhelmed by what had happened and needed a moment to catch your breath. You stayed where you were, now realizing you were on grass. You could hear Rey crying a few feet away from you and the sound of slow moving water to your left.

“Are you ok?” You looked up to see Matt standing over you. 

“I think so.” You replied, still trying to calm down. 

“That was bloody close.” Matt said, still standing over you. 

“What happened?” You asked. Everything was so quick, you still weren’t sure what that sound was. 

“Rey triggered an alarm. I’m sure they set one up knowing someone would come check on the Lovegood’s. I’m guessing they were hoping for someone else.” He replied. You knew he meant Harry. 

“I’m just glad we got out of there before they could reach us.” Ben said, walking over to the two of you. He held out his hand to help you up and you took it. 

“Are we sleeping here tonight?” You asked, still unsure where you were. It was too dark out to see anything. 

“We better. I’m sure they’re looking for us now. Safer to stay.” Matt said. 

“Come on, we have a tent in the bag.” Ben said to his brother. 

“A tent?” You asked. 

“Yeah, bought one in town a week ago. Just in case, you know?” Ben replied. 

You nodded. The boys went to work on the tent, only taking a few minutes thanks to magic. They had charmed it so that the inside was a bit nicer than a normal muggle tent. There was a set of bunk beds, another bed, a small table, and two chairs on either side of it. 

“I’ll set some protective spells on the area.” You said. Matt went along with you. The two of you mumbled spells under your breath-really anything you could think of to keep muggles and unwanted guests away. 

Rey was still sitting on the grass, not saying a word. It sounded like she had stopped crying, but you were nervous to approach her. You didn’t know why, she was your best friend. Ever since all of this started, it seemed like you saw a new side of her. She had always been the strong one, never emotional or one to cry. You knew she was hurting and you wished there was something you could do for her. 

Ben came up behind you and put his hands on your shoulders. “Go rest, I’ll talk to her.” He said. You nodded, not wanting to argue. You headed towards the tent, feeling exhausted and anxious. 

Matt was already asleep in one of the bunk beds, the sound of him lightly snoring was comforting. You crawled into bed, trying your best to stay awake until Ben and Rey were inside. You waited up, but ended up falling asleep before they had finished. 

The last thing you remembered thinking was hoping for a better day tomorrow, even though that was a lot to ask for in a time like this. 


	37. Snatchers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for some physical abuse in this chapter.

You woke up the next morning a bit chilly. You turned over in the bed, realizing that Rey wasn’t beside you. Sitting up, you looked over at the bunk bed to see if Matt and Ben were awake yet. Matt was passed out, glasses wonky on his face because he had forgotten to remove them. Ben’s back was to you, but you assumed he was still asleep too. You stayed in bed for a few more minutes, trying to keep warm under the thin blankets. The morning chill was too much, and you eventually forced yourself to get up. 

Rey’s bag was sitting on the floor on the other side of the bed. You picked it up and dug around for a sweater until finding one and throwing it on over your head. Feeling a bit warmer, you decided to quietly walk over to the exit of the tent. You popped your head out, looking around the area for the first time in the daylight. It was quite beautiful. The tent was sitting on a grass area surrounded by a dense forest of pale trees. There was a river running along the side, the water clear and crisp. Rey was sitting by herself, looking out over the river. She was wrapped in a blanket, eyes staring off into the distance. 

“We used to camp here together with our parents when we were younger.” Ben said from behind you. 

You jumped and spun around to look at him. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.” you said in a hushed voice, not wanting to wake Matt. 

Ben smirked at you before glancing at Rey. “You should go talk to her.” he said. “I wasn’t much help last night.” 

“You think she wants to be bothered?” you asked, chewing at your cheek. 

“I think she needs her best friend.” he said, giving you a nudge. 

He was probably right. You gave him a nod before walking over towards Rey, taking a few deep breaths of bravery. You didn’t know why you were so worried to talk to her, it wasn’t something you had ever experienced. Maybe it was because you weren’t used to her being so vulnerable. It was like seeing an entirely new person. 

As you approached, she didn’t look up to acknowledge you. You sighed before taking a seat on the grass next to her. You didn’t look at her, but instead looked out over the horizon with her. It was nice, you could see why their families would want to camp there. The sound of the river moving softly along mixed with the birds chirping about in the forest was relaxing. In fact, it seemed like this was the only thing in the world, nothing else. Just peace. But, you knew that wasn’t true. 

Without looking at Rey, you spoke to her. “How did you sleep?” you asked, trying to be casual. 

Rey shifted in her spot. She didn’t answer, just gave a small grunt. 

“Ben told me you guys used to camp here with your parents.” you said, trying to get her to talk. 

She nodded, but didn’t say anything. 

You sighed. “Rey, please talk to me.” 

You heard her sniffle. You didn’t want to look at her, maybe because you didn’t want her to feel embarrassed for crying. 

“What if Luna’s gone?” she said softly. 

“She’s not gone…” you replied, voice trailing off. “We’ll find her.” 

“No, what if she’s  _ gone _ ?” Rey said again. 

You knew what she meant, but you didn’t want to think about it. 

“After last night, everything feels so real.” Rey continued. “I knew things weren’t going to be easy, and I knew it would be dangerous. But-” she stopped herself and buried her face in her hands. 

You scooted closer to her and put your arm around her. You could hear her crying, and said nothing. You weren’t even sure what to say. You were thinking the same things. What if the Death Eaters had gotten the four of you? You didn’t want to think about it. 

Rey started to calm down, sniffling a few more times before looking up again. “I just want to find Luna.” she said with a shaky voice. 

“Me too.” you said, leaning into Rey and resting your head on her shoulder. The two of you stayed silent, looking out over the water together, both thinking about what was to come. 

-

A week or so had passed, and you were starting to get used to a camping lifestyle. It wasn’t too bad, especially with the help of magic. Ben and Matt had gotten particularly good at catching fish out of the river. Sometimes they’d use their wands, which usually was quicker. Still, they made a competition out of it, but you were just thankful to have food to eat. 

Rey had started to perk up; well, as much as anyone could in a time like this. She wasn't distant anymore, but it seemed like there was a grey cloud looming over the four of you. Things weren’t ok, no matter how hard you tried not to think about it all. 

You and Ben had started sharing a bed, which you enjoyed. He was big and warm, making you feel safe and comforted at the same time. Matt and Rey weren’t teasing you, but instead left you and Ben alone. Every time the two of you were alone together he tried to make a move on you. You still hadn’t kissed and weren’t really sure when you’d be ready. Ben was patient and you appreciated that. 

The four of you were sitting around the fire just as the sun was starting to set. Matt was cooking some of the fish he had caught earlier that day for dinner and Ben and Rey were talking about the things they missed most from when the world was normal. 

“Believe it or not, I miss homework.” Matt said, not looking up from the fire as he watched the fish cook. 

“You? Missing school? No way.” Rey snorted. 

“I’d do anything to be back at Hogwarts, even if that meant doing my homework.” Matt replied. 

“That’s like, the only thing I don’t miss.” you laughed. 

“What do you miss?” Ben asked, looking over at you. 

That was a hard question to answer. You missed a lot of things; your friends, your father, the smell of the greenhouses at Hogwarts, the food you’d eat in the Great Hall...you didn’t want to damper the mood. “The food at Hogwarts.” you finally settled on. “I’d give anything for a holiday feast.” 

“Oi, my cooking isn’t good enough for you?” Matt asked, looking at you over the fire with a smile on his face. 

“Not much you can do with a fish and no seasoning.” Ben said and his brother pushed him over. 

“Fine, no fish for you tonight.” Matt stuck his tongue out at Ben. 

“You know what I miss?” Rey asked, ignoring her cousins. “Quidditch games.” 

Everyone agreed in unison. 

“I miss alcohol.” Ben said with a laugh. “And getting drunk at Quidditch games...and the after parties.” 

Matt agreed and you immediately thought of the time Ben had gotten so drunk he made an ass out of himself by kissing Dean and getting punched in the face by Seamus. Maybe it was a good thing there was no alcohol around.

“Oi, if it wasn’t for Voldemort-“ Matt started to say, but you cut him off. 

“Matt, no!” You shouted. 

It was too late. A loud cracking sound came from behind you, and you whipped around to see a man staring back at you. He had long hair that was pulled back, some of the strands falling in his face. He looked older, maybe in his 40’s. His clothes were run down, and when he licked his lips at the four of you, you could see sharp yellow teeth. 

“What the hell?” Ben stood up immediately, drawing his wand. 

Another crack came, and then another. Four men appeared beside the one who had first shown up. They all looked similar to him—older, worn down, and yellow teeth. 

“I think you made a mistake, son.” The man said with a twisted smile. 

“Run!” Rey yelled, and the four of you took off. 

You could hear the men laughing. You looked back to see them splitting up to go after all of you separately. You looked forward, trying to keep an eye on Ben in the dark. You watched him slip into the thick forest and followed him. You didn’t shout after him, and even if you wanted to you weren’t sure it was possible. You had never ran so fast in your life, you were having a hard time breathing. You could feel your heart racing, scared that it may rip out of your chest. 

You turned around to see if the man was still following you, but he was nowhere to be seen. You couldn’t catch up to Ben, so you hid behind one of the trees to catch your breath. You leaned up against it, trying not to make too much noise as you breathed heavily. The sound of twigs snapping came a few yards from you, and you threw your hand over your mouth to try and keep yourself quiet. You hoped whoever you heard was Ben. Maybe he wanted to come back for you. 

But something inside you knew that it wasn’t Ben you heard. 

“You can’t hide.” a harsh voice came from the darkness. “I can smell  _ you _ .” 

_ Smell me? _ You weren’t sure how that was possible. 

“I’ll give you a chance to show yourself.” the man said. “Come on out, and I’ll be gentle with you.” 

You held your breath, trying to figure out how close he was to you. You thought maybe if you could sneak off quietly he wouldn’t notice. 

“One last chance.” the man growled. 

It sounded like he was only a few feet away. You quietly moved around the tree, then took a few steps backwards, praying that you wouldn’t be heard. 

“If that’s how you want it, then so be it.” the man said. “Like I said, your scent gives you away.”

_ Shit. _ You took off, but lost your footing only after getting a few feet away. You tripped over what you assumed was a tree root and yelped as you fell to the ground. You heard Ben shout your name, but before you could say anything back you felt a foot come down between your shoulder blades. 

“You should have listened to me the first time.” The man who had caught you pressed down harder on your back and you groaned in pain. “I’d stay on the ground if I were you. Makes things easier for the both of us.” 

You tried to shake him off you but he kicked you in the head. “What did I just say?” he shouted before he started to go through your pockets. You were in too much pain to fight back. He found your wand with ease and snatched it up. 

“Get off!” You heard Ben yell. “Stupefy!” He shouted, but his spell was blocked. 

“Stupid boy.” The man grumbled. “ _ Catena ligat. _ ” He said calmly. You heard Ben shout in pain, but you couldn’t see him. “Get him.” He said, and another man stepped out from the darkness.

You were grabbed by your jacket and pulled up off the ground. You were surprised by the man’s strength and tried your best not to lose your footing while he held onto your tightly. You could feel his nails digging into the back of your neck. You quickly scanned the area, seeing that Ben had been bound in chains. 

“Got the other two.” You heard a rough voice say. Two of the other men emerged from the shadows, one holding onto Rey and the other gripping Matt. You watched Rey struggle, but the man holding her grabbed her by her hair to straighten her out. 

“They look to be Malfoy’s son’s age.” The man standing next to Ben said. “You think they know where the Potter kid is?”

You felt your heart rate pick up even faster. 

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s take them to the Manor. Tell them to call the Dark Lord, I think he’ll be pleased.” The man holding you by the back of the neck said. “I can smell the fear on all of them, they’ve got to be hiding something.” 

Before anything else could be discussed, all of you disappeared with a loud crack. 


	38. Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I am almost done with this fic! I only have three more chapters to finish before it'll be complete and I can post them all :) 
> 
> Been trying to decide what to write next. Not sure if I should do a Star Wars, spy reader kinda deal or a mythical creatures AU where reader is a vampire? Let me know what you guys think <3

You hit the ground hard, almost buckling under your knees before someone grabbed you by the arm and forcefully steadied you. You looked down to see cobblestone while shifting your weight from one leg to another just to make sure you hadn’t broken an ankle. 

“Get off me!” You heard Rey spit, and you looked over to see her snatcher struggling to keep her still. You wished you had the energy to fight back, but something inside you knew it was pointless. 

“Get going.” The man behind you said, shoving you towards the direction of a very tall, dark mansion. You looked up in awe as you approached the home, it’s dark frame and lack of garden vegetation making you feel uncomfortable. 

“Through the door, now.” The man said. You could hear your friend’s feet shuffling behind you. You pushed through the giant black doors to the entrance hall of the home. 

Everything was clean, insanely clean. The walls were dark and lined with candles, and the glossy black floor made it feel as if you were being swallowed into space. The mansion was cold, the air crisp and unwelcoming. You wondered how anyone could call this place a home. 

“This way.” The man said, pushing you through the entrance hall and towards a hallway off to the side. There was a door to you right a few feet down, and you assumed this would be where you’d be meeting the Dark Lord. 

You gulped, growing more anxious by the second. 

This room was more menacing than the rest of the house, for some reason. Though it was similar in it’s dark appearance, something inside you felt the horrible things that had happened in there. You and your friends were thrown to the ground, staying on your knees as you waited for what was soon going to happen. 

You looked up, glancing at the three people who had been awaiting your arrival—two women and one man. One of the women had crazy, dark, curly hair and pale skinned that stretched across her defined facial features. She clapped her hands excitedly as she looked over the four of you. The other two seemed to be a couple; husband and wife. The man had long white hair and a tired face, you assumed he was the father to Draco Malfoy. His wife was beautiful with long dark hair with two thick blonde stripes in her bottom layer. 

“Do you know who they are?” The curly haired woman asked the snatchers gleefully. 

“No, they wouldn’t say their names. I was thinking your son could identify them for us.” The snatcher who had Rey said. “They look to be around his age.”

“Oh, go get the boys, Cissy!” The curly haired woman turned to the other female. 

She nodded half heartedly before leaving the room. You tried to steady your breathing as you waited, not daring to look anywhere but the floor. 

You heard footsteps approaching and heard the curly haired woman start to giggle. “Look at this one, looks familiar don’t he?” She asked the man who you thought was Draco Malfoy’s father. You took a chance and looked up to see her looming over Ben. “And this one…” her voice trailed off. “You’re a bit harder to recognize with this mop of blonde hair.” She grabbed Matt by his curly locks and pulled his face up. “No need to identify these two.” She cackled. “Take them to the dungeons, but leave the other two.” 

“No, don’t touch me.” Ben snapped as the snatchers pulled him up off the floor. He was struggling as he tried to kick one of them in the shin. Ben locked eyes with you, you could tell that he didn’t want to be apart from you--that he knew he couldn’t protect you from wherever he was being dragged to. You wished you could tell him you’d be ok, or at least force a small smile. But, it was impossible. You were terrified as you watched your two friends fight against the men pulling them away, their feet scuffling up the dark floor as they refused to walk. 

As soon as the twins were pulled from the room, everything was silent. You could hear Rey breathing softly beside you but didn’t dare turn to look at her. You hunched over your knees with your elbows on the cold floor, feeling the heat of the gaze from the adults in the room. The curly haired woman couldn’t stop giggling, she seemed enthused by everything going on. Her laugh was unsettling, bouncing off the walls of the empty room. It was odd, the room was so large and yet there was no furniture. 

Distant footsteps could be heard, and by the sound of it you assumed it was more than one person. They grew louder, but you didn’t raise your head to look. Instead, you listened. 

“Do you recognize these two?” you heard the curly haired woman ask in a sharp tone. 

Silence followed. 

“Did you hear me?” the woman spat. 

You looked up, catching a glimpse of what was going on in front of you. All you saw was a flash of short blonde hair.  _ Draco Malfoy. _ You knew there was someone standing beside him, but you didn’t look long enough. 

“They went to my school.” you heard Draco finally say. His voice was soft and hard to hear, quite different from what you were used to back in the halls of Hogwarts. Draco no longer sounded confident and in control. 

“I assumed.” the woman said as she walked towards you and Rey. “What house did they belong to?” she asked. It sounded as if she was standing right behind you. 

Silence followed again. Bellatrix stomped her foot in frustration, making you jump a little bit. 

“Well?” she asked in a sharp tone. 

“Ravenclaw, they were both in Ravenclaw.” you heard a familiar voice answer. Your stomach dropped, knowing exactly who it was. 

“Were they in your year?” she asked. 

“Yes.” Draco replied. 

Bellatrix walked in front of you. She took out her wand and placed it under your chin, then lifting your face so that you were looking up. “Seventh years that didn’t want to go back to Hogwarts? What a shame, you’re missing out on your education.” she tutted. “Is there a reason you’d decide not to go back to school?” 

You couldn’t meet her eyes. Instead, you were focused on those standing behind her. You saw Kylo standing there beside Draco, hanging his head. You felt sick. You wanted to scream at him, not forgetting what he had done. But, you also wanted to cry and beg. You wanted to know why he’d ever choose this side, why he would do this to his own friends and family. 

Neither you or Rey answered the woman. She stepped back, and you hung your head again. “They must have dirty blood!” she shouted. “Their names, give me their names!” 

Both Kylo and Draco stayed silent. 

“ _ What are they? _ ” she yelled at the two boys. 

“I don’t remember.” Draco said immediately. “I’ve only seen them around. They were Ravenclaws, I didn’t care much about anyone in that house.” 

“You then, what are their names?” the woman pointed at Kylo. 

“I don’t remember.” he lied. 

“You don’t remember? It seems like your two brothers spend a lot of time with them.” she rounded on Kylo. “I’d try harder, if I were you.” She stepped back and turned to one of the snatchers. “Get me the list!” 

One of the men felt around in his pocket before pulling out what looked like a folded up, small piece of paper. It was yellowing and only half the size of the woman’s palm. She held up her wand and tapped it. You watched as it transformed into a white, rolled up scroll. The woman opened it, and it stretched out until it fell to the floor and rolled around her feet. 

“Now, I’ll ask you again. What are their names?” She didn’t bother looking at Kylo. 

He stayed silent. 

“Don’t make me ask you a third time.” she said. 

Kylo shifted uncomfortably on his feet. He looked down before mumbling yours and Rey’s name. 

“You bastard!” Rey snapped at her cousin. “You low life-” 

The curly haired woman flicked her wand at Rey and she immediately went silent. “We don’t need to hear any back talk from a half blood.” she spit. The adults in the room laughed, but Draco and Kylo kept silent. 

“And you…” the woman pointed a long finger over at you. “A mudblood?” she giggled. “The second one of the day!” she tapped her wand on the scroll and it immediately shriveled up to its first form. “Lucky for you, that means you won’t be first.” she licked her lips at you and gave a wicked grin. “Take them to the dungeons!” she yelled. 

Two of the snatchers moved across the room towards you and Rey. The both picked you up off the floor by your shirts. Rey tried to yell, but whatever spell had been casted on her kept her silent. She fought back, but it was no use. The two of you were being dragged out of the room whether you liked it or not. 

The men continued to pull you down a hall, Rey still kicking and wrestling as they did. You didn’t see the point in it, already feeling defeated. You let the man drag you until you were standing at the top of a small staircase. At the bottom was what looked like an iron door with bars like a jail cell. The door flew open, and both you and Rey were thrown down the stairs. 

You both groaned in pain, landing on a cold, stone floor. As you looked up, the iron door was slammed in your face. You could hear Rey moaning behind you, and you hoped she hadn’t acquired a bad injury from the toss. You turned to look at your surroundings, but nothing was visible. 

You were surrounded in darkness. 


	39. Shell Cottage

Rey stood from where she had landed on the ground. You looked up at her, her jaw twitching as she ground her teeth together. She stepped over you and stood before the iron door. 

“My stupid fucking cousin!” She yelled, kicking the gate with each word. She stepped away for a moment, breathing heavily. Her face was red with anger. 

“Rey?” A voice came from the darkness. 

Both of you turned to look towards the sound. 

“Luna?” Rey asked, peering into the blackness. 

A flash of light appeared, and the room was suddenly dimly lit. The walls were grey and made of stone, just like the floors. There wasn’t much else besides a few chains that were hanging from the walls. But, what you were so happy to see were the faces of people you hadn’t in so long. 

Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Luna were staring back at you and Rey. Everyone looked tired, worn down, and dirty—but they still had small smiles on their faces. Matt and Ben were there too, as well as an old man and a goblin that you had never seen before. 

You immediately ran towards Luna with Rey, throwing your arms around her in a big hug. The three of you mumbled words to each other that no one else could make out as you cried, happy to know the other was still alive. 

After embracing Luna, you went for Harry. You hugged him tightly, so happy to see him. “I was so worried about you guys.” You said in his ear while you hugged him. You then let go, reached out for Hermione and hugged her. She was crying a little bit, just like you. 

You stepped back from your friends, wiping tears from your eyes. You were happy, finally knowing that some of those that meant the world to you were alive. It was relieving, making you forget the reason for your reunion. Everyone was smiling though you were all locked away in a dungeon while awaiting the presence of Lord Voldemort. 

Footsteps were coming from the top of the stairs and everyone broke apart and grew silent. Ron took out something that looked like a lighter, clicked it, and the light went out. A chubby blonde man with rat-like features came to the door. 

“Everyone stay back! No funny business.” He spat before opening the gate. He flicked his wand and shined light onto all of your faces. “You.” He said, pointing his wand at Hermione. He grabbed her by the arm and she struggled. Ron tried to pull her back but the man silently cast a spell that sent him falling onto his back. 

“No!” Hermione yelled as the man yanked her towards the exit. 

He dragged her past the door and slammed it shut. All of you could hear her yelling down the hall as she struggled to resist the man pulling her away. 

“Hermione!” Ron yelled, throwing himself onto the gate. He started to shake the bars as he continued to shout her name. 

“Shut it, they’ll come for you next.” The goblin hissed. 

Everyone ignored him. You watched Luna walk over to Ron and set a gentle hand on his back. You turned to your friends, everyone’s smile had gone. A sharp scream came from somewhere inside the mansion, and everyone jumped. 

It was Hermione. 

Another scream came and Ron wailed at the iron gate. Rey walked over to him and joined Luna in placing her hand on his shoulder. You stepped back and grabbed Ben’s hand, squeezing it every time Hermione shrieked. 

“What are they doing to her up there?” Matt asked. 

Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a mirror. He peered into it and said a few words that you couldn’t hear. 

A loud crack came, and a house elf appeared before you. You jumped back in surprise. 

“Dobby?” Harry asked. “How did you-?”

“Apparate, sir?” Dobby asked with a squeaky voice. “Harry Potter needs help, so Dobby is here to help him.” 

Footsteps came from the top of the steps again, and everyone felt silent. Dobby disappeared with a loud crack before the same man came down the stairs. 

“Get away from the gate!” He shouted at Ron, Luna, and Rey. They scuttled back, and he opened the door. “The goblin, I need the goblin!” He yelled. 

The small goblin stepped towards him and the rat-like man pushed him up the steps before slamming the door again. 

Dobby reappeared, and Harry looked relieved to see him. “Can you take us with you?” He asked and the house elf nodded. “Brilliant, take Luna and Ollivander first.” He looked at Ron. “Shell Cottage, take them there. It’s on the outskirts of Tinworth. Where Bill and Fleur live.” 

Dobby nodded, grabbing Luna and the old man by the hand. He disappeared with a loud crack. “You two are next.” Harry said, looking at you and Rey. You both nodded at him. 

Dobby reappeared a few moments later. You and Rey both grabbed one of his hands, and within seconds you were spinning through white space. You closed your eyes, and once you opened them again you saw you were surrounded by tall grass that was swaying with the ocean breeze. 

“I have to go.” The small house elf said. He let go of yours and Rey’s hand and disappeared again. 

“Where do we go?” You asked Rey. 

“Over there.” She pointed and your eyes followed her finger. You saw a tall red haired man helping Ollivander into his home with Luna behind them. 

Bill and Fleur’s house rested on a small bed of grass right next to the ocean. It was built with white stone and white window shutters. The door was blue, matching the ocean landscape. 

You grabbed Rey’s hand and the two of you walked down the hill of rolling grass and towards the cottage. Fleur held the door open for the two of you as you entered. She was a beautiful woman with long, healthy blonde hair. 

Fleur looked out a window as Bill helped Ollivander settle in. “Two more.” She whispered to herself before walking back towards the front door. 

A few minutes passed and then Matt and Ben came through the threshold. Matt scooped Luna into his arms and held onto her tightly. Rey hugged her cousin Ben and then he turned to you, pulling you towards him. 

“Does anyone need tea?” Fleur asked as she grabbed a steaming kettle. Everyone nodded in unison, staying silent. She poured tea into cups and distributed them without saying anything. 

Everyone clasped the hot cups in their hands, staring off as they waited. Ron, Hermione, Harry, and the goblin still had not made it back. As each minute passed, you grew more and more anxious. 

Bill pulled back a curtain and looked outside. After a few seconds, he stood. “They’re here.” He said. 

Luna, Rey, Matt, Ben, and yourself all stood immediately. You trailed out of the house as quickly as you could, Matt leading the way. The five of you scaled up the hill towards your friends. Harry was on his knees with his back to you as Ron and Hermione looked down at him. You were confused and unsure what was going on. 

Matt reached them first and took a step back in shock. He covered his hand with his mouth and let out a sigh. You reached your friends and looked over Harry’s shoulder, seeing that he was cradling the house elf while in tears. 

“He’s dead.” Harry groaned, rocking back and forth. 

You took a second look and realized that a dagger was through the chest of Dobby, his glassy eyes staring up into the sky. 

“He’s dead.” Harry said again, gritting his teeth. 

You stepped back and Ben wrapped his arm around you. Luna bent over to place her hand on Harry’s shoulder. She gently placed two fingers on the house elf’s eyelids and lowered them. 

“There, now he looks like he’s sleeping.” She said to Harry as he continued to cry. 

“I want to bury him. Not with magic, the muggle way.” Harry said, and everyone nodded in agreement. 

You were thankful to Dobby because without him, you could have lost your life. He risked his own for you, and yet you had never met. It hurt to see your friend as he cried over the house elf’s body. 

Harry laid Dobby to rest, and everyone stayed quiet as he shared a few words about the brave elf. Hermione spoke, as well as Ron. Luna created a small but beautiful grave stone for Dobby, and afterwards everyone started to head back to the cottage with sorrow in their eyes. 

You glanced around before following, taking in the ocean landscape. It was a beautiful place to be buried, and you liked to think Dobby would love it here too.


	40. Tea

After Dobby’s funeral and everyone had shuffled back inside Shell Cottage, you followed Hermione to one of the bathrooms inside the small home. She was sitting on the counter with her sleeve rolled up. When you first saw what had been done to her, you felt sick to your stomach. Hermione had the word ‘mudblood’ carved into her forearm with the same dagger that had killed Dobby. 

You patted her wound with a cotton ball and some alcohol. You sighed. “You’re really brave, Hermione.” You said. You could still hear her screams echoing through your mind. 

Hermione gave you a small smile. “We have to stick together in times like these, you know?”

You nodded. It was dangerous to be a muggle born right now. You didn’t want to ask her what else happened when she was screaming; you didn’t want her to have to think about it. Whatever it was, you wouldn’t want to think about it either. 

“I’m glad we all got out.” You said, throwing the cotton ball into the trash. “I wasn’t sure if…” you stopped yourself. 

Hermione put a hand on your shoulder. “We’ll always make it out.” 

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it.” You said. 

Before Hermione could reply, someone burst through the bathroom door. You both looked up to see Ron with a red face, feeling embarrassed for making such a loud entrance. 

“Sorry..” he mumbled, looking down at his feet. “Was just looking for Hermione, didn’t know where she was.” 

You glanced at Hermione who’s eyes had lit up at the sight of Ron. You took a step back and started to head towards the door. “I’ll see you guys in a bit, I’m gonna go lie down.” You gave them both a smile before moving past Ron as he continued to stand in the doorway and stare at Hermione. You wondered if they had admitted their feelings to one another yet. 

Bill and Fleur had tried their best to set everyone up in the rooms of their home, usually two to one. You had chosen to share with Ben, and no one questioned it. Everyone seemed to mind their business these days when it came to relationships or liking someone, and for that you were thankful. It was clear that Matt and Luna were still a thing, you watched him kiss her on the forehead a few times since they’ve been reunited. It made you feel a little bit happier knowing love could still grow in a time like this. 

You opened the door to your bedroom to find Ben already lounging on the bed. When he saw you, he rolled over and held his arm out so that you could crawl into bed next to him. He wrapped his arm around you and brought you close to his chest. 

“How’s Hermione?” He asked. 

“Better.” You replied. You stayed silent for a few minutes, thinking about what had happened to her. “Are you sure you want to be with someone like me?” You asked him, keeping your head down in his chest as you did. 

“What? Someone like you?” Ben asked, clearly confused. 

“You know...a muggle born.” You felt tears start to rise and blinked them away. “You’re a pure blood..no one likes muggle borns.” 

“Are you crazy? That has nothing to do with how I feel about you. Don’t let that talk get to your head. Just because your parents aren’t magic folk doesn’t mean you’re less than anyone else in the wizarding world. Some of the greatest witches and wizards were muggle born.” Ben shifted in the bed trying to look you in the eyes, but you wanted to stay hidden. 

“Then why do people want us killed?” You asked, still trying to hold back tears. 

“Because those people are fucked in the head, there isn’t something right about them.” Ben rested his hand on your back and started to rub it. “Love, don’t pay attention to any of that.” 

It was odd hearing him call you love, but you ignored it. “It’s easy for you to think I can ignore it because you’re not a muggle born.” 

“I will kill anyone who tries to hurt you.” Ben said simply. “No one will touch you.” His voice was stern and you were a little taken aback. “I promise.” 

You nestled your head into his chest more. You took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. Ben continued to rub your back as you relaxed further into him. It was mid day, but being in the presence of Ben was so relaxing that you couldn’t help but gently fall asleep. 

-

Over the next 24 hours you had learned a lot about what was going on in Harry, Ron, and Hermione’s world ever since the Weasley wedding attack. They had been on the run, just like the four of you. Harry had told you that the woman torturing Hermione was named Bellatrix Lestrange, and that she was Voldemort’s most loyal death eater. She had thought that someone had stolen the sword of Gryffindor out of her vault in Gringotts once seeing that Harry had it. Though they did not rob Bellatrix’s vault to get the sword, Harry said that there was something within it that he needed to defeat Voldemort in the end. 

You were standing in Bill and Fleur’s kitchen that afternoon, helping yourself to a cup of tea. You heard footsteps and turned to see Harry enter, looking a bit tired. “Hi, Harry.” you said once seeing him. “Tea?” 

“Please.’ he nodded and you turned to grab another cup from the cabinet. 

“Did I hear someone say tea?” Ben appeared in the kitchen. 

You didn’t turn around but instead grabbed a second cup for him. 

“Doing good, Ben?” Harry asked. 

You handed a cup of tea to Harry and then Ben. They both thanked you with a nod. 

“Alright, could be worse.” Ben replied after taking a sip of tea. 

You heard the sound of heels clacking and looked up. You saw Bellatrix Lestrange standing in the doorway to the kitchen. You yelped and jumped back against the counter. Ben and Harry both turned to look behind them, and Harry quickly looked back at you. 

“It’s ok, that’s Hermione!” he said. 

“What-?” you were still too startled to process what Harry was trying to tell you. 

“Polyjuice potion.” Ben said simply. 

“Oh.” you relaxed a bit, feeling slightly stupid. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Hermione said, walking awkwardly into the kitchen. She did not hold herself with the same confidence Bellatrix did. 

“And what are you up to dressed as...her?” you asked, looking her up and down. 

“We’re going to Gringotts.” Ron said as he entered the kitchen. 

“You three are the most wanted in the wizarding world, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Ben tilted his head. 

“That is precisely why we will not be going as ourselves.” Hermione replied. 

“Ah.” Ben nodded at her. 

“How are you going to get to her vault?” you asked, looking at Harry. 

“With help from Griphook.” Harry replied. “And my invisibility cloak.” 

“Right.” you replied. 

“Speaking of which, we should probably get going. Would look less suspicious if we went during the day.” Ron said. He started to move towards the door. “We’ll apparate outside.”

“I’ll be right there.” Hermione said. “I just need, um, the bathroom.” 

Harry and Ron nodded at her before heading outside. You glanced out the window and watched them walk up towards the hill Dobby had been buried on. They were both chatting as they looked out over the ocean. 

“I don’t actually need the bathroom.” Hermione said, and you turned to face her. “I think you guys should check out Hogsmeade.” 

“Why?” Ben asked, setting his elbows on the counter and putting his face in his hands. He looked like a little boy listening to a story. 

“I don’t know. I just feel like the next step would be going there.” Hermione clicked her tongue, looking deep in thought. 

“Anything in particular we should look out for?” you asked. 

“No, sorry. It’s just a gut feeling. I know at some point Harry plans on going back to Hogwarts for the war, and I think the only way to get in without being seen would be through Hogsmeade.” Hermione replied. 

“We’ll go, then.” Ben said firmly. “I’ll tell the others, we can all go together.” 

“I’d suggest doing it at night.” Hermione said while walking towards the door. 

“Stay safe, Hermione.” you said. It was still weird looking at Bellatrix’s face while addressing your friend. 

“You too.” she said with a small smile before exiting to meet Harry and Ron outside. 


	41. Bad News

It had been exactly a week since Ron, Harry, and Hermione attempted to infiltrate Gringotts and break into Bellatrix’s vault. From what you saw in the Daily Prophet, it looked like they had been successful. The best part was that they escaped on a dragon--Ben and Matt couldn’t stop talking about it for a few days. It was pretty damn impressive, but you hoped they were all ok. 

Bill and Fleur had been quite kind to keep their home open to all of you. They made sure you all had enough to eat, clean clothes, and plenty of tea. Bill would occasionally disappear to attend meetings with other people on the same side as all of you, and Fleur usually stayed behind. She was never in anyone’s business, though. She kept to herself and was friendly when around. 

You and Ben were still sharing a room. And yes, still nothing had happened physically between the two of you. Ben was patient and knew better than to try and pull any moves on you. The closest you’d get would be cuddling at night. Even then, you’d sleep in pajamas to keep anything from happening. 

Matt and Luna still seemed quite happy, there wasn’t a moment the two of them weren’t together. They’d go for walks along the shore, sit on the couch in the living room late at night whispering in one another’s ear and laughing, and spent a lot of time in their shared room. You wondered if they had done anything, but didn’t want to ask. You weren’t really sure how anyone could have sex in a time like this. 

It was early evening and you were sitting at the counter in the kitchen reading a book you had found on one of the book shelves in Bill’s office. He had made it clear that if anyone wanted to read they were more than welcome to his collection. Though what you had picked wasn’t incredibly interesting, it was still something to get your mind off of what was going on in the world. Ben was outside with Luna and Matt. Luna was collecting sea shells while Matt and Ben threw fists of sand at each other like children. 

The fireplace in the living room burst into green flames, but you didn’t look up from your book--you were used to it by now. Floo powder was the only way Bill traveled to his meetings. He walked into the kitchen and immediately put on a kettle. You heard footsteps from around the corner and looked up to see Fleur entering the room. She placed a kiss on Bill’s cheek before giving you a smile. 

Bill looked nervous. He wouldn’t make eye contact with you or his wife. You watched him fix his tea in silence, hands shaking a little bit as he did. He finally turned to face you directly, and you placed the book you were holding down on the counter. 

“I have bad news.” he said. 

You didn’t reply, but you felt your heart skip a beat. 

“It’s about Ben and Matt’s father.” Bill continued. 

You glanced out the window behind him and saw Luna, Ben, and Matt coming back towards the house. 

“I’ll go get Rey.” Fleur said in her beautiful French accent. 

Ben threw the door open loudly. Once seeing Bill, he gave him a wide smile. “Oi, Bill’s back!” he said. “Get me a cup of that tea, will you?” he asked before taking a seat next to you. 

Matt clapped Bill on the back. “Hope it wasn’t too harsh of a meeting today, yeah?” 

Bill stayed silent. 

Rey and Fleur walked into the kitchen, Rey with a confused look on her face. 

Bill poured a cup of tea and handed it to Ben. Ben looked up at him and arched an eyebrow. “Everything ok, Bill?” he took a sip from his tea. 

“I think you should sit down.” Bill said, then looked at Matt. “You too.” 

Rey and Matt exchanged a look before sitting down at the kitchen table. “What’s going on?” Rey asked, her voice a little shaky. 

“Your mum was at the meeting today. Hadn’t seen her in weeks.” Bill started. 

“Is she ok?!” Matt shouted, straightening up in his chair. 

“Yes, she’s fine.” Bill responded. 

“Then what’s the problem?” Ben asked. You could tell he was anxious, he couldn’t stop tapping his foot on the floor. 

“It’s your dad.” Bill paused. 

“Go on with it!” Matt snapped. 

“He was found dead in his home.” Bill finished. 

Rey gasped. Ben immediately slammed his fist down on the counter. 

“Who did it?” Matt asked, his voice a bit higher than before. 

“We don’t know yet.” Bill replied. 

“Well you better bloody find out!” Matt said, standing from his seated position. 

Luna ran over to him and placed a hand on his back, trying to get him to calm down. “Don’t shout at Bill.” she said. 

Matt walked out of the kitchen with a huff and Luna quickly followed. You assumed he was headed back to his room. 

“I need to go for a walk.” Rey said, pushing back her chair. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” you asked. 

“No.” Rey said quickly. 

You nodded, not taking any offense. 

“I’ll be back.” Rey said, slipping outside. 

You turned to Ben. He still hadn’t said anything. His face was frozen, eyes looking down at his tea. Bill reached over to place a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Ben.” he said. Ben didn’t respond. Bill looked over at you and you gave him a small nod, letting him know you’d take care of Ben. He nodded back and left the kitchen with Fleur. 

Once alone, you reached over and grabbed Ben’s hand. He still hadn’t moved. “Ben…” you started, but weren’t entirely sure what to say. 

“Can I have a few minutes to myself?” Ben asked in a soft voice. 

“Of course.” you replied, letting go of his hand. 

“Thank you.” he said. 

You looked at him for a moment before standing up. You couldn’t imagine what was going on inside his head right now. You knew him and his father had been close, same with Matt. The news of his death made you feel ill. You understood that he needed time to process all of it and were willing to give him as much as he needed. You knew you’d need the same if you had just heard your father was murdered. 

You made your way back to your bedroom and laid out on the bed. You stared up at the ceiling, wishing you hadn’t forgotten that book in the kitchen. Your mind was racing, every horrible possibility seemed to run through it. Who had killed Han Solo, and why would anyone even want him dead? 

-

A few more days had passed since everyone found out about the death of Matt and Ben’s father. Neither Rey nor Ben had wanted to talk about it with you, and you understood. You weren’t going to force them to and assumed they’d bring it up when they were ready. Ben was quieter than normal, and much less lively. He wasn’t cracking jokes or flirting with you as much as he usually did. When you woke up in the mornings, he was already gone and out of bed. He had started running again, and you figured it was helping him cope. 

You hadn’t seen Matt since that afternoon in the kitchen. From what you gathered, he was having a hard time getting out of bed. Luna would bring him food that Fleur had fixed for dinner, and would always return with the meal almost fully intact. Sometimes Matt would take a few bites, but usually he didn’t touch it. 

Since most of the house was grieving, you had a lot of time to think. No one had brought up Hogsmeade, and you wondered if Hermione had expected you all to go there by now. You thought about the Golden Trio a few times a day, hoping that they were doing alright. You wished there was a way to contact them, but knew it was safer for all of you if you didn’t. 

Night had fallen and you were sitting by yourself in the living room next to the warm fire. You had a book in your hand, but were too distracted by your thoughts to bother trying to read it. You stared out the window, even though you couldn’t see anything. The crackling of the logs burning in the fire was peaceful, and you sighed deeply. 

Luna popped into the kitchen and you looked up from where you were sitting on the couch. You watched as she poured herself some tea from the warm kettle Fleur had left before going to bed. 

“Doing ok, Lunes?” you asked your friend. 

She nodded. 

“How about Matt?” you asked. 

“Not so much.” she replied before walking over to you. “He’s asleep now, though. Doesn’t get much anymore.” 

You knew Ben didn’t either. He spent most of the night tossing and turning. 

You shifted on the couch so that you were facing her. “Everything isn’t right.” you said. 

“No, it’s not. But it will be.” Luna replied in her dreamy voice. 

“What do you mean?” you never understood how Luna could be so positive, even in the darkest of situations. 

“There is always hope, everything will be restored. It’s natural to lose along the way, but that’s what we risk when fighting for what’s right.” She leaned back into the couch. 

“There’s just so much to lose.” you replied.

“Don’t think so much about what you could lose. Instead, think about what you’re gaining.” she gave you a small smile before standing from the couch. “I think I’m going to have a bath, now.” 

You gave her a nod. “I’ll see you.” you replied. 

“Take care of yourself.” Luna said. “We need you.” 

“You too, Lunes.” you replied. She gave you a nod before disappearing around the corner. 

A few more minutes went by before you decided to go to bed. You had thought about what Luna said to you, and it was comforting. It was hard to think about anything good going on in the world, but somehow Luna still saw the light. You wished you could be more positive like her.  _ With time.  _ You knew a mindset like that didn’t change over night. Matt was lucky to have someone like her take care of him. Luna’s voice was enough to help someone feel better. 

Ben seemed to already be asleep by the time you crawled into bed. He had his back to you, something he had started since hearing about the passing of his father. You scooted close to him and gave him a kiss on the shoulder. You heard him sigh as he stretched out his legs. 

“So, you’re not asleep.” you said, staring at him through the darkness. Ben rolled over to face you. You kissed him on the nose gently, hoping it would boost his mood just a little bit. 

“I can’t stop thinking about him.” Ben said. 

“That’s normal, he was a huge part of your life.” you replied. 

“Not my dad.” Ben said, pausing for a moment. “Kylo.” 

Your stomach dropped at the sound of his name. “Why him?” you asked, not able to say his name for yourself. 

“I know he had something to do with the death of my father.” Ben said. 

“You think he’d actually...his own father?” you chewed at your cheek. 

“He never liked our dad. I don’t know why, but he was so bitter towards him.” Ben replied. “It got worse over the years.” 

You stayed silent, not really sure what to say. You were sad to admit that you sort of agreed with Ben. The only thing you didn’t understand was why Kylo would do something like that. It seemed easier just to cut off contact with Han, not go out of your way to murder him. 

“We’ve got to get moving.” Ben spoke again. “We’ve been here for too long. We’ll never be able to stop him if we stay here forever.” 

“Where are we going to go?” you asked. 

“Hogsmeade, just like Hermione said.” Ben replied. 

“What about Matt, though? He can’t even get out of bed.” 

“I’ll talk to him.” Ben replied. “He’ll understand the importance of all this, he’s a rational guy.” 

“Ok, Ben.” you said simply. You didn’t want to argue with him, he seemed keen on going soon.

Ben moved closer and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to his chest. It was the first time in a while that the two of you cuddled. You nestled your head into his chest and took a deep breath. Ben kissed you on the top of the head and you smiled. 

“I love you.” he said softly. 

For some reason, you weren’t taken by surprise. It felt natural. 

“I love you, too.” 


	42. The Painting

A few more days had passed before the five of you started to prepare to leave for Hogsmeade. Ben had talked to Matt, and even though he wasn’t ready to leave  _ that  _ day, you were still proud of him for getting himself to go; it was hard grieving for someone you loved. You wondered what Ben had said to perk Matt up, or at least get him to want to leave his bed. 

You also wondered what this meant for Kylo. Were Ben and Matt going to kill him? It didn’t seem likely—they didn’t strike you as killers. Even if it was revenge for someone they love. You knew they loved Kylo too, which made this all a lot harder on them. 

It was hard on you too. You wondered when Kylo had done it. Was it before the wedding? You shuddered. It probably was. And yet, he was acting so casual in the presence of his friends and brothers. It was sickening. You tried really hard not to think about that night. 

You, Rey, Matt, Ben, and Luna waited until nightfall to leave Shell Cottage. Fleur and Bill had told you all that you were more than welcome to stay as long as you wanted, but Ben was keen on leaving. You all thanked them for their hospitality. You knew you’d be missing Fleur’s cooking, and it had been nice to sleep in a warm bed instead of in a tent or uncomfortable hotels. 

“How are we going to get there?” Rey asked. “Night bus?” 

“Apparate, of course.” Luna replied. 

“Is that dangerous? To, you know, just pop up in Hogsmeade? Don’t you think people are looking for us?” Rey asked. 

“Hermione said to go at night, I’m sure she wouldn’t lead us astray.” Ben said to his cousin. “Harry is more of an importance than the five of us anyways.” 

“Alright then, let’s go.” Matt said. You looked up at him. It was the first time you had heard him say anything in days. 

“Where exactly are we apparating inside of Hogsmeade?” Rey asked. 

“I don’t know, Rey. Just think of Hogsmeade and I’m sure we’ll end up there.” Ben said, clearly growing frustrated. 

Rey gave him a dirty look before holding out her arms. “Alright assholes, let’s go.” She said. Everyone grabbed hold and all five of you disappeared with a loud crack. 

-

The town was silent when you arrived. No one was out in the streets, making it feel ghostly. Ben raised a finger up to his lips to let everyone know they needed to stay quiet. 

_ Obviously _ . You thought to yourself. 

Rey nudged you in the arm to get your attention. She pointed and you followed her finger, realizing an old man was peering through the window of a bar. 

You smacked Ben, pointing towards the old man once he was paying attention. “Should we be worried?” You asked. 

The old man noticed you all looking at him and disappeared out of sight. 

_ Fuck.  _

Before any of you could think of what to do, the door to that same bar opened just enough for the man to peek his head out. Everyone stood in silence, staring at one another. 

Finally, the old man spoke. “Are you one of them?” He asked in a whisper. 

“Yes.” Ben replied with confidence. 

You rolled your eyes.  _ One of them?  _ How does Ben even know what he’s talking about? 

“Come.” The old man said, waving the five of you over. 

You all exchanged a few glances before going. The old man pushed the door open a bit more so that you could all come through. Once inside, he closed the door and locked it. You tried your best not to freak out, hoping you hadn’t made the wrong decision. 

There were two candles lit in the entire pub, which was barely enough light to get an idea of your surroundings. From what you could see, there were wooden tables and chairs, a bar, and a shelf of liquor. The old man stood behind the bar, one of the candles illuminating his face. He looked familiar, oddly like Dumbeldore but a bit more youthful. 

“Does anyone want anything to drink while you wait?” The old man asked. 

_ While we wait? _ You weren’t entirely sure what he meant. You started to grow anxious, wondering what the hell Ben had gotten you all into. 

“I think we’re fine, thank you.” Luna said sweetly. 

The old man nodded before turning. He looked up at a large painting of a young girl you hadn’t noticed until just now. She started to move and looked down at him. 

“Tell them they have a few guests waiting here.” He said to her. She nodded and started to walk further into her painting before you could no longer see her. 

You all waited in silence, unsure of what was going to happen next. You kept your eyes on the painting, waiting to see the young girl reappear. Only a few minutes passed by until you saw her again, far in her portrait as she headed back towards the frame. It looked like she had two people with her, and as they got closer you realized who they were. 

_ Ginny and Neville.  _

“Hey guys!” Neville said with a big smile as he jumped down from the painting. He turned to help Ginny down too. They both looked incredibly happy to see the five of you, even though they also looked exhausted and malnourished. 

Luna immediately ran to Ginny for a hug, giggling as they embraced. You went up to Neville and pulled him in for a hug, so happy to see your friend alive. The two of you embraced tightly, tears rolling down your cheeks as you did. You had missed your friend so much and seeing him made you realize this even more. You had taken for granted all the days the two of you spent alone together in the greenhouses as you complained to him about your life and he gave you good advice. You truly did not believe you deserved to have him in your life; he was that great of a friend.

“I missed you so much.” you said, finally letting go of him. 

“I’ve missed you too.” he said with a smile.

“Everyone is going to be so excited to see you guys.” Ginny said once everyone had finished exchanging hugs and hellos. 

“Everyone?” Ben asked. 

“Yes! We’ve all been waiting up in the Room of Requirement. The Death Eaters are nasty, I tell you. If it wasn’t for Aberforth we would’ve all starved to death.” Neville said, looking at the old man. 

“Well, let’s get on, then.” Matt said. 

“Thank you for bringing them to us.” Ginny said to Alberforth. 

He nodded with a small smile. He then looked up at the painting. “Arianna, you’ve got a few more people to take through.” 

The young girl smiled down at him before stepping back. Neville climbed up first, helping Matt and Ben up next. They then reached their arms out, helping the rest of you up. Walking through the painting wasn’t as you imagined. It didn’t seem like you were inside the portrait, but instead a dark hallway. You could see a small bit of light at the end and assumed that was where everyone was waiting. 

“Careful, there’s a ladder for climbing down. It’s kinda a big fall if you don’t catch yourself.” Neville said before you reached the end. 

Matt and Ben poked their heads out first. You heard people start to cheer once they saw them. Rey pushed past to see what was going on and you watched her face light up. Slowly, the three of them climbed down. You and Luna were next. You looked down, seeing so many of your friends looking up at you with giant smiles on their faces. You felt overwhelmed with emotion, trying not to cry as you started to climb down the ladder. 

Ben helped you down and you turned to face the small crowd of students. Dean and Seamus came running at you with full force, almost knocking you over once embracing you. You laughed and cried, so happy to see the two of them. They then let go and went for Luna, making you laugh as they did. 

You saw Cho next, and ran up to her with a smile. She pulled you in for a hug as you continued to cry. You didn’t think you’d stop crying any time soon, being in the presence of so many people you cared about made you so incredibly happy that you had almost forgotten the war going on. 

As everyone started to settle down, you wiped the few remaining tears from your face and sat down next to Ben who was sitting with Seamus, Dean, Neville, and Finn. Rey was also sitting with them, right next to Finn as the two of them held hands. 

“Have you heard from Harry?” Seamus asked. “We’ve been waiting for him, Hermione, and Ron to show up.” 

“The last time we saw them was a bit ago.” Rey said. 

“I hope they’re alright…” Neville said. 

“They are, don’t worry. They’re always getting themselves out of stuff.” Ben said and everyone nodded in agreement. 

“So, what do we do in the meantime?” Matt asked, coming up behind Ben. He had been catching up with a few friends. 

“We wait.” 


	43. The Return

The next few days passed slowly, but being with all your friends made it seem better than anything you had experienced all year. Everyone slept in the same room together, which was kind of nice. There were blankets, sleeping bags, and pillows; enough for everyone to be able to sleep comfortably. Alberforth would bring food twice a day from his bar, and even though it wasn’t always good, everyone was still incredibly thankful. It was better than no food at all. 

Everyone had something to pass the time. People played chess, cards, read books, or practiced dueling with one another. Ben had tried to jump in and found himself getting knocked back easily by Ginny Weasley. It was hilarious to watch, but also quite impressive. 

Seamus had filled you in about everything that had gone on over the year that you had been absent from school. The Death Eaters were nasty, handing out physical punishment instead of the usual detention. Not only that, but looking for any excuse to punish the students. Snape was headmaster now, and he had replaced most of the faculty with Voldemort’s followers. 

You were glad you had decided to not come back, you couldn’t imagine how bad the school would have been for you. Seamus was a half blood. He told you about how often he’d get bullied by the Slytherins now that they were feeling so high and mighty with the Death Eaters around. If he was experiencing hell with his blood status, you knew it would have been much worse for you since you were a muggle born. 

Ben was playing a game of chess against Dean, who you knew was going to end up winning anyways. Regardless, you decided to sit by Ben’s side as he looked over the chess board, deep in thought. 

“You’ve got to make a move at some point.” You said. 

“Shhh!” Ben quickly replied, not looking at you as he did. “I’ve got this.” 

“Take all the time you need!” Dean said with a slight smirk. 

“Don’t get sassy with me.” Ben said before making his move. 

“Finally.” You groaned. Ben gave you a dirty look, followed by a smile. 

You heard a few people chattering with excitement and you turned towards the sound. You watched as a small group stood below the ladder, gazing up at Ginny and Neville as they climbed it. You smacked Ben’s arm to get his attention. 

“Who do you think—?” Ben asked as he turned to you. 

You just stared at him with hopeful eyes. He knew what you were thinking. 

“I hope so too.” He replied. 

You watched anxiously as they disappeared into the portrait. Even the boys were no longer interested in their game of chess. It seemed like everyone in the room was holding their breath, waiting to see who would come back with Ginny and Neville. 

Minutes felt like hours until you heard someone try to get everyone’s attention. “Hey!” A younger boy from Hufflepuff shouted. “Look!” 

You got up quickly, as did everyone else as they rushed to the portrait. They stood, waiting with their chins up in the air as they watched for whoever it could be. 

“It’s him!” You heard Cho Chang say with excitement. 

You held your breath, watching as five people started to emerge from the portrait. Harry poked out his head, and everyone went wild. Cheering, clapping, hugging one another, jumping up and down—it was a rightful cause for celebration. You felt tears in your eyes as you watched him climb down, followed by Hermione; and then you ran. You pushed through the crowd and threw your arms around Hermione, happy to see her alive. 

Harry was bombarded by people hugging him and clapping him on the back. Ron was excitedly chatting with his former roommates, all of them excited to be reunited. Others gathered around Hermione, asking her about Gringotts and how the hell they managed to escape on a dragon. You stepped back and let your friends catch up with everyone else, knowing that they hadn’t seen them longer than you had; you were satisfied in now knowing they were alive and well. 

“What are we going to do now, Harry?” Seamus asked once everyone had calmed down. 

You were sitting in a somewhat odd circle with Ben, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Seamus, Dean, Luna, Matt, and Neville. Rey was off somewhere with Finn, and you didn’t dare bother them. You knew they had missed each other immensely. 

“Yeah Harry, what’s the plan?” Dean chimed in. 

Harry sort of chuckled. “I don’t have one, actually.” 

“You don’t have a plan?” Neville asked. 

“No, not really. I just know there is something here in Hogwarts that I need. It will help us end the war. I just need time to find it.” Harry said. 

“We can buy you time.” Matt said. 

Before anyone could say anything, a loud noise flowed throughout the room. Everyone put their hands to their ears, groaning at the sound. It was a man—Severus Snape’s voice to be exact. 

_ “I want all students to report to the Great Hall, immediately.”  _

And that was it. 

Everyone paused and looked around, unsure of what to do. 

“I’ve got an idea…” Ron said. “You got any extra Hogwarts uniforms lying around?” 

-

It felt weird wearing a Gryffindor uniform, even though you were willing to admit red and gold looked great on you. It was also weird seeing Matt in a Gryffindor uniform. You had always thought he would do well in the House, but Slytherin would always suit him better. 

You stood in the empty Great Hall. What once was bright, brilliant, and beautiful was now grey, dull, and depressing. The four house tables were gone, the candle flames were low, and all house banners were removed too. You wanted to look around more, but was nervous that someone may recognize your face. You were smack dab in the middle of the Gryffindor mob; Neville to your left, Matt to your right, Ben in front of you, and Rey and Finn somewhere behind you. 

Your heart was racing as Severus Snape started to pace between the students. 

“Harry Potter has been spotted in Hogsmeade.” He finally said. People started to whisper, but Snape silenced them quickly. “And we have reason to believe that he plans on making his way into the castle.” 

You swallowed the saliva in your mouth. Neville reached over just slightly, grabbing your hand. He squeezed it a few times before letting go. You didn’t dare look over at him. 

“If any of you are caught trying to help Harry Potter into our school, you will be severely punished. But, if you turn him in, you will be greatly rewarded.” Snape started to walk away from the perfectly lined up students. 

“I’m right here.” You heard Harry say. Everyone gasped as he pushed his way through the students, standing in plain sight. 

Snape slowly took his wand out from his robes, ready to attack. Minerva McGonagall stepped out in front of Harry, her wand ready in hand. 

“Don’t do this Severus.” Minerva said. 

Snape cast a spell in her direction, but she deflected it. He tried again, and failed. Minerva then took a chance at him, and even though Snape was able to block her spell, the sheer power of it knocked him back. But she didn’t let up. She kept on throwing charms at him, and Snape kept stepping back until he had nowhere else to go. He paused, pulled up his cloak, turned into what looked like a solid mist, and flew out of the large window in the Great Hall. 

Glass shattered everywhere, and everyone cheered. Minerva McGonagall flicked her wand and all the candles in the Hall started to glow brightly. 

Ben turned to you and grabbed you by the shoulders, a giant smile on his face. He kissed you on the lips, then on the cheek a few times. Everyone who had not seen Harry since his departure last year were crowded around him, hugging him or patting him on the back. All the students seemed so happy, for a moment everyone forgot they were in the middle of a war. 

Until the harshest sound you had ever heard infiltrated your mind—and everyone else’s too. Some yelled, others threw their hands over their ears. Someone was speaking, their words felt like they were echoing inside your mind. It was painful and loud as you were forced to listen. 

_ You have one hour to bring me Harry Potter and I will spare your lives.  _


	44. War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be posting the final chapter in about an hour. You are all the absolute best, thank you for reading <3

Pansy Parkinson pointed at Harry. “What are you waiting for?” She shouted. “Grab him!” 

Professor McGonagall stepped in front of Harry. A few others nearby did the same. 

“No one will be touching Mr. Potter.” McGonagall said. “If you do not wish to participate in defending your school and classmates, I advise that you and whoever else find your way down to the dungeons and stay there until this is all over.” 

Pansy snarled at McGonagall before turning on her heel. Quite a few Slytherins followed after her, but some stayed. You knew not  _ all  _ Slytherins were bad people, it just so happened that many of them were. 

McGonagall turned to Harry. “How can we help?” She asked. 

“I need time. Time to find something here in the castle. I think I need to start in the Ravenclaw common room.” Harry trailed off. 

“I can help!” Rey shouted. “Luna and I both can.” 

You arched an eyebrow. “I’m a Ravenclaw too…” 

“You’re staying with me.” Ben said, grabbing your hand. “I’m not letting you out of my sight.” 

You looked up at him and squeezed his hand tight. 

“The rest of you, we need to man the castle. We must protect it. I will tell the other professors to round up the Death Eaters, to chain them up before the battle begins!” Mcgonagall started to walk out of the Hall. 

Without much thought, you followed her. Everyone around you was scrambling to prepare for battle. People pooled out into the courtyard, spewing protective spells over the castle. Minerva charmed the statues of knights that were just outside one of the archways to the school. You watched them come to life, jumping down and waiting for McGonagall’s commands. 

“Protect your home!” She shouted at them, and they started to walk towards the bridge that connected the rolling hills to the castle. 

“What should we do?” Ben asked her as he watched. 

“I’m sure you can think of something, Mr. Solo.” She said before walking away. 

“Helpful.” He said under his breath. 

“She has a lot to take care of.” You reminded him gently. 

“I guess we shouldn’t just stand here.” He said, looking around. You saw Matt with the crowd of people enchanting the outside of the castle. “We need to protect our school too.” 

You nodded and stepped back, lifting your wand. You joined in with your fellow students, mumbling every protective spell you knew. You tried not to focus too much on all that was going on around you. So many people were running about in a rush, finding others and going off in a direction together. You had already lost track of all your friends besides Matt and Ben. You closed your eyes, still mumbling spells. You hoped all your friends stayed safe and everyone would make it out of this alive. 

“Everyone, gather around!” You heard someone shout. You lowered your wand and realized that it was Professor Sprout. A small crowd gathered around her as she waited. 

“Madam Pomfrey and I will be available to all of you in the Great Hall. If you need medical attention please come immediately.” She said, sounding stern. It was odd not seeing the usual cheery smile on her face. 

“And if you see anyone who is injured, help them.” Professor McGonagall said, appearing beside Professor Sprout. 

“Done already?” Sprout asked Minerva. 

“With the help of some students, it didn’t take long. Plus, we had a few guests arrive.” McGonagall replied. 

“A few guests-?” Matt asked as a group of people made their way out into the courtyard. 

You recognized a few of them; Poe Dameron, Fred and George Weasley, Remus Lupin who had been your teacher in year three, and Alastor Moody who had been your teacher in year four...sort of. The rest, you did not know. But from the reaction of others around you, you assumed they were trustworthy. 

Matt immediately ran to Poe, Fred, and George, hugging them with excitement. You hadn’t seen him with a smile that big in weeks, it warmed your heart to see the four boys reconnect with the few minutes they had together. You saw a middle aged woman with red hair hugging Ginny, realizing that she must be the Weasley’s mother. 

As everyone was distracted with hello’s and catching up, you heard something above you. You looked up to see a small, white light collide into the magenta barrier that was covering Hogwarts. Another white light came, and then another. Ben had noticed you were distracted, and looked up too. 

“What is that?” you asked. 

“I have no idea.” he replied. 

People around the two of you started to notice also. Little bits of white light kept on hitting the barrier, making it crack a little with each impact. 

“Do you think…?” you started, but was caught off by someone shouting. 

“They’re coming!” you heard someone yell. Everyone looked in the direction of the voice. It was Neville, running at full speed towards the courtyard, with a worried look on his face. “They’re coming  _ now! _ ” he shouted. 

“Don’t panic!” Professor McGonagall said as a few students screamed while others ran towards the castle. 

“Grab your wands and hold your position!” Alastor Moody yelled. 

You, the professors, and the older, graduated students of Hogwarts stood, waiting. Everyone had their wand drawn as they waited anxiously. You could hear footsteps, a ton of them. People shouting and screaming, the sound getting louder with each second. 

They were horrifying. Those at the front of the crowd didn’t seem human at all. They reminded you of the snatchers who had caught you and brought you back to the Malfoy’s. Like wolvish animals with yellow eyes, sharp teeth and nails, and tattered clothing. They weren’t even holding wands, just screaming as they sprinted towards the castle. Some attacked the first person they saw, other’s kept running. Behind them were all kinds of people, most in dark robes with their hoods pulled up. There were too many of them to try and study who they were; you were sure you wouldn’t recognize anyone always. 

Not unless you saw Kylo. 

Ben reached down to grab your hand. “I love you.” he said quickly. You weren’t even able to say it back, those attacking had reached the courtyard and both of you had to start blocking spells. It took you by surprise, even though you knew it was coming. There were so many of them, it was hard to pay attention to who was focused on hurting you. You couldn’t even look around for your friends to make sure they were ok. You hadn’t seen anyone but Matt and Ben anyways. You started to panic. Where was everyone else?

“ _ Pulso!”  _ you heard someone shout. A yellow light came flying towards you, knocking you back hard against the ground. You couldn’t breathe, the impact was too much for you to handle. You looked up at the sky, choking while you tried to take deep breaths. You clawed at your throat, panicking as someone started to walk towards you. You felt alone and scared. You couldn’t defend yourself now, you didn’t even know where your wand was. 

_ “Stupefy!”  _

Matt had come to your rescue. He sent the Death Eater flying against one of the castle walls. He kneeled beside you, looking you up and down to make sure you had no injuries. “Are you alright?” he asked. 

You were taking heavy breaths, finally able to breathe again. You looked up at your friend and nodded, still unable to stand for yourself. 

“It’s ok, take your time. I’ve got your back.” Matt said as you continued to try and catch your breath. 

“Where’s Ben?” you managed to ask through breaths. 

“He’s over there, I can see him. He’s ok, don’t worry.” Matt replied. 

You nodded, feeling your lungs start to function normally. “Thank you, Matty.” you said, wiping a few tears from your eyes. 

“Come on.” he said, reaching his hand out to you. 

You grabbed it and he pulled you up, but before you could steady your feet, a fast blur of brown tackled Matt to the ground. You stepped back, almost falling again. One of the snatchers had gotten on top of Matt, scratching at him with his long nails. Matt couldn’t push him off, and just as you reached for your wand to help him, you felt something start to constrict your body. 

Looking down, you saw chains bound around your torso, your arms held down as well. A Death Eater had their wand pointed at you, holding the chains tight. They flicked their wand and slammed you against the castle wall. You had the wind knocked out of you, and you looked for Matt. He was bleeding badly, still trying to fend off the snatcher. 

With whatever strength you had left in your lungs, you yelled for Ben. You felt helpless, watching as Matt started to bleed out onto the ground. He wasn’t trying to fight off the snatcher anymore, and you worried that he had been killed. 

Ben heard you yell his name and turned to see his brother on the ground. He cast a spell at the snatcher, sending him flying across the courtyard. He then saw you tied up, unable to move. The Death Eater controlling your chains was laughing, but Ben sent him flying into the same wall you were pinned up against. 

“ _ Finite!”  _ he pointed at your chains from a few yards away. 

They immediately disappeared, and you started to take deep breaths as you watched Ben sprint to his twin brother. He fell to the ground, grabbed Matt’s head and rested him in his lap. Once you caught your breath, you ran over to the two of them, dodging others as they fought off Death Eaters. 

“Ben, take him to the Great Hall!” you shouted over the noise. Matt had lost a lot of blood; his chest and face were cut open. His glasses had fallen off, now lying broken on the ground next to him. 

Ben was crying as he looked down at his seemingly lifeless brother. 

You could see Matt breathing, but his breaths were shallow. “You need to take him now, he’s still alive. Get him out of here.” you said. 

Ben wiped away the tears from his face, took his brother, and lifted him over his shoulder. “Come with me.” he said. “I don’t want you out here alone.” 

“I can’t, I need to find Rey.” you replied. “Just kiss me, I’ll see you soon.” 

The two of you kissed quickly before Ben ran off towards the castle. You went in another direction, knowing that Rey and Luna had gone with Harry to Ravenclaw Tower. You hoped that she was still in the general area or else it would be hard to find her. Above all else, you prayed that she was ok. 

The inside of the castle looked no better than the outside. Portraits had been knocked off the walls, pieces of stone blown out from the castle structure and scattered around the floor, and students throwing spells at whoever tried to attack them. You ran past everyone, shouting Rey’s name every few seconds in the hopes that she’d yell back. 

You rounded a corner and saw a tall Death Eater with their hood up backing a few second years into a wall.  _ “Stupefy!”  _ you shouted, sending the Death Eater hurling into the wall. The second years looked up at you, terrified. “Get out of here! Go to the Great Hall!” you yelled over all the noise. 

They got up quickly and scattered away, not even thinking to say thank you. You didn’t care, they were scared. There was no reason for them to be out trying to fight, they were much too young. You hoped they listened to you and scurried over to the Great Hall where it was safer. 

The Death Eater you had sent flying into the wall face first was lying flat on their back, groaning in pain. You walked up to them with your wand pointing at their face. As you approached, you saw that their hood had fallen down from around their head. 

It was Kylo. 

You felt sick to your stomach. You stood above him, looking down. You felt powerful, but also emotional. There was so much you wanted to say to him, and so much you wanted to ask. You had no idea where to start. 

“You fucking asshole! What is wrong with you? Tormenting second years!” you wanted to punch him in the face. 

Kylo stayed silent. The truth was, he didn’t know what to say. He was taken aback just by seeing your face. He had hoped he wouldn’t have to on this night. But, you were still so beautiful, even with cuts and dirt on your face. 

“Why did you leave me like that?” you spat, now thinking about the night of the wedding. “Why would you do that to me?” you felt tears start to run down your cheeks. 

“I wanted to keep you safe. I knew what was about to happen, I didn’t want anyone hurting you.” he replied. “I’ve always cared for you.” 

“You don’t care for me. If you did, you would have never joined Voldemort.” you snapped. “You’re fighting for a cause, a sick cause, that thinks people like  _ me  _ don’t deserve to be in the magic world. They think I have dirty blood!” 

Kylo didn’t reply. 

“Do you think that about me? And everyone else who isn’t a pureblood?” you looked down at him, your tears starting to fall around his face. He hadn’t moved, but you knew it was by choice. He was letting you confront him. “Why would you join them in the first place, Kylo? What is so appealing about being a Death Eater?” you shouted at him. 

“Because I had nothing! My family didn’t love me, especially not my parents. They loved my brothers more than me. I had no friends, no one to care about me or how I felt. And then I lost you to Ben...and after that there was nothing left.” Kylo said, not looking you in the eyes as he did. “They welcomed me with open arms, they didn’t judge me. They were like a second family. For once, I felt cared about.” 

“They’re not your family, Kylo. They’re using you. Voldemort uses every single one of you.” you bit your lip, trying not to cry more. “We all want you back. Please, come back to us. Your brothers miss you, Matt and Ben love you so much. And you  _ have  _ friends, you idiot. Who are Neville, Seamus, and Dean? What about Harry and Ron? Why would you betray them all by joining the dark side?” You paused. “What about me? I thought we were friends.” 

“I can’t go back.” Kylo said. He was so quiet, you could hardly hear him. 

“Yes, you can. It’s never too late.” you couldn’t help but start crying again. 

The two of you stared into each other’s eyes, not saying a word. Both of you were crying, but couldn’t find anything more to say. There was no getting through to him. 

_ “You have all fought bravely.”  _

The same voice you had heard earlier rang through your ears. You closed your eyes, wincing at how loud it was. 

_ “Harry Potter, will you continue to let your friends fight for you? Meet me in the Forbidden Forest, no one else has to die.”  _

It seemed as if everyone fighting inside and outside the castle had fallen silent. 

You looked down at Kylo. “You better run off to your leader.” you said before turning on your heel and walking away. 


	45. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it.

You ran down the corridor wanting to get as far away from Kylo as possible. You still didn’t understand why he felt the need to join Voldemort. Had things really been that bad for him? Having to hear him mention yours and Ben’s relationship as part of his downfall was...upsetting. You weren’t going to argue with him about it, but he had been the one to push you into the arms of Ben Solo. Kylo had you first, and if he hadn’t fucked up then the two of you  _ probably  _ would have ended up together. And who knows, you might have had a happy ending; move in together after school, get married, have children, you know, all the stuff people seem to dream about. 

Things had been a little quieter since Voldemort’s last announcement. You wondered if Harry had decided to meet him in the Forest, and that’s why the castle was no longer being attacked. If he had, you wished you could have said goodbye. Tears started to fill your eyes and you blinked them away. You didn’t want to think about how many of your friends had been injured or even killed. You still hadn’t seen Rey or Luna and you felt sick just thinking of them lying somewhere, cold and dead. 

You turned the last corner towards the Great Hall and saw Draco Malfoy and Armitage Hux walking in the opposite direction. You stiffened up, trying to look brave as you walked past them. You held your wand tightly just as you were a few feet from passing by them. Hux looked down at your wand and rolled his eyes. 

“Put that away.” he said casually. 

“Yeah, we didn’t want this just as much as any of you did.” Draco replied. 

The two of them walked past you without saying another word. They both looked tired with their robes dusty and dirty. You wondered where they had been. It seemed like they had been hiding away from the war going on in the courtyard. You thought they had joined Voldemort, but after what Draco said, it didn’t seem like the two of them wanted anything to do with what their parents were doing. You didn’t blame them. You were sure they had lost friends too, and maybe they were sick of everything that had been going on. Being the child of a Death Eater was probably not the easiest thing. 

The Great Hall was filled with many who were injured or already dead. For a moment, you stood at the entrance, taking it all in. Madam Pomfrey and Professor Sprout were bobbing between students, healing wounds and handing out potions. The dead had been laid out with sheets pulled over their faces. You saw the Weasley’s standing next to one, their mother crying into George’s chest. Ron, Ginny, and George were all crying too, as well as Poe Dameron who had his hand on Arthur Weasley’s shoulder. By elimination, you soon realized that Fred was under that sheet. 

You chewed at your cheek, trying not to cry as you continued to scan the room. Harry was nowhere in sight, Hermione was consoling Pavarti as she cried over a dead body, Rey was sitting against one of the walls with Finn as he held his arm which no longer had a hand, Dean was helping patch up some cuts on Seamus, and Neville, Luna, and Ben were kneeling on the ground next to who you assumed to be Matt. 

Taking a deep breath, you started to walk towards them, praying that Matt had not been covered by a sheet. Your heart was racing as you approached, craning your neck to see if Matt was ok. The deep scratches on his face and chest had been closed and he was no longer bleeding. Someone had fixed his glasses and placed them back on his face as he rested on the floor. Luna was holding his hand and Ben was holding his other. Neville was rubbing some sort of blue liquid on Matt’s healing wounds, something you assumed that would help with the scarring process. 

You got on your knees behind Ben and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. You kissed him on the side of the neck before leaning into him a little bit more. Luna was calm as she held her boyfriend’s hand, and Neville kept working on Matt’s wounds. 

“He’s gonna be ok.” Ben said to you. 

You smiled to yourself and squeezed Ben’s shoulders. 

“He’s going to have some insane scars, though.” Neville chimed in. 

“Matt will still be very beautiful, with or without the scars.” Luna said, looking down at his face as she did. 

“Yeah, he’s gonna look way cooler than me now.” Ben replied. 

A fourth year Ravenclaw ran into the Great Hall, his shoes scuffing across the floor as he did. You looked up to see him quite frazzled. “Someone’s coming!” he shouted. A few people stood up from their seated positions. “Come, quick!” he shouted, waving his arm and then running back out of the Hall. 

Your heart rate started to pick up again, and you reached for Ben’s hand. He squeezed yours, knowing that you were anxious. You watched Luna kiss Matt on the cheek before standing. The three of you made your way outside of the Great Hall, Neville in tow, just as the rest of the survivors did. 

Everyone pooled out into the courtyard. No one was talking, just absolute silence as people watched Voldemort and his most loyal Death Eaters start to approach. You saw Hagrid in chains, and found yourself trying not to look. He looked absolutely destroyed as he carried what looked like a body in his arms. Once Voldemort was in better view, you realized that he had a smile across his face. 

“Harry Potter is dead!” he announced gleefully. He pointed over to Hagrid and you felt your stomach drop now realizing that he was carrying Harry’s dead body. The Death Eaters cheered and laughed. You saw Kylo in the crowd, but there was no emotion on his face. He was the only Death Eater not celebrating. 

“Now it is your choice; join us and your life will be spared!” Voldemort said, looking over the crowd. 

Everyone stayed put. No one wanted to join him, even if it meant death. You could hear sniffling around you, sure that people were mourning the death of Harry. 

Ben let go of your hand, and you looked up at him. He kept his gaze forward as he started to push past people and towards Voldemort. You wanted to shout his name, unsure of what he was doing. Was Ben really about to join them? 

“Ah, here he comes to join his brother.” Voldemort said and a few Death Eaters laughed. You looked over to see Kylo watching Ben. 

“Kylo.” Ben said in a bold voice. “Please.” Ben looked at his brother. “Please come back.” 

Kylo said nothing, but he looked shocked. 

“This isn't who you are. Please, mum misses you. Matt misses you. I miss you. We all want you back.” Ben continued. 

“Kylo, please!” you heard Rey shout from the crowd. She walked out to join her cousin, her hand outstretched towards Kylo. “It doesn’t have to be like this.” 

“How sweet, a family reunion.” Voldemort said in a daunting voice. 

“You’re better than this!” you heard Seamus yell. 

“We want you back!” Neville shouted next. 

“We love you, Kylo.” Ben continued. “Nothing you did can change that. I just want my brother back.” You could hear in his voice that he was crying. 

Voldemort turned to Kylo. “You are free to choose your side, though I had thought you already picked yours.” 

Kylo had his head down, now looking at the ground. 

“Kylo!” you yelled. 

He looked up immediately, searching for your face. 

“Come back to where you belong.” you said. 

He looked at his brother, and then his cousin. Slowly, Kylo started to walk towards them. You held your breath, tears falling down your face as Kylo crossed the courtyard. At the same time, Voldemort raised his wand and pointed it at him. You let out a scream as green light came from the tip of his wand, striking Kylo to the ground. 

All of a sudden, Harry lept from Hagrid’s arms and cast a spell at Voldemort, but he was quick at reacting. Both their spells collided and the color of green and red lit up the area. People cheered at the sight of Harry being alive, but Rey and Ben were on their knees next to Kylo. You ran up to them, Ben holding his brother’s body in his lap while Rey cried beside him.

Harry’s spell overpowered Voldemort’s and you looked just in time to see Voldemort’s body start to peel away into tiny bits of black that evaporated into the sky. Everyone around you celebrated, but you couldn’t find it in you to feel happy. All you could hear was Ben and Rey crying as they continued to hover over Kylo’s dead body. You felt sick to your stomach and couldn’t even bring yourself to look at his lifeless face. 

In the end, he was good. 

_ Six years later.  _

You watched Neville preparing pots of plants in the greenhouse as he got ready for the new school year. This was his second year teaching Herbology, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think he’d end up with this job. You hadn’t seen him since his and Susan Bones’ wedding a few years ago. Both of you had been so busy with growing up that it was hard to find the time to see one another. You were glad that you were able to get a job teaching at Hogwarts. Though you wished you were teaching Herbology, Potions made sense too. You had always been great at it, anyways. 

“Have you settled into your office alright?” Neville asked as he moved a few pots around. 

“Just about. Still weird to think it used to be Snape’s.” you said, pretending to gag. Neville laughed. “I definitely plan on decorating it differently. If you’ve got any extra non violent plants I would love to have them for the room.” 

“Of course I do! I can bring some down tomorrow.” Neville replied with a smile. 

“You’re the best.” you said with a yawn. “I think I’m going to head back, I still have a lot of things to unpack.” 

“I’ll see you later, then.” Neville replied while standing up to hug you. He pulled you in and squeezed you tightly. “Kind of feels like old times, huh?” he said once letting go. 

You smiled. It did feel like old times; standing in the greenhouse together and chatting. “I’m glad we’ve found our way back to each other.” you replied. Neville would always be one of your closest friends. You and Ben had chosen him and his wife to be the godparents to your son. 

“We always do,” Neville replied. 

The two of you stood in the greenhouse for a few moments. After everything you had both been through, it was nice to have a sense of security and peace in your life. 

“See you.” you said with a wave before making your way back towards the castle. 

Night had fallen, but the late summer air was still warm. You walked across the lush, green grass and made your way back inside the castle. Minerva McGonagall had reached out to you regarding the open Potion’s position at Hogwarts. For the five years after the battle, they couldn’t seem to find a good fit for the job. She had been told by someone, which you assumed to be Neville, that you were brilliant at potions. 

Regardless, you were thankful for the job and to be back at your second home. Hogwarts was still as beautiful as it was the first day you saw it. Sometimes you forgot that a war had even been fought there; the castle had been perfectly restored. 

You started to head towards your office and new living quarters for the next ten months. You walked through the empty halls, candles lit to help you find your way. You assumed the other professors were already in bed since it was late and no one else was walking about. 

As you turned a corner, you saw a familiar looking face at the end of the corridor. You froze, unsure of what to do. It was Kylo, but you knew that he wasn’t alive.

It was his ghost.

You could see right through him, but still recognized his facial features with ease. You swallowed and started to walk towards him, heart racing as you did. He was looking out the window as you approached. You stopped beside him, looking up at his face. Kylo was still looking outside, and you wondered if he had heard you coming. 

“I’m sorry for everything I put you through.” he said, still looking out the window. “I wish I had learned how to treat you better.” 

You took a deep breath. “It’s ok, Kylo.” Even though it had only been six years, it felt like decades ago. 

“How are Matt and Ben?” Kylo asked, now looking down at you. Even as a ghost, it seemed like he was the same height as when he was alive. Meeting his gaze was hard, it brought back a lot of emotions. 

“Matt’s an Auror now, him and Luna got married.” you replied. “Right after the war. They have two daughters now.” you paused. “They’re twins.” 

Kylo chuckled. “Matt with two girls?” 

You laughed a little too. “Yeah, he’s a great dad, though. And the girls have curly blonde hair, just like him.” 

“What about Ben?” Kylo asked. 

You didn’t want to answer the question, but there really was no reason to lie. “Him and I got married a few years ago. We have a young son, only a year and a half old. Ben’s staying home with him, and my father is helping them out while I’m here teaching.” 

“Did you ever tell Ben about…” Kylo paused. 

“Us?” you finished for him and he nodded. “No.” you replied simply. 

“Yeah, probably better to leave it at that.” Kylo replied, looking back out the window. 

You didn’t know what to say. It was sad knowing that Kylo still thought about the two of you together. Sometimes you thought about it too, but you wouldn’t trade Ben for anything or anyone. You were happy with him and your little family. 

“It was nice to see you.” Kylo said, giving you a small smile. 

“Yeah.” you replied, still stuck in your thoughts. 

“It won’t be the last.” Kylo said. 

“You promise?” you asked, looking up at him. Even though he had passed, maybe there was a way for the two of you to rekindle your friendship. 

“I promise.” he replied. 

“I’ll see you, then.” you said with a smile. Kylo nodded and you continued to walk down the corridor, heading towards your living quarters. 

It was nice to see Kylo, but even better to finally have some closure. You wondered if Neville knew Kylo’s ghost remained at Hogwarts. You wanted to know why he didn’t tell you about him, but you weren’t going to ask. Neville seemed to always know what was best for you, and maybe this was just one of those times. 

Regardless, you were still happy to be here at Hogwarts, and even happier to be in the presence of friends. 

_ The End. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate every single one of you who read my fic and finished it all the way through. This was the first fic I wrote in over three years, so it felt good to start writing again. Again, I appreciate you all so much <3
> 
> I have a Draco x Reader fic I have been finishing up, and I am working on a Weasley Twins x Reader fic right now too. I am also considering writing a Kylo Ren x Reader fic, so let me know what ya'll think :) 
> 
> One more time; thank you so much. This is by far my favorite fic I've ever written. Thank you for the support.


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